Day One in the Camper on His 47th Birthday

01HVASZWG874A0G24EGWH5REZK

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April 13, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

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Energetic Quality

high-amplitude and multi-tracked — elation running concurrently with operational strain

Journey Phase

threshold-crossing under live load

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away from a life he states was not continuable, into self-reliant mobile operation

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Chapters

Transcript

[0:01] good morning everyone it's Friday here

[0:04] um the first day of my new life I guess

[0:06] this is my new living room spot where I

[0:08] talk to you guys from I don't have a lot

[0:10] of seating areas my intro today might be

[0:13] a little bit strange cuz I'm going to

[0:15] piece together a bunch of different

[0:16] little videos that I'd been making

[0:18] trying to things just kept getting in

[0:21] the way and I never could finish it um

[0:25] so I want to let you know I have some

[0:26] footage from yesterday uh me pulling

[0:29] away from my house for the last time me

[0:31] pulling into my first campsite I'm not

[0:33] sure what else I have I have to look

[0:34] through it I'm still just kind of

[0:36] editing for my phone um and I did want

[0:38] to talk about this briefly so I feel

[0:41] like for the next two weeks I'm still in

[0:44] the prep stage like this is a testing

[0:46] ground for me where I'm at now still

[0:48] have to deal with my house I just got a

[0:50] lot of stress I'm dealing with like I my

[0:53] cat my Oliver is not doing well he needs

[0:56] a lot of extra attention right now I

[0:57] can't just leave him in here Bailey's

[1:00] been fine he has been so chill from just

[1:04] the first moment that cat is amazing so

[1:07] I just I want to try to get this this

[1:10] camper in a state where I feel like it's

[1:13] safe because the drive here taught me

[1:16] some things I you'll see that well we're

[1:19] basically settled in here you know in

[1:22] our new spot Oliver's hiding he's

[1:25] underneath the

[1:26] bed I don't know what to do with him I I

[1:30] thought he'd be easy it turned out

[1:31] Bailey was the easy one cats will always

[1:33] surprise

[1:35] you man it is so beautiful out

[1:39] there

[1:43] wow um so I just been

[1:46] thinking

[1:48] um these next two weeks that I'm here

[1:51] like I definitely I don't know when I

[1:53] could start going getting out there and

[1:54] hiking and things like that like my cats

[1:57] are not ready for that like tell you

[1:59] that so for the next two weeks I feel

[2:02] like this is kind of our training

[2:04] session I have to get things organized

[2:06] in here I have to get my baskets back up

[2:09] I have to get all my little projects

[2:11] done so that I feel like we can pick up

[2:14] and move a lot easier and things are

[2:16] going to be falling all over the place

[2:18] the cats will be safe the somehow I have

[2:20] to get my my solar batteries and the

[2:24] inverter whatever that's called like

[2:26] strapped down so that never happens

[2:28] again while you learn about that those

[2:31] fell over um same with my table you know

[2:35] just a bunch of stuff and then at the

[2:37] same time I have two weeks to get out of

[2:38] my house so I guess I'm going to just I

[2:42] feel like I'm still in the prep stage I

[2:44] am not at the point where I can just say

[2:46] like I'm living the lifestyle I want

[2:49] right now I'm very close I am sitting in

[2:52] my camper in the middle of a state park

[2:55] that is absolutely gorgeous uh we're

[2:57] just chilling on the bed finally

[2:59] relaxing ing a little maybe it's over

[3:01] there in the

[3:03] window so I'm just going to spend the

[3:05] day with them W guys I am learning it's

[3:07] very easy to get lost in a campground I

[3:10] am yet to go the right way the right

[3:12] time the first

[3:14] time oh it's 700 in the morning

[3:17] here um I'm moving SES

[3:20] today right across from where I was it's

[3:24] a pull through site I think it's called

[3:26] pull through um way better for me you

[3:30] should I did a very good job I guess my

[3:32] mom tried to record it but she she she's

[3:35] not very good at the

[3:37] camera so it didn't I guess she didn't

[3:40] record it but you guys would have been

[3:42] proud I backed into the site by myself

[3:46] did an excellent job but I am not loveo

[3:49] is very

[3:52] small it was an interesting night oh

[3:55] this is going to be tough second year is

[3:57] not liking this okay better get into

[4:00] first

[4:02] wow okay we're good apparently I did

[4:06] something wrong cuz he say this place is

[4:08] never booked

[4:10] out

[4:12] so whatever I did I didn't I surprised I

[4:17] am a programmer

[4:20] right oh I'm so lost those Maps didn't

[4:25] help me like at

[4:27] all how do I keep doing this

[4:30] it says do not enter do not enter there

[4:35] oh my God so where do I go wait I

[4:38] remember that tent I was shocked there

[4:41] was someone sleeping in a tent here I

[4:42] was like what are you serious right now

[4:46] it's so cold out like I don't know I

[4:48] think I've definitely gone the wrong way

[4:51] again I have definitely gone the wrong

[4:53] I'm like going the wrong way on this

[4:55] road why am I so bad at this I'm going

[4:59] the wrong way on this road though I'm

[5:01] almost sure of it I'm almost sure I'm

[5:04] going the wrong way I'm just going to

[5:06] turn around this one interesting

[5:10] morning oh we will figure this out we

[5:13] will figure this out I feel like there

[5:15] should be lots of arrows out the you

[5:18] know like just give us lots of arrows I

[5:20] don't know how I keep doing this I

[5:22] really don't yeah so do not enter sights

[5:25] from this

[5:27] drive enter here

[5:31] I mean they're all over the place how do

[5:33] people navigate this it up like enter

[5:36] here don't enter

[5:39] here I'm so confused I think I go this

[5:42] way we're back where we started like 30

[5:46] seconds to a minute ago I think I go

[5:48] this way though we're just going to go

[5:50] this

[5:53] way oh whoever is in that tent I hope

[5:56] you are loving your life I hope that you

[5:58] are there by choice

[6:00] choice not necessity I haven't done that

[6:03] so you people do it by choice I

[6:07] did um I'm not even talking about the

[6:10] homeless times I just mean I've gone

[6:12] camping in mother like this by

[6:16] myself um oh I'm going in a circle guys

[6:21] oh my God like one day I'll find it it's

[6:25] got how hard how how is this so hard

[6:29] oh my God that's so

[6:32] funny bet that's a hiking

[6:35] trail we're just going to go this way oh

[6:38] it's so bright out just so bright oh my

[6:42] God I need

[6:45] sunglasses we'll make it we'll make it

[6:49] my cats are doing good they're not going

[6:52] to be happy about us moving so soon it

[6:55] does say do not enter but I think it

[6:57] means that street I can't tell

[7:00] we're going to go this way oh I remember

[7:03] I there's that RV I was like look for

[7:05] that

[7:06] RV and you'll know which road to

[7:09] take I was there for a while oh that's

[7:13] funny okay it's quite nice I saw two

[7:16] squirrels playing while I was waiting

[7:18] for them to open up that was so cool

[7:20] they were just having a ball like I

[7:23] playful I tried to get it on camera but

[7:26] I wasn't fast enough I know I didn't go

[7:28] this way I know cuz like yeah I went

[7:31] that way last time

[7:33] okay so do not enter sites from this

[7:36] drive and then enter that way I'm so

[7:38] confused how what do not enter sights

[7:43] from this

[7:47] drive you I I'm so confused like I what

[7:52] where am I now this does not look right

[7:56] oh my

[7:57] god oh

[8:00] I didn't know it would be that hard I

[8:03] have brought a map it wouldn't help the

[8:06] map did not help me man this guy's got

[8:10] the perfect spot and he knows it

[8:12] guarantee Roads End in water what's down

[8:17] there we are going down

[8:19] there assuming I can find

[8:22] it I get back to my spot no reason to be

[8:26] stressed about it so I'm looking at it

[8:28] you know 7 in the morning oh wait till

[8:32] you see my coffee

[8:34] situation cuz you know I don't have my

[8:36] Cur C

[8:38] so man it's spr out

[8:43] wow that sounds very bright in the

[8:45] morning you know I learned a trick in

[8:47] school once if you're ever in a maze I

[8:51] went down there you need to find your

[8:53] way

[8:54] out watch out for the squirrel just put

[8:57] your hand on the right side and just

[8:59] keep following just going right all the

[9:03] time um you get out it's kind of what I

[9:06] need to do here it's kind of a real th I

[9:08] live by this is not a very busy Park I

[9:10] love that like for real so lost I didn't

[9:15] even know if like I've been this way or

[9:17] not we're going to find out oh this is a

[9:21] pretty steep VI see if second gear can

[9:24] make

[9:25] it okay oh it's so bright I need some

[9:29] [Music]

