Scouting Lake Cumberland, Visiting Family and Cats

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[0:00] hey everyone hope you're having a good
[0:03] Monday I am heading to my mom's house to
[0:06] see her and my cats 3 and 1/2 hour drive
[0:09] there but I'm going through Lake
[0:11] Cumberland because I fell in love with
[0:13] that place and I just want to check out
[0:16] the state park there I need to do more
[0:18] research before I um make plans for
[0:21] there I'm still going to Mammoth Caves
[0:22] after I leave here on
[0:24] Thursday um but that's my next stop
[0:26] somewhere in Lake Cumberland cuz I plan
[0:28] to spend a long time there a couple
[0:30] months maybe you know I'll just be
[0:31] hopping around I might even do some Moon
[0:33] knocking there looked like you could
[0:34] probably do that there so just have a
[0:37] lot of research I need to do
[0:39] still I love these drives 3 and 1 half
[0:42] hours that's a bit much cuz you know I
[0:44] have to make that drive back so that's
[0:46] really long I think I think my limit's
[0:48] probably somewhere around 2 hours one
[0:51] way um as far as what I would like to be
[0:54] doing
[0:55] but I'm just feeling great I'm feeling
[0:58] so good like
[1:00] I know I'm going to have ups and downs
[1:02] like it's just not going to be over that
[1:04] fast but I'm taking advantage of my own
[1:06] feeling I
[1:08] have really feel like I'm starting to
[1:10] embrace this like I showered this
[1:12] morning at the um you know the shower
[1:15] facilities they're very rustic it's a
[1:18] thing you have to get used to
[1:21] but I
[1:23] mean I feel great so I feel like feel
[1:28] like I'm establishing a routine
[1:31] and just really truly embracing this new
[1:34] life of
[1:35] mine so I'm in
[1:37] Kentucky and I just love it here I'm not
[1:41] a native of here I was born in Michigan
[1:43] but I've lived here a long time and I've
[1:46] stayed here because I think this is one
[1:48] of the most beautiful places in the
[1:50] world I truly believe that I'm going to
[1:53] share some of that with you cuz I'm
[1:55] heading towards Lake Cumberland and just
[1:57] this whole area has this energy to of it
[2:00] is just so pleasant I love it
[2:04] here um you're going to have to deal
[2:06] with
[2:08] my a disgusting windshield and I'm sorry
[2:11] for that I just
[2:13] um wasn't really planning to do this
[2:16] today very
[2:19] spontaneous I feel like I need these
[2:21] sunglasses
[2:22] because I'm
[2:24] still I'm not I'm not at 100% I mean I
[2:28] hav I have good moments in bad moments
[2:30] even throughout the day so it's a good
[2:32] day but there are still bad moments it's
[2:35] like so it's going to take me time I
[2:37] know it is but I'm not going to let it
[2:40] stop me it's not going to hold me back I
[2:43] have a lot I'm going to share with you
[2:44] guys I think over time there's
[2:48] a beautiful
[2:52] world Kentucky is a very special place
[2:55] definitely need to get my GoPro set up
[2:57] and start using my dash cam footage do
[3:00] that's something I could do you know
[3:03] it's got a SD card in it just pull it
[3:05] out just keeps looping video every 1
[3:07] minute so it' be a little cumbersome but
[3:11] you know I think that's what some people
[3:12] do some videos I've seen that's what I
[3:14] think they're doing I mean it's a cloudy
[3:17] day it's probably going to rain it can
[3:20] definitely rain cloud clouds you
[3:23] know I love seeing signs like that for
[3:26] sale 24 Acres
[3:31] one day I'll find my land and I think
[3:33] it's going to be here somewhere in Lake
[3:39] Cumberland very curious about these
[3:41] boats I saw them the other
[3:44] day if you had a place here You' want to
[3:47] get a
[3:49] boat I feel like my camera doesn't do it
[3:51] justice cuz that is a
[3:53] very um very
[3:56] Steep Hill up there I mean it's just
[4:00] it kind of mutes it on camera I sad
[4:03] because it's just it's amazing it's
[4:10] beautiful no this is
[4:12] nothing we still have ways to go Google
[4:15] has gone insane it is not 90 mph down
[4:18] this road like what 90 M an hour it's 55
[4:24] wow I mean I just love these Hills or
[4:27] mountains or I don't know what they are
[4:29] exactly like
[4:30] I know that in
[4:33] Kentucky um it's like the start of the
[4:35] Appalachian Mountain so you
[4:38] know uh some of them are mountains
[4:41] they're just so muted on camera I truly
[4:44] think that this is not depicting what I
[4:46] am seeing it is so beautiful here I mean
[4:50] this is all area that I would love
[4:52] hiking
[4:54] in um this is a place called burksville
[4:56] by the way and it just has a great
[4:59] energy to it when I was driving through
[5:01] here last time it just felt like this
[5:03] could be a
[5:05] place where you might sit down the
[5:08] routs um but I still have 40 minutes to
[5:11] go to get to the state park that I'm
[5:13] trying to get to I just want to check
[5:15] out their
[5:16] campgrounds uh it's in Lake Cumberland
[5:18] we're going to go over a dam it's so
[5:22] awesome it is so cool I cannot wait to
[5:24] show you guys this this just makes me
[5:27] sad
[5:30] they're exploiting resources down
[5:33] there such a beautiful part of this
[5:37] thing it it just just makes me
[5:39] sad saw this last time I came
[5:43] through you know it's a
[5:47] lot we're getting
[5:53] close we're getting
[5:55] close I just love this whole area
[6:01] we are we're about 5 miles from the Lake
[6:03] Cumberland State Resort
[6:05] Park uh I gets even prettier once you
[6:09] get past that though Russell County huh
[6:12] home of Lake Cumberland I mean cuz
[6:14] that's where Lake Cumberland is I mean
[6:16] it's just gorgeous it is
[6:22] beautiful but there are some things
[6:24] along the way we might
[6:26] see it's a beautiful area
[6:31] it's going to get even
[6:33] prer but you could see over see if we
[6:36] can get a cut out Wolf Creek I have to
[6:40] that's the name of the
[6:41] dam
[6:43] definitely want to spend more time over
[6:57] there I mean there's just nature
[6:59] everywhere see that beautiful oh I
[7:02] haven't been to this Overlook yet I
