Morning Camper Check-In on Cooking, Creativity, Change

01HX4F1RB8QJ0BWC5KS02ZCZTP

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May 5, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.20

Density 0.50

Energetic Quality

calm, receptive momentum

Journey Phase

recalibrating

Directional Vector

toward embodied self-sufficiency

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Transcript

[0:00] good morning guys there's something to

[0:01] be said about waking up pretty much with

[0:05] sun you

[0:06] know early at 7 o' in the

[0:10] morning been sitting here for a few

[0:12] minutes

[0:14] just taking in the quiet and the birds

[0:18] they don't bother me so much

[0:21] lately

[0:24] um which I find that interesting I just

[0:27] haven't processed it yet I'm trying to

[0:28] figure out what's going on there I'm

[0:31] doing pretty good the dots are for my

[0:33] lights I and the camera I haven't

[0:35] figured out why it does

[0:38] that um yeah see I I don't know what to

[0:42] do about

[0:43] it looks like they helped let opening

[0:46] that back

[0:47] window so lots of you oh they're

[0:51] back so lots of you guys gave me advice

[0:54] on on mattresses I just want to make it

[0:56] clear I I'll get one I I will there's

[1:01] you know I have a couple options I'm

[1:03] just weighing them right now

[1:05] and um I also just want to contact them

[1:09] and make sure that it'll be something I

[1:12] can transport in my Jeep you know if I

[1:14] order it from them

[1:15] so oh I I got options I you know I just

[1:19] haven't just haven't done it yet haven't

[1:22] followed

[1:23] through I got really inspired yesterday

[1:26] watching some stuff on YouTube I didn't

[1:29] I never had heard of of art journaling

[1:30] until

[1:32] yesterday and I watched a bunch of stuff

[1:35] and it's very interesting I bought some

[1:38] supplies they're going to my mom's house

[1:41] so I'm going to give it a

[1:44] try

[1:46] um don't think I'm ready to try painting

[1:49] you know

[1:50] like I'm going to be happy to have the

[1:53] supply so that I can try again

[1:57] sometime um

[2:01] I just want to be more creative I'm

[2:03] discovering that and there's ways to be

[2:06] creative I had never seen before you

[2:08] know

[2:09] until I think YouTube's picking up on

[2:12] what I need seems like I don't know what

[2:15] you know what it's putting in my feet I

[2:16] mean I've never heard of art journaling

[2:19] so and I also discovered another Channel

[2:24] well can't remember if they were related

[2:26] or not but I think they were actually

[2:28] and she had started painting in her 40s

[2:31] so I think I told you about her

[2:33] yesterday I'm just still like guess

[2:35] that's still on my mind I just woke up

[2:37] and I'm thinking about it

[2:39] so um she's interesting personality I

[2:43] can't remember her name something like

[2:45] like the unexpected Gypsy or something

[2:47] like that I

[2:49] think

[2:51] um she makes nice artwork and if she

[2:53] started in her 40s you know well I'm 47

[2:58] so you know no better time than now I

[3:01] guess pretty sure that's the point of

[3:03] her Channel you

[3:05] know I heard a quote in another Channel

[3:08] and I I would get it wrong if I tried to

[3:11] recite it for memory but it started with

[3:13] believing yourself and I made a post

[3:15] about it and you know that's one of the

[3:19] pictures on my walls just believe in

[3:22] yourself I wonder if it came from that

[3:25] this this quote and it just it's a

[3:27] beautiful quote really moved me

[3:31] oh and I found this J of this this

[3:33] Korean woman and you know it's basically

[3:39] like um just showed her D you know and

[3:43] it was in Grand so you know just

[3:45] subtitled and it was awesome I I just

[3:47] was

[3:48] really really impressed with how well

[3:50] she lives like self-sufficiently

[3:56] and every single recipe I saw in her

[3:58] videos like I love to try that

[4:01] so

[4:03] um I'm feeling pretty good today I want

[4:07] to start embracing some new habits right

[4:11] so I need to eat breakfast that's not a

[4:13] thing I do

[4:16] um I was thinking I would eat

[4:21] oatmeal I guess because that's you know

[4:24] what they tell us we should eat right so

[4:26] I don't know if that's good or not

[4:28] anymore I don't know anything I don't

[4:29] trust my mind right now all right I want

[4:33] to make rice a staple my diet and and

[4:35] this Korean woman's videos you know she

[4:40] rice is just part of her breakfast

[4:43] and with eggs and some kind of meat that

[4:46] I didn't understand what it was and

[4:49] then

[4:51] um she you can and you can do so much

[4:54] with rice I

[4:55] mean in one video she turned it into

[4:58] soup and I was like wow that's well I

[5:01] guess that makes sense we do that too

[5:02] don't we but um I mean I only know one

[5:05] kind of chicken rice soup or whatever

[5:09] right

[5:11] um I was just super impressed

[5:14] like I wish and you know she lives in I

[5:18] would say it's probably fairly small

[5:21] space

[5:23] and she and

[5:27] she she managed well you know so I I and

[5:30] I

[5:31] just I felt really inspired by all this

[5:34] yesterday all these different channels I

[5:36] found I think when I started going

[5:38] through this

[5:38] [Music]

