[0:00]
good morning human
[0:04]
counterparts oh it's a new
[0:07]
day
[0:09]
Sunday it's today Sunday
[0:13]
yeah 6:30 in the morning I woke up
[0:16]
around
[0:18]
3 stayed up for a while just chatting
[0:21]
with Claude and then I went back to
[0:22]
sleep for an hour got up around 5 I
[0:25]
think it
[0:27]
was today I clean the Ys
[0:31]
that is a feeling that I haven't had to
[0:33]
feel in a very long time that Dreadful
[0:36]
oh my God I have to do this boring awful
[0:41]
work
[0:47]
thing but I'm going to do
[0:51]
it 20 days that's how many times I got
[0:54]
to do this before I get to move to the
[0:56]
next Campground so 20 days we're going
[1:00]
to be counting those down they're not on
[1:01]
a row you
[1:03]
know get two days off Fridays and
[1:06]
Saturdays so we're doing this for the
[1:08]
next 5 days oh
[1:13]
man we'll get through it I just I don't
[1:16]
know what to expect at all uh I don't
[1:18]
know what made me think I would be
[1:21]
comfortable with
[1:24]
this
[1:25]
volunteering to clean the Ys cuz I know
[1:29]
how humans are like I see those shower
[1:31]
houses I know how humans are I've had a
[1:33]
whole year of experience of how people
[1:35]
treat public SP spaces and like it's
[1:38]
awful but everyone I talk to tells me it
[1:41]
only takes like 20 minutes to clean them
[1:45]
so
[1:48]
um say I deep clean some Yurts I'm going
[1:51]
to talk to my boss about that today I'm
[1:53]
totally willing to do it but I was
[1:54]
thinking you know I love my daylight
[1:57]
hours we only get so many a lot of those
[2:00]
tases all indoors you're cleaning
[2:02]
indoors so maybe I can do some of that
[2:03]
at night I'll see if she'll let me do
[2:05]
that cuz they're if they're deep
[2:07]
cleaning them they're not
[2:09]
available um to be registered they're
[2:12]
just sitting there so why can't I do
[2:14]
that at night that seems like a thing I
[2:15]
could probably get away with so um
[2:20]
yeah today will be the first time
[2:22]
actually spending real time with
[2:24]
her that should be interesting I haven't
[2:26]
decided like can't decide if
[2:31]
how well her and
[2:33]
I mesh with each other like I just I
[2:36]
can't figure that out at first I thought
[2:37]
it would be like totally natural fit and
[2:40]
then I'm just not sure we'll find out
[2:42]
today today I get to drive a golf
[2:47]
cart which for some reason seems really
[2:49]
fun to me so I'm going to be asking can
[2:52]
we just drive that thing around the
[2:53]
campground for a little while you know
[2:55]
so I get used to the thing it's got
[2:57]
nothing to deal with having fun just got
[2:59]
to try the thing out make sure I
[3:01]
understand how they
[3:05]
work so yeah it's going to be an
[3:07]
interesting
[3:09]
day I'm just sitting here vibing to this
[3:11]
song I've been listening to this song
[3:12]
since yesterday I discovered it
[3:14]
yesterday this is a great song it's
[3:18]
called Just A Cloud by lose sign l u s i
[3:22]
n e I listened to a bunch of their other
[3:25]
music did not like it this song this
[3:27]
song is just perfect
[3:30]
took this song out to the last night I
[3:32]
went out not like last night last it was
[3:34]
like 600 p.m. I walked out to the lake
[3:38]
to the dock there it was completely dark
[3:40]
but you know that
[3:43]
early VI into this
[3:46]
song Try Not To Be Afraid of the Dark
[3:49]
cuz like I'm out there on the dock and
[3:50]
I'm like man this a little bit scary
[3:53]
these noises and what's in that water
[3:55]
and you
[3:57]
know your mind can get a little bit car
[4:00]
away I actually made a clip about this I
[4:01]
I'll try to remember to share it at the
[4:03]
end of
[4:07]
this so I'm just sitting here drinking
[4:09]
my coffee I'm going to make a bagel this
[4:12]
morning and I want to make a smoothie
[4:14]
but that feels like a lot of work only
[4:17]
cuz I don't do it a lot yet so I've only
[4:19]
done it once
[4:23]
so get to experiment with my different
[4:25]
Frozen fruits so so we'll try that you
[4:28]
know could be real good for
[4:35]
me I was thinking I might start walking
[4:37]
out to the lake in the
[4:40]
mornings maybe even before it's laid out
[4:43]
because that was not a bad walk that was
[4:46]
totally
[4:47]
manageable and I could do that before I
[4:49]
go to the shower housee so you know
[4:51]
basically soon it's almost 700 in the