[7:04] almost stopped but I had been driving
[7:06] for so
[7:11] long um I think it might be up
[7:15] there
[7:16] well guess I could do it
[7:23] um let's see
[7:27] here it's beautiful Lake
[7:36] I swear my camera does not do anything
[7:40] Justice oh I didn't realize we're going
[7:42] to get to the damn
[7:44] first it's so cool
[7:47] here you can park over
[7:56] here mean just look at this Lake guys
[8:03] so
[8:06] beautiful so
[8:14] peaceful we have this Dam over here
[8:16] we're going to drive over
[8:19] that I did I tried Googling
[8:22] it and one of the type of heads was the
[8:25] damn
[8:28] failure I didn't read up on it so I
[8:30] don't know what it was about this like
[8:33] goes a long ways it's very like
[8:35] interesting
[8:37] shape this is just a small part of
[8:42] it what the you know Army cor Engineers
[8:45] they built that damn so I'm curious if
[8:49] maybe they have facilities here for
[8:52] RVs just so pretty
[9:03] I didn't see boats out here last time
[9:10] either I mean I hope boats can be on
[9:12] there because wow I I'm shocked there
[9:14] aren't any though in a day like
[9:19] this my camera doesn't do this Justice
[9:22] it truly does
[9:26] not everything looks so muted
[9:29] that hill over there is so much bigger
[9:31] than it looks like in this
[9:33] picture I don't understand truly don't
[9:37] understand this is not what my eyes are
[9:47] seeing I am going to spend so much time
[9:51] here this is where I want to be
[10:00] I just I love Kentucky I have just
[10:02] always loved the mix of nature here and
[10:06] geology absolutely love it this is where
[10:09] I want to be going to spend a lot of
[10:11] time here exploring a
[10:17] lot big
[10:22] truck now find out everything you can do
[10:25] here you know everything I'm going to
[10:27] just spend a lot of time here
[10:31] 10 miles an hour that is difficult to do
[10:35] still not going 10 mil hour
[10:46] 15 hopefully we can see what's on the
[10:49] other
[10:51] side um I don't know that we'll be able
[10:53] to not with me driving on the right side
[10:56] of the road
[10:58] so probably what that spot there is for
[11:01] right should have thought of that I
[11:03] could stop but I am so hungry hoping
[11:07] that the state park has I think it
[11:09] probably has a
[11:11] lodge if it does then they also
[11:15] have um they should have a
[11:18] restaurant but yeah water's very low
[11:21] down
[11:26] there I'd say the dam is working
[11:33] oh it would be bad yeah if it was
[11:35] there's stuff down there there's
[11:43] buildings wonder what it's called over
[11:45] there if that's like Cumberland River or
[11:49] not I mean that's the op well it might
[11:53] be
[11:58] actually me core Engineers built this
[12:00] thing that is just so cool to
[12:10] me Wolf Creek
[12:13] Dam very
[12:15] cool wow
[12:33] it's amazing what humans can
[12:36] do didn't realize the Resort Park was
[12:39] only well 4 miles from
[12:44] here I mean there's the river there's or
[12:48] the lake you know it really I'm going to
[12:51] have to show you it's a really
[12:52] interesting shape so there are there's a
[12:55] lot of places you could be like for
[12:57] miles and then is a second
[13:01] Lake um I forget what it's
[13:04] called but you know I'm going to check
[13:06] all that out too like I mean all of this
[13:08] is beautiful to me not just the lake the
[13:11] lake is gorgeous not really a water
[13:13] person I like nature I like
[13:15] trees you know I guess Lakes are part of
[13:18] nature of course but it's just not the
[13:21] kind of nature I'm attracted to but I
[13:24] this lake is different to me I don't
[13:27] know this area is different to me when I
[13:31] came
[13:32] here it was just an accident and I just
[13:35] was immediately in
[13:41] love right
[13:47] here I'm sorry
[13:50] guys oh I guess we're not here so I have
[13:53] five miles to
[13:56] go that didn't sound good
[14:01] yeah we still have five miles to
[14:06] go State Park Road what's that Apple
[14:15] Valley what's back here Apple Valley I'm
[14:19] going to have to look that
[14:24] up was a turn off on the right I didn't
[14:26] get to show it to you guys
[14:33] drena
[14:41] Road watch for Resident T light I saw a
[14:47] turtle um on in the road right when I
[14:49] was leaving the park
[14:51] earlier really felt worried for that
[14:53] thing he was big too thought about
[14:56] moving him but I was like you know he
[14:57] probably shouldn't and plus he just end
[14:59] up right back
[15:02] there I was worried though it took me a
[15:05] good like like 15 minutes to stop
[15:08] thinking about
[15:09] it just roll just in case I mean there
[15:12] might be a turn off to different things
[15:15] that you know I want to remember
[15:17] and research I don't know after seeing
[15:20] that place up
[15:23] front yeah we still have three miles to
[15:26] go wow
[15:30] I'm guessing this is all part of the
[15:32] park
[15:34] though you know we only saw that one
[15:36] Trail but there could be others in
[15:39] there look like a little picnic spot
[15:42] maybe it's nice just
[15:51] [Music]
[15:53] St I could use a break it's been you
[15:57] know it's still tile it's still tough
[15:59] when I'm going
[16:01] through is what it
[16:04] is here I'm just on an unmarked Trail
[16:08] check this tree
[16:11] out tree canopy it's so beautiful
[16:22] here it would take some effort to hike
[16:25] this Trail
[16:31] this is a nice little spot for a picnic
[16:34] it's basically what this
[16:49] is acorns everywhere
[17:15] truly love Kentucky it's just so
[17:18] beautiful
[17:24] here I fell in love with it the first
[17:26] time I the second and I
[17:29] traveled over the Border fine I was like
[17:32] wow where am I this place is
[17:45] awesome I'm so hungry like I had soup
[17:50] yesterday um I did not eat this morning
[17:53] cuz I haven't been to the store yet
[17:59] I find something to eat soon you can
[18:01] kind of see here how the lake is just I
[18:03] mean that's just a small part of it like
[18:05] it's
[18:07] just an interesting
[18:10] shape it is just so beautiful here it
