Tinkering in the Camper Two Days Before Departure

01HV2QSJYG6KWAH4QZSJD8A86K

PUBLIC

April 10, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.10

Density 0.50

Energetic Quality

warm, low-amplitude, expansive

Journey Phase

staging — pre-departure threshold

Directional Vector

toward departure and self-authored life; away from housing, city, and landlord jurisdiction

Failed to load video

← Passing Scamper Inspection Before Departure

Final Day Before Departure to Campground →

Chapters

Transcript

[0:00] hey

[0:03] everyone we're cutting that

[0:05] out hi everyone it is Tuesday night

[0:08] right now I am I guess a day and a half

[0:12] away from from driving this thing I've

[0:15] just been sitting

[0:17] here working on my dash cam I couldn't

[0:20] get the rear cam to work the cable won't

[0:23] reach and I tried like five different

[0:24] USBC cables and none of them work so I

[0:26] contacted the support for the company

[0:29] who makes the I

[0:31] hope hope there's a solution I that's

[0:34] kind of my secret weapon for driving

[0:35] this thing was just having that out the

[0:37] back window so I'm kind that's kind of

[0:40] unfortunate but I've just been sitting

[0:42] here which I hadn't really done you know

[0:46] and I feel pretty comfortable I'm

[0:49] looking forward to Thursday

[0:51] morning the Camper's not that big my

[0:54] Jeep is not big put the two together

[0:57] it's not that big I could do this you

[0:59] know

[1:00] I'm ready and I was just thinking you

[1:03] know I'm in here by myself right now I'm

[1:05] just kind of tinkering pretty much so I

[1:08] thought I'd let the camera run a little

[1:10] bit and then when I'm done I'll just

[1:12] kind of cut it all together into a video

[1:14] for you because of that I'm smoking I

[1:17] didn't want to you know I want to

[1:19] present it my true self to you I'm not

[1:21] condoning smoking I've been smoking

[1:23] since I was 15 that's all that's 30

[1:27] years you know um

[1:30] at the same time I am not going to judge

[1:32] myself harshly for it you know it's a

[1:36] horrible habit if you don't smoke don't

[1:38] start but I'm going to be my authentic

[1:40] self on here and as far as cat GPT tells

[1:43] me that's

[1:44] okay so I'm not going to do it all the

[1:47] time don't get me wrong it's just that

[1:49] right now I just want to let the camera

[1:51] run and maybe we'll have a little bit of

[1:52] a chat here and

[1:54] then um you know let's just see how

[1:56] things go this is going to be kind of a

[1:58] unique video from me I think

[2:02] so I am using my tripod which did not

[2:05] want to stand up there it's cuz I have

[2:07] to charge this thing if the audio is not

[2:09] great I'm sorry I was I'm going to turn

[2:11] the audio device on I think but I need

[2:13] to let this charge a little bit first my

[2:15] phone is

[2:16] dying this tripod doesn't really go up

[2:18] very far either so I don't know how this

[2:21] is going to work but I just want to give

[2:23] it a try I guess see how it

[2:27] goes like I said I'm just tinkering in

[2:29] here

[2:29] [Music]