[5:40] withdrawal I kind of well derailed me I

[5:43] for you know it's like I kind of lost my

[5:45] focus and

[5:46] then it's coming back now you know it's

[5:49] like I I want to embrace change in my

[5:52] life I want to live

[5:54] differently and

[5:57] healthier it has to start now

[6:01] so you know I have also have to start

[6:05] with realistic right what's realistic

[6:07] for me what you know like my skill set

[6:10] and you know things like that I can make

[6:13] eggs uh the only problem is is I don't

[6:16] really know how much propane I have and

[6:18] I know I'm going to have a

[6:21] challenge filling this thing and I'm

[6:23] just I guess I'm a little worried that

[6:26] you go through it fast if you start

[6:28] cooking in here and that but I don't

[6:30] know I don't know that yet

[6:32] so

[6:37] um and I don't want

[6:40] to like I don't want to run them dry cuz

[6:43] I know that the um the fridge needs it

[6:46] when you're moving for example I don't

[6:48] know what to do about those lights

[6:52] why why do you like to do this you know

[6:55] I think I have an idea did that help

[6:59] there's one little oh there's some dots

[7:02] it just looks like they're on my face so

[7:04] it's like I got to fix that turning more

[7:07] lights than more lights on didn't didn't

[7:09] do the

[7:12] trick I guess I can move you

[7:17] know of

[7:20] course for you

[7:25] guys um I lost my train of thought I'm

[7:28] just kind of

[7:30] I kind of know what I was talking about

[7:32] like oh propane right

[7:36] so um I don't want to risk like you know

[7:40] running out of it so I haven't really

[7:43] been cooking on it I I made eggs once in

[7:46] the microwave these microwaves are

[7:48] slower also I need to learn how to use

[7:51] it's a convection OV it and I need to

[7:53] learn how to do that part like how do

[7:56] you cooking it

[7:58] and you know what can I make and cook in

[8:03] a

[8:03] camper especially when I'm on a

[8:05] campground that's not going to go

[8:09] through you know my propane something

[8:11] that uses electric basically and I do

[8:14] have a race cooker I I made coat rice in

[8:17] it one day and like I told you guys I've

[8:21] tried different things along the way

[8:23] like teen you know like and I bought a

[8:26] rice cooker cuz like let's eat rice all

[8:29] the time time well I made rice in it at

[8:32] least at least I did that it was good it

[8:35] was just plain white rice though and um

[8:39] with butter and salt I didn't know what

[8:40] to do with it so I didn't make anything

[8:42] after that but it's it's time I need to

[8:45] start broadening

[8:47] my my knowledge about cooking and

[8:52] nutrition you know all of that

[8:56] so that's where my head is this morning

[9:00] yeah so I noticed yesterday when I made

[9:04] coffee I didn't like the way it made me

[9:07] feel

[9:09] so might not make coffee

[9:13] today which that's interesting right

[9:16] like I

[9:17] never I mean I know it's partly this

[9:20] withdrawal I'm going through it just my

[9:22] body is super sensitive right now which

[9:25] that maybe I don't know maybe that's a

[9:27] good thing like

[9:29] tell me it doesn't like coffee I

[9:33] think um and it just tolerates it when

[9:35] I'm not as sensitive I guess I mean

[9:37] that's kind of what I'm wondering

[9:39] maybe or it could have just been a fluke

[9:42] you know Shouldn't Judge anything I just

[9:45] want

[9:47] experience

[9:48] yeah would be nice to

[9:51] get um caffeine you know pretty much out

[9:55] of my system

[9:56] though it's not just from coffee

[9:59] obviously M do

[10:03] but I'm embracing change guys like this

[10:07] is so important to

[10:10] me I did this because I knew it would I

[10:13] don't know how I just how I knew this

[10:16] like but I I really think I'm right it