[18:13] reminds me of the natural brid which is
[18:14] my favorite place on Earth I have
[18:16] explored every inch of that
[18:18] place um but I I want a new place to
[18:21] explore and it's this place and I think
[18:25] uh because it's more south I've noticed
[18:28] in Kentucky
[18:29] the more south you go the longer Autumn
[18:31] lasts I bet it is gorgeous here for just
[18:35] weeks and
[18:37] weeks um you know obviously I mean it's
[18:40] spring summer and it's I love this this
[18:43] this season but I love autumn too and
[18:46] the leaves just fall too fast um in
[18:48] Northern Kentucky
[18:50] so yeah there's a FedEx truck just just
[18:56] skating through here like spe the 25 the
[18:59] ftic driver he's got to be going 50
[19:03] wow scenic view 1,000
[19:06] ft not seeing anything
[19:10] really a lot of trees that's weird oh is
[19:15] this it I bet it
[19:17] is what do we have
[19:22] here oh oh wow okay yeah yeah we have to
[19:28] stop
[19:32] second oh my
[19:35] God I have all my new favorite place
[19:38] like I absolutely love Lake Cumberland
[19:40] this is so
[19:42] amazing you guys are about to see
[19:45] in telling you my camera does not do
[19:50] this Justice it does
[19:52] not oh my God the depth the just
[19:57] everything
[20:02] oh my God I love this so much more than
[20:04] the Natural Bridge it's so
[20:09] beautiful oh you could just sit here and
[20:11] meditate and just Journal right and
[20:15] paint
[20:16] and it's
[20:21] amazing oh this spot is so amazing
[20:31] I am going to have to start
[20:35] learning
[20:36] about photography I guess because this
[20:39] does not do it justice it does
[20:46] not did not realize cell phone cameras
[20:52] were this is just this is just a
[20:56] inspiring I don't think you can see it
[20:59] all either
[21:04] like that little island over there do
[21:06] you know how much I want to be on that
[21:07] little island just sitting there God I
[21:10] would love
[21:13] that we still have a ways to go guys
[21:16] well we just passed the launching ramp
[21:18] so must be able to have boats oh the one
[21:23] of the thing I saw in the reviews is
[21:24] there's a beach here you can a swimming
[21:26] beach you can go swimming here
[21:29] at this park and it's apparently a
[21:32] really nice
[21:33] Beach that was one of the things that
[21:36] people really liked about this place
[21:38] it's just really expensive to stay here
[21:41] and the reviews were not too kind got we
[21:45] still have a mile to go but this guy
[21:48] behind me he's tating me which is just
[21:50] ridiculous this speed limit is 25 going
[21:55] 30 I just don't think people are very
[21:58] concerned
[22:00] anymore really we're on the State Park
[22:04] Road just be
[22:09] respectful okay so camping and Cottages
[22:12] to the left let's go check that out
[22:14] camping
[22:19] area camping is this
[22:23] way in a/4 mile turn left to stay on
[22:26] State Park Road
[22:29] me
[22:46] [Music]
[22:52] that can't tell if they're open or not
[22:58] just going to go check be respectful
[23:00] right it's closed um it says for
[23:03] reservations and stuff to visit some
[23:05] place called perch um p e r c h all dots
[23:09] I goes an
[23:10] acronym have no idea what that is I I
[23:13] know how to make reservations here I
[23:14] don't know what perch is I don't know
[23:16] what that
[23:17] is but let's just see what's back here
[23:22] huh uh Lake Cumberland State Resort Park
[23:25] campground
[23:28] as far as I know it's not very big like
[23:31] one I could swear the reviews I read
[23:33] said something
[23:35] [Music]
[23:36] about
[23:41] um go this way first I guess I mean
[23:44] something about it being very small like
[23:46] hookup like that's probably the area
[23:48] right there yeah that is the area I bet
[23:49] you it is and this is probably more T
[23:52] camping but let's let's just see what we
[23:54] can see
[24:00] yeah I would say this
[24:05] is definitely tend to
[24:13] Camping RV's large Vehicles yeah you
[24:16] don't come back here with an RV so that
[24:18] is it just that little area up there and
[24:20] they charge like a lot I can't remember
[24:24] what it was it was
[24:26] like it was ridiculously expensive it
[24:30] truly
[24:33] was
[24:36] um okay so this is
[24:45] 94 I'm going to say it's called
[24:47] primitive camping right I'm not seeing
[24:48] any like no way to hook anything up
[24:57] so this is why I needed to come in here
[24:59] I just needed to see it for
[25:01] myself there's a water hook up
[25:05] there
[25:08] um definitely not electric no
[25:21] electric so the RV sites really are just
[25:24] these they said there were like nine of
[25:26] them which means they're very close
[25:30] together they're just over here you know
[25:33] that's not appealing to me at all you
[25:36] know it's
[25:38] not so
[25:43] yeah this is not
[25:47] appealing
[25:50] so can't see me stay
[26:00] especially for the price absolutely
[26:03] ridiculous you've got to be kidding
[26:06] me no thank
[26:12] you there's their little
[26:15] um you know they all look the same don't
[26:17] they dump station I feel comfortable
[26:20] with those having only done it
[26:22] once I do I feel comfortable with it
[26:25] this is still a park you want to visit
[26:28] you know
[26:31] um with some luck they have a restaurant
[26:34] here I am so
[26:39] hungry I mean their Lodge would be
[26:41] amazing right I that's truly I think
[26:43] Kentucky does have
[26:45] like the State Resort parks are nice in
[26:48] my opinion I mean there I mean the lodge
[26:51] that hammock lodg is what's in at the
[26:52] Natural Bridge it's basic but the
[26:55] restaurant's awesome
[27:03] so I'm thinking there's probably one
[27:05] here
[27:14] too camping Cottages launch ramp boat
[27:19] trailer
[27:20] parking so they have
[27:26] Cottages cool entrance
[27:29] [Music]
[27:38] oh there's perch
[27:44] okay I know what this
[27:49] is Park Environmental Recreation cons
[27:53] conservation headquarters
[27:59] I mean that does that look like pck golf
[28:02] to
[28:03] you I think it might