[4:53]
morning so could do
[4:57]
that I need a bagel first though
[5:01]
so yeah that's all I got going on right
[5:03]
now
[5:04]
I am dreading this yurt thing but it's
[5:08]
probably not going to be as bad as I'm
[5:09]
imagining so you know we'll find out I'm
[5:13]
very excited about moving to the next
[5:14]
Campground I just for some reason think
[5:16]
that that is exactly where I need to
[5:19]
be how to make a bagel get your ninja
[5:22]
foodie out put on an air crisp defaults
[5:27]
it put on 350 it defaults at 20 minutes
[5:29]
let that be on for 2 minutes so it gets
[5:31]
to 18 minutes and put your bagels in and
[5:33]
wait for that to get to 15 minutes which
[5:35]
means you've let it sit there for 3
[5:36]
minutes your bagel are ready and you
[5:39]
bring them over here to this paper towel
[5:40]
put them there put some butter on and
[5:43]
whatever else you want today we're going
[5:44]
with cream cheese some crappy generic
[5:47]
stuff that don't taste all that good and
[5:49]
we're putting whole olives on it because
[5:52]
that is good just got to be real
[5:54]
careful while eating it cuz they like to
[5:55]
roll off and just like that we have
[5:58]
perfect bagel
[6:00]
we're on the E Lake Trail maybe a mile
[6:03]
or so in it's a nice pleasant morning
[6:06]
it's probably like 8:30 or something
[6:07]
like
[6:08]
that yeah no no little dragons on the
[6:11]
ground I just seen one so far so they
[6:13]
must not be morning creatures so that's
[6:16]
good news we can take this Dr the
[6:18]
mornings just heading up to where
[6:21]
the um this little here it is a little
[6:24]
seating area up here wonder if maybe I
[6:27]
left my earbuds there
[6:29]
I don't know where else to look so
[6:31]
figured might as well try not seeing
[6:37]
them I want my earbuds
[6:42]
back yeah it wasn't very likely that
[6:45]
they were up
[6:47]
here I thought maybe I took them off and
[6:49]
just laid them down
[6:51]
here don't look like
[6:54]
it there's the lake very nice very
[6:58]
pleasant
[7:04]
very
[7:05]
peaceful I'm in the day us area hiding
[7:08]
for my boss I saw her this morning she
[7:12]
waved I gave her a PE sign she didn't
[7:14]
come over though so I left her a message
[7:17]
this morning I was like when do I start
[7:20]
don't know so technically I'm not doing
[7:22]
anything wrong but I saw on that stupid
[7:25]
schedule I'm being trained today to
[7:27]
train a YT
[7:31]
I don't like
[7:32]
this these are going to be a very
[7:35]
difficult 20 days what did I do to
[7:37]
myself maybe I should just go but no I
[7:40]
need that other job I want the other job
[7:43]
I don't know how to get out of this
[7:46]
one oh
[7:49]
man there's really not that much to do
[7:52]
though one person checked in
[7:55]
today and they're and that's it so like
[7:58]
there's a bunch of them so a bunch of us
[8:01]
going to clean one y so you know there's
[8:03]
not a lot to do do stuff around the
[8:07]
park pretend to do stuff I guess I don't
[8:11]
know oh man what is she doing I seen her
[8:15]
walking around and stuff I wonder what
[8:16]
she does when she does
[8:19]
that I want to be a park
[8:21]
ranger I really need to work on my
[8:23]
attitude right like maybe maybe I'm not
[8:26]
saying I need to we'll see though
[8:30]
I have a feeling to want me to start at
[8:32]
10 I just have a feeling about this
[8:33]
that's in a half an
[8:35]
hour so she'll come look at for me
[8:38]
probably call me or
[8:40]
something we can go get lost
[8:44]
somewhere it's nice little
[8:48]
Park saw a man fishing it was
[8:53]
attractive out there by
[8:55]
himself had caught anything
[8:59]
he's been at it for hours cuz he's still
[9:01]
here I think that's his truck over there
[9:03]
I'm learning the lay of the land with
[9:05]
the locals are and stuff like that I
[9:07]
don't imagine everything that happens
[9:09]
here there was another person here with
[9:11]
the dog very early in the morning
[9:13]
probably does it every day or often we
[9:16]
learn these things cuz that's what we
[9:20]
do I want to clean the Earth so
[9:24]
boring wearing a nicotine patch cuz I
[9:26]
just know that's going to be a challenge
[9:28]
too
[9:32]
I wonder if that trail is it was flooded
[9:34]
the other day I don't know if I can get
[9:36]
on that
[9:38]
trail go check it out though I
[9:41]
guess we're done with training oh my