[2:32] here um it feels pretty

[2:39] organized and I feel ready I genuinely

[2:43] feel ready like to go I'm not saying

[2:46] that I'm actually ready to go because

[2:48] like my Bays aren't done the stuff that

[2:50] needs to go in them the house is a wreck

[2:52] I'm actually in a dispute with my

[2:53] landlords over me leaving they're doing

[2:55] a whole bunch of stuff they

[2:57] shouldn't um and now I'm I'm actually

[2:59] looking for a

[3:01] lawyer but I'm just I'm ready to get out

[3:04] of here

[3:08] right I'm ready to start my

[3:10] adventure ready to do this with you guys

[3:13] I'm ready to do this alone right with my

[3:15] cat of

[3:16] course guess I could show you a few

[3:19] things let's see

[3:21] here

[3:23] so this is generally how the office is

[3:26] going to go let's see if I can control

[3:28] this thing a little better

[3:31] so we got I have my batter's coming

[3:32] tomorrow the second one it's happy to

[3:34] hear that that was a lot sooner than I

[3:36] expected got my drone there which I

[3:38] haven't even gotten to play with yet you

[3:40] know right there I guess this isn't

[3:42] working too well guys I'm sorry but down

[3:44] here under the table like I've got all

[3:47] the cat stuff in the corner and then I

[3:50] got my pants and shorts

[3:51] there there's nowhere else to put them

[3:54] there just isn't I if I put them behind

[3:56] my shirts in the um the Wardrobe they're

[4:01] just very hard to get to and I just

[4:04] don't feel like that's a workable thing

[4:06] on a daily basis I took my first shower

[4:09] in here um yesterday it was really hard

[4:13] to get hot water I must have waited 30

[4:17] minutes for the electric water heater to

[4:20] do something and nothing ever happened

[4:22] and then I turned it on gas which I

[4:23] don't have a lot of

[4:25] that I eventually got eventually got

[4:28] some heat and and I took a shower it was

[4:31] not terrible it was not great it was not

[4:33] terrible I I kind of like

[4:35] it

[4:38] um I just feel like I'm really embracing

[4:40] this I I really feel that

[4:47] way I had to take down all of my baskets

[4:50] that were above the

[4:53] slide

[4:55] um well for one I have to put strip

[4:57] lights up there and I have to put a

[5:01] cable running back there once I can get

[5:03] the dash cam

[5:05] working and so the command strips were

[5:09] in the way I also started thinking maybe

[5:12] I should screw those in and not rely on

[5:14] the command strips because the stuff

[5:15] keeps falling you know I like those

[5:17] things but

[5:19] they're they don't work as advertised

[5:21] I'm just going to be honest they don't

[5:23] you know they're

[5:26] just if I mean sometimes they do like I

[5:29] just hard to

[5:33] say that one's been

[5:35] fine these are fine but you know one in

[5:39] the bathroom fell down

[5:41] today something fell down yesterday

[5:44] can't remember what that was oh it was

[5:45] in the bathroom also one almost fell

[5:47] down yesterday and then another one fell

[5:50] down in here somewhere so that's three

[5:52] now right so I

[5:55] just I don't know I'm getting a little

[5:57] more comfortable with the idea of just

[6:00] screw things in I hope there's no wires

[6:02] where I screw them but this is mine I

[6:06] you know I I'm using these command

[6:08] strips because I don't want to hurt

[6:10] anything don't want to put holes

[6:12] anywhere

[6:14] but this is mine I need to make it mine

[6:17] you know yes I want to sell it one

[6:21] day but I honestly don't know if I want

[6:24] to go bigger than this it would be

[6:26] convenient to be have longer length by

[6:29] at the same time like put a lot of work

[6:31] into this one it feels like home

[6:34] now and I would have to do that all over

[6:37] again and that was a lot of work and I

[6:39] have been exhausted from everything I've

[6:41] been doing it's the kind of thing that

[6:44] you you got to just like wait because

[6:47] then one day you're like um you don't

[6:49] feel that way anymore and you're like I

[6:51] can do that right and you're like oh God

[6:54] I remember doing all this

[6:56] stuff you

[6:58] know but I don't I don't know

[7:00] I I just I really don't know I I might

[7:03] keep this thing for years and years and

[7:05] years you know I just don't

[7:07] know even if I get comfortable driving

[7:10] it I just I like the size and I love my

[7:13] Jeep and I love driving my Jeep I

[7:17] just feel like I feel very lucky I

[7:21] honest to God that is how I feel it's

[7:23] very lucky I feel like like the stars

[7:26] are aligning in my life and I

[7:30] not sure

[7:33] why and and I am just grateful because

[7:36] it feels like nothing has ever aligned

[7:38] in my life so ever so for

[7:43] this this is just I just I I I'm

[7:46] speechless you can see that I'm

[7:49] speechless I'm not going to miss this

[7:52] being out here in the in the

[7:54] neighborhoods and you know I just I

[7:56] don't I don't like City Life when I was

[7:59] younger I did you know when I was like a

[8:03] teenager and young adult like I liked

[8:05] being in the city sorry guys I'm sure I

[8:08] don't look so great today but you know

[8:11] it is what it is I'm getting

[8:13] old getting old I haven't been putting

[8:17] lotion on or anything like that

[8:20] and but I'm going to get my routine down

[8:22] in there in that little

[8:24] bathroom and start taking better care of

[8:27] myself I mean that's a big part of this

[8:29] it's just just I've been so

[8:31] busy just I don't feel like any moment

[8:34] that I've been awake I've been working

[8:36] and then just crashing you

[8:41] know these fans are working out great

[8:44] they really are they do they're off now

[8:47] oh the batteries don't last a great deal

[8:49] though I did my battery ran dead yet

[8:51] last night while I sleeping in here I

[8:52] slept in here by myself left the cats

[8:55] inside with my Mom apparently that

[8:57] caused quite a problem Bailey got angry

[9:01] that I was out here and started taking

[9:03] it out on

[9:04] Oliver I don't know what to do with that

[9:07] cat sometimes he's got this he is the

[9:10] most lovable cat you can

[9:12] imagine and then he's got this other

[9:14] side that's like you don't ever want to

[9:17] see really

[9:20] don't but yeah pretty happy there's not

[9:24] a lot of room you know you

[9:28] really really work hard you get creative

[9:31] about what you de with your

[9:35] stuff so I didn't allow myself a lot of

[9:39] extras but I did allow a couple like

[9:41] like I got this this lamp here that's

[9:43] not a lava lamp but it's just you know

[9:46] it can do stuff that's its fire mode

[9:49] which I thought that was pretty

[9:51] cool and I got another one over here

[9:54] actually in the

[9:55] corner um but I don't know if I'll keep

[9:58] that one if I do I'm going to have to

[9:59] velro it down just for safety and I'm

[10:02] going to get strip lights and they're

[10:03] all by the same compy they're all

[10:05] stuff right so oh and I did bring in my

[10:08] Alexa music device cuz I do really love

[10:11] that thing you

[10:13] know it's great I just don't like Alexa

[10:17] never have you don't hear me Alexa

[10:21] hello she is not even on apparently well

[10:24] that's a little

[10:26] worried I've been losing power every

[10:29] once in a while cuz like I've been

[10:30] blowing a fuse in my

[10:32] house I would expect her to be working

[10:35] right now that's a little

[10:39] strange everything else is maybe she's

[10:41] not plugged in I don't

[10:43] know um I was going to tell you about

[10:45] this picture over here it's kind of hard

[10:46] to see with the glare of the lights

[10:49] don't know if you can see this I'll try

[10:51] to show it to you this picture is very

[10:53] very I mean I didn't have room for

[10:55] pictures right and yet I got this one

[11:00] there is something very haunting very

[11:02] beautiful very special about that

[11:04] picture I have

[11:05] always been drawn to

[11:09] it

[11:11] and it just had to come with

[11:14] me I'm not going to lie

[11:16] I sometimes see myself in that picture

[11:19] probably a lot more than I'll ever

[11:22] admit and it's interesting because

[11:25] that's just one side of that guy that's