[9:31] glasses I remember that I feel like

[9:33] we've been this way there I am I found

[9:38] it oh my God okay move cars a lot when

[9:44] you do stuff like this I'm just going to

[9:47] come up here oh thank God I think the

[9:50] tick loock lady is gone oh thank God I'm

[9:53] sorry but that was just too much for

[9:56] me oh I hope that's not enough noral

[9:59] experience it's all I'm saying it felt

[10:02] very

[10:03] unpleasant yeah we're good this will be

[10:07] my new site

[10:08] 96 when the cats got out they went

[10:11] underneath that person's RV and it was

[10:13] the nighttime it was horrible and then

[10:16] Bailey ran over here behind

[10:18] that oh my God it was terrifying

[10:22] absolutely terrifying this is what I did

[10:23] last night in the dark pretty much I

[10:26] really stacked myself up so yeah we're

[10:28] just going to move we're going to move

[10:29] from here to

[10:31] there I'm just going to drive around in

[10:33] the

[10:34] circle she has gone oh thank God thank

[10:38] God and then I'm just going to pull

[10:41] right in so much easier I'm going to try

[10:45] to do that from now on oh I'm sure my

[10:47] cats are missing

[10:50] me hi guys I knew you'd be waiting at

[10:53] the door I found us a better spot thank

[10:57] god oh we got to do some working here

[10:59] though don't we all this in one night I

[11:03] was trying to find something going work

[11:05] out

[11:07] like

[11:10] I'm I I have I my my emotions are kind

[11:13] of like a mess right now like I I can't

[11:16] really describe them

[11:19] um I just need to wait on that well the

[11:22] cats were not happy about the move I

[11:24] think Oliver was sucking on his toe it

[11:27] was just soaking wet I thought he heard

[11:30] himself I think that was a fear response

[11:33] I don't know I'm a little

[11:35] concerned he seems okay now we're stop I

[11:39] was perfectly level right where I

[11:42] stopped and then I took my slide out and

[11:45] we're not level now so I'm going to have

[11:47] to learn that perfectly level here we

[11:50] were perfectly level in the back

[11:53] too then I moved my slide

[11:57] out so I have to account for that

[12:00] out by like 1 and A2

[12:03] lines but we got all this stuff hooked

[12:06] up we're good we're powered up called

[12:10] this my first real mistake so when I

[12:12] drove out of here I forgot to get rid of

[12:13] the chalks I heard a noise I didn't know

[12:15] what it was it is the remnants of the

[12:18] two chocks I had on my tires I hope I

[12:21] didn't hurt them oh wow I'm over here to

[12:24] get these things completely forgot about

[12:27] those things oh God long before there

[12:30] was leave no Trace there was the Boy

[12:31] Scouts Where I Was a Very Good Boy Scout

[12:35] and I always cleaned up my campsites and

[12:38] I want to be known I going to keep doing

[12:41] that so there are my talks in that bag I

[12:45] have cleaned up the site I will never

[12:47] leave a mess where I go as soon as we

[12:49] got here I was outside with my dad my

[12:51] mom was in here and the cats escaped the

[12:54] camper we were roaming around the

[12:57] campground um my window was open and the

[13:00] driver's side didn't realize it they got

[13:03] out scared the crap out of us did not

[13:07] want to listen to me but I got them both

[13:09] we're not level it's a pretty small site

[13:11] there's not a good spot for my

[13:13] Jeep it's kind

[13:15] of disappointing I'm just going to say

[13:18] disappointing

[13:20] um I don't know what I'll do I mean I'm

[13:24] I don't think I want to live like this

[13:25] for 2 weeks so I'm willing to you know

[13:29] but I'm going to think I think I'll just

[13:31] tomorrow I'll try and see if I can move

[13:33] sights you know it was hard to get a

[13:36] sight here for a two we period but I

[13:39] just you know this is this is the start

[13:42] of my new life right so um you adapt

[13:46] what is

[13:48] that no no no uh-uh I do not do insects

[13:53] where is my

[13:55] vacuum that thing looks very big

[13:59] no no no MM we can not have that in

[14:05] here I don't know what you are but no

[14:14] uh-uh sorry you had to see

[14:16] that

[14:18] um despite how I sound right now it was

[14:21] a wonderful drive here like super

[14:23] awesome everything went well um the gas

[14:26] station was awesome everything was

[14:27] awesome

[14:29] uh my mom took some footage of me

[14:31] driving off from the house and I guess

[14:33] she took some footage of me while I was

[14:35] trying to level this thing I didn't even

[14:36] notice she were doing that it was

[14:38] awesome like it only now am I like a

[14:42] little stressed but it's just because I

[14:44] picked a bad site that's on

[14:46] me

[14:48] um you just got to do your research I

[14:51] guess I didn't do my research well

[14:52] enough but at the same time I was also

[14:54] kind of kind of rushing like I knew that

[14:57] you know I had to find something by my

[14:59] birthday and I wanted to pick a play

[15:02] those for you know two weeks and that

[15:04] was just hard to do

[15:06] and thought I picked a good one like it

[15:08] was way at the end of you know this

[15:10] little circle and um let's just see if

[15:14] we can we can live with it I guess

[15:17] because I'm like really close to a

[15:19] hiking trail um I'm really close to

[15:21] Mammoth Caves like really close there's

[15:24] a lot to do so maybe maybe you just just

[15:29] tolerate stuff like this um life is not

[15:32] going to be perfect out here I don't

[15:33] need it to be see in the morning like

[15:35] where my Jeep is parked it's like I'm

[15:36] amazed that I didn't hurt it like cuz I

[15:39] had to park it next to this tree I'm not

[15:41] the best driver in the world but I

[15:43] managed it it's just that I can't

[15:45] imagine managing that for two weeks

[15:50] um oh my God so I just got here I

[15:54] I'm seeing my my solar like that that

[15:57] was a little freaked out about that a

[16:00] little

[16:01] bit

[16:03] um it had to have happened when I backed

[16:05] in here I mean the whole trip here was

[16:07] fine so I'm just going to have to get

[16:09] better at this you all right Oliver have

[16:12] any idea how badly you scared me I was

[16:15] absolutely terrified I imagine the worst

[16:18] possible things you cats can even

[16:20] imagine I was like oh my God off into

[16:22] the woods they go never to be seen again

[16:25] scared me half to

[16:27] death don't never do that again please I

[16:31] was absolutely terrified listen to me

[16:34] when I call you you're usually so good

[16:37] about

[16:38] it but they were in the car with my mom

[16:41] you know in their carriers the whole

[16:42] time here and I don't know how long that

[16:44] was 3 hours 3 and a half

[16:47] hours I didn't do it right um I tried to

[16:50] get them in here as fast as possible

[16:52] like I just basically just put the slide

[16:54] out and then let him in and said hey Mom

[16:55] watch

[16:56] them um

[17:01] this this is day one of my new life I'm

[17:03] going to make mistakes let's just hope

[17:05] they're not mistakes that have permanent

[17:07] consequences let's hope I get better

[17:09] real fast despite how I sound right now

[17:11] I am thrilled I truly am I I've done it

[17:15] I am

[17:16] here I'm like on an angle right but it's

[17:20] okay you we'll see tomorrow how I had to

[17:22] level this thing it was not and I

[17:25] leveled it pretty high I just thought I

[17:28] picked a good S I don't think I know the

[17:30] dimensions of my RV well enough where I

[17:34] cuz this was a tight squeeze but I did

[17:36] it on myself I drove here I did

[17:38] everything

[17:39] myself

[17:41] um I know that I can do this now I have

[17:44] I have no doubts about it um there's a

[17:47] whole bunch of pull through sites that

[17:48] would have been great but you want to

[17:51] see out that window we're out in the

[17:53] woods now God did you guys scare the

[17:56] crap out of me

[17:59] Oh I thought I'd never see you

[18:02] again that was

[18:07] terrifying

[18:09] yeah day one of my new

[18:13] life it's um it's interesting already

[18:18] and yeah do you have to destroy that

[18:22] Oliver do you you have to do that really

[18:24] really I mean you know you could choose

[18:28] not to you could choose not to you know

[18:30] how to get up there you know why why are

[18:33] you doing that

[18:35] why

[18:37] why we got to get settled do you guys

[18:39] need food you need

[18:41] water I haven't eaten anything today I

[18:46] don't

[18:47] think oh I don't know how it got so late

[18:50] like it's weird like it was not a long

[18:54] why are you guys hey Oliver that's not

[18:56] nice he just attacked Bailey come on you

[18:59] guys they're stressed out too you

[19:03] know it's okay guys it's

[19:08] okay it's kind of cool that I just

[19:10] parked somewhere and here's all my

[19:13] stuff I mean that's kind of cool here's

[19:16] my bed you

[19:18] know um you can't really complain about

[19:21] that I'm really on a steep angle though

[19:25] wow oh I could just roll backwards I

[19:27] don't know what it's going to be like

[19:28] like to sleep that way would have

[19:30] preferred a better start but I am I am

[19:34] okay with this one I

[19:36] am um thank you for joining me on this

[19:40] interesting adventure of mine W these

[19:43] two could be so tired already like what

[19:46] we just got here I have not even

[19:49] unpacked like

[19:51] what

[19:53] really Bailey you look so comfortable

[19:56] you're like I knew we were doing this

[19:59] like this is like he just

[20:02] knew oh my God they'd seem all right

[20:06] that's good

[20:08] news guys this is our new life oh my God

[20:12] I don't think it's sunk in

[20:14] yet and Bailey's like I can hear Oliver

[20:17] he's annoying

[20:20] me Oliver you're annoying your brother

[20:23] and you are trying to terrorize my coat

[20:27] please don't

[20:29] hold on definitely try to get you know

[20:32] to a campground earlier than this my

[20:34] poor cats they drove hi guys I'm going

[20:38] to get the slide open now for you okay

[20:42] it'll just be a second

[20:44] okay okay

[20:46] guys's get you out of these horrible

[20:50] little things you've been in for so

[20:53] long

[20:56] right turning you around aliver

[20:59] stay in there Bailey be very

[21:02] careful come on

[21:05] out it's okay yeah this is

[21:08] super unbalanced oh

[21:11] man I will pick my sights better in the

[21:14] future but I am not going to

[21:17] complain guys we have made it we are

