Hiking Redwood Trail, Working Out Terms of Mobile Life

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October 21, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

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Transcript

[0:00] good morning fellow humans it's 10:00 in

[0:03] the morning here

[0:04] Monday it's been raining all night so I

[0:07] wanted to see how the river

[0:09] looked I don't think it's grown very

[0:11] much yet doesn't mean it isn't pretty

[0:16] good to fog up there in the

[0:17] mountains Cloudy Skies grain no sun

[0:23] anywhere and this is the Pacific

[0:25] Northwest for

[0:27] you it was very pleasant

[0:30] night the rain drops on my RV roof

[0:35] were very

[0:39] pleasant oh I guess I got across this

[0:44] tree I do want to build a bridge here

[0:47] but I was thinking about it and I don't

[0:52] think I am amazed people do this

[0:55] actually you know what it's that tree

[0:57] isn't it yes

[1:00] okay like something feels off

[1:04] here

[1:07] um I mean it's you know it's wet and

[1:09] slippery

[1:11] so

[1:12] crap yeah I'm not risking it I'm not a

[1:15] child anymore I know other way

[1:19] around oh what was I

[1:21] saying I just don't I don't know my

[1:24] bance felt off

[1:26] so there's a way out of here up to the

[1:29] road get over to the Redwood

[1:33] Forest um so I don't know if I have much

[1:36] to say

[1:38] today but every time I say that I end up

[1:41] talking for an hour so I guess we'll

[1:42] find

[1:44] out um so it's Monday and today is the

[1:49] day that I picked for

[1:54] um adding work to my new

[1:57] life so I'll be doing that when I get

[2:00] back I got my RV mostly

[2:03] organized small number of things I still

[2:06] need to figure out a place for

[2:08] but it's

[2:11] always I mean that's something that will

[2:13] just be ongoing for the rest of my life

[2:15] I

[2:17] feel I don't believe in any like final

[2:21] sedan I'll always be moving stuff around

[2:23] and

[2:30] but I would like to get as organized as

[2:31] I

[2:32] can I'm very

[2:36] close all

[2:38] right I feel

[2:43] like I need to do this every

[2:46] day

[2:48] I'm not as physically conditioned as I

[2:51] thought I

[2:52] was

[2:55] although I think I know it's the vaping

[2:59] I will quit that it's been on my mind so

[3:05] much a little

[3:08] bit

[3:12] um I mean I don't know the right word I

[3:15] guess

[3:17] afraid that it will be a challenge

[3:21] and

[3:24] um you know so there's that

[3:31] but I can't know this with

[3:34] certainty have to try and see what

[3:38] happens for

[3:40] me when I'm ready to let something

[3:44] go you get rid of everything associated

[3:47] with it then you move

[3:50] on that's you know so but I mean with my

[3:53] finances the way they are if I did that

[3:57] it didn't work out

[4:00] well that would be difficult

[4:03] so I don't

[4:06] know been learning a lot about these

[4:09] trees the

[4:11] Redwoods they're fascinating one single

[4:14] tree can make its own

[4:16] microclimate and at different vertical

[4:19] levels trees so when it sech growing

[4:24] branches those branches get soil on them

[4:27] just plant der bean stuff turns into

[4:29] soil

[4:31] and then other trees can grow there like

[4:33] they were on the ground a whole other

[4:36] tree just growing on a on a redwood how

[4:39] cool is

[4:40] that the seeds get up there from

[4:42] different ways like when but also from

[4:44] the animals like

[4:47] squirrels probably

[4:50] Birds

[4:52] um be looking for these there's a name

[4:55] for these kinds of trees they're not

[4:57] parasitic because they're not

[5:00] taking anything from the tree they're

[5:01] just they're living on

[5:04] it it can even add stability from their

[5:08] own Roots growing around you know and

[5:10] wrapping around the branches and the

[5:11] tree and stuff just

[5:17] fascinating nature is

[5:20] amazing all right so we're at the

[5:24] trail wish I knew how to pronounce that

[5:27] SSU sisu Rogue River where is this Rogue

[5:32] River I'm not sure I've ever seen