[28:11] be well I think they would have made it
[28:16] if they had a lodge here there would
[28:18] have been signs for
[28:21] that
[28:24] so cottages
[28:29] I
[28:31] me where do I park my my camper and St a
[28:36] restaurant thank God I'm
[28:39] starving oh there is a
[28:41] [Music]
[28:45] lodge private residences
[29:04] I always wanted to be a par Ranger
[29:06] partly kind
[29:08] of always considered oh wow that's
[29:13] beautiful
[29:18] Marina so the LOD is here which means
[29:21] the restaurant should be
[29:25] here we hope
[29:28] [Music]
[29:31] think have said
[29:49] though and we got some RVs up
[29:52] here we just left the
[29:54] park stacked on top of each other
[29:58] no thank
[30:00] you no thank
[30:05] you it might be all I can do though you
[30:08] know and that'll be all right I guess if
[30:10] I just don't plan to spend time on my
[30:12] camper cumberlin getaway Cumberland
[30:17] getaway just started
[30:19] raining we just beat the rain now we
[30:23] just got on to like a highway portion of
[30:25] 127
[30:28] so I think I think we'll see lots of the
[30:36] lake probably not going to be able to do
[30:38] that for you
[30:39] guys it's beautiful country guys but
[30:43] Kentucky is just such a beautiful
[30:46] place if you've never been here at defle
[30:50] this is a place I think everbody should
[30:53] see just beautiful arms
[31:00] major I just love everything about this
[31:02] state I really
[31:12] do this is for a very long time was one
[31:15] of my favorite Str of Highway in
[31:22] Kentucky first time I drove through here
[31:25] I was so AED by it like it was was
[31:31] magical so I just left my parents house
[31:35] um I got to see my cats for minut and my
[31:37] mom which was wonderful but we didn't
[31:39] get to really spend any time together
[31:41] partly because it's like such a drive
[31:43] back you know um
[31:46] but there are some family issues going
[31:48] on right now that are preventing me from
[31:50] being able to spend time with
[31:53] though I don't know what to do about it
[31:56] honestly um just going to leave it there
[31:58] for
[31:59] now I'm really not trying to bring my
[32:02] family drama into this
[32:03] channel um I'm was trying to do that at
[32:07] any point just trying to process how I
[32:09] feel about
[32:11] stuff
[32:13] um I got these mixing bowls for my mom
[32:16] and they're very clinky just separate
[32:18] them for now that'll
[32:21] help very
[32:23] clinky you're going to hear those every
[32:25] time I drive in my RV I bet
[32:31] um so before I got there though I got
[32:35] this it happened again like is there not
[32:38] panic attacks I don't know what it is
[32:39] this just a super strong feeling inside
[32:42] of me that just intense and I
[32:45] don't I don't know what it is I don't I
[32:47] truly I can't recognize it and just like
[32:50] it's just intense so you just kind
[32:52] of wait for it to
[32:56] pass um
[33:00] yeah I don't
[33:03] know
[33:07] seriously that was a good day I had a
[33:09] lot of emotion in the drive here just in
[33:11] general like just my mood's not stable
[33:14] my my my mental health is just not
[33:17] stable at all it's
[33:19] terrible um I don't know how long that's
[33:22] going to take I hope
[33:24] it's I mean it is what it is I'm not
[33:26] even going to hope for anything think
[33:28] I'm just going to you
[33:30] know accept it and it will take however
[33:33] long it takes and I know it's getting
[33:36] better you saw how I was this morning
[33:38] you saw how I was all day really
[33:42] um just there are some unresolved things
[33:46] like it really I did not really think
[33:50] about how hard it would
[33:54] be my mom spent so much time with me
[33:56] like I miss her I love her and it's just
[33:59] like wow like I
[34:01] didn't I didn't anticipate just how big
[34:04] of a change that would be and that was
[34:06] so dumb of me I truly regret that part
[34:09] and I didn't know that I'd you know have
[34:11] to rehome my cats Oliver is still hiding
[34:13] from by the way um I don't feel so bad
[34:17] about it because I kind of understand
[34:19] this cat you know and it's like well
[34:22] okay he's found a new home he feels at
[34:23] home and apparently he has attached
[34:26] himself to you know my parents and
[34:29] that's okay I can live with
[34:32] that um so
[34:35] yeah Bailey on the other hand you know a
[34:38] different story
[34:40] I got to figure something out cuz that
[34:43] cat loves me truly like I mean I raised
[34:46] him from 6 weeks old nearly died and you
[34:50] know he's just yeah I and I I don't know
[34:55] when I get maybe when I'm feeling better
[34:57] and that place
[34:58] is in a better State and I don't know
[35:02] we'll try something uh my mom was just
[35:05] saying maybe she'll try to see me for a
[35:07] day at the next Camp FR I'm out of one
[35:09] after that so I should explain my plans
[35:11] I guess I
[35:12] haven't
[35:14] um so I leave Thursday and I'm going
[35:17] back to the Mammoth Caves area for 2
[35:19] weeks and then I'm going to try to get
[35:21] over to Lake Cumberland so that's the
[35:23] plan that's what I want to
[35:25] do um eventually I do want want to head
[35:28] West I just don't know when I feel like
[35:30] I need to I need I just need time I need
[35:33] to get over what I'm dealing with
[35:36] emotionally physically all of that
[35:39] and
[35:41] um I just need to get better at living
[35:45] in a camper CU I'm not real great at it
[35:48] plus I don't have like a routine yet
[35:50] right it's super important no matter
[35:52] where you live or how you live you need
[35:54] some kind of a routine and I just
[35:58] haven't I'm not even
[36:01] close
[36:03] um but I I get there it's like I can see
[36:07] the change happening in me and I'm very
[36:10] proud of myself and
[36:13] excited about what the future has in
[36:16] store I just have to keep breathing and
[36:21] keep moving forward and just all of that
[36:24] right so that's what I'm doing I have a
[36:27] 3-hour drive on my way home it's now
[36:30] it's home my
[36:32] camper um yeah I keep saying this cuz I