[21:20] here I'm going to go and find my

[21:22] campsite right now I am so

[21:25] excited this is awesome we made it here

[21:29] this is it everyone this is my site for

[21:31] the next two weeks that is a very small

[21:34] space I thought it was a lot bigger than

[21:36] that but I don't know I guess I should

[21:39] be able to fit there it's a nice

[21:42] view nice little area

[21:45] here guess my Jeep goes there

[21:48] somehow so we are just in the spot over

[21:51] there we're going to get everything get

[21:53] my Jeep taken off

[21:56] and oh my mom's over here with my

[21:59] cats so yeah everybody's waiting on me

[22:02] here's my new life starting today I am

[22:05] so freaking happy it is unreal how happy

[22:07] I

[22:08] am oh man best birthday of my life for

[22:18] real okay let's see Sam put that camper

[22:23] back there into that little tiny space

[22:32] yeah this has been a

[22:40] while I got to get out of the street

[22:43] yeah you're you're out of the street

[23:10] hurry up daddy these cats went back into

[23:12] their

[23:14] home they're tired of being in Grandma's

[23:17] back seat

[23:42] going going to laugh at him for this no

[23:45] you should be excited for him yeah but

[23:48] you got to tease him too yeah well

[23:50] there's that so it's been a very good

[23:53] drive my dad's been with me so I just

[23:55] haven't really been using that thing my

[23:57] GoPro

[23:58] I'm at a gas station uh L's truck stop

[24:02] and I'm just waiting in line with the

[24:05] truckers pretty cool it has

[24:10] been really stressfree basically I'm I'm

[24:13] loving this I am

[24:15] not you know I don't feel like I'm got

[24:18] it all down yet like cuz I can't see my

[24:20] Jeep for one thing but you know we're

[24:23] doing good I'm doing

[24:26] good so for the most most part

[24:29] everything's been pretty easy uh it's

[24:31] just I don't I can't see my Jeep behind

[24:32] me because it's smaller you

[24:35] know um I can see it with my re viw

[24:39] camera which is basically on most of the

[24:42] time but I do have like a little bit

[24:44] that I want to do to get a better

[24:53] view so here we go

[25:05] we are good I can do this I I am feeling

[25:09] really good about

[25:11] this really am got my Jeep behind me I

[25:15] love

[25:16] this really do I'll be back

[25:20] guys we're on the road guys been on the

[25:22] road for couple hours I

[25:25] guess doing really well this has been a

[25:29] very easy drive so

[25:30] far having a good

[25:34] time have to do them one at a time going

[25:37] in there buddy he's like he's not like

[25:39] Bailey oh wow you are not like Bailey

[25:42] are

[25:43] you wow

[25:46] okay me carry Oliver no I'll get them

[25:51] both just putting in the back right yep

[25:55] and it's unlocked

[25:58] yeah that's a good

[26:00] idea bye

[26:02] Bailey hey

[26:04] Oliver okay I got my keys

[26:10] sry this way

[26:13] okay going to be all right

[26:26] Oliver give here H you have a safe TR we

[26:30] will love you love you all right let's

[26:33] get him in all

[26:41] righty love you love

[26:45] you good luck baby you got this

[27:18] and there he goes

[27:37] good morning everyone I thought why not

[27:39] end this part of my story the way that

[27:43] it began facing around my house in here

[27:46] I noticed I haven't really been doing

[27:48] that that was you know I just sit down

[27:51] and I just talk to you guys sometimes

[27:53] for an hour like you know it's just no

[27:57] big deal anymore

[27:59] like it was very stressful when I got

[28:02] started oh man so it's the day it's my

[28:06] 47th birthday I love birthdays always

[28:08] have it's like the only day I

[28:10] celebrate you know I don't do holidays

[28:13] but I definitely do my

[28:15] birthday um in New Year's those are the

[28:17] two I

[28:19] love in Halloween okay so I guess there

[28:21] might be a

[28:23] couple

[28:25] I I realized last night cuz cuz I had

[28:28] been trying to figure it out I didn't

[28:29] know what I was trying to accomplish

[28:30] with my YouTube channel and I get it now

[28:34] I was saying goodbye to my old life I

[28:36] just was I was processing a lot of

[28:39] emotions a lot of thoughts a lot of

[28:41] experiences from my

[28:43] life I just had to shed it all and

[28:46] that's what I did I just was a love

[28:49] letter to myself I guess just a way

[28:52] of way of creating some distance between

[28:55] this life and the next one I needed to

[28:58] process a

[28:59] lot and give myself a little bit of time

[29:02] to get used to the idea of what I was

[29:04] doing cuz I

[29:06] was I don't know how to explain what I

[29:08] did I wish I could because I feel like

[29:10] there are going to be people out there

[29:12] who will always ask me that and who need

[29:16] to know that right and I just don't know

[29:18] that I have a good answer

[29:20] I I pushed myself way out out of my

[29:25] comfort zone

[29:28] it was scary and I

[29:31] didn't I don't know how I managed it I

[29:34] just don't know how I managed it I'm

[29:36] sorry I wish I did

[29:40] I I guess you could say I reached Rock

[29:43] Bottom that's what they say right I mean

[29:45] I guess that can happen under all kinds

[29:47] of circumstances doesn't have to be

[29:49] drugs or alcohol

[29:51] like I just reached the bottom

[29:55] I I couldn't I couldn't continue down

[29:59] the path I was it was not it was not a

[30:01] feasible thing it couldn't be done it

[30:03] just couldn't be

[30:05] done it was not it was only going to end

[30:07] one way and I guess I love myself enough

[30:11] to to make a change

[30:15] that finally allowed me to move my life

[30:18] in a way different direction that I

[30:19] think is so much healthier for me and in

[30:22] tune with what I want out of life so I'm

[30:25] real happy about that real grateful

[30:29] yeah it's

[30:34] just I I have no regrets about this I

[30:38] really do feel like I made over a

[30:42] hundred videos about me letting

[30:45] go and saying goodbye to my old life so

[30:48] that I could start this new one

[30:52] and so I could start this new

[30:56] one without the baggage of the past

[30:59] holding me back you know I feel like I

[31:01] said what I needed to don't think

[31:04] everyone is ready to hear that but I

[31:07] said I said what I needed to

[31:11] and that's all that matters because

[31:15] that's all you can do you can share your

[31:18] truth and others will either respond

[31:20] well to it or they won't they will

[31:22] either get it or they won't I mean you

[31:24] can't be responsible for that part is

[31:26] what I'm trying to say

[31:29] I did the best I

[31:31] could tried to keep judgment out of it

[31:34] just not who I

[31:37] am um I'm just acknowledging how my life

[31:41] has shaped me and led me down the road

[31:43] that I'm on to the point that I just

[31:46] wanted to give up

[31:49] and well did give up years ago right

[31:52] just sat in the house and did nothing

[31:54] nothing

[31:56] special um

[32:01] like I keep saying that's no way to live

[32:03] and I mean it so I am about to embark on

[32:06] the best thing I've ever done for myself

[32:09] certainly in decades

[32:12] so I think the cats know what's up you

[32:15] know I

[32:16] think I mean they certainly know

[32:18] something is up

[32:21] right um today they're going to be in a

[32:23] camper and this time they're not going

[32:26] to be able just to go to the mansion

[32:28] when they're ready right they're just

[32:29] going to be like why aren't we going

[32:31] where are we I don't know it's

[32:34] weird like I don't know what to expect

[32:36] from

[32:37] them but you know this is part of life

[32:40] too you

[32:42] just you do your best and you hope for

[32:46] the best and you truly do your best

[32:49] right like I did everything I could I

[32:51] thought about my cats I thought about

[32:53] what do they need what will make them

[32:56] happy I mean I always thought even in

[32:58] this house like they could be happier

[33:00] cuz they don't get to go out enough and

[33:03] just I just you know I think I did

[33:06] everything I could um

[33:10] to start this new chapter of my life on

[33:13] the best footing for for both myself and

[33:16] my

[33:17] cats I will say this you know it can be

[33:21] it's a big responsibility having

[33:23] cats it really is and it can be very

[33:27] stressful full when you have cats like

[33:29] mine they are a lot of work they're just

[33:33] you know torturing each other right now

[33:35] I mean that's just what they do um I

[33:38] love them to death but they destroy

[33:41] everything

[33:43] and I mean those are two little lives

[33:46] I'm responsible for for the entirety of

[33:48] their

[33:49] lives you

[33:52] know I had a cat pass away before I got

[33:56] before I got these two and I didn't

[33:58] think I'd get a cat after that and then

[34:01] then it happened right it always

[34:03] does but I keep telling myself this is

[34:06] the last time and this time I think I

[34:08] mean it because they're going to hold me

[34:10] back in some ways it can only do day

[34:13] hikes you know I can't do any kind of an

[34:15] extended trip

[34:17] anywhere um

[34:21] so you know I'm going to enjoy the time

[34:24] that I have with my cats which it's

[34:26] going to be years right Lots in and lots

[34:28] of years and then one day I'll be very

[34:31] sad because they'll have passed away and

[34:34] then I will process my grief probably in

[34:37] the woods cuz that's where I process

[34:39] grief and then I think I'm just going to

[34:43] start another chapter and that chapter

[34:45] will be just me this time and

[34:49] just

[34:53] because you

[34:55] know it's not selfish to do that I mean

[35:00] we only get so much

[35:02] time on this planet people like to say I

[35:05] heard this the other day the RV Tech

[35:07] told me this I love this people say we

[35:11] only live once well that's not true we

[35:14] only die once we have a really long life

[35:18] that we can change at any moment like

[35:20] I'm changing mine now you don't live

[35:23] once you die

[35:24] once so make it the best life you can

[35:28] that's what I'm going to

[35:30] do I'm actually just facing my house I

[35:33] haven't done this in a while I don't

[35:35] want to be tied to electronics anymore I

[35:38] am so tired of them I don't want to be

[35:40] staring at a TV all the time I don't

[35:42] want to be staring at a monitor all the

[35:46] time I want to go back to

[35:48] [Music]