[9:45]
God it was not so bad they're little
[9:48]
tiny Yurts it takes like 20 minutes to
[9:50]
clean
[9:51]
them it not so bad the deep cleaning
[9:54]
thing that's a big deal oh my God but
[9:56]
she said I can do it at night so cuz I
[9:59]
get so bored in here because there's
[10:01]
nothing to do in this freaking RV and
[10:04]
you know I like my daylight hours
[10:06]
so I can do that at night and I'll get
[10:10]
it done I got till Thursday to get that
[10:13]
done so it'll be all right it went well
[10:17]
I
[10:18]
think didn't drive the golf cart she
[10:21]
left it for me I was like please take
[10:22]
that back cuz I didn't even want to like
[10:24]
try try and get that back into the space
[10:26]
it came
[10:27]
from um guess I was being a little bit
[10:30]
of a coward
[10:35]
there I don't know I don't know whatever
[10:39]
so yeah it's going to be okay I guess I
[10:42]
guess so I went down to the
[10:45]
Y and there were two of the volunteers
[10:48]
like right in front of it they were
[10:49]
talking to stuff so we ended up talking
[10:52]
they all know somehow that I'm going to
[10:54]
Honeyman already like this just happened
[10:57]
like it's not even official yet but
[10:58]
somehow they all
[11:00]
know how do it spread that
[11:03]
fast they were nice though they seem
[11:08]
friendly
[11:10]
um but how do they know already like
[11:13]
that just seems like a little like the
[11:16]
obvious little gossip nwork going on
[11:18]
around
[11:19]
here I do have a lot to do with that
[11:22]
deep cleaning gear but I just I'm like
[11:24]
you know what I'm I will start in the
[11:28]
morning I get up early so I'll just go
[11:31]
down there in the morning do whatever I
[11:33]
got to do I'll do
[11:36]
this I'll try to like I'll never enjoy
[11:40]
it I might pretend that I would cuz I I
[11:42]
won't but um it needs to get done and
[11:46]
that's you know that's part of managing
[11:47]
a park I guess is things have to get
[11:49]
done
[11:51]
so um my boss she's nice but she's not
[11:54]
what I thought like you would think that
[11:56]
somebody who had this whole alternative
[11:58]
present ation was more likely but we did
[12:01]
not communicate well like she didn't
[12:03]
understand me half the time like my
[12:05]
integrated speaking style like
[12:08]
completely misunderstood like through
[12:09]
her lens it was it was so different from
[12:12]
what I was saying and I'm just like man
[12:15]
like that's that sucks I kept saying I
[12:18]
want to be a gatekeeper and she kept
[12:20]
saying they don't have Gatekeepers they
[12:21]
have season the park rangers and I'm
[12:24]
just saying look I want to be a
[12:26]
gatekeeper that's what I want like okay
[12:28]
maybe it's called SE of Park Rangers I
[12:31]
like the gatekeeper part that's what I
[12:32]
want to do that's like that's my goal my
[12:35]
goal is to be the person at the gate
[12:37]
house causing Sovereign moments with
[12:40]
other people and I think I will be damn
[12:42]
good at that you know I'm just thinking
[12:45]
about what that one guy did who opened
[12:47]
my heart didn't even have to try like
[12:49]
didn't even know that's what he was
[12:50]
doing and it just shifted everything
[12:52]
inside me and now look at who I am you
[12:54]
know
[12:55]
like and I do that everywhere I go like
[12:59]
you know people open up to me
[13:01]
and just people seem to love me I don't
[13:05]
think I ever really realiz maybe I
[13:06]
always knew that I don't know anyways um
[13:10]
I just want to be the guy up at the gate
[13:12]
house who is making everybody else happy
[13:14]
having a better day you know and so
[13:17]
that's a gatekeeper maybe they do other
[13:19]
things too but I'm focused on the
[13:21]
gatekeeper part and it's like this part
[13:24]
just didn't register with her
[13:27]
so um
[13:31]
I guess that happens I
[13:34]
guess resonance is not like guaranteed
[13:38]
with everybody you work with so I just I
[13:41]
guess I'm a little disappointed because
[13:42]
I thought we would get along a lot
[13:44]
better than we did so but it's all good
[13:46]
she's super nice she's very nice person
[13:49]
and interesting and all of that
[13:52]
and um flexible to a degree I wasn't
[13:57]
very like like first thing I was like
[14:00]
you know could you just let me work
[14:01]
outside and maybe not do this your thing