[10:19] would just force me

[10:21] to adapt and change and it feels like

[10:25] that's what it's doing to

[10:27] me I'm really glad

[10:31] because it wasn't working when I lived

[10:33] in the house I mean I bought a rice

[10:35] cooker and teas and you know tried all

[10:39] kinds of things

[10:41] and I never really changed and never

[10:44] really did anything

[10:47] different

[10:48] um this is going to force me to because

[10:52] I can't live like like I I can't call

[10:54] door Dash let's put it that

[10:56] way so yeah I'm just going to make some

[10:59] a eggs um in the microwave cuz that's

[11:02] it's easy takes a couple minutes like I

[11:05] started to say it just seems like it's

[11:08] probably like lower wattage or something

[11:10] right I don't I you know it's just

[11:13] um you just have to figure out like your

[11:17] cooking times for everything they're

[11:18] going to be different

[11:21] so that's I ever did that at home I

[11:23] never made eggs you if I made eggs I

[11:25] actually would make those on the stove

[11:27] but and I'd like to do that here I just

[11:30] I really have to be careful about my

[11:33] propane and the type of Grill I

[11:36] got I really had trouble with that thing

[11:38] you know because the ignition thing is

[11:41] broken so bought brand

[11:45] new

[11:49] um plus that's not for making eggs I

[11:51] don't know what you would you know I

[11:53] guess I could watch more van lifers cuz

[11:55] I guarantee you they know how I bet you

[11:58] they know how

[12:06] um

[12:07] yeah so I

[12:09] love um those things that go over my

[12:13] windows but I miss being able to look

[12:15] out those windows

[12:18] so I don't know that they're

[12:21] like they're not going to become a

[12:23] permanent fixture in here they can't I I

[12:27] actually feels like I'm living in a

[12:29] dungeon now

[12:32] actually but they're very helpful so I

[12:35] don't know like it did kind of stabilize

[12:37] the temperature in here the air

[12:39] conditioning does not KCK on nearly as

[12:41] much you really called that one AP shoot

[12:45] you

[12:52] did just I've been trying to figure out

[12:55] what your name is about

[12:57] like just I started thinking

[13:00] you know with that uh I mean there's

[13:03] there's a certain way you could

[13:04] interpret that one that's

[13:07] um probably considered um profanity you

[13:12] know um you know now I was trying to

[13:15] figure out the numbers if they were just

[13:17] like an add-on you know to to letters

[13:19] it's kind of like you do with the

[13:20] license

[13:21] plane well I'm rambling now so that's

[13:25] usually when I need to end a video so

[13:27] I'll do that

[0:00] good morning guys there's something to

[0:01] be said about waking up pretty much with

[0:05] sun you

[0:06] know early at 7 o' in the

[0:10] morning been sitting here for a few

[0:12] minutes

[0:14] just taking in the quiet and the birds

[0:18] they don't bother me so much

[0:21] lately

[0:24] um which I find that interesting I just

[0:27] haven't processed it yet I'm trying to

[0:28] figure out what's going on there I'm

[0:31] doing pretty good the dots are for my

[0:33] lights I and the camera I haven't

[0:35] figured out why it does

[0:38] that um yeah see I I don't know what to

[0:42] do about

[0:43] it looks like they helped let opening

[0:46] that back

[0:47] window so lots of you oh they're

[0:51] back so lots of you guys gave me advice

[0:54] on on mattresses I just want to make it

[0:56] clear I I'll get one I I will there's

[1:01] you know I have a couple options I'm

[1:03] just weighing them right now

[1:05] and um I also just want to contact them

[1:09] and make sure that it'll be something I

[1:12] can transport in my Jeep you know if I

[1:14] order it from them