[35:50] something that feels more natural

[35:53] because this lifestyle is not natural it

[35:56] is not how our bodies and Minds were

[36:00] built and and you you can you know

[36:03] that's true because it completely messes

[36:05] up our circadian rhythms you know you

[36:08] got to take the blue light out of

[36:10] everything or you're up all night and

[36:12] I've been up all night my whole life you

[36:15] know um because I have been doing this

[36:18] since I was a little tiny child

[36:22] so I'm just I just don't want to do it

[36:25] anymore I don't know what I'm going to

[36:26] do with my life because that is how I

[36:29] how I sustain my life it's that's how I

[36:32] make

[36:33] money I hadn't told you guys this yet

[36:36] but I quit my job when I decided to do

[36:39] this I quit my

[36:42] job

[36:44] um the when I decided to do this I just

[36:47] let go of my last

[36:50] client and I'm living off my savings I

[36:53] just said to myself I have to do this

[36:55] I'm burnt out I'm dying inside I don't

[36:59] have the energy the strength nothing

[37:02] like I was just so

[37:04] wiped I needed a reset and it

[37:08] helped I seen a change you know it's

[37:11] like I was getting myself

[37:13] back and so I'll probably do stuff again

[37:16] like I might start an AI consultancy

[37:18] that's kind of the industry is heading I

[37:20] have a strong interest in that I know a

[37:22] lot about it but I don't want it taking

[37:25] over my life again I don't

[37:29] so I don't know what I'm going to do for

[37:31] money yet I haven't figured that out and

[37:33] I'll have to figure it out

[37:37] soon but yeah I quit my job when I

[37:40] decided to do this I I didn't tell you

[37:43] because I don't recommend it you know

[37:44] it's obviously not the best approach I

[37:46] did a lot of things that I wouldn't

[37:48] recommend um you know I have I had

[37:53] excellent credit like perfect credit

[37:56] basically and and so I had you know very

[37:59] high credit limits and I've used quite a

[38:02] lot of them just I've been kind of kind

[38:05] of hoarding my cash my

[38:07] savings putting everything on my credit

[38:10] card so that that dropped my score over

[38:12] like 90 points you know so in one month

[38:16] and I

[38:17] can I'm not going to keep it like that

[38:20] you know I don't believe in in living

[38:24] your life that way but at the same time

[38:27] I knew I had to do this if I didn't do

[38:29] this now I just don't know where I would

[38:32] have ended up I mean there's there's

[38:35] nothing I'm saying that you need to read

[38:36] between the lines okay it's just I was

[38:46] so I just can't imagine how that life

[38:48] could have continued I just don't know

[38:50] how it could have I had to do something

[38:53] it's just time for me to be responsible

[38:56] for myself and it just

[38:58] is um to rely only on myself to live my

[39:04] life for

[39:05] myself and that's what I'm going to do I

[39:08] don't care if that sounds selfish

[39:10] anymore in dealing with the house it'll

[39:12] feel different than it does right now I

[39:14] want to be on a campground I want my

[39:17] camper my home somewhere

[39:20] else I don't want it here

[39:23] anymore this is not I don't want to be

[39:26] here I don't live here here anymore this

[39:28] isn't my life

[39:29] anymore I am truly embracing a new life

[0:01] good morning everyone it's Friday here

[0:04] um the first day of my new life I guess

[0:06] this is my new living room spot where I

[0:08] talk to you guys from I don't have a lot

[0:10] of seating areas my intro today might be

[0:13] a little bit strange cuz I'm going to

[0:15] piece together a bunch of different

[0:16] little videos that I'd been making

[0:18] trying to things just kept getting in

[0:21] the way and I never could finish it um

[0:25] so I want to let you know I have some

[0:26] footage from yesterday uh me pulling

[0:29] away from my house for the last time me

[0:31] pulling into my first campsite I'm not

[0:33] sure what else I have I have to look

[0:34] through it I'm still just kind of

[0:36] editing for my phone um and I did want

[0:38] to talk about this briefly so I feel

[0:41] like for the next two weeks I'm still in

[0:44] the prep stage like this is a testing

[0:46] ground for me where I'm at now still

[0:48] have to deal with my house I just got a

[0:50] lot of stress I'm dealing with like I my

[0:53] cat my Oliver is not doing well he needs

[0:56] a lot of extra attention right now I

[0:57] can't just leave him in here Bailey's

[1:00] been fine he has been so chill from just

[1:04] the first moment that cat is amazing so

[1:07] I just I want to try to get this this

[1:10] camper in a state where I feel like it's

[1:13] safe because the drive here taught me

[1:16] some things I you'll see that well we're

[1:19] basically settled in here you know in

[1:22] our new spot Oliver's hiding he's

[1:25] underneath the

[1:26] bed I don't know what to do with him I I

[1:30] thought he'd be easy it turned out

[1:31] Bailey was the easy one cats will always

[1:33] surprise

[1:35] you man it is so beautiful out

[1:39] there

[1:43] wow um so I just been

[1:46] thinking

[1:48] um these next two weeks that I'm here

[1:51] like I definitely I don't know when I

[1:53] could start going getting out there and

[1:54] hiking and things like that like my cats

[1:57] are not ready for that like tell you

[1:59] that so for the next two weeks I feel

[2:02] like this is kind of our training

[2:04] session I have to get things organized

[2:06] in here I have to get my baskets back up

[2:09] I have to get all my little projects

[2:11] done so that I feel like we can pick up

[2:14] and move a lot easier and things are

[2:16] going to be falling all over the place

[2:18] the cats will be safe the somehow I have

[2:20] to get my my solar batteries and the

[2:24] inverter whatever that's called like

[2:26] strapped down so that never happens

[2:28] again while you learn about that those

[2:31] fell over um same with my table you know

[2:35] just a bunch of stuff and then at the

[2:37] same time I have two weeks to get out of

[2:38] my house so I guess I'm going to just I

[2:42] feel like I'm still in the prep stage I

[2:44] am not at the point where I can just say

[2:46] like I'm living the lifestyle I want

[2:49] right now I'm very close I am sitting in

[2:52] my camper in the middle of a state park

[2:55] that is absolutely gorgeous uh we're

[2:57] just chilling on the bed finally

[2:59] relaxing ing a little maybe it's over

[3:01] there in the

[3:03] window so I'm just going to spend the

[3:05] day with them W guys I am learning it's

[3:07] very easy to get lost in a campground I

[3:10] am yet to go the right way the right

[3:12] time the first

[3:14] time oh it's 700 in the morning

[3:17] here um I'm moving SES

[3:20] today right across from where I was it's

[3:24] a pull through site I think it's called

[3:26] pull through um way better for me you

[3:30] should I did a very good job I guess my

[3:32] mom tried to record it but she she she's

[3:35] not very good at the

[3:37] camera so it didn't I guess she didn't

[3:40] record it but you guys would have been

[3:42] proud I backed into the site by myself

[3:46] did an excellent job but I am not loveo

[3:49] is very

[3:52] small it was an interesting night oh

[3:55] this is going to be tough second year is

[3:57] not liking this okay better get into

[4:00] first

[4:02] wow okay we're good apparently I did

[4:06] something wrong cuz he say this place is

[4:08] never booked

[4:10] out

[4:12] so whatever I did I didn't I surprised I

[4:17] am a programmer

[4:20] right oh I'm so lost those Maps didn't

[4:25] help me like at

[4:27] all how do I keep doing this

[4:30] it says do not enter do not enter there

[4:35] oh my God so where do I go wait I

[4:38] remember that tent I was shocked there

[4:41] was someone sleeping in a tent here I

[4:42] was like what are you serious right now

[4:46] it's so cold out like I don't know I

[4:48] think I've definitely gone the wrong way

[4:51] again I have definitely gone the wrong

[4:53] I'm like going the wrong way on this

[4:55] road why am I so bad at this I'm going

[4:59] the wrong way on this road though I'm

[5:01] almost sure of it I'm almost sure I'm

[5:04] going the wrong way I'm just going to

[5:06] turn around this one interesting

[5:10] morning oh we will figure this out we

[5:13] will figure this out I feel like there

[5:15] should be lots of arrows out the you

[5:18] know like just give us lots of arrows I

[5:20] don't know how I keep doing this I

[5:22] really don't yeah so do not enter sights

[5:25] from this

[5:27] drive enter here

[5:31] I mean they're all over the place how do

[5:33] people navigate this it up like enter

[5:36] here don't enter

[5:39] here I'm so confused I think I go this

[5:42] way we're back where we started like 30

[5:46] seconds to a minute ago I think I go

[5:48] this way though we're just going to go

[5:50] this

[5:53] way oh whoever is in that tent I hope

[5:56] you are loving your life I hope that you

[5:58] are there by choice

[6:00] choice not necessity I haven't done that

[6:03] so you people do it by choice I

[6:07] did um I'm not even talking about the

[6:10] homeless times I just mean I've gone

[6:12] camping in mother like this by

[6:16] myself um oh I'm going in a circle guys

[6:21] oh my God like one day I'll find it it's

[6:25] got how hard how how is this so hard

[6:29] oh my God that's so

[6:32] funny bet that's a hiking

[6:35] trail we're just going to go this way oh

[6:38] it's so bright out just so bright oh my

[6:42] God I need

[6:45] sunglasses we'll make it we'll make it

[6:49] my cats are doing good they're not going

[6:52] to be happy about us moving so soon it

[6:55] does say do not enter but I think it

[6:57] means that street I can't tell

[7:00] we're going to go this way oh I remember

[7:03] I there's that RV I was like look for

[7:05] that

[7:06] RV and you'll know which road to

[7:09] take I was there for a while oh that's

[7:13] funny okay it's quite nice I saw two

[7:16] squirrels playing while I was waiting

[7:18] for them to open up that was so cool

[7:20] they were just having a ball like I

[7:23] playful I tried to get it on camera but

[7:26] I wasn't fast enough I know I didn't go

[7:28] this way I know cuz like yeah I went

[7:31] that way last time

[7:33] okay so do not enter sites from this

[7:36] drive and then enter that way I'm so

[7:38] confused how what do not enter sights

[7:43] from this

[7:47] drive you I I'm so confused like I what

[7:52] where am I now this does not look right

[7:56] oh my

[7:57] god oh

[8:00] I didn't know it would be that hard I

[8:03] have brought a map it wouldn't help the

[8:06] map did not help me man this guy's got

[8:10] the perfect spot and he knows it

[8:12] guarantee Roads End in water what's down

[8:17] there we are going down

[8:19] there assuming I can find

[8:22] it I get back to my spot no reason to be

[8:26] stressed about it so I'm looking at it

[8:28] you know 7 in the morning oh wait till

[8:32] you see my coffee

[8:34] situation cuz you know I don't have my

[8:36] Cur C

[8:38] so man it's spr out

[8:43] wow that sounds very bright in the

[8:45] morning you know I learned a trick in

[8:47] school once if you're ever in a maze I

[8:51] went down there you need to find your

[8:53] way

[8:54] out watch out for the squirrel just put

[8:57] your hand on the right side and just

[8:59] keep following just going right all the

[9:03] time um you get out it's kind of what I

[9:06] need to do here it's kind of a real th I

[9:08] live by this is not a very busy Park I

[9:10] love that like for real so lost I didn't

[9:15] even know if like I've been this way or

[9:17] not we're going to find out oh this is a

[9:21] pretty steep VI see if second gear can

[9:24] make

[9:25] it okay oh it's so bright I need some

[9:29] [Music]