[36:40] just first of all I feel like there's
[36:42] just something in my chest right now
[36:44] that's just tried to kill me like I
[36:46] don't understand
[36:47] it um keep real strong it's just so
[36:50] intense here
[36:52] and there's nothing I can do about it
[36:55] except just accept it it'll go away and
[36:57] and
[36:59] then
[37:01] yeah what else so I got a bunch of art
[37:04] supplies that was cool I really do want
[37:07] to try getting creative so I need some
[37:10] kind of
[37:11] outlet and I think that will be nice I
[37:13] want to try that I do I want to try
[37:15] paintings so I truly do I wish I could
[37:19] you know what you my first pain was
[37:22] terrible but they're supposed to be like
[37:25] why am I judging that when I would just
[37:28] really love to be able to paint a
[37:29] picture like Bob Ross I would just love
[37:31] to be able to paint a nature
[37:33] picture you know that's my goal
[37:36] um I didn't even know that was a goal I
[37:38] guess it's a goal now my emotions are
[37:40] all over the
[37:43] place I have to give myself time it's
[37:46] going to probably a lot of time started
[37:49] thinking back to my old videos and there
[37:51] was this one where I was dancing in it
[37:54] and with Oliver that's kind of sad know
[37:58] you um and we
[38:02] just I was cleaning the living room out
[38:05] you know just I was so
[38:09] happy about what I was doing and just
[38:12] all of my old videos are like that just
[38:14] preparing and planning and excited and
[38:17] humming and all of that I never knew the
[38:21] tram withdraw would kill me like this
[38:23] like it just
[38:25] sucks really wish I'd realize you know
[38:29] or I would have handled that
[38:31] differently I just I couldn't have I had
[38:35] no
[38:37] idea I'm really disappointed in my
[38:40] doctor because I've known that man for
[38:42] decades and I feel like he's responsible
[38:44] for my heal and he is not being
[38:49] responsible right
[38:52] now
[38:53] so just I'll never see another doctor
[38:56] again I don't think I just don't see how
[38:58] I
[39:00] could yeah I'm just going to leave it
[39:03] there guys I really hope you guys had a
[39:05] good day by the time you see this I have
[39:07] no idea I got a lot of piecing you know
[39:09] I got to piece it all together and um
[39:12] the internet's very slow at that
[39:14] Campground so it might be the middle of
[39:16] the night before it
[39:18] uploads but it was a fun day I really
[39:21] did enjoy seeing that um well seeing the
[39:24] lake and seeing the campground
[39:27] um the state park the campground you
[39:29] know that was pretty crappy but um the
[39:31] state park and that
[39:35] area I look forward to being there but I
[39:38] won't be there not I'm going to be in
[39:39] Mammoth Cave so I need to do some
[39:41] research there and find some things I
[39:42] can do some activities some hiking
[39:44] things like that because that's
[39:46] important like I shouldn't spend all my
[39:49] time in that camper or on the
[39:51] campgrounds I need to get out I need to
[39:53] that was a big part of this for me
[39:55] was so I'm going to do that that's what
[39:59] I'm going to do
6:58
Handing Off Cats and Leaving the House
Apr 30, 2024
5:29
Recalibrating Route Plan Mid-Drive Through Tennessee
May 1, 2024
12:08
Day 21 Systems Check and Final Walkthrough
May 1, 2024
13:46
Moving Sites, Restocking, Renaming the Channel
May 1, 2024
17:15
Dumping Tanks and Repositioning to New Site
May 2, 2024
2:07
Acknowledging Loneliness as Structural Recalibration
May 2, 2024
12:20
Recording Post-Withdrawal Day at New Campground Site
May 2, 2024
8:07
Recounting the Land Deal and Choosing the Camper
May 2, 2024
0:50
Rerouting Travel Plans at Lake Cumberland
May 3, 2024
6:33
Addressing Tramadol Withdrawal Timeline and Channel Direction
May 4, 2024
3:28
Morning Camper Routine and Tramadol Withdrawal Notes
May 4, 2024
1:34
Reassigning Freed Storage Space Under the Bed
May 4, 2024
1:28
Sharing Wooden Book-Folding Hobby on Camera
May 4, 2024
11:00
Organizing Camper, Naming Land and Cabin Goal
May 4, 2024
37:19
Preparing Travel Day With Cats and Withdrawal Plan
May 5, 2024
8:16
Documenting Withdrawal Recurrence and Severing Medical Trust
May 5, 2024
13:28
Morning Camper Check-In on Cooking, Creativity, Change
May 5, 2024
2:21
Planning a Store Run and Learning to Cook
May 5, 2024
13:07
Trying Tea for the First Time After Showers
May 5, 2024
1:08
Recording Birdsong at Siltcoos
May 6, 2024
6:06
Building a Fire and Stating Motivations
May 6, 2024
2:55
Recording Empty Campground at Siltcoos
May 6, 2024
7:27
Recording a 6 AM Walk at the Campsite
May 6, 2024
7:53
Revisiting Spirituality and Agnosticism at Camp
May 6, 2024
40:00
Scouting Lake Cumberland, Visiting Family and Cats
May 7, 2024
11:01
Morning Fog Walk, BetterHelp Exit, Substitution Plans
May 7, 2024
1:26
Recording Road Incident After Braking for Squirrel
May 7, 2024
10:57
Organizing Camper Storage and Returning to Nature
May 7, 2024
3:35
Assessing the Camper Transition and Divested Possessions
May 8, 2024
1:40
Reassessing Channel Purpose and Communication Fit
May 8, 2024
4:55
Weighing Camp Move Against Severe Weather and Channel Reception
May 9, 2024
3:45
Addressing Visibility and Feedback Mechanics on YouTube
May 9, 2024
5:13
Breaking Camp After Flooding, Moving Day Prep
May 9, 2024
1:14
Breaking Camp and Downsizing Gear
May 9, 2024
2:31
Breaking Camp at Flooded Lake Site
May 9, 2024
5:37
Setting Up Camp and Practicing Toward Nevada
May 9, 2024
0:59
Leveling the RV on First Try
May 9, 2024
19:57
Walking to Camper's Cove at Barren River Lake
May 10, 2024
11:15
Building a Miniature Bookshop Model at Camp
May 11, 2024
6:47
Planning Trail Hiking and Oven Cooking in Kentucky
May 11, 2024
4:59
Retrieving the Cat, Documenting a Complicated Day
May 13, 2024
PUBLIC
May 7, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED
Temp 0.30
Density 0.60
Energetic Quality
mobile and wide-open, with intermittent high-amplitude interior surges
Journey Phase
transitional — early residence in a newly adopted mode of living
Directional Vector
toward land, routine, and a self-selected place to root
Narrative