[1:15] so oh I I got options I you know I just

[1:19] haven't just haven't done it yet haven't

[1:22] followed

[1:23] through I got really inspired yesterday

[1:26] watching some stuff on YouTube I didn't

[1:29] I never had heard of of art journaling

[1:30] until

[1:32] yesterday and I watched a bunch of stuff

[1:35] and it's very interesting I bought some

[1:38] supplies they're going to my mom's house

[1:41] so I'm going to give it a

[1:44] try

[1:46] um don't think I'm ready to try painting

[1:49] you know

[1:50] like I'm going to be happy to have the

[1:53] supply so that I can try again

[1:57] sometime um

[2:01] I just want to be more creative I'm

[2:03] discovering that and there's ways to be

[2:06] creative I had never seen before you

[2:08] know

[2:09] until I think YouTube's picking up on

[2:12] what I need seems like I don't know what

[2:15] you know what it's putting in my feet I

[2:16] mean I've never heard of art journaling

[2:19] so and I also discovered another Channel

[2:24] well can't remember if they were related

[2:26] or not but I think they were actually

[2:28] and she had started painting in her 40s

[2:31] so I think I told you about her

[2:33] yesterday I'm just still like guess

[2:35] that's still on my mind I just woke up

[2:37] and I'm thinking about it

[2:39] so um she's interesting personality I

[2:43] can't remember her name something like

[2:45] like the unexpected Gypsy or something

[2:47] like that I

[2:49] think

[2:51] um she makes nice artwork and if she

[2:53] started in her 40s you know well I'm 47

[2:58] so you know no better time than now I

[3:01] guess pretty sure that's the point of

[3:03] her Channel you

[3:05] know I heard a quote in another Channel

[3:08] and I I would get it wrong if I tried to

[3:11] recite it for memory but it started with

[3:13] believing yourself and I made a post

[3:15] about it and you know that's one of the

[3:19] pictures on my walls just believe in

[3:22] yourself I wonder if it came from that

[3:25] this this quote and it just it's a

[3:27] beautiful quote really moved me

[3:31] oh and I found this J of this this

[3:33] Korean woman and you know it's basically

[3:39] like um just showed her D you know and

[3:43] it was in Grand so you know just

[3:45] subtitled and it was awesome I I just

[3:47] was

[3:48] really really impressed with how well

[3:50] she lives like self-sufficiently

[3:56] and every single recipe I saw in her

[3:58] videos like I love to try that

[4:01] so

[4:03] um I'm feeling pretty good today I want

[4:07] to start embracing some new habits right

[4:11] so I need to eat breakfast that's not a

[4:13] thing I do

[4:16] um I was thinking I would eat

[4:21] oatmeal I guess because that's you know

[4:24] what they tell us we should eat right so

[4:26] I don't know if that's good or not

[4:28] anymore I don't know anything I don't

[4:29] trust my mind right now all right I want

[4:33] to make rice a staple my diet and and

[4:35] this Korean woman's videos you know she

[4:40] rice is just part of her breakfast

[4:43] and with eggs and some kind of meat that

[4:46] I didn't understand what it was and

[4:49] then

[4:51] um she you can and you can do so much

[4:54] with rice I

[4:55] mean in one video she turned it into

[4:58] soup and I was like wow that's well I

[5:01] guess that makes sense we do that too

[5:02] don't we but um I mean I only know one

[5:05] kind of chicken rice soup or whatever

[5:09] right

[5:11] um I was just super impressed

[5:14] like I wish and you know she lives in I

[5:18] would say it's probably fairly small

[5:21] space

[5:23] and she and

[5:27] she she managed well you know so I I and

[5:30] I

[5:31] just I felt really inspired by all this

[5:34] yesterday all these different channels I

[5:36] found I think when I started going

[5:38] through this

[5:38] [Music]