[5:34] it no

[5:41] brochures oh I'm not sure I even looked

[5:43] at this map actually oh look at

[5:46] that they do tell you the numbers what

[5:48] they

[5:49] mean all right let's see

[5:58] here there's a large red

[6:03] wood I don't see anything about fairy

[6:07] circles I don't have any fairy

[6:11] circles that's what I want to

[6:17] see those trees are

[6:24] pretty

[6:26] so I don't think people really watch my

[6:29] he videos very much which you know it's

[6:33] not why I do

[6:34] it um I don't you know I'm not seeking

[6:37] validation or trying to entertain you

[6:42] guys this is just me about about me

[6:44] documenting my life

[6:48] and I don't feel like I have much else

[6:50] to say so I'm just going to stop it here

[6:54] we'll see if there's anything more I

[6:55] want to share I don't know if this will

[6:58] show up on my camera real well but this

[7:00] is nice this

[7:03] fog that's another thing I learned about

[7:06] um

[7:07] redwoods they draw in the fog and they

[7:10] bring it down to ground

[7:12] level which helps to bring more moisture

[7:16] down here redwoods are pretty amazing I

[7:20] mean the more I was reading about them

[7:22] more impressed I

[7:26] was I mean they're not

[7:32] I guess they're just different they're

[7:33] not you know my kind of trees

[7:36] but I think they're so cool cuz they

[7:41] are they're very diverse

[7:45] things so I've been hiking I don't know

[7:47] a couple of

[7:50] Miles not sure how close I am to the end

[7:54] here probably pretty close

[7:57] though elevation game was about 400 ft I

[8:01] don't know if that's a lot I sure did a

[8:03] work out on my lungs my legs a little

[8:06] bit even though I do it every day

[8:09] so I am wondering what that's about I

[8:12] feel

[8:14] like it ain't acceptable I've been

[8:16] hiking my whole life so I'm age is not

[8:20] going to stop me I will keep doing this

[8:22] until it just becomes as simple as

[8:24] breathing to

[8:26] me um so Thursday I leave for the Coast

[8:30] for 3 days I'm going to be at a

[8:31] campground right on the coast that'll be

[8:34] fun you know we'll check out the ocean

[8:36] and stuff hopefully it's raining I don't

[8:38] know um the weather forecast chain so

[8:41] quickly here that it's kind of hard to

[8:44] know right now it's saying it isn't

[8:46] going to rain

[8:47] so but it's going to rain all week

[8:49] pretty much I think I mean it's kind of

[8:52] sprinkling right

[8:54] now it's just

[8:56] nice I like this

[9:00] rain is what I am looking forward to the

[9:01] most just constant rain for days and

[9:04] weeks at a

[9:05] time anyway

[9:08] so Thursday I'll go to the coast for 3

[9:11] days and then I'll come back here for

[9:12] two weeks and I think after that I'm

[9:15] going to start heading

[9:17] North I have been looking at different

[9:21] possibilities I may go quite a ways up

[9:24] north I may

[9:26] not

[9:28] um it's going to take it more casually

[9:31] but uh I've you know I've explored this

[9:34] area a little

[9:35] bit

[9:38] and

[9:40] um I don't know we'll see I'm still kind

[9:43] of you know I don't want to be skipping

[9:45] things stuff like that but like for

[9:48] example there's this mountain called

[9:50] Humbug Mountain and there's a campground

[9:53] there seemed really nice but it's very

[9:56] busy I mean it's it's middle of October

[10:01] I don't want to be on a campground with

[10:04] tons of other people that's not what I'm

[10:05] looking for that's not why I'm out here

[10:07] it's that why I even started this like I

[10:10] it was culture shock for me to learn

[10:12] about the rvers and the van lifers I

[10:14] didn't know about them that's not why I

[10:17] did this

[10:19] so

[10:21] um I feel like I just need to get up

[10:24] north more there was one Campground I

[10:26] saw that it had like nine

[10:30] sites puts them close together though

[10:32] you know you're

[10:33] not you got nine sites so you probably

[10:36] got nine people right around you I don't

[10:38] want to be in a little box of sardines

[10