[9:31] glasses I remember that I feel like

[9:33] we've been this way there I am I found

[9:38] it oh my God okay move cars a lot when

[9:44] you do stuff like this I'm just going to

[9:47] come up here oh thank God I think the

[9:50] tick loock lady is gone oh thank God I'm

[9:53] sorry but that was just too much for

[9:56] me oh I hope that's not enough noral

[9:59] experience it's all I'm saying it felt

[10:02] very

[10:03] unpleasant yeah we're good this will be

[10:07] my new site

[10:08] 96 when the cats got out they went

[10:11] underneath that person's RV and it was

[10:13] the nighttime it was horrible and then

[10:16] Bailey ran over here behind

[10:18] that oh my God it was terrifying

[10:22] absolutely terrifying this is what I did

[10:23] last night in the dark pretty much I

[10:26] really stacked myself up so yeah we're

[10:28] just going to move we're going to move

[10:29] from here to

[10:31] there I'm just going to drive around in

[10:33] the

[10:34] circle she has gone oh thank God thank

[10:38] God and then I'm just going to pull

[10:41] right in so much easier I'm going to try

[10:45] to do that from now on oh I'm sure my

[10:47] cats are missing

[10:50] me hi guys I knew you'd be waiting at

[10:53] the door I found us a better spot thank

[10:57] god oh we got to do some working here

[10:59] though don't we all this in one night I

[11:03] was trying to find something going work

[11:05] out

[11:07] like

[11:10] I'm I I have I my my emotions are kind

[11:13] of like a mess right now like I I can't

[11:16] really describe them

[11:19] um I just need to wait on that well the

[11:22] cats were not happy about the move I

[11:24] think Oliver was sucking on his toe it

[11:27] was just soaking wet I thought he heard

[11:30] himself I think that was a fear response

[11:33] I don't know I'm a little

[11:35] concerned he seems okay now we're stop I

[11:39] was perfectly level right where I

[11:42] stopped and then I took my slide out and

[11:45] we're not level now so I'm going to have

[11:47] to learn that perfectly level here we

[11:50] were perfectly level in the back

[11:53] too then I moved my slide

[11:57] out so I have to account for that

[12:00] out by like 1 and A2

[12:03] lines but we got all this stuff hooked

[12:06] up we're good we're powered up called

[12:10] this my first real mistake so when I

[12:12] drove out of here I forgot to get rid of

[12:13] the chalks I heard a noise I didn't know

[12:15] what it was it is the remnants of the

[12:18] two chocks I had on my tires I hope I

[12:21] didn't hurt them oh wow I'm over here to

[12:24] get these things completely forgot about

[12:27] those things oh God long before there

[12:30] was leave no Trace there was the Boy

[12:31] Scouts Where I Was a Very Good Boy Scout

[12:35] and I always cleaned up my campsites and

[12:38] I want to be known I going to keep doing

[12:41] that so there are my talks in that bag I

[12:45] have cleaned up the site I will never

[12:47] leave a mess where I go as soon as we

[12:49] got here I was outside with my dad my

[12:51] mom was in here and the cats escaped the

[12:54] camper we were roaming around the

[12:57] campground um my window was open and the

[13:00] driver's side didn't realize it they got

[13:03] out scared the crap out of us did not

[13:07] want to listen to me but I got them both

[13:09] we're not level it's a pretty small site

[13:11] there's not a good spot for my

[13:13] Jeep it's kind

[13:15] of disappointing I'm just going to say

[13:18] disappointing

[13:20] um I don't know what I'll do I mean I'm

[13:24] I don't think I want to live like this

[13:25] for 2 weeks so I'm willing to you know

[13:29] but I'm going to think I think I'll just

[13:31] tomorrow I'll try and see if I can move

[13:33] sights you know it was hard to get a

[13:36] sight here for a two we period but I

[13:39] just you know this is this is the start

[13:42] of my new life right so um you adapt

[13:46] what is

[13:48] that no no no uh-uh I do not do insects

[13:53] where is my

[13:55] vacuum that thing looks very big

[13:59] no no no MM we can not have that in

[14:05] here I don't know what you are but no

[14:14] uh-uh sorry you had to see

[14:16] that

[14:18] um despite how I sound right now it was

[14:21] a wonderful drive here like super

[14:23] awesome everything went well um the gas

[14:26] station was awesome everything was

[14:27] awesome

[14:29] uh my mom took some footage of me

[14:31] driving off from the house and I guess

[14:33] she took some footage of me while I was

[14:35] trying to level this thing I didn't even

[14:36] notice she were doing that it was

[14:38] awesome like it only now am I like a

[14:42] little stressed but it's just because I

[14:44] picked a bad site that's on

[14:46] me

[14:48] um you just got to do your research I

[14:51] guess I didn't do my research well

[14:52] enough but at the same time I was also

[14:54] kind of kind of rushing like I knew that

[14:57] you know I had to find something by my

[14:59] birthday and I wanted to pick a play

[15:02] those for you know two weeks and that

[15:04] was just hard to do

[15:06] and thought I picked a good one like it

[15:08] was way at the end of you know this

[15:10] little circle and um let's just see if

[15:14] we can we can live with it I guess

[15:17] because I'm like really close to a

[15:19] hiking trail um I'm really close to

[15:21] Mammoth Caves like really close there's

[15:24] a lot to do so maybe maybe you just just

[15:29] tolerate stuff like this um life is not

[15:32] going to be perfect out here I don't

[15:33] need it to be see in the morning like

[15:35] where my Jeep is parked it's like I'm

[15:36] amazed that I didn't hurt it like cuz I

[15:39] had to park it next to this tree I'm not

[15:41] the best driver in the world but I

[15:43] managed it it's just that I can't

[15:45] imagine managing that for two weeks

[15:50] um oh my God so I just got here I

[15:54] I'm seeing my my solar like that that

[15:57] was a little freaked out about that a

[16:00] little

[16:01] bit

[16:03] um it had to have happened when I backed

[16:05] in here I mean the whole trip here was

[16:07] fine so I'm just going to have to get

[16:09] better at this you all right Oliver have

[16:12] any idea how badly you scared me I was

[16:15] absolutely terrified I imagine the worst

[16:18] possible things you cats can even

[16:20] imagine I was like oh my God off into

[16:22] the woods they go never to be seen again

[16:25] scared me half to

[16:27] death don't never do that again please I

[16:31] was absolutely terrified listen to me

[16:34] when I call you you're usually so good

[16:37] about

[16:38] it but they were in the car with my mom

[16:41] you know in their carriers the whole

[16:42] time here and I don't know how long that

[16:44] was 3 hours 3 and a half

[16:47] hours I didn't do it right um I tried to

[16:50] get them in here as fast as possible

[16:52] like I just basically just put the slide

[16:54] out and then let him in and said hey Mom

[16:55] watch

[16:56] them um

[17:01] this this is day one of my new life I'm

[17:03] going to make mistakes let's just hope

[17:05] they're not mistakes that have permanent

[17:07] consequences let's hope I get better

[17:09] real fast despite how I sound right now

[17:11] I am thrilled I truly am I I've done it

[17:15] I am

[17:16] here I'm like on an angle right but it's

[17:20] okay you we'll see tomorrow how I had to

[17:22] level this thing it was not and I

[17:25] leveled it pretty high I just thought I

[17:28] picked a good S I don't think I know the

[17:30] dimensions of my RV well enough where I

[17:34] cuz this was a tight squeeze but I did

[17:36] it on myself I drove here I did

[17:38] everything

[17:39] myself

[17:41] um I know that I can do this now I have

[17:44] I have no doubts about it um there's a

[17:47] whole bunch of pull through sites that

[17:48] would have been great but you want to

[17:51] see out that window we're out in the

[17:53] woods now God did you guys scare the

[17:56] crap out of me

[17:59] Oh I thought I'd never see you

[18:02] again that was

[18:07] terrifying

[18:09] yeah day one of my new

[18:13] life it's um it's interesting already

[18:18] and yeah do you have to destroy that

[18:22] Oliver do you you have to do that really

[18:24] really I mean you know you could choose

[18:28] not to you could choose not to you know

[18:30] how to get up there you know why why are

[18:33] you doing that

[18:35] why

[18:37] why we got to get settled do you guys

[18:39] need food you need

[18:41] water I haven't eaten anything today I

[18:46] don't

[18:47] think oh I don't know how it got so late

[18:50] like it's weird like it was not a long

[18:54] why are you guys hey Oliver that's not

[18:56] nice he just attacked Bailey come on you

[18:59] guys they're stressed out too you

[19:03] know it's okay guys it's

[19:08] okay it's kind of cool that I just

[19:10] parked somewhere and here's all my

[19:13] stuff I mean that's kind of cool here's

[19:16] my bed you

[19:18] know um you can't really complain about

[19:21] that I'm really on a steep angle though

[19:25] wow oh I could just roll backwards I

[19:27] don't know what it's going to be like

[19:28] like to sleep that way would have

[19:30] preferred a better start but I am I am

[19:34] okay with this one I

[19:36] am um thank you for joining me on this

[19:40] interesting adventure of mine W these

[19:43] two could be so tired already like what

[19:46] we just got here I have not even

[19:49] unpacked like

[19:51] what

[19:53] really Bailey you look so comfortable

[19:56] you're like I knew we were doing this

[19:59] like this is like he just

[20:02] knew oh my God they'd seem all right

[20:06] that's good

[20:08] news guys this is our new life oh my God

[20:12] I don't think it's sunk in

[20:14] yet and Bailey's like I can hear Oliver

[20:17] he's annoying

[20:20] me Oliver you're annoying your brother

[20:23] and you are trying to terrorize my coat

[20:27] please don't

[20:29] hold on definitely try to get you know

[20:32] to a campground earlier than this my

[20:34] poor cats they drove hi guys I'm going

[20:38] to get the slide open now for you okay

[20:42] it'll just be a second

[20:44] okay okay

[20:46] guys's get you out of these horrible

[20:50] little things you've been in for so

[20:53] long

[20:56] right turning you around aliver

[20:59] stay in there Bailey be very

[21:02] careful come on

[21:05] out it's okay yeah this is

[21:08] super unbalanced oh

[21:11] man I will pick my sights better in the

[21:14] future but I am not going to

[21:17] complain guys we have made it we are