[5:40] withdrawal I kind of well derailed me I

[5:43] for you know it's like I kind of lost my

[5:45] focus and

[5:46] then it's coming back now you know it's

[5:49] like I I want to embrace change in my

[5:52] life I want to live

[5:54] differently and

[5:57] healthier it has to start now

[6:01] so you know I have also have to start

[6:05] with realistic right what's realistic

[6:07] for me what you know like my skill set

[6:10] and you know things like that I can make

[6:13] eggs uh the only problem is is I don't

[6:16] really know how much propane I have and

[6:18] I know I'm going to have a

[6:21] challenge filling this thing and I'm

[6:23] just I guess I'm a little worried that

[6:26] you go through it fast if you start

[6:28] cooking in here and that but I don't

[6:30] know I don't know that yet

[6:32] so

[6:37] um and I don't want

[6:40] to like I don't want to run them dry cuz

[6:43] I know that the um the fridge needs it

[6:46] when you're moving for example I don't

[6:48] know what to do about those lights

[6:52] why why do you like to do this you know

[6:55] I think I have an idea did that help

[6:59] there's one little oh there's some dots

[7:02] it just looks like they're on my face so

[7:04] it's like I got to fix that turning more

[7:07] lights than more lights on didn't didn't

[7:09] do the

[7:12] trick I guess I can move you

[7:17] know of

[7:20] course for you

[7:25] guys um I lost my train of thought I'm

[7:28] just kind of

[7:30] I kind of know what I was talking about

[7:32] like oh propane right

[7:36] so um I don't want to risk like you know

[7:40] running out of it so I haven't really

[7:43] been cooking on it I I made eggs once in

[7:46] the microwave these microwaves are

[7:48] slower also I need to learn how to use

[7:51] it's a convection OV it and I need to

[7:53] learn how to do that part like how do

[7:56] you cooking it

[7:58] and you know what can I make and cook in

[8:03] a

[8:03] camper especially when I'm on a

[8:05] campground that's not going to go

[8:09] through you know my propane something

[8:11] that uses electric basically and I do

[8:14] have a race cooker I I made coat rice in

[8:17] it one day and like I told you guys I've

[8:21] tried different things along the way

[8:23] like teen you know like and I bought a

[8:26] rice cooker cuz like let's eat rice all

[8:29] the time time well I made rice in it at

[8:32] least at least I did that it was good it

[8:35] was just plain white rice though and um

[8:39] with butter and salt I didn't know what

[8:40] to do with it so I didn't make anything

[8:42] after that but it's it's time I need to

[8:45] start broadening

[8:47] my my knowledge about cooking and

[8:52] nutrition you know all of that

[8:56] so that's where my head is this morning

[9:00] yeah so I noticed yesterday when I made

[9:04] coffee I didn't like the way it made me

[9:07] feel

[9:09] so might not make coffee

[9:13] today which that's interesting right

[9:16] like I

[9:17] never I mean I know it's partly this

[9:20] withdrawal I'm going through it just my

[9:22] body is super sensitive right now which

[9:25] that maybe I don't know maybe that's a

[9:27] good thing like

[9:29] tell me it doesn't like coffee I

[9:33] think um and it just tolerates it when

[9:35] I'm not as sensitive I guess I mean

[9:37] that's kind of what I'm wondering

[9:39] maybe or it could have just been a fluke

[9:42] you know Shouldn't Judge anything I just

[9:45] want

[9:47] experience

[9:48] yeah would be nice to

[9:51] get um caffeine you know pretty much out

[9:55] of my system

[9:56] though it's not just from coffee

[9:59] obviously M do

[10:03] but I'm embracing change guys like this

[10:07] is so important to

[10:10] me I did this because I knew it would I

[10:13] don't know how I just how I knew this

[10:16] like but I I really think I'm right it

[10:19] would just force me

[10:21] to adapt and change and it feels like

[10:25] that's what it's doing to

[10:27] me I'm really glad

[10:31] because it wasn't working when I lived

[10:33] in the house I mean I bought a rice

[10:35] cooker and teas and you know tried all

[10:39] kinds of things

[10:41] and I never really changed and never

[10:44] really did anything

[10:47] different

[10:48] um this is going to force me to because

[10:52] I can't live like like I I can't call

[10:54] door Dash let's put it that

[10:56] way so yeah I'm just going to make some

[10:59] a eggs um in the microwave cuz that's

[11:02] it's easy takes a couple minutes like I

[11:05] started to say it just seems like it's

[11:08] probably like lower wattage or something

[11:10] right I don't I you know it's just

[11:13] um you just have to figure out like your

[11:17] cooking times for everything they're

[11:18] going to be different

[11:21] so that's I ever did that at home I

[11:23] never made eggs you if I made eggs I

[11:25] actually would make those on the stove

[11:27] but and I'd like to do that here I just

[11:30] I really have to be careful about my

[11:33] propane and the type of Grill I

[11:36] got I really had trouble with that thing

[11:38] you know because the ignition thing is

[11:41] broken so bought brand

[11:45] new

[11:49] um plus that's not for making eggs I

[11:51] don't know what you would you know I