[11:27] the painter's son I don't remember the

[11:29] painter's name it's a famous

[11:31] picture um but you can see his son in

[11:35] other other paintings that he's done for

[11:37] his father and they're happy pictures

[11:39] they're not like that one that

[11:43] one and it's not just a sadness it's not

[11:46] it's not just sadness in there there's

[11:48] just there's introspection there's depth

[11:53] there's there's a whole universe of

[11:56] things in that picture I just it

[11:58] fascinates me it really does it had to

[12:01] come with me there's something about

[12:03] looking at

[12:05] it there's another one I'll share with

[12:10] you um I was just showing my mom where I

[12:13] was going to put it and now it's

[12:16] disappeared I'm not blaming her it's

[12:19] just been moved let me figure it

[12:22] out

[12:24] um it's still in here that's weird oh I

[12:29] put on the bed because I'm I was going

[12:30] to tape it

[12:32] out with command strips I don't know see

[12:36] this is the back of

[12:37] it um it's just my you've probably seen

[12:40] it if you've been watching me long

[12:41] enough you've seen it in my office

[12:43] believe in

[12:45] yourself I need to tell myself that

[12:47] every day I don't have self-confidence I

[12:50] just don't I

[12:52] don't don't know what's feeling me right

[12:54] now I haven't figured it out it it is a

[12:57] very confusing thing

[13:00] I

[13:04] am I am just really still processing

[13:07] that let's just I that's all I can say

[13:09] cuz I I really am still processing it I

[13:11] don't I'm

[13:14] grateful but you know I'm not a man with

[13:16] like a natural self-confidence I'm going

[13:19] to have to pull this off the cable the

[13:21] charging cable in order to show you

[13:23] where I'm putting this we should be good

[13:26] it's getting kind of

[13:27] long probably lost most of you I

[13:30] know for the rest of you you're the

[13:34] special ones right just going to put it

[13:37] over here you know here's the door and

[13:40] I'm just going to put it right

[13:43] there every time you go in

[13:45] out believe in yourself I don't remember

[13:49] where I found this I know I was with my

[13:50] mom when I

[13:51] did and I just think it's

[13:54] beautiful I've always loved this one

[13:58] then there is one

[13:59] more

[14:01] um I just love this one because of the

[14:03] colors I'm not really

[14:05] into um I think that's a penguin

[14:08] right oh one sec okay there we go I

[14:13] think that's yeah that's a no I don't

[14:16] know what that is it's a duck whatever

[14:17] whatever it is I don't really care it's

[14:20] the colors that get me in this one um

[14:23] I've always love this one I'm going to

[14:25] try to put it here but you know in the

[14:27] bathroom iy don't know if that's going

[14:29] to work it does have glass but so does

[14:32] my other

[14:33] picture

[14:35] so I did send my ex-boyfriend's back and

[14:38] those were in glass too but I didn't

[14:39] have a place for those those were too

[14:41] big to be in

[14:42] here and he should have got them today

[14:45] actually hope that he likes having them

[14:48] back he made them like 15 years ago it's

[14:52] been a long

[14:54] time he was my last boyfriend too I mean

[14:57] that's how long it's been since I have

[14:58] dated

[15:00] anyone and I didn't care I really didn't

[15:04] um lately I don't

[15:06] know just like everything is inflexed in

[15:09] my head in my life and I'm just

[15:14] so something's happening to me I haven't

[15:17] really figured it out

[15:19] yet I just know I have to go I don't

[15:23] belong here anymore I have to go and I

[15:26] want to go you know

[15:29] I am just

[15:31] so excited and

[15:34] thrilled and

[15:37] ready

[15:38] ready ready to drive this thing and

[15:41] ready to go ready to live a new

[15:44] life and I am grateful to have the

[15:46] chance to do that with you here um I

[15:49] mean that you know I don't I hope that

[15:51] doesn't sound contrived or whatever

[15:55] just um not the best like I don't I

[16:00] I don't know how to put it into words

[16:02] right

[16:04] now no I don't know what I'm trying to

[16:06] get out of this right so I

[16:08] haven't it's hard for me

[16:12] to I'm not really sure what it is I'm

[16:15] trying to accomplish with this YouTube

[16:17] channel like I just don't know I guess

[16:20] like I

[16:22] just um I mean I'm always a genuine

[16:26] person it's just I'm I'm

[16:30] I don't know I'm still processing

[16:32] everything I don't know I'm just in a

[16:34] weird mood

[16:37] guys yeah I'm ready to drive this thing

[16:40] I really

[16:41] am ready to go out there out there guys

[16:46] out into the

[16:49] world go see some things go experience

[16:52] some peace and quiet

[16:55] somewhere away from the

[16:57] birds

[17:01] I know that's like not possible in the

[17:04] woods I get that but you know

[17:08] I it's not that I hate birds like that's

[17:11] kind of a running theme with me it's

[17:13] like a joke right but I don't I don't

[17:15] particularly like them right I really

[17:18] don't and I think it's just I don't like

[17:21] being woken up by them is what it is

[17:23] that's all it is you

[17:26] know um but I I was a night person for a

[17:29] long long time lately I've been getting

[17:32] up early and I think that's going to

[17:33] continue so maybe my opinion on the

[17:36] birds will change to I'm so ready to go

[17:39] I can just see me in this thing driving

[17:41] it down the

[17:43] road that is so wild to

[17:47] me man whole new world if I can do it

[17:51] you can do it I'm going to leave it

[17:54] there you guys have a great night

[0:00] hey

[0:03] everyone we're cutting that

[0:05] out hi everyone it is Tuesday night

[0:08] right now I am I guess a day and a half

[0:12] away from from driving this thing I've

[0:15] just been sitting

[0:17] here working on my dash cam I couldn't

[0:20] get the rear cam to work the cable won't

[0:23] reach and I tried like five different

[0:24] USBC cables and none of them work so I

[0:26] contacted the support for the company

[0:29] who makes the I

[0:31] hope hope there's a solution I that's

[0:34] kind of my secret weapon for driving

[0:35] this thing was just having that out the

[0:37] back window so I'm kind that's kind of

[0:40] unfortunate but I've just been sitting

[0:42] here which I hadn't really done you know

[0:46] and I feel pretty comfortable I'm

[0:49] looking forward to Thursday

[0:51] morning the Camper's not that big my

[0:54] Jeep is not big put the two together

[0:57] it's not that big I could do this you

[0:59] know

[1:00] I'm ready and I was just thinking you

[1:03] know I'm in here by myself right now I'm

[1:05] just kind of tinkering pretty much so I

[1:08] thought I'd let the camera run a little

[1:10] bit and then when I'm done I'll just

[1:12] kind of cut it all together into a video

[1:14] for you because of that I'm smoking I

[1:17] didn't want to you know I want to

[1:19] present it my true self to you I'm not

[1:21] condoning smoking I've been smoking

[1:23] since I was 15 that's all that's 30

[1:27] years you know um

[1:30] at the same time I am not going to judge

[1:32] myself harshly for it you know it's a

[1:36] horrible habit if you don't smoke don't

[1:38] start but I'm going to be my authentic

[1:40] self on here and as far as cat GPT tells

[1:43] me that's

[1:44] okay so I'm not going to do it all the

[1:47] time don't get me wrong it's just that

[1:49] right now I just want to let the camera

[1:51] run and maybe we'll have a little bit of

[1:52] a chat here and

[1:54] then um you know let's just see how

[1:56] things go this is going to be kind of a

[1:58] unique video from me I think

[2:02] so I am using my tripod which did not

[2:05] want to stand up there it's cuz I have

[2:07] to charge this thing if the audio is not

[2:09] great I'm sorry I was I'm going to turn

[2:11] the audio device on I think but I need

[2:13] to let this charge a little bit first my

[2:15] phone is

[2:16] dying this tripod doesn't really go up

[2:18] very far either so I don't know how this

[2:21] is going to work but I just want to give

[2:23] it a try I guess see how it

[2:27] goes like I said I'm just tinkering in

[2:29] here

[2:29] [Music]