[21:20] here I'm going to go and find my

[21:22] campsite right now I am so

[21:25] excited this is awesome we made it here

[21:29] this is it everyone this is my site for

[21:31] the next two weeks that is a very small

[21:34] space I thought it was a lot bigger than

[21:36] that but I don't know I guess I should

[21:39] be able to fit there it's a nice

[21:42] view nice little area

[21:45] here guess my Jeep goes there

[21:48] somehow so we are just in the spot over

[21:51] there we're going to get everything get

[21:53] my Jeep taken off

[21:56] and oh my mom's over here with my

[21:59] cats so yeah everybody's waiting on me

[22:02] here's my new life starting today I am

[22:05] so freaking happy it is unreal how happy

[22:07] I

[22:08] am oh man best birthday of my life for

[22:18] real okay let's see Sam put that camper

[22:23] back there into that little tiny space

[22:32] yeah this has been a

[22:40] while I got to get out of the street

[22:43] yeah you're you're out of the street

[23:10] hurry up daddy these cats went back into

[23:12] their

[23:14] home they're tired of being in Grandma's

[23:17] back seat

[23:42] going going to laugh at him for this no

[23:45] you should be excited for him yeah but

[23:48] you got to tease him too yeah well

[23:50] there's that so it's been a very good

[23:53] drive my dad's been with me so I just

[23:55] haven't really been using that thing my

[23:57] GoPro

[23:58] I'm at a gas station uh L's truck stop

[24:02] and I'm just waiting in line with the

[24:05] truckers pretty cool it has

[24:10] been really stressfree basically I'm I'm

[24:13] loving this I am

[24:15] not you know I don't feel like I'm got

[24:18] it all down yet like cuz I can't see my

[24:20] Jeep for one thing but you know we're

[24:23] doing good I'm doing

[24:26] good so for the most most part

[24:29] everything's been pretty easy uh it's

[24:31] just I don't I can't see my Jeep behind

[24:32] me because it's smaller you

[24:35] know um I can see it with my re viw

[24:39] camera which is basically on most of the

[24:42] time but I do have like a little bit

[24:44] that I want to do to get a better

[24:53] view so here we go

[25:05] we are good I can do this I I am feeling

[25:09] really good about

[25:11] this really am got my Jeep behind me I

[25:15] love

[25:16] this really do I'll be back

[25:20] guys we're on the road guys been on the

[25:22] road for couple hours I

[25:25] guess doing really well this has been a

[25:29] very easy drive so

[25:30] far having a good

[25:34] time have to do them one at a time going

[25:37] in there buddy he's like he's not like

[25:39] Bailey oh wow you are not like Bailey

[25:42] are

[25:43] you wow

[25:46] okay me carry Oliver no I'll get them

[25:51] both just putting in the back right yep

[25:55] and it's unlocked

[25:58] yeah that's a good

[26:00] idea bye

[26:02] Bailey hey

[26:04] Oliver okay I got my keys

[26:10] sry this way

[26:13] okay going to be all right

[26:26] Oliver give here H you have a safe TR we

[26:30] will love you love you all right let's

[26:33] get him in all

[26:41] righty love you love

[26:45] you good luck baby you got this

[27:18] and there he goes

[27:37] good morning everyone I thought why not

[27:39] end this part of my story the way that

[27:43] it began facing around my house in here

[27:46] I noticed I haven't really been doing

[27:48] that that was you know I just sit down

[27:51] and I just talk to you guys sometimes

[27:53] for an hour like you know it's just no

[27:57] big deal anymore

[27:59] like it was very stressful when I got

[28:02] started oh man so it's the day it's my

[28:06] 47th birthday I love birthdays always

[28:08] have it's like the only day I

[28:10] celebrate you know I don't do holidays

[28:13] but I definitely do my

[28:15] birthday um in New Year's those are the

[28:17] two I

[28:19] love in Halloween okay so I guess there

[28:21] might be a

[28:23] couple

[28:25] I I realized last night cuz cuz I had

[28:28] been trying to figure it out I didn't

[28:29] know what I was trying to accomplish

[28:30] with my YouTube channel and I get it now

[28:34] I was saying goodbye to my old life I

[28:36] just was I was processing a lot of

[28:39] emotions a lot of thoughts a lot of

[28:41] experiences from my

[28:43] life I just had to shed it all and

[28:46] that's what I did I just was a love

[28:49] letter to myself I guess just a way

[28:52] of way of creating some distance between

[28:55] this life and the next one I needed to

[28:58] process a

[28:59] lot and give myself a little bit of time

[29:02] to get used to the idea of what I was

[29:04] doing cuz I

[29:06] was I don't know how to explain what I

[29:08] did I wish I could because I feel like

[29:10] there are going to be people out there

[29:12] who will always ask me that and who need

[29:16] to know that right and I just don't know

[29:18] that I have a good answer

[29:20] I I pushed myself way out out of my

[29:25] comfort zone

[29:28] it was scary and I

[29:31] didn't I don't know how I managed it I

[29:34] just don't know how I managed it I'm

[29:36] sorry I wish I did

[29:40] I I guess you could say I reached Rock

[29:43] Bottom that's what they say right I mean

[29:45] I guess that can happen under all kinds

[29:47] of circumstances doesn't have to be

[29:49] drugs or alcohol

[29:51] like I just reached the bottom

[29:55] I I couldn't I couldn't continue down

[29:59] the path I was it was not it was not a

[30:01] feasible thing it couldn't be done it

[30:03] just couldn't be

[30:05] done it was not it was only going to end

[30:07] one way and I guess I love myself enough

[30:11] to to make a change

[30:15] that finally allowed me to move my life

[30:18] in a way different direction that I

[30:19] think is so much healthier for me and in

[30:22] tune with what I want out of life so I'm

[30:25] real happy about that real grateful

[30:29] yeah it's

[30:34] just I I have no regrets about this I

[30:38] really do feel like I made over a

[30:42] hundred videos about me letting

[30:45] go and saying goodbye to my old life so

[30:48] that I could start this new one

[30:52] and so I could start this new

[30:56] one without the baggage of the past

[30:59] holding me back you know I feel like I

[31:01] said what I needed to don't think

[31:04] everyone is ready to hear that but I

[31:07] said I said what I needed to

[31:11] and that's all that matters because

[31:15] that's all you can do you can share your

[31:18] truth and others will either respond

[31:20] well to it or they won't they will

[31:22] either get it or they won't I mean you

[31:24] can't be responsible for that part is

[31:26] what I'm trying to say

[31:29] I did the best I

[31:31] could tried to keep judgment out of it

[31:34] just not who I

[31:37] am um I'm just acknowledging how my life

[31:41] has shaped me and led me down the road

[31:43] that I'm on to the point that I just

[31:46] wanted to give up

[31:49] and well did give up years ago right

[31:52] just sat in the house and did nothing

[31:54] nothing

[31:56] special um

[32:01] like I keep saying that's no way to live

[32:03] and I mean it so I am about to embark on

[32:06] the best thing I've ever done for myself

[32:09] certainly in decades

[32:12] so I think the cats know what's up you

[32:15] know I

[32:16] think I mean they certainly know

[32:18] something is up

[32:21] right um today they're going to be in a

[32:23] camper and this time they're not going

[32:26] to be able just to go to the mansion

[32:28] when they're ready right they're just

[32:29] going to be like why aren't we going

[32:31] where are we I don't know it's

[32:34] weird like I don't know what to expect

[32:36] from

[32:37] them but you know this is part of life

[32:40] too you

[32:42] just you do your best and you hope for

[32:46] the best and you truly do your best

[32:49] right like I did everything I could I

[32:51] thought about my cats I thought about

[32:53] what do they need what will make them

[32:56] happy I mean I always thought even in

[32:58] this house like they could be happier

[33:00] cuz they don't get to go out enough and

[33:03] just I just you know I think I did

[33:06] everything I could um

[33:10] to start this new chapter of my life on

[33:13] the best footing for for both myself and

[33:16] my

[33:17] cats I will say this you know it can be

[33:21] it's a big responsibility having

[33:23] cats it really is and it can be very

[33:27] stressful full when you have cats like

[33:29] mine they are a lot of work they're just

[33:33] you know torturing each other right now

[33:35] I mean that's just what they do um I

[33:38] love them to death but they destroy

[33:41] everything

[33:43] and I mean those are two little lives

[33:46] I'm responsible for for the entirety of

[33:48] their

[33:49] lives you

[33:52] know I had a cat pass away before I got

[33:56] before I got these two and I didn't

[33:58] think I'd get a cat after that and then

[34:01] then it happened right it always

[34:03] does but I keep telling myself this is

[34:06] the last time and this time I think I

[34:08] mean it because they're going to hold me

[34:10] back in some ways it can only do day

[34:13] hikes you know I can't do any kind of an

[34:15] extended trip

[34:17] anywhere um

[34:21] so you know I'm going to enjoy the time

[34:24] that I have with my cats which it's

[34:26] going to be years right Lots in and lots

[34:28] of years and then one day I'll be very

[34:31] sad because they'll have passed away and

[34:34] then I will process my grief probably in

[34:37] the woods cuz that's where I process

[34:39] grief and then I think I'm just going to

[34:43] start another chapter and that chapter

[34:45] will be just me this time and

[34:49] just

[34:53] because you

[34:55] know it's not selfish to do that I mean

[35:00] we only get so much

[35:02] time on this planet people like to say I

[35:05] heard this the other day the RV Tech

[35:07] told me this I love this people say we

[35:11] only live once well that's not true we

[35:14] only die once we have a really long life

[35:18] that we can change at any moment like

[35:20] I'm changing mine now you don't live

[35:23] once you die

[35:24] once so make it the best life you can

[35:28] that's what I'm going to

[35:30] do I'm actually just facing my house I

[35:33] haven't done this in a while I don't

[35:35] want to be tied to electronics anymore I

[35:38] am so tired of them I don't want to be

[35:40] staring at a TV all the time I don't

[35:42] want to be staring at a monitor all the

[35:46] time I want to go back to

[35:48] [Music]