He showered that morning at the campground's rustic facilities — a thing he states you have to get used to — and by the time the truck was on the road he had decided the day was good. Three and a half hours to his mother's house, and he was routing it through Lake Cumberland on purpose. The camera came up unplanned, aimed through a windshield he apologized for twice. Sunglasses on. He said he was not at one hundred percent, that there were good moments and bad moments even inside a single day, and then he said this was a good day and drove into it.

South-central Kentucky opened up in front of the lens and immediately failed to arrive there. He said it over and over — my camera doesn't do it justice — watching hills he wasn't sure whether to call hills or mountains flatten into something muted on the screen while his eyes registered depth the frame couldn't hold. He named the start of the Appalachians. He noted a sign for twenty-four acres and said one day he'd find his land, and that he thought it would be here. Burkesville came and went with what he described as a great energy, a place where a person might set down roots. Google told him the speed limit was ninety on a fifty-five road and he laughed at it. A FedEx truck ran the twenty-five at fifty. A turtle he'd seen in the road that morning had stayed with him fifteen minutes after he decided not to move it.

The dam arrived before he expected it. He pulled off, got out, and stood over Wolf Creek — the long strange shape of the lake running off past what the frame could contain, the water low enough that he said the dam was clearly working, buildings visible down in the gorge. He noted the Army Corps built it and said it was amazing what humans can do. He said he wasn't a water person, that he liked trees and nature and geology, that lakes weren't usually the kind of nature he was drawn to — and then said this lake was different, that he'd found it by accident and fell in love immediately. This is where I want to be. He said it twice, standing there hungry, having eaten soup the day before and nothing that morning.

Between the dam and the park he stopped twice more. An unmarked trail under a tree canopy, acorns everywhere, a spot he read as a picnic site and a hike that would take some effort. Then the scenic view he almost drove past, where he stopped mid-sentence and said he loved it more than the Natural Bridge — the place he calls his favorite on earth, the one he says he has explored every inch of. He wanted a new place to explore. He was looking at it. There was a small island out in the water and he said how much he wanted to be sitting on it. He said he'd have to learn photography, because none of this was transmitting.

Then the survey turned cold and precise. He drove the campground loops reading them against a standard he could state exactly: hookups, electric, water, spacing, price against amenities. Tent sites back where no RV should go. A water spigot, no electric. Nine RV sites stacked close together. That's not appealing to me at all. Especially for the price. No thank you. He drove the dump station and said he felt comfortable with it, having done it once. He found the cottages, the launch ramp, PERCH — Park Environmental Recreation Conservation Headquarters, decoded from an acronym he'd puzzled over at the closed office — and finally the lodge and marina, and a restaurant, and he was starving. He mentioned he had always considered being a park ranger. On the way out he passed RVs stacked on top of each other and said no thank you twice more, then allowed that it might be all he can do, and that would be all right, if he didn't plan to spend time inside the camper anyway. The rain started as he hit the highway and he said they'd beaten it.

The last recording came after. Dusk, rain, the RV cab, mixing bowls he'd bought for his mother clinking against each other in the back until he separated them. He said he got to see his mother and his cats for a few minutes and that it was wonderful and that they didn't get to spend real time together — the drive back, and family issues he named as present and then deliberately bounded off from the channel. Before he arrived, he said, it happened again: something intense in him he cannot name, that he does not know whether to call a panic attack, that he waits out because there is nothing else to do. He said his mood was not stable. He said he was not going to hope for anything about the timeline, that it would take however long it took, and that he knew it was getting better. He said he hadn't anticipated how big a change leaving his mother's proximity would be. Oliver, he said, has attached to his parents and found a home, and he can live with that. Bailey is a different matter, a cat he raised from six weeks, and he stated he has to figure something out — maybe later, when he's feeling better and the place is in a better state.

He talked about the tramadol then, and about the doctor he has known for decades, and stated plainly that he holds the man responsible for his health and that the man is not being responsible. He said he doesn't think he'll see another doctor. He said he never knew the withdrawal would do this. Then he moved: art supplies bought that day, a want to paint, a goal he said he didn't know he had until he heard himself say it — a nature picture, like Bob Ross. Thursday he leaves for Mammoth Cave for two weeks, then Lake Cumberland, then west eventually, when he's ready. He said he needs to get better at living in a camper, that he doesn't have a routine yet and a routine matters no matter how a person lives, and that he isn't close. He said he could see the change happening in him and was proud of it. Somewhere in the middle of the plan he called the camper home, corrected himself to mark it — it's now home, my camper — and kept driving, three hours left, chest pressure and all, saying the thing he'd say again about the rest of it: he's not going to spend all his time on the campground, he needs to get out, that was a big part of why he did this.

Tags

road documentation campground scouting Lake Cumberland RV living logistics family visit cats rehomed medication withdrawal

Summary

rswfire records a drive from his campground toward Lake Cumberland, Kentucky, en route to his mother's house — a 3.5-hour trip each way. He states he loves these drives but names roughly two hours one way as his practical limit.