[2:32] here um it feels pretty

[2:39] organized and I feel ready I genuinely

[2:43] feel ready like to go I'm not saying

[2:46] that I'm actually ready to go because

[2:48] like my Bays aren't done the stuff that

[2:50] needs to go in them the house is a wreck

[2:52] I'm actually in a dispute with my

[2:53] landlords over me leaving they're doing

[2:55] a whole bunch of stuff they

[2:57] shouldn't um and now I'm I'm actually

[2:59] looking for a

[3:01] lawyer but I'm just I'm ready to get out

[3:04] of here

[3:08] right I'm ready to start my

[3:10] adventure ready to do this with you guys

[3:13] I'm ready to do this alone right with my

[3:15] cat of

[3:16] course guess I could show you a few

[3:19] things let's see

[3:21] here

[3:23] so this is generally how the office is

[3:26] going to go let's see if I can control

[3:28] this thing a little better

[3:31] so we got I have my batter's coming

[3:32] tomorrow the second one it's happy to

[3:34] hear that that was a lot sooner than I

[3:36] expected got my drone there which I

[3:38] haven't even gotten to play with yet you

[3:40] know right there I guess this isn't

[3:42] working too well guys I'm sorry but down

[3:44] here under the table like I've got all

[3:47] the cat stuff in the corner and then I

[3:50] got my pants and shorts

[3:51] there there's nowhere else to put them

[3:54] there just isn't I if I put them behind

[3:56] my shirts in the um the Wardrobe they're

[4:01] just very hard to get to and I just

[4:04] don't feel like that's a workable thing

[4:06] on a daily basis I took my first shower

[4:09] in here um yesterday it was really hard

[4:13] to get hot water I must have waited 30

[4:17] minutes for the electric water heater to

[4:20] do something and nothing ever happened

[4:22] and then I turned it on gas which I

[4:23] don't have a lot of

[4:25] that I eventually got eventually got

[4:28] some heat and and I took a shower it was

[4:31] not terrible it was not great it was not

[4:33] terrible I I kind of like

[4:35] it

[4:38] um I just feel like I'm really embracing

[4:40] this I I really feel that

[4:47] way I had to take down all of my baskets

[4:50] that were above the

[4:53] slide

[4:55] um well for one I have to put strip

[4:57] lights up there and I have to put a

[5:01] cable running back there once I can get

[5:03] the dash cam

[5:05] working and so the command strips were

[5:09] in the way I also started thinking maybe

[5:12] I should screw those in and not rely on

[5:14] the command strips because the stuff

[5:15] keeps falling you know I like those

[5:17] things but

[5:19] they're they don't work as advertised

[5:21] I'm just going to be honest they don't

[5:23] you know they're

[5:26] just if I mean sometimes they do like I

[5:29] just hard to

[5:33] say that one's been

[5:35] fine these are fine but you know one in

[5:39] the bathroom fell down

[5:41] today something fell down yesterday

[5:44] can't remember what that was oh it was

[5:45] in the bathroom also one almost fell

[5:47] down yesterday and then another one fell

[5:50] down in here somewhere so that's three

[5:52] now right so I

[5:55] just I don't know I'm getting a little

[5:57] more comfortable with the idea of just

[6:00] screw things in I hope there's no wires

[6:02] where I screw them but this is mine I

[6:06] you know I I'm using these command

[6:08] strips because I don't want to hurt

[6:10] anything don't want to put holes

[6:12] anywhere

[6:14] but this is mine I need to make it mine

[6:17] you know yes I want to sell it one

[6:21] day but I honestly don't know if I want

[6:24] to go bigger than this it would be

[6:26] convenient to be have longer length by

[6:29] at the same time like put a lot of work

[6:31] into this one it feels like home

[6:34] now and I would have to do that all over

[6:37] again and that was a lot of work and I

[6:39] have been exhausted from everything I've

[6:41] been doing it's the kind of thing that

[6:44] you you got to just like wait because

[6:47] then one day you're like um you don't

[6:49] feel that way anymore and you're like I

[6:51] can do that right and you're like oh God

[6:54] I remember doing all this

[6:56] stuff you

[6:58] know but I don't I don't know

[7:00] I I just I really don't know I I might

[7:03] keep this thing for years and years and

[7:05] years you know I just don't

[7:07] know even if I get comfortable driving

[7:10] it I just I like the size and I love my

[7:13] Jeep and I love driving my Jeep I

[7:17] just feel like I feel very lucky I

[7:21] honest to God that is how I feel it's

[7:23] very lucky I feel like like the stars

[7:26] are aligning in my life and I

[7:30] not sure

[7:33] why and and I am just grateful because

[7:36] it feels like nothing has ever aligned

[7:38] in my life so ever so for

[7:43] this this is just I just I I I'm

[7:46] speechless you can see that I'm

[7:49] speechless I'm not going to miss this

[7:52] being out here in the in the

[7:54] neighborhoods and you know I just I

[7:56] don't I don't like City Life when I was

[7:59] younger I did you know when I was like a

[8:03] teenager and young adult like I liked

[8:05] being in the city sorry guys I'm sure I

[8:08] don't look so great today but you know

[8:11] it is what it is I'm getting

[8:13] old getting old I haven't been putting

[8:17] lotion on or anything like that

[8:20] and but I'm going to get my routine down

[8:22] in there in that little

[8:24] bathroom and start taking better care of

[8:27] myself I mean that's a big part of this

[8:29] it's just just I've been so

[8:31] busy just I don't feel like any moment

[8:34] that I've been awake I've been working

[8:36] and then just crashing you

[8:41] know these fans are working out great

[8:44] they really are they do they're off now

[8:47] oh the batteries don't last a great deal

[8:49] though I did my battery ran dead yet

[8:51] last night while I sleeping in here I

[8:52] slept in here by myself left the cats

[8:55] inside with my Mom apparently that

[8:57] caused quite a problem Bailey got angry

[9:01] that I was out here and started taking