[35:50] something that feels more natural

[35:53] because this lifestyle is not natural it

[35:56] is not how our bodies and Minds were

[36:00] built and and you you can you know

[36:03] that's true because it completely messes

[36:05] up our circadian rhythms you know you

[36:08] got to take the blue light out of

[36:10] everything or you're up all night and

[36:12] I've been up all night my whole life you

[36:15] know um because I have been doing this

[36:18] since I was a little tiny child

[36:22] so I'm just I just don't want to do it

[36:25] anymore I don't know what I'm going to

[36:26] do with my life because that is how I

[36:29] how I sustain my life it's that's how I

[36:32] make

[36:33] money I hadn't told you guys this yet

[36:36] but I quit my job when I decided to do

[36:39] this I quit my

[36:42] job

[36:44] um the when I decided to do this I just

[36:47] let go of my last

[36:50] client and I'm living off my savings I

[36:53] just said to myself I have to do this

[36:55] I'm burnt out I'm dying inside I don't

[36:59] have the energy the strength nothing

[37:02] like I was just so

[37:04] wiped I needed a reset and it

[37:08] helped I seen a change you know it's

[37:11] like I was getting myself

[37:13] back and so I'll probably do stuff again

[37:16] like I might start an AI consultancy

[37:18] that's kind of the industry is heading I

[37:20] have a strong interest in that I know a

[37:22] lot about it but I don't want it taking

[37:25] over my life again I don't

[37:29] so I don't know what I'm going to do for

[37:31] money yet I haven't figured that out and

[37:33] I'll have to figure it out

[37:37] soon but yeah I quit my job when I

[37:40] decided to do this I I didn't tell you

[37:43] because I don't recommend it you know

[37:44] it's obviously not the best approach I

[37:46] did a lot of things that I wouldn't

[37:48] recommend um you know I have I had

[37:53] excellent credit like perfect credit

[37:56] basically and and so I had you know very

[37:59] high credit limits and I've used quite a

[38:02] lot of them just I've been kind of kind

[38:05] of hoarding my cash my

[38:07] savings putting everything on my credit

[38:10] card so that that dropped my score over

[38:12] like 90 points you know so in one month

[38:16] and I

[38:17] can I'm not going to keep it like that

[38:20] you know I don't believe in in living

[38:24] your life that way but at the same time

[38:27] I knew I had to do this if I didn't do

[38:29] this now I just don't know where I would

[38:32] have ended up I mean there's there's

[38:35] nothing I'm saying that you need to read

[38:36] between the lines okay it's just I was

[38:46] so I just can't imagine how that life

[38:48] could have continued I just don't know

[38:50] how it could have I had to do something

[38:53] it's just time for me to be responsible

[38:56] for myself and it just

[38:58] is um to rely only on myself to live my

[39:04] life for

[39:05] myself and that's what I'm going to do I

[39:08] don't care if that sounds selfish

[39:10] anymore in dealing with the house it'll

[39:12] feel different than it does right now I

[39:14] want to be on a campground I want my

[39:17] camper my home somewhere

[39:20] else I don't want it here

[39:23] anymore this is not I don't want to be

[39:26] here I don't live here here anymore this

[39:28] isn't my life

[39:29] anymore I am truly embracing a new life

7:43

Sorting Possessions Before Departure

Apr 3, 2024

13:07

Riding Out Thunderstorms, Thanking Early Adopters

Apr 3, 2024

15:11

Riding Out Storm in RV With Cats

Apr 3, 2024

10:08

One Week Out: Packing, Cold, and Cats

Apr 4, 2024

9:32

Insulating the Camper and Organizing Move-In

Apr 6, 2024

36:14

Installing Solar Power in the Camper

Apr 7, 2024

10:44

Testing Solar Setup Before Camper Inspection

Apr 7, 2024

7:33

Passing Scamper Inspection Before Departure

Apr 8, 2024

17:57

Tinkering in the Camper Two Days Before Departure

Apr 10, 2024

19:57

Final Day Before Departure to Campground

Apr 11, 2024

9:15

Retracting the Slide for the First Time

Apr 11, 2024

6:45

Marking 47th Birthday Before Departure

Apr 11, 2024

6:40

First Night at Campsite, New Life Begins

Apr 12, 2024

39:34

Day One in the Camper on His 47th Birthday

Apr 13, 2024

2:03

Closing the YouTube Channel Before Heading West

Apr 13, 2024

1:55

Clarifying the Project Is About Following Dreams

Apr 14, 2024

5:47

Reversing Channel Shutdown, Mapping Westward Route

Apr 15, 2024

3:44

Reviewing a Missed Encounter at the Park

Apr 15, 2024

5:37

First Morning Settling Into Camper Life

Apr 16, 2024

1:43

Setting Up Outdoor Site, Declaring Break From Matrix

Apr 16, 2024

5:35

Beginning Tramadol Withdrawal While Building Out RV Interior

Apr 17, 2024

4:53

First Grill Cookout at Campsite

Apr 17, 2024

3:17

Meeting Kevin and Organizing the RV Interior

Apr 18, 2024

10:03

Driving to Collect Supplies, Day Eight of RV Life

Apr 18, 2024

2:38

Settling Cats and Gaming Rig into the Camper

Apr 18, 2024

Photos · Apr 19, 2024

Apr 19, 2024

Photos · Apr 19, 2024

Apr 19, 2024

10:56

Emptying the House, Debating the Cats

Apr 20, 2024

8:33

Setting Up the Camper and Retrieving the Cats

Apr 20, 2024

2:03

Mounting Storage Baskets in the Camper

Apr 20, 2024

0:41

Recalling Firesworn Nation in EVE Online

Apr 21, 2024

4:33

Day Eleven: Cold Mornings and Neighbor Departures

Apr 21, 2024

2:38

Routing Next Stop and Deferring Dental Work

Apr 21, 2024

2:56

Managing Gray Tank Limits and Booking Tennessee Site

Apr 21, 2024

1:34

Unpacking Books and Storage Outside the Camper

Apr 21, 2024

1:35

Fixing Water Hookup and Deploying Solar Panel

Apr 21, 2024

0:44

Responding to RV Miles Video on Homelessness

Apr 22, 2024

3:15

Preparing RV Interior Before Retrieving Cats

Apr 22, 2024

2:26

Planning Route to Great Basin National Park

Apr 22, 2024

1:43

Day 12: Missing Journals and Retrieving Cats

Apr 22, 2024

46:56

Driving Cats to Camper, Documenting Family History

Apr 23, 2024

PUBLIC

April 13, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.50

Density 0.70

Energetic Quality

high-amplitude and multi-tracked — elation running concurrently with operational strain

Journey Phase

threshold-crossing under live load

Directional Vector

away from a life he states was not continuable, into self-reliant mobile operation

Narrative

He began it facing the room. On the morning of his forty-seventh birthday rswfire set the camera where he had set it more than a hundred times before, in the house he was leaving, and said he had finally worked out what all those recordings had been for — he had been saying goodbye to his old life, shedding it, creating distance between that life and the next one so he could start the new one without the baggage of the past. He told the camera things he had not told it before: that he had quit his job when he decided to do this, let go of his last client, and was living off savings; that he had been hoarding cash and putting everything on a credit card, and that his score had dropped ninety points in a month. He said he did not recommend it. He said he could not imagine how the old life could have continued, that it was only going to end one way, and that he loved himself enough to make a change. He said it was time to be responsible for himself, to rely only on himself, and that he no longer cared if that sounded selfish.

Then the leaving itself. His mother recorded the camper pulling out of the driveway. The cats went one at a time into the back seat of his parents' car — Bailey easy, as Bailey had been from the first moment, and Oliver not like Bailey at all, handed over with keys in hand and a round of love yous and good lucks through the car window. The Jeep rode behind the camper, small enough that rswfire could not see it in his mirrors and had to keep the rear-view camera on almost continuously. The drive ran three to three and a half hours and he described it as easy, stress-free, even wonderful. At L's truck stop he filmed himself waiting in the fuel line among the truckers and called it pretty cool. His dad rode with him. He said he was doing good, that he could do this, that he loved having the Jeep back there.

The site was smaller than the pictures had suggested. He had booked it under deadline pressure — he needed somewhere for two weeks by his birthday, and two-week sites were hard to find — and standing in it for the first time he said it was a very small space, that he had thought it was bigger, that he guessed the Jeep went over there somehow. His parents and the cats were already waiting on him. He backed the camper into the tight squeeze himself and parked the Jeep against a tree without touching it. His father teased him about the time it took; his mother said he should be excited for him. rswfire said it was the best birthday of his life, for real, that it was unreal how happy he was.

The first failures surfaced within the hour. He was outside with his dad, his mom inside with the cats, and the driver's-side window was open without his knowing it. Both cats got out into a dark campground. Oliver and Bailey went under a neighbor's RV and behind something else; he described it as terrifying, imagining them gone into the woods and never seen again. He got them both back. Later, talking to Oliver directly, he told him he had scared him half to death and asked him never to do that again.

The rest of that first night was correction under load. He leveled the camper, took the slide out, and found he was no longer level — an inch and a half off, a thing he would have to account for from then on. He got the hookups run and the power up. He had pulled away from his old spot in the driveway with the wheel chocks still in place; the noise he heard on the road turned out to be the chocks destroying themselves, and he collected the remnants into a bag and cleared the site, saying that long before Leave No Trace there were the Boy Scouts, and that he wanted to be known for never leaving a mess. The solar batteries and the inverter had tipped over, probably when he backed in. Something large enough to alarm him got inside and he went for the vacuum. He said the site was disappointing, that he did not want to live like that for two weeks, and that he would try to move in the morning. He said this was day one, that he would make mistakes, and that he hoped they would not be mistakes with permanent consequences.

At seven the next morning he drove the campground loops looking for the new site. He got lost repeatedly. The map did not help. Do-not-enter signs pointed in directions he could not reconcile — do not enter sites from this drive, enter here — and he circled back to where he had been thirty seconds earlier, going the wrong way on a road he was almost sure was the wrong way. He navigated by landmarks instead: the RV he had waited beside, a tent he had been shocked to find occupied in the cold, a hiking trail, a steep grade he took in second gear. He remembered a trick from school — in a maze, put your hand on the right wall and keep going right — and said that was close to a rule he already lived by. He passed the tent again and hoped whoever was inside was there by choice and not necessity, noting that he had done it both ways. He watched two squirrels playing while he waited for the office to open and could not get the camera up fast enough. Then he found it: site 96, a pull-through, directly across from where he had been. He waited for the neighboring site to clear, drove the circle once more, and pulled straight in. He said he was going to do it that way from now on.