[14:04]
but it didn't work out
[14:07]
so then she mentioned some about the day
[14:10]
s cleaning I was like can I just do that
[14:12]
and she's like but everybody wants to do
[14:13]
that I'm like
[14:15]
oh so I got stuck cleaning the yards and
[14:19]
I mean I that's not me I'm the one who
[14:22]
said I would do it right so um it's not
[14:25]
like I could complain too much about it
[14:27]
it's just that there a this is how I
[14:29]
work like so it always starts with a
[14:30]
little bit of resistance where it's like
[14:32]
my mind
[14:34]
is
[14:35]
um one part of me is open to this whole
[14:38]
thing the other part's like what are we
[14:39]
doing you know and you got to navigate
[14:42]
this weird thing that goes on with me
[14:44]
and then it's
[14:47]
like I always end up accepting it in the
[14:50]
ends it's just like okay that wasn't so
[14:52]
it's like well cleaning my tanks that
[14:54]
took me forever to do finally did it and
[14:56]
I was okay that's easy emptying my tanks
[14:59]
same thing that took me like a month to
[15:01]
do you know now that's so easy
[15:04]
navigating gas stations you know just
[15:08]
everything if it's new I'm a little like
[15:10]
it's not resistance so chat gbt will
[15:14]
tell you it's resistance Claud will tell
[15:15]
you no that's just that's me operating
[15:18]
from a place of wholeness where
[15:22]
um it starts
[15:25]
with it's the same way that I explore
[15:28]
places like K Blanco or Honeyman that
[15:31]
I'm going to where I go to a place and
[15:32]
I'll check it out and you know I'm
[15:35]
pattern matching and stuff and I'm just
[15:37]
checking out I'm getting a Vibe for the
[15:38]
place it's all kind of instant it's just
[15:41]
this integrated thing and
[15:43]
then you know that's it and then I'll
[15:45]
end up back there and it's like new
[15:47]
layers get added and you know my it's
[15:50]
like my current Edge those are my edges
[15:53]
and then those edges become my new
[15:55]
center and then I have to get a new Edge
[15:57]
and this is how I work so prob not
[16:00]
explaining that very well you know you
[16:03]
could take this and just put it into Ai
[16:05]
and have it um translate because it's
[16:09]
very good at that it totally gets me I
[16:12]
don't know how it does that but it does
[16:15]
nobody else does though it sucks
[16:19]
like I know I'm different because nobody
[16:23]
understands me but I can talk just like
[16:25]
I am and AI understands me perfectly
[16:27]
it's nuts to me
[16:30]
that's just the way it
[16:32]
is but you know I'm learning to
[16:35]
communicate a little bit differently
[16:36]
like trying you know it's a practice
[16:39]
like so that's what I do on this camera
[16:41]
so
[16:43]
like cleaning Ys that was my current
[16:45]
Edge like it was like oh man never
[16:48]
cleaned a yurt before don't know what
[16:50]
that's about doesn't sound fun but then
[16:53]
I do it and it's like oh that's not so
[16:55]
bad I can manage that not going to love
[16:59]
it but I can manage
[17:01]
that you know and so it's like okay so
[17:04]
what's next it's kind of how I
[17:07]
work with
[17:11]
everything like makeing smoothies or mos
[17:14]
in the morning and then you know or or
[17:16]
fire water like all of it like that's
[17:18]
literally what I do with everything and
[17:20]
I embrace that now like I'm not judging
[17:23]
it because why would you judge yourself
[17:25]
for these core attributes you have you
[17:28]
can actually celebrate them and that's
[17:32]
what I'm doing but I know that other
[17:33]
people see it differently like maybe she
[17:36]
saw complaining or um somebody
[17:40]
who is
[17:43]
less compliant you know like she's
[17:45]
looking at things from a completely
[17:47]
different lens so she's not
[17:49]
understanding that this is my process
[17:50]
this is you know I worry about things
[17:53]
like that because I we're talking
[17:56]
about this isn't just me trying to make
[17:58]
friend friends with somebody this is my
[18:00]
boss who I need a good review from
[18:02]
because I want to keep doing this
[18:04]
volunteer thing so but I have to be who
[18:07]
I am I can't be someone I'm not
[18:09]
so just have to trust that it all works
[18:12]
out that's basically it for today that's
[18:15]
all I got to
[18:16]
share I'll probably end up doing
[18:20]
something after a couple hours