[9:03] it out on

[9:04] Oliver I don't know what to do with that

[9:07] cat sometimes he's got this he is the

[9:10] most lovable cat you can

[9:12] imagine and then he's got this other

[9:14] side that's like you don't ever want to

[9:17] see really

[9:20] don't but yeah pretty happy there's not

[9:24] a lot of room you know you

[9:28] really really work hard you get creative

[9:31] about what you de with your

[9:35] stuff so I didn't allow myself a lot of

[9:39] extras but I did allow a couple like

[9:41] like I got this this lamp here that's

[9:43] not a lava lamp but it's just you know

[9:46] it can do stuff that's its fire mode

[9:49] which I thought that was pretty

[9:51] cool and I got another one over here

[9:54] actually in the

[9:55] corner um but I don't know if I'll keep

[9:58] that one if I do I'm going to have to

[9:59] velro it down just for safety and I'm

[10:02] going to get strip lights and they're

[10:03] all by the same compy they're all

[10:05] stuff right so oh and I did bring in my

[10:08] Alexa music device cuz I do really love

[10:11] that thing you

[10:13] know it's great I just don't like Alexa

[10:17] never have you don't hear me Alexa

[10:21] hello she is not even on apparently well

[10:24] that's a little

[10:26] worried I've been losing power every

[10:29] once in a while cuz like I've been

[10:30] blowing a fuse in my

[10:32] house I would expect her to be working

[10:35] right now that's a little

[10:39] strange everything else is maybe she's

[10:41] not plugged in I don't

[10:43] know um I was going to tell you about

[10:45] this picture over here it's kind of hard

[10:46] to see with the glare of the lights

[10:49] don't know if you can see this I'll try

[10:51] to show it to you this picture is very

[10:53] very I mean I didn't have room for

[10:55] pictures right and yet I got this one

[11:00] there is something very haunting very

[11:02] beautiful very special about that

[11:04] picture I have

[11:05] always been drawn to

[11:09] it

[11:11] and it just had to come with

[11:14] me I'm not going to lie

[11:16] I sometimes see myself in that picture

[11:19] probably a lot more than I'll ever

[11:22] admit and it's interesting because

[11:25] that's just one side of that guy that's

[11:27] the painter's son I don't remember the

[11:29] painter's name it's a famous

[11:31] picture um but you can see his son in

[11:35] other other paintings that he's done for

[11:37] his father and they're happy pictures

[11:39] they're not like that one that

[11:43] one and it's not just a sadness it's not

[11:46] it's not just sadness in there there's

[11:48] just there's introspection there's depth

[11:53] there's there's a whole universe of

[11:56] things in that picture I just it

[11:58] fascinates me it really does it had to

[12:01] come with me there's something about

[12:03] looking at

[12:05] it there's another one I'll share with

[12:10] you um I was just showing my mom where I

[12:13] was going to put it and now it's

[12:16] disappeared I'm not blaming her it's

[12:19] just been moved let me figure it

[12:22] out

[12:24] um it's still in here that's weird oh I

[12:29] put on the bed because I'm I was going

[12:30] to tape it

[12:32] out with command strips I don't know see

[12:36] this is the back of

[12:37] it um it's just my you've probably seen

[12:40] it if you've been watching me long

[12:41] enough you've seen it in my office

[12:43] believe in

[12:45] yourself I need to tell myself that

[12:47] every day I don't have self-confidence I

[12:50] just don't I

[12:52] don't don't know what's feeling me right

[12:54] now I haven't figured it out it it is a

[12:57] very confusing thing

[13:00] I

[13:04] am I am just really still processing

[13:07] that let's just I that's all I can say

[13:09] cuz I I really am still processing it I

[13:11] don't I'm

[13:14] grateful but you know I'm not a man with

[13:16] like a natural self-confidence I'm going

[13:19] to have to pull this off the cable the

[13:21] charging cable in order to show you

[13:23] where I'm putting this we should be good

[13:26] it's getting kind of

[13:27] long probably lost most of you I

[13:30] know for the rest of you you're the

[13:34] special ones right just going to put it

[13:37] over here you know here's the door and

[13:40] I'm just going to put it right

[13:43] there every time you go in

[13:45] out believe in yourself I don't remember

[13:49] where I found this I know I was with my

[13:50] mom when I

[13:51] did and I just think it's

[13:54] beautiful I've always loved this one

[13:58] then there is one

[13:59] more

[14:01] um I just love this one because of the

[14:03] colors I'm not really

[14:05] into um I think that's a penguin

[14:08] right oh one sec okay there we go I

[14:13] think that's yeah that's a no I don't

[14:16] know what that is it's a duck whatever

[14:17] whatever it is I don't really care it's

[14:20] the colors that get me in this one um

[14:23] I've always love this one I'm going to

[14:25] try to put it here but you know in the

[14:27] bathroom iy don't know if that's going

[14:29] to work it does have glass but so does

[14:32] my other

[14:33] picture

[14:35] so I did send my ex-boyfriend's back and

[14:38] those were in glass too but I didn't

[14:39] have a place for those those were too

[14:41] big to be in

[14:42] here and he should have got them today

[14:45] actually hope that he likes having them

[14:48] back he made them like 15 years ago it's

[14:52] been a long

[14:54] time he was my last boyfriend too I mean

[14:57] that's how long it's been since I have

[14:58] dated

[15:00] anyone and I didn't care I really didn't

[15:04] um lately I don't

[15:06] know just like everything is inflexed in

[15:09] my head in my life and I'm just

[15:14] so something's happening to me I haven't

[15:17] really figured it out

[15:19] yet I just know I have to go I don't

[15:23] belong here anymore I have to go and I

[15:26] want to go you know

[15:29] I am just

[15:31] so excited and

[15:34] thrilled and

[15:37] ready