[11:53] guess I could watch more van lifers cuz

[11:55] I guarantee you they know how I bet you

[11:58] they know how

[12:06] um

[12:07] yeah so I

[12:09] love um those things that go over my

[12:13] windows but I miss being able to look

[12:15] out those windows

[12:18] so I don't know that they're

[12:21] like they're not going to become a

[12:23] permanent fixture in here they can't I I

[12:27] actually feels like I'm living in a

[12:29] dungeon now

[12:32] actually but they're very helpful so I

[12:35] don't know like it did kind of stabilize

[12:37] the temperature in here the air

[12:39] conditioning does not KCK on nearly as

[12:41] much you really called that one AP shoot

[12:45] you

[12:52] did just I've been trying to figure out

[12:55] what your name is about

[12:57] like just I started thinking

[13:00] you know with that uh I mean there's

[13:03] there's a certain way you could

[13:04] interpret that one that's

[13:07] um probably considered um profanity you

[13:12] know um you know now I was trying to

[13:15] figure out the numbers if they were just

[13:17] like an add-on you know to to letters

[13:19] it's kind of like you do with the

[13:20] license

[13:21] plane well I'm rambling now so that's

[13:25] usually when I need to end a video so

[13:27] I'll do that

6:08

Addressing Trolls, Gray Tank, and Cat Housing Decision

Apr 30, 2024

2:55

Relocating Cats to Parents Early in Camper Life

Apr 30, 2024

6:58

Handing Off Cats and Leaving the House

Apr 30, 2024

5:29

Recalibrating Route Plan Mid-Drive Through Tennessee

May 1, 2024

12:08

Day 21 Systems Check and Final Walkthrough

May 1, 2024

13:46

Moving Sites, Restocking, Renaming the Channel

May 1, 2024

17:15

Dumping Tanks and Repositioning to New Site

May 2, 2024

2:07

Acknowledging Loneliness as Structural Recalibration

May 2, 2024

12:20

Recording Post-Withdrawal Day at New Campground Site

May 2, 2024

8:07

Recounting the Land Deal and Choosing the Camper

May 2, 2024

0:50

Rerouting Travel Plans at Lake Cumberland

May 3, 2024

6:33

Addressing Tramadol Withdrawal Timeline and Channel Direction

May 4, 2024

3:28

Morning Camper Routine and Tramadol Withdrawal Notes

May 4, 2024

1:34

Reassigning Freed Storage Space Under the Bed

May 4, 2024

1:28

Sharing Wooden Book-Folding Hobby on Camera

May 4, 2024

11:00

Organizing Camper, Naming Land and Cabin Goal

May 4, 2024

37:19

Preparing Travel Day With Cats and Withdrawal Plan

May 5, 2024

8:16

Documenting Withdrawal Recurrence and Severing Medical Trust

May 5, 2024

13:28

Morning Camper Check-In on Cooking, Creativity, Change

May 5, 2024

2:21

Planning a Store Run and Learning to Cook

May 5, 2024

13:07

Trying Tea for the First Time After Showers

May 5, 2024

1:08

Recording Birdsong at Siltcoos

May 6, 2024

6:06

Building a Fire and Stating Motivations

May 6, 2024

2:55

Recording Empty Campground at Siltcoos

May 6, 2024

7:27

Recording a 6 AM Walk at the Campsite

May 6, 2024

7:53

Revisiting Spirituality and Agnosticism at Camp

May 6, 2024

40:00

Scouting Lake Cumberland, Visiting Family and Cats

May 7, 2024

11:01

Morning Fog Walk, BetterHelp Exit, Substitution Plans

May 7, 2024

1:26

Recording Road Incident After Braking for Squirrel

May 7, 2024

10:57

Organizing Camper Storage and Returning to Nature

May 7, 2024

3:35

Assessing the Camper Transition and Divested Possessions

May 8, 2024

1:40

Reassessing Channel Purpose and Communication Fit

May 8, 2024

4:55

Weighing Camp Move Against Severe Weather and Channel Reception

May 9, 2024

3:45

Addressing Visibility and Feedback Mechanics on YouTube

May 9, 2024

5:13

Breaking Camp After Flooding, Moving Day Prep

May 9, 2024

1:14

Breaking Camp and Downsizing Gear

May 9, 2024

2:31

Breaking Camp at Flooded Lake Site

May 9, 2024

5:37

Setting Up Camp and Practicing Toward Nevada

May 9, 2024

0:59

Leveling the RV on First Try

May 9, 2024

19:57

Walking to Camper's Cove at Barren River Lake

May 10, 2024

11:15

Building a Miniature Bookshop Model at Camp

May 11, 2024

PUBLIC

May 5, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.20

Density 0.50

Energetic Quality

calm, receptive momentum

Journey Phase

recalibrating

Directional Vector

toward embodied self-sufficiency

Narrative

The morning arrived on its own terms. rswfire woke close to seven, with the sun rather than against it, and sat for a few minutes before saying anything at all — taking in the quiet, and the birds. He noted that the birds don't bother him so much lately, and that he finds this interesting, and that he hasn't processed it yet. He left it there, unresolved by choice, an observation logged rather than explained.

The camera had its own opinions. Reflective dots from the interior lights kept landing on the frame, on his face, and he tried what he could — opening the back window partway, turning more lights on — narrating the troubleshooting as it failed. Through the opened window, the birds came back into the audio. He addressed the people watching directly, first to settle an outstanding item: the mattress. Many of them had given advice. He wanted it clear that he will get one. He has options, he's weighing them, and he intends to contact the seller first to confirm it can be transported in his Jeep. He named the gap plainly — he just hasn't followed through yet — without dressing it up.