He narrates the route through Burkesville and over Wolf Creek Dam, built by the Army Corps of Engineers, stopping at an overlook he describes as surpassing the Natural Bridge, his prior favorite place. He repeatedly notes his camera does not capture the scale or depth of what he sees. He scouts the Lake Cumberland State Resort Park campground and concludes the RV sites are cramped, primitive, water-only with no electric, and overpriced — not appealing. He identifies PERC as the Park Environmental Recreation Conservation headquarters and locates the lodge, restaurant, and marina.

Stated plans: Mammoth Cave for two weeks after Thursday, then an extended stay of possibly a couple of months around Lake Cumberland, with eventual movement west and an interest in eventually buying land there.

On the return leg he reports seeing his mother and cats briefly, that unnamed family issues limited the visit, that Oliver has attached to his parents while Bailey remains unsettled for him, and that he experienced an intense physical sensation in his chest he cannot identify. He describes tramadol withdrawal, dissatisfaction with his longtime doctor, new art supplies and a goal of painting landscapes, and the need to build a routine in the camper.

Environment

Recorded from inside a vehicle in motion across south-central Kentucky, dash-mounted camera pointed through a windshield rswfire notes is dirty, on a 3.5-hour drive from his campground toward his parents' house. Route runs through Burkesville, Russell County, across Wolf Creek Dam, and into Lake Cumberland State Resort Park.

Segments break from the vehicle: a stop at a Lake Cumberland overlook, an unmarked trail with tree canopy and acorns, a drive-through survey of the park campground loops, dump station, cottages, PERCH headquarters, lodge and marina. Final section recorded after leaving his parents' house, in the RV cab with mixing bowls rattling, at dusk with rain starting.

Substrate

The architecture being held is site-selection: rswfire is running a live survey of terrain against a standard he can state precisely — depth, geology, tree cover, autumn length, hookup infrastructure, price, spacing between sites — and returning verdicts in real time. Underneath the survey is the construction of a new operating baseline after a full dissolution of the prior one: house, career, cats, proximity to family, and a decades-long pharmaceutical dependency all removed at once, with the camper named as home mid-sentence. He treats the resulting somatic surges and mood variability as conditions to be waited out rather than resolved, and states that a routine — not relief — is the missing structural element.

Actions

Performed

  • •driving and narrating continuously
  • •filming terrain, hills, and lake through the windshield
  • •stopping at a scenic overlook
  • •walking an unmarked trail and filming the canopy
  • •driving over Wolf Creek Dam
  • •surveying campground loops, hookups, dump station, and RV spacing
  • •reading and decoding park signage including PERCH
  • •assessing site price against amenities and rejecting it
  • •stating a 2-hour one-way driving limit
  • •naming an intense chest sensation as it occurs and waiting it out
  • •stating his mood is unstable and that he will accept the timeline

Referenced

  • •fell in love with Lake Cumberland on an accidental first pass
  • •showered at rustic campground facilities
  • •read reviews of the state park campground
  • •googled Wolf Creek Dam and encountered a dam-failure headline
  • •rehomed Oliver and Bailey with his parents
  • •raised Bailey from six weeks old
  • •left a house and prior life; recorded earlier videos of packing and clearing rooms
  • •discontinued tramadol
  • •ate soup the previous day; skipped breakfast
  • •saw a large turtle in the road leaving the park
  • •explored every inch of Natural Bridge
  • •dumped RV tanks once
  • •bought mixing bowls for his mother and a set of art supplies
  • •visited his mother and cats briefly

Planned

  • •leave Thursday for the Mammoth Cave area for two weeks
  • •return to Lake Cumberland for a possible couple of months
  • •research boondocking options around the lake
  • •research hiking and activities near Mammoth Cave
  • •set up the GoPro and pull dash cam SD footage
  • •learn photography
  • •start painting, aiming at Bob Ross-style nature scenes
  • •establish a daily routine in the camper
  • •eventually head west
  • •buy land in the Lake Cumberland area
  • •work out an arrangement to get Bailey back
  • •meet his mother at a future campground for a day

Entities

beings
Oliver — Cat rehomed to his parents; described as attached to them and settled
Bailey — Cat raised from six weeks old; unresolved arrangement he intends to change
his mother — Visited briefly this day; recipient of the mixing bowls; may meet him at a future campground
his doctor — Decades-long physician he names as responsible for his health and states is not being responsible now
places
Lake Cumberland — Primary destination and stated candidate site for extended stay and eventual land purchase
Lake Cumberland State Resort Park — Park surveyed on this drive; campground assessed and rejected, lodge and marina located
Burkesville — Town passed through; described as having a great energy and possible place to settle
Russell County — County line crossed, signed as home of Lake Cumberland
Kentucky — Long-term chosen residence, named as one of the most beautiful places in the world
Michigan — Birth state, named in contrast to Kentucky
Mammoth Cave — Next confirmed stop, two weeks beginning Thursday
Natural Bridge — Prior favorite place on Earth, fully explored; benchmark Lake Cumberland is measured against and exceeds
Hemlock Lodge — Lodge at Natural Bridge, cited as basic with an excellent restaurant
Appalachian Mountains — Geological frame he uses to classify the hills he is filming
Cumberland Getaway — Private RV park passed on exit, sites stacked close together, rejected on spacing
systems
Wolf Creek Dam — Army Corps of Engineers structure driven across; object of sustained interest and a googled failure headline
Army Corps of Engineers — Builder of the dam; cited as the reason he checks for federal RV facilities nearby
PERCH — Park Environmental Recreation and Conservation Headquarters; acronym on the reservation sign, decoded on site
tramadol — Discontinued medication; withdrawal named as the source of the current physical and mood conditions
media
Bob Ross — Named standard for the kind of nature painting he wants to be able to produce
GoPro / dash cam — Capture equipment not yet integrated into his recording workflow

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

dam
road
threshold
overlook
island
canopy
lens/frame limit
water level
turtle
land
acorn
rain