[15:38] ready ready to drive this thing and

[15:41] ready to go ready to live a new

[15:44] life and I am grateful to have the

[15:46] chance to do that with you here um I

[15:49] mean that you know I don't I hope that

[15:51] doesn't sound contrived or whatever

[15:55] just um not the best like I don't I

[16:00] I don't know how to put it into words

[16:02] right

[16:04] now no I don't know what I'm trying to

[16:06] get out of this right so I

[16:08] haven't it's hard for me

[16:12] to I'm not really sure what it is I'm

[16:15] trying to accomplish with this YouTube

[16:17] channel like I just don't know I guess

[16:20] like I

[16:22] just um I mean I'm always a genuine

[16:26] person it's just I'm I'm

[16:30] I don't know I'm still processing

[16:32] everything I don't know I'm just in a

[16:34] weird mood

[16:37] guys yeah I'm ready to drive this thing

[16:40] I really

[16:41] am ready to go out there out there guys

[16:46] out into the

[16:49] world go see some things go experience

[16:52] some peace and quiet

[16:55] somewhere away from the

[16:57] birds

[17:01] I know that's like not possible in the

[17:04] woods I get that but you know

[17:08] I it's not that I hate birds like that's

[17:11] kind of a running theme with me it's

[17:13] like a joke right but I don't I don't

[17:15] particularly like them right I really

[17:18] don't and I think it's just I don't like

[17:21] being woken up by them is what it is

[17:23] that's all it is you

[17:26] know um but I I was a night person for a

[17:29] long long time lately I've been getting

[17:32] up early and I think that's going to

[17:33] continue so maybe my opinion on the

[17:36] birds will change to I'm so ready to go

[17:39] I can just see me in this thing driving

[17:41] it down the

[17:43] road that is so wild to

[17:47] me man whole new world if I can do it

[17:51] you can do it I'm going to leave it

[17:54] there you guys have a great night

11:29

Diagnosing RV Plumbing and Naming Caroline

Mar 29, 2024

2:36

Resolving RV Tank Cables With Mobile Tech

Mar 30, 2024

9:11

Outfitting the RV Before the April 30 Move-Out

Mar 30, 2024

4:20

Announcing First Month of Campground Bookings

Mar 31, 2024

18:03

Mitigating RV Fears and Insulating the Camper

Mar 31, 2024

16:15

Preparing Camper Departure and Dissolving the House

Apr 1, 2024

7:43

Sorting Possessions Before Departure

Apr 3, 2024

13:07

Riding Out Thunderstorms, Thanking Early Adopters

Apr 3, 2024

15:11

Riding Out Storm in RV With Cats

Apr 3, 2024

10:08

One Week Out: Packing, Cold, and Cats

Apr 4, 2024

9:32

Insulating the Camper and Organizing Move-In

Apr 6, 2024

36:14

Installing Solar Power in the Camper

Apr 7, 2024

10:44

Testing Solar Setup Before Camper Inspection

Apr 7, 2024

7:33

Passing Scamper Inspection Before Departure

Apr 8, 2024

17:57

Tinkering in the Camper Two Days Before Departure

Apr 10, 2024

19:57

Final Day Before Departure to Campground

Apr 11, 2024

9:15

Retracting the Slide for the First Time

Apr 11, 2024

6:45

Marking 47th Birthday Before Departure

Apr 11, 2024

6:40

First Night at Campsite, New Life Begins

Apr 12, 2024

39:34

Day One in the Camper on His 47th Birthday

Apr 13, 2024

2:03

Closing the YouTube Channel Before Heading West

Apr 13, 2024

1:55

Clarifying the Project Is About Following Dreams

Apr 14, 2024

5:47

Reversing Channel Shutdown, Mapping Westward Route

Apr 15, 2024

3:44

Reviewing a Missed Encounter at the Park

Apr 15, 2024

5:37

First Morning Settling Into Camper Life

Apr 16, 2024

1:43

Setting Up Outdoor Site, Declaring Break From Matrix

Apr 16, 2024

5:35

Beginning Tramadol Withdrawal While Building Out RV Interior

Apr 17, 2024

4:53

First Grill Cookout at Campsite

Apr 17, 2024

3:17

Meeting Kevin and Organizing the RV Interior

Apr 18, 2024

10:03

Driving to Collect Supplies, Day Eight of RV Life

Apr 18, 2024

2:38

Settling Cats and Gaming Rig into the Camper

Apr 18, 2024

Photos · Apr 19, 2024

Apr 19, 2024

Photos · Apr 19, 2024

Apr 19, 2024

10:56

Emptying the House, Debating the Cats

Apr 20, 2024

8:33

Setting Up the Camper and Retrieving the Cats

Apr 20, 2024

2:03

Mounting Storage Baskets in the Camper

Apr 20, 2024

0:41

Recalling Firesworn Nation in EVE Online

Apr 21, 2024

4:33

Day Eleven: Cold Mornings and Neighbor Departures

Apr 21, 2024

2:38

Routing Next Stop and Deferring Dental Work

Apr 21, 2024

2:56

Managing Gray Tank Limits and Booking Tennessee Site

Apr 21, 2024

1:34

Unpacking Books and Storage Outside the Camper

Apr 21, 2024

PUBLIC

April 10, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.10

Density 0.50

Energetic Quality

warm, low-amplitude, expansive

Journey Phase

staging — pre-departure threshold

Directional Vector

toward departure and self-authored life; away from housing, city, and landlord jurisdiction

Narrative

It was Tuesday night, and rswfire was inside the camper with the door shut and the fans running, a day and a half out from the drive. He had been working the dash cam for a while by then — the rear unit was the piece he'd been counting on, the thing he called his secret weapon for towing a trailer he had not yet towed — and the cable would not reach. He tried five different USB-C cables. None of them worked. He wrote to the company's support line and left it there, unresolved, the run of wire stopped partway along the ceiling where it would have to wait. Then he set his phone on a short tripod that kept refusing to stand, watched the battery drop, and decided to let the camera run anyway.

He was smoking on camera, and he said so directly, before anyone could ask. Thirty years of it, since he was fifteen. He was not condoning it and he was not going to judge himself harshly for it either; what he wanted, he said, was to present his true self, and so the cigarette stayed in frame the way the tipping tripod stayed in frame and the bad audio stayed in frame. He had no thesis for the channel. He said that plainly too — that he wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish with it, that he was in a weird mood, that he was still processing. He kept filming.