Then the current that had actually been running since the day before. He had gotten inspired watching YouTube. He had never heard of art journaling until yesterday, watched a stack of videos on it, and bought supplies, which are shipping to his mom's house. He stated he doesn't think he's ready to try painting, but he'll be glad to have the supplies so he can try again sometime. He described discovering a channel — possibly related, he wasn't sure — belonging to a woman who started painting in her forties, and said he'd mentioned her the day before and was still thinking about her on waking. He is forty-seven. No better time than now, he said, and figured that was probably the point of her channel. Somewhere in the same run of videos he heard a quote he wouldn't try to recite from memory, one that started with believing in yourself, and he noted that a picture on his wall says exactly that, and wondered aloud whether it came from the same source.

The other discovery was a Korean woman's channel, subtitled, showing her days. He described being impressed by how well she lives self-sufficiently in what looked to him like a fairly small space, and said every single recipe he saw, he'd want to try. Rice was in her breakfast, with eggs and a meat he couldn't identify. In one video she turned rice into soup, which struck him — then he caught himself, noting that of course we do that too, he just knows one kind, chicken and rice. From that, the plan: eat breakfast, which is not a thing he does; oatmeal, because that's what they tell us to eat, though he stated he doesn't know if that's good or not anymore and doesn't trust his mind right now; and rice as a staple.

Against the plan, the infrastructure. He doesn't know how much propane he has, knows filling the tank will be a challenge, and is wary of running it down because the fridge needs it while moving. So he hasn't really been cooking on it. He made eggs once in the microwave, which runs slower here — lower wattage, he guessed. The convection oven he still needs to learn. The rice cooker he bought has produced exactly one batch of plain white rice, with butter and salt, good, and nothing since, because he didn't know what to do with it. The grill was replaced after the ignition broke, and he noted it isn't for making eggs anyway. He said he could watch more van lifers, and guaranteed they know how.

He returned to the body. The coffee he made yesterday didn't make him feel good, so he might skip it today, and he registered that as interesting rather than alarming — his body is super sensitive right now through the withdrawal, and he wondered whether the sensitivity is telling him it doesn't like coffee, and merely tolerates it otherwise. Then he set the conclusion down: could have been a fluke, shouldn't judge anything, he just wants experience. He said getting caffeine out of his system would be nice. He connected the derailment of focus to the withdrawal, and said the focus is coming back now.

The center of it came plainly. He said he did this because he knew it would force him to adapt — he doesn't know how he knew, but he really thinks he's right. In the house it wasn't working. He bought a rice cooker there. He bought teas. He never really changed, never really did anything different. Here he can't call DoorDash, and the limits do what intention didn't. He said the plan for the morning was eggs in the microwave, because it's easy and takes a couple minutes. He mentioned the window coverings — helpful, they stabilized the temperature, the air conditioning kicks on far less — and said he misses looking out, that it actually feels like living in a dungeon now, and that they can't become permanent. He credited the commenter who called that one, then turned over what the handle might mean, the letters, the numbers, the way people substitute characters on a license plate. Then he named it: he's rambling now, and that's usually when he ends a video. So he did.

Summary

rswfire records a morning video from inside the camper, noting he woke near 7 a.m. and sat with the quiet and birds, observing that the birds bother him less lately and that he hasn't worked out why. He addresses light dots appearing on camera and opens a back window mid-recording.

He responds to viewer advice about mattresses, stating he has options and will get one, but is first weighing them and wants to confirm transport in his Jeep.

He describes being inspired by YouTube channels found the previous day: art journaling, which he had never heard of and for which he bought supplies shipped to his mom's house; a painter who started in her 40s (channel name approximated as "the unexpected Gypsy"), which he connects to being 47; a quote about believing in yourself, tied to a picture on his wall; and a Korean cooking channel demonstrating self-sufficient living in a small space.

He states an intention to embrace new habits — eating breakfast, making rice a staple, learning nutrition and cooking — while working within constraints: uncertain propane levels, a broken grill ignition, a low-wattage microwave, an unlearned convection oven, and a rice cooker used once. He notes coffee felt off yesterday and attributes heightened bodily sensitivity to withdrawal, which he says derailed his focus and is now lifting.

He mentions window coverings stabilized interior temperature but block his view, and closes when he notices he is rambling.