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

transitional (first weeks of a full-time mobile life he explicitly names as new)
sovereign (every site, route, and stay length evaluated against his own criteria and rejected or accepted on his terms)
embedded (continuous somatic and perceptual contact with terrain; repeated statement that the camera cannot render what his eyes register)
recalibrating (physiological withdrawal and mood variability tracked as conditions to be waited through, not resolved)
unrooted (no routine yet, home named as the camper mid-sentence)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

somatic (chest pressure, hunger, unnamed intense internal surges tracked in real time)
perceptual (continuous comparison of camera output against direct visual registration of depth and scale)
geological/ecological (hills, Appalachian classification, tree canopy, autumn duration by latitude)
infrastructural (hookups, electric, water, dump station, site spacing, lodge, marina, launch ramp)
logistical (drive-time limits, route planning, two-week and multi-month stay sequencing)
economic (site pricing weighed against amenities, land for sale noted)
relational (mother, cats, unnamed family issues bounded off from the channel)
medical (tramadol discontinuation, stated loss of confidence in his physician)
creative (art supplies, painting goal, photography, camera workflow)
documentary (narration for an audience, upload constrained by campground bandwidth)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

my camera does not do it justice
this is where I want to be
routine
one day I'll find my land
good moments and bad moments
it's home, my camper
no thank you / not appealing
Narrative

He showered that morning at the campground's rustic facilities — a thing he states you have to get used to — and by the time the truck was on the road he had decided the day was good. Three and a half hours to his mother's house, and he was routing it through Lake Cumberland on purpose. The camera came up unplanned, aimed through a windshield he apologized for twice. Sunglasses on. He said he was not at one hundred percent, that there were good moments and bad moments even inside a single day, and then he said this was a good day and drove into it.

South-central Kentucky opened up in front of the lens and immediately failed to arrive there. He said it over and over — my camera doesn't do it justice — watching hills he wasn't sure whether to call hills or mountains flatten into something muted on the screen while his eyes registered depth the frame couldn't hold. He named the start of the Appalachians. He noted a sign for twenty-four acres and said one day he'd find his land, and that he thought it would be here. Burkesville came and went with what he described as a great energy, a place where a person might set down roots. Google told him the speed limit was ninety on a fifty-five road and he laughed at it. A FedEx truck ran the twenty-five at fifty. A turtle he'd seen in the road that morning had stayed with him fifteen minutes after he decided not to move it.

The dam arrived before he expected it. He pulled off, got out, and stood over Wolf Creek — the long strange shape of the lake running off past what the frame could contain, the water low enough that he said the dam was clearly working, buildings visible down in the gorge. He noted the Army Corps built it and said it was amazing what humans can do. He said he wasn't a water person, that he liked trees and nature and geology, that lakes weren't usually the kind of nature he was drawn to — and then said this lake was different, that he'd found it by accident and fell in love immediately. This is where I want to be. He said it twice, standing there hungry, having eaten soup the day before and nothing that morning.

Between the dam and the park he stopped twice more. An unmarked trail under a tree canopy, acorns everywhere, a spot he read as a picnic site and a hike that would take some effort. Then the scenic view he almost drove past, where he stopped mid-sentence and said he loved it more than the Natural Bridge — the place he calls his favorite on earth, the one he says he has explored every inch of. He wanted a new place to explore. He was looking at it. There was a small island out in the water and he said how much he wanted to be sitting on it. He said he'd have to learn photography, because none of this was transmitting.

Then the survey turned cold and precise. He drove the campground loops reading them against a standard he could state exactly: hookups, electric, water, spacing, price against amenities. Tent sites back where no RV should go. A water spigot, no electric. Nine RV sites stacked close together. That's not appealing to me at all. Especially for the price. No thank you. He drove the dump station and said he felt comfortable with it, having done it once. He found the cottages, the launch ramp, PERCH — Park Environmental Recreation Conservation Headquarters, decoded from an acronym he'd puzzled over at the closed office — and finally the lodge and marina, and a restaurant, and he was starving. He mentioned he had always considered being a park ranger. On the way out he passed RVs stacked on top of each other and said no thank you twice more, then allowed that it might be all he can do, and that would be all right, if he didn't plan to spend time inside the camper anyway. The rain started as he hit the highway and he said they'd beaten it.

The last recording came after. Dusk, rain, the RV cab, mixing bowls he'd bought for his mother clinking against each other in the back until he separated them. He said he got to see his mother and his cats for a few minutes and that it was wonderful and that they didn't get to spend real time together — the drive back, and family issues he named as present and then deliberately bounded off from the channel. Before he arrived, he said, it happened again: something intense in him he cannot name, that he does not know whether to call a panic attack, that he waits out because there is nothing else to do. He said his mood was not stable. He said he was not going to hope for anything about the timeline, that it would take however long it took, and that he knew it was getting better. He said he hadn't anticipated how big a change leaving his mother's proximity would be. Oliver, he said, has attached to his parents and found a home, and he can live with that. Bailey is a different matter, a cat he raised from six weeks, and he stated he has to figure something out — maybe later, when he's feeling better and the place is in a better state.

He talked about the tramadol then, and about the doctor he has known for decades, and stated plainly that he holds the man responsible for his health and that the man is not being responsible. He said he doesn't think he'll see another doctor. He said he never knew the withdrawal would do this. Then he moved: art supplies bought that day, a want to paint, a goal he said he didn't know he had until he heard himself say it — a nature picture, like Bob Ross. Thursday he leaves for Mammoth Cave for two weeks, then Lake Cumberland, then west eventually, when he's ready. He said he needs to get better at living in a camper, that he doesn't have a routine yet and a routine matters no matter how a person lives, and that he isn't close. He said he could see the change happening in him and was proud of it. Somewhere in the middle of the plan he called the camper home, corrected himself to mark it — it's now home, my camper — and kept driving, three hours left, chest pressure and all, saying the thing he'd say again about the rest of it: he's not going to spend all his time on the campground, he needs to get out, that was a big part of why he did this.

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