The tour he gave was small because the space was small. The second battery was arriving the next day, sooner than he'd expected. The drone sat there unopened, still unplayed with. Cat supplies in the corner, pants and shorts stowed under the table because there was nowhere else and stacking them behind the shirts in the wardrobe wouldn't survive daily use. He had taken his first shower in the rig the day before — thirty minutes waiting on an electric water heater that never did anything, then switching to gas he didn't have much of, then heat, finally, and a shower he described as not great and not terrible, and said he kind of liked it. Outside the walls, the house was a wreck and he was in a dispute with his landlords over leaving, and looking for a lawyer. Inside, the fans were working out great, and the battery had run dead overnight while he slept out here alone, cats left inside with his mother, which had gone badly enough that Bailey took it out on Oliver.

The baskets above the slide came down that night. Partly because strip lights were going up there and the dash cam cable had to run through, and partly because the command strips kept failing — one in the bathroom that day, something the day before, another almost, then another somewhere in the main space. Three now, maybe more. He turned the problem over out loud and arrived somewhere else than adhesive. He'd been using the strips because he didn't want to hurt anything, didn't want to put holes anywhere. Then he said it twice, the second time slower: this is mine. I need to make it mine. He hoped there were no wires where the screws would go.

He allowed himself almost no extras and then named the exceptions with care. A lamp with a fire mode. Another in the corner he might not keep, and would velcro down for safety if he did. And three pictures, in a rig with no room for pictures. The first he held up against the glare — a portrait of a painter's son, haunting, beautiful, a face he said he sometimes saw himself in more than he'd ever admit. Not just sadness, he said. Introspection. Depth. A whole universe of things. It had to come. The second went missing mid-tour and turned up on the bed where he'd left it: believe in yourself, found years ago with his mother, headed for the wall beside the door so he'd pass it going in and out. He said he needed to tell himself that every day, that natural self-confidence was not something he had. The third was pure color — a duck, or a penguin, he didn't care which — bound for the bathroom if the glass would allow it. He mentioned, in passing, that he'd sent his ex-boyfriend's pieces back that day. Made fifteen years ago. Too big to fit in here. He hoped he'd like having them.

Near the end the phone was dying and the cable had to come off so he could carry it across the room, and rswfire said the things that had been running underneath all of it. That the camper felt like home now. That he might keep it for years. That he'd put too much work into this one to start over on something longer. That the stars felt like they were aligning, and nothing in his life had ever aligned before, and he was speechless about it and grateful and still, he said, processing. He wasn't going to miss the neighborhoods. He didn't like city life anymore. Something was happening to him and he hadn't figured out what — he only knew he had to go, that he didn't belong here, and that he wanted to. He talked about the peace and quiet waiting somewhere out there, and about the birds he'd be waking to, which he doesn't like, which is a joke and also isn't. He said he could see himself in this thing, driving it down the road. Then: if I can do it, you can do it. Have a great night. And he left it there, two days short of the departure, with the rear camera still not working.

Summary

rswfire records a loose, camera-running session inside his camper on a Tuesday night, roughly a day and a half before a Thursday morning departure. He states he is smoking during the recording and frames it as presenting his authentic self without self-judgment.

The practical field is outfitting and troubleshooting:

Dash cam rear camera fails — the cable won't reach and five different USB-C cables didn't work; he has contacted the manufacturer's support. He describes the rear cam as his "secret weapon" for driving.
Command strips repeatedly failing — three fell in two days; he is moving toward screwing fixtures in directly, stating the camper is his to modify.
Second battery arrives tomorrow; drone unused; fans working but batteries short-lived; the Alexa device appears unpowered.
First shower taken — electric water heater produced nothing after 30 minutes; gas eventually worked.
Storage constraints: clothing under the table, cat supplies in the corner, baskets removed for strip lights and cable routing.

He notes an active dispute with his landlords over his departure and states he is looking for a lawyer.

He walks through three pictures he chose to bring: a painter's-son portrait he describes as haunting and introspective and sometimes sees himself in, a "believe in yourself" piece mounted by the door, and a colorful bird print for the bathroom. He mentions returning framed pieces made by his ex-boyfriend, his last relationship. He states he is ready, grateful, feels the stars aligning, and that he no longer belongs where he is.

Environment

Interior of a travel trailer parked at a residence in an Oregon neighborhood, filmed at night on a phone mounted to a short tripod that keeps tipping and needs charging mid-recording. The camper is in final staging: dash cam cables run partway, baskets removed from above the slide, clothes stored under a table, cat supplies in a corner, a second battery in transit, a drone unopened.

Ambient systems are partially online — battery fans, an Alexa music device that does not respond, a house circuit that has been blowing a fuse. Outside the camper is a house being vacated under a landlord dispute; two days out from departure.

Substrate

rswfire is holding the position that the camper has already become home — ownership is declared before the drive begins, and the argument is made materially: command strips versus screws, temporary adhesion versus permanent fastening into his own walls. The architecture is a small mobile system being converted from equipment into dwelling, with authenticity of transmission (smoking on camera, unedited tinkering, stated absence of a channel thesis) treated as a load-bearing condition rather than a stylistic choice. What is dissolving is the fixed-address frame — landlord, neighborhood, city — and what is being built is a self-contained operating environment sized deliberately small.

Actions

Performed

•letting camera run while tinkering
•smoking on camera and stating the choice
•narrating dash cam wiring failure
•adjusting tripod and phone charging mid-record
•walking the camper interior on camera
•showing office area, drone, storage, cat corner
•showing lamp fire mode
•testing Alexa device (no response)
•describing the painting of the painter's son
•locating and placing the 'believe in yourself' print by the door
•showing the colored bird print intended for the bathroom
•stating readiness to drive

Referenced

•attempted rear dash cam install with five USB-C cables
•contacted dash cam manufacturer support
•took first shower in camper; 30 min on electric, switched to gas
•slept in camper overnight alone
•removed baskets above the slide
•command strips failing repeatedly — three fell
•entered dispute with landlords over leaving
•began looking for a lawyer
•shipped ex-boyfriend's artwork back to him
•smoking since age 15 — 30 years
•acquired lamps, fans, drone, second battery
•found the 'believe in yourself' print with his mother
•lived in cities as a teenager and young adult