Environment

Interior of an RV recorded in early morning, roughly 7 AM, with a back window opened partway through. Reflective dots appear on camera from interior lights; window coverings that stabilize interior temperature are in place, and rswfire notes they block his view outward. Birds and quiet are audible in the surrounding field.

The recording is a direct-address video to a viewing audience, referencing prior videos, viewer comments about mattresses, and a commenter handle. Equipment referenced in-frame includes microwave/convection oven, propane system, rice cooker, and a replaced grill. Supplies purchased online are being shipped to his mom's house.

Substrate

rswfire holds the position that environmental constraint is the mechanism of change — that the RV's limits (propane, wattage, no delivery) do the work that intention alone did not do in the house. The architecture being built is a practical operating baseline: food systems, cooking capacity, creative practice, and reduced stimulant load, each sized to current skill and infrastructure. What is being dissolved is reliance on the prior domestic setup's frictionless defaults; what is being built is a new set of habits derived from observed models rather than prescription.

Actions

Performed

•recording a morning video to viewers
•adjusting lights to address camera dots
•clarifying mattress purchase status to commenters
•tracking body response to coffee aloud
•questioning a commenter's username
•ending the video when rambling is noted

Referenced

•woke near sunrise, sat in quiet
•received viewer advice on mattresses
•watched art journaling videos on YouTube
•bought art supplies, shipped to his mom's house
•discovered a painter who started in her 40s
•made a post about a 'believe in yourself' quote
•watched a Korean woman's self-sufficient cooking channel
•made coffee the previous day and noted the physical response
•made eggs once in the microwave
•cooked plain white rice in a rice cooker with butter and salt
•bought a rice cooker and teas while living in the house
•replaced a grill with broken ignition
•installed window coverings that stabilized interior temperature
•opened the back window during recording

Planned

•buy a mattress after confirming Jeep transport
•try art journaling with the purchased supplies
•try painting at some later point
•start eating breakfast
•make rice a dietary staple
•possibly skip coffee today
•reduce caffeine intake overall
•learn to use the convection oven
•identify electric-based camper cooking to conserve propane
•broaden cooking and nutrition knowledge
•make eggs in the microwave
•watch van life channels for cooking methods

Entities

beings

rswfire — Speaker; recording a morning video from his RV, age 47 at time of signal

AP shoot — Commenter handle whose prediction about window coverings proved accurate; name discussed at close

places

his mom's house — Shipping destination for purchased art supplies

systems

YouTube — Recommendation feed described as surfacing art journaling and cooking channels aligned with current need

Jeep — Transport constraint governing mattress selection

propane — Limited, hard-to-refill fuel; governs cooking decisions and fridge operation while moving

convection oven / microwave — Electric cooking capacity, slower than expected; requires learning

rice cooker — Owned appliance used once; designated for expanded use

DoorDash — Named as the unavailable prior default that made change optional

concepts

art journaling — Creative practice newly encountered; supplies purchased

van lifers — Reference population presumed to hold camper cooking knowledge

media

the unexpected Gypsy — Approximate channel name of a woman who began painting in her 40s; cited as timing reference

Korean cooking channel — Subtitled channel showing self-sufficient living and rice-centered meals in a small space; cited as dietary model

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

sunrise

threshold

window

dungeon

fuel

grain

birdsong

blank page

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

recalibrating (habits, diet, and stimulant load being reset against new infrastructure)

constraint-embedded (propane, wattage, and transport limits shape every stated plan)

receptive (external models — painters, cooks, van lifers — taken as usable input)

somatically attentive (body's response to coffee and to birdsong tracked as data)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

somatic (sensitivity to coffee, birds, sleep timing tracked directly)

infrastructural (propane, wattage, window coverings, fridge, grill)

nutritional (breakfast, rice, eggs, oatmeal, caffeine reduction)

creative (art journaling supplies, painting deferred)

cognitive (self-reported focus returning, stated distrust of own judgment during withdrawal)

social/broadcast (direct address to viewers, response to comments and advice)

logistical (mattress selection, transport, shipping to a fixed address)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

embracing change

realistic / what's realistic for me

propane

rice as staple

inspired

force me to adapt

super sensitive

Narrative

Queryable Personhood

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Morning Camper Check-In on Cooking, Creativity, Change

Energetic Quality

Journey Phase

Directional Vector

Tags

Summary

Environment

Substrate

Actions

Performed

Referenced

Planned

Entities

Symbolic Elements

Ontological States

Engaged Subsystems

Dominant Language

Hand your life to anything that reads.