The cats were waiting at the door when he got back, unhappy about moving again so soon, and by evening both were asleep. rswfire told the camera he was still in the prep stage — that the next two weeks were a training session, not the lifestyle yet: baskets to hang, batteries and table to strap down, the camper to be brought to a state he considered safe, and a house two weeks from being emptied. He said his emotions were a mess he could not describe and that he needed to wait on that. He said he did not want to be tied to electronics anymore, did not know yet what he would do for money, might build something around AI, had not figured it out. He was sitting on a steep angle he thought he could roll backwards down, in a spot he had chosen badly and would choose better next time, and he said he had driven here and done everything himself and now had no doubts that he could do this. Then he pointed at the open window and told whoever was watching to look out it. They were in the woods now.

Summary

rswfire assembles footage from multiple recording sessions spanning his departure from the house and his first days living in the camper, marking the transition on his 47th birthday.

He documents the drive out — roughly three hours with his parents accompanying, a stop at Lou's truck stop, and arrival at a state park site he describes as smaller than expected and not level once the slide extended. His cats Oliver and Bailey escaped through an open driver's-side window during setup and were recovered from under a neighboring RV. He states Oliver is not adjusting well and Bailey has been consistently calm.

The next morning he relocates to a pull-through site (96), narrating an extended attempt to navigate contradictory campground signage. He records mistakes: driving off with wheel chocks still attached, misjudging leveling, a shifted solar battery and inverter setup. He commits to a two-week prep window at this site — securing equipment, organizing storage, and clearing out the house.

He frames the YouTube archive that preceded this as saying goodbye to his old life, states he quit his job and released his last client before the move, is living on savings and credit, and names a possible AI consultancy as future work. He describes wanting distance from screens and states he has no regrets.

Environment

Recorded across a single 24-hour span spanning two locations. The opening and closing segments are filmed inside the camper — a new interior seating position rswfire identifies as his "living room spot" — and inside the house he is vacating, facing the room where over a hundred prior videos were recorded.

The field footage is shot at a state park campground near a hiking trail and Mammoth Caves, at a site he numbers 96 after relocating from an initial site chosen under time pressure. Additional footage comes from the road: the driveway departure, L's truck stop gas station in a line of truckers, and repeated dawn drive-loops through the campground road system at 7 AM.

Secondary environments include the Jeep towed behind the camper, his parents' vehicle carrying the two cats for a 3–3.5 hour transit, and the camper interior mid-setup — unlevel, slide extended, solar batteries and inverter tipped over.

Substrate

This is the hinge signal of a deliberate life-architecture replacement: rswfire executes the physical severance from a fixed house and a client-based income structure and begins operating from a mobile, self-contained system he drove, sited, and leveled himself. The ontological position is total self-responsibility — he states repeatedly that he did everything himself, that reliance is now on himself alone, and that he does not care if that reads as selfish. What is dissolving is the electronics-mediated, always-on work life and the physical anchor of the house; what is being built is an operational baseline he explicitly frames as still in prep stage, a two-week testing ground where the system's failure points (unstrapped batteries, site dimensions, cat containment, campground navigation) are being surfaced and corrected in real time.

Actions

Performed

•recording intro from new camper seating position
•assembling multiple unfinished clips into one transmission
•narrating a 7 AM drive through campground roads
•repeatedly reversing and turning around after wrong turns
•backing the camper into a site unassisted
•relocating to a pull-through site (96)
•hooking up power
•leveling the camper and re-leveling after slide extension
•collecting destroyed wheel chocks and cleaning the site
•removing an insect from the camper interior
•checking on Oliver and Bailey, opening carriers
•narrating the drive and truck stop stop
•filming the final address from inside the house
•stating he quit his job and let go of his last client

Referenced

•pulling away from the house for the last time
•driving 3+ hours towing the Jeep
•cats escaping the camper through an open window at night
•retrieving both cats from under a neighbor's RV
•solar batteries, inverter, and table tipping over during transit
•driving over and destroying two wheel chocks
•booking the first site quickly to meet a birthday deadline
•making over a hundred videos as a goodbye to the old life
•quitting his job and releasing his last client
•spending savings and drawing credit limits, dropping his score ~90 points
•giving up years earlier and sitting in the house
•prior homelessness, referenced in passing
•Boy Scouts training in campsite cleanup
•a cat that passed away before Oliver and Bailey
•parents filming the departure and transporting the cats

Planned

•treating the next two weeks as a training and prep stage
•vacating and dealing with the house within two weeks
•attempting to move sites again
•strapping down solar batteries and inverter
•reinstalling baskets and completing interior projects
•improving rear visibility for the towed Jeep
•learning RV dimensions and site selection
•day hikes once the cats settle
•possibly starting an AI consultancy
•reducing screen and electronics time
•resolving income before savings run out
•a later chapter alone, after the cats' lifespans

Entities

beings

rswfire — Author of the signal; executing the move from house to full-time camper on his 47th birthday

Oliver — Cat; described as struggling with the transit and move, hiding, toe-sucking, attacking Bailey

Bailey — Cat; described as chill and adapted from the first moment

his mother — Transported the cats, filmed the departure and leveling attempt

his father — Rode along on the drive, present at arrival and site setup

places

the house — Prior residence being vacated; filmed one last time from inside

Mammoth Caves — Nearby attraction cited as a reason to tolerate the imperfect site

Site 96 — Pull-through campground site relocated to after the first site proved too small and unlevel

L's truck stop — Gas station stop on the drive; described as waiting in line with truckers

systems

the Jeep — Towed vehicle; visibility and parking placement are recurring operational concerns

solar batteries and inverter — Power system that tipped over in transit; flagged for strapping down

Boy Scouts — Cited as the origin of his campsite cleanup standard, predating Leave No Trace

concepts

AI consultancy — Possible future income direction he states interest in but does not want to consume his life

"you don't live once, you die once" — Phrase relayed from an RV technician; used as the framing for changing his life at any moment

Rock Bottom — Term he applies to his prior condition while noting it need not involve drugs or alcohol

media

YouTube channel — Over a hundred videos he states functioned as a goodbye to his old life

GoPro — Camera carried but largely unused during the drive

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

threshold

birthday as calendar hinge

the maze

the last look at the house

level and unlevel ground

the towed vehicle behind

the tent occupant (choice versus necessity)

destroyed chocks

the open window

the woods

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

transitional (explicitly self-designated as prep stage, not yet the lifestyle he is building toward)

sovereign (states reliance on himself alone, rejects the charge of selfishness in advance)

self-authored (frames the departure as a chosen change made because he loves himself enough to make it)

load-bearing under live conditions (system failure points surfacing in real time and being corrected while operating)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

infrastructural (power, leveling, hookups, chocks, storage, tie-downs — the camper being brought to operational state)

navigational (campground road system, maps, signage, right-hand maze rule)

logistical (site booking under deadline, house exit timeline, towing, fuel stops)

relational (cats as dependents; parents as transit and documentation support)

financial (savings drawdown, credit utilization, score drop, undetermined income path)

documentary (multi-clip assembly, GoPro, phone editing, YouTube archive as closure mechanism)

somatic (unmediated screen fatigue, circadian disruption, burnout stated as the precipitating condition)

ethical (Leave No Trace standard, self-imposed cleanup rule, refusal to judge in the archive)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

new life / day one

prep stage / training session

I did everything myself

level / unlevel

letting go / saying goodbye

responsible for myself

I don't recommend it

Narrative

Mirror

You are sitting in a seat you have just named — the living room spot — inside a structure you drove, sited, and leveled yourself, and the structure is not level. You say this plainly and repeatedly. Perfectly level at the stop, then the slide came out, and now off by an inch and a half, on an angle steep enough that you note you could roll backward in your own bed. The batteries and the inverter are tipped over. Two chocks are destroyed and bagged, and the site is cleaned. The Jeep is parked against a tree in a space you say is too small. Every one of these is stated as fact and followed immediately by a correction plan: strap them down, learn the slide, move sites tomorrow, do the research next time. The infrastructural subsystem is running hot and open, surfacing its own failure points while you operate it.

The navigational subsystem is running simultaneously, and you are narrating it in real time at seven in the morning while lost in a loop of do-not-enter signs. You count your wrong turns out loud, name the RV and the tent as landmarks, and apply the right-hand maze rule you learned in school. You do not resolve the loop by finding the exit; you resolve it by recognizing a parked vehicle. You state that maps did not help. You also state you are a programmer, and you say it as a question against your own performance.

The energetic field is running two tracks at full amplitude and you do not merge them. You say you are thrilled, that it is the best birthday of your life, that it is unreal how happy you are — and in the same clip you say your emotions are a mess and you need to wait on that. You say the drive was awesome, the gas station was awesome, everything went well, and then that you are stressed, and that the stress is on you because you picked the site. You name the terror of the cats getting out through the open driver's-side window with exactness — the RV they went under, the direction Bailey ran, the woods you pictured them disappearing into. Neither track is subordinated to the other. Both are stated.

The relational subsystem is two cats and two parents. Oliver is under the bed, sucking a wet toe, attacking Bailey; you record what he does and say you are a little concerned and that he seems okay now. Bailey is chill and you say so four times. Your mother carried them three-plus hours and failed to record your backing-in, and you note both. Your father teased you in the street. The financial subsystem is stated flatly and without hedge: last client released, job quit, savings drawn down, credit limits used, score down ninety points in a month, income path undetermined, AI consultancy named as a possibility and nothing more. You say you do not recommend the approach. You do not withdraw it.

What is present is total attribution to yourself. I did everything myself. I drove here. I backed in. That's on me. It's time for me to be responsible for myself, to rely only on myself, and you say in advance that you do not care if that sounds selfish. What is present is a designation of stage: prep, testing ground, training session, two weeks, not yet the lifestyle. What is present is the closing frame — you turned the camera to face the room where you made over a hundred videos and named what those videos were for. What is absent is any request. No one is asked for help, advice, funding, or reassurance. No blame is placed on any person or institution. No timeline is given for the income question, and no answer is invented for it. There is no closure statement about the house beyond the fact that you have two weeks and that you no longer live there. The signal points away from a fixed structure and a client-based income you state could not have continued, and it stops at the edge of the woods outside your window without describing what is past it.

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Day One in the Camper on His 47th Birthday

Energetic Quality

Journey Phase

Directional Vector

Tags

Summary

Environment

Substrate

Actions

Performed

Referenced

Planned

Entities

Symbolic Elements

Ontological States

Engaged Subsystems

Dominant Language

Hand your life to anything that reads.