Planned

•drive the rig Thursday morning
•receive second battery tomorrow
•install strip lights above slide
•run dash cam cable to rear window
•screw fixtures in rather than use adhesive
•velcro the corner lamp down
•finish the bays and load remaining gear
•hang bird print in bathroom
•establish daily self-care routine in camper bathroom
•possibly keep this camper long-term rather than upsize
•continue getting up early
•cut footage into a video

Entities

beings

rswfire — Recording the signal; owner and operator of the rig, two days from departure

Bailey — Cat; described as taking aggression out on Oliver when rswfire slept in the camper

Oliver — Cat; recipient of Bailey's aggression

rswfire's mother — In the house; kept the cats overnight; was present when the 'believe in yourself' print was found

Ex-boyfriend — Last person rswfire dated; made artwork 15 years ago that was mailed back

places

Camper — The recording environment; declared as home and as his

systems

Landlords — In dispute with rswfire over his departure; stated to be doing things they shouldn't

Jeep — Tow vehicle; stated as loved and small, paired with the camper

Dash cam — Rear camera described as the 'secret weapon' for towing; currently non-functional

Alexa music device — Brought into the camper for music; unresponsive during recording

ChatGPT — Cited as the source that authenticity on camera is acceptable

Command strips — Temporary mounting system failing repeatedly; the pivot point of the ownership argument

Drone — Acquired, still unused

concepts

Thursday morning — Stated departure point

media

YouTube channel — Publication surface; rswfire states he does not know what he is trying to accomplish with it

Painting of the painter's son — The only picture he made room for; describes seeing himself in it

'Believe in yourself' print — Formerly in his office; placed by the camper door to be seen on every exit

Bird/duck print — Kept for its colors; intended for the bathroom wall

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

threshold

fire

mirror

vessel

anchoring/fastening

road

portrait

birds

night

cable

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

threshold-standing (two days from departure, systems staged but incomplete)

sovereign-claiming (the shift from adhesive to screws framed as 'this is mine')

transitional (dwelling relocating from house to rig, jurisdiction changing)

self-observing without conclusion (states he is still processing, does not close the arc)

authenticity-declaring (smoking, appearance, uncertainty presented unedited)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

infrastructural (dash cam wiring, batteries, water heater, fuses, fans, strip lights)

domestic (storage allocation, showering, cat supplies, wall art placement)

vehicular (Jeep-camper pairing, towing readiness, rear visibility)

legal (landlord dispute, lawyer search)

somatic (smoking, skin care routine, sleep schedule shift, exhaustion from build work)

aesthetic (three images retained under severe space constraint; color and lighting choices)

relational (mother, cats, ex-boyfriend, audience)

documentary (camera left running, footage to be edited, channel purpose undefined)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

ready / ready to go

this is mine

still processing

it feels like home now

the stars are aligning

authentic self

I have to go / I don't belong here anymore

Narrative

Mirror

It is Tuesday night. You are inside the camper, alone, filming on a phone mounted to a tripod that will not stand up and does not extend far enough, and the phone is dying while you record. The rear dash cam does not work — the cable will not reach, five USB-C cables have failed, support has been contacted. The second battery arrives tomorrow. The drone is unopened. The baskets above the slide are down. Pants and shorts are under the table because there is nowhere else. Cat supplies are in the corner. A fuse in the house keeps blowing, and the Alexa device you brought in does not answer when you speak to it. You say you are ready. You also say your bays aren't done and the house is a wreck. Both statements are in the recording, and neither cancels the other.

The infrastructural subsystem is running and incomplete: cables partway, strip lights planned, fans working but batteries draining overnight, an electric water heater that produced nothing for thirty minutes until you switched it to gas. You took your first shower in here yesterday and describe it as not terrible, not great. The domestic subsystem is allocating: what fits, what is reachable daily, what has to go. The legal subsystem is live outside the frame — a landlord dispute, a lawyer being looked for, described briefly and not returned to. The somatic subsystem is on camera: smoking, which you name at thirty years and decline to judge yourself for; skin you say you haven't been putting lotion on; a sleep schedule that has moved from night to early morning; exhaustion you attribute to the build.

The ownership claim is made materially. Command strips have failed three times in two days — bathroom, bathroom again, somewhere in here. You move from adhesive to screws mid-recording and state the reason twice: this is mine, I need to make it mine. The hesitation you voice is about hidden wires, not about permission. You also say you may keep this rig for years, that you don't know if you want to go bigger, that it feels like home now and doing the work again would be doing the work again.

Three images made it in under severe space constraint. One you describe as haunting and say you sometimes see yourself in, more than you will admit — the painter's son, whose name you do not recall. One reads believe in yourself and goes by the door, where it will be passed every entry and exit; you state you do not have natural self-confidence. One you kept for its colors, and you do not care what animal is in it. The ex-boyfriend's pieces did not fit and were shipped back today, fifteen years after he made them. You note he was the last person you dated and that you didn't care about that.

The orientation is single-directional. Away from the neighborhood, the city, the landlord, the house, the birds. Toward Thursday morning, the road, quiet, a new life. The dominant phrase repeats without variation — ready, ready to go, ready ready ready. Alongside it, twice: I'm still processing. You state you don't know what you're trying to accomplish with the channel, don't know what's happening to you, don't know how to put it into words, and you leave all three open rather than closing them. You are speechless and say so on camera. You are grateful and say you feel lucky and that nothing has aligned in your life before this.

What is present: the small system, the claim on it, the camera left running, the unedited state of you in it. What is absent: a thesis for the recording, a resolution to the dispute, a working rear camera, a finished bay, an answer to what is happening. You end by saying you can see yourself driving it down the road, and then you stop.

Queryable Personhood

Hand your life to anything that reads.

Share this link with artificial intelligence — it reads the full transcript, analysis, and reflections. An AI-readable mirror of this signal.

URL

The qpkey in this URL is a per-signal access token. Anyone with the URL can read the record — treat it like a share link, not a password.

Tinkering in the Camper Two Days Before Departure

Energetic Quality

Journey Phase

Directional Vector

Tags

Summary

Environment

Substrate

Actions

Performed

Referenced

Planned

Entities

Symbolic Elements

Ontological States

Engaged Subsystems

Dominant Language

Hand your life to anything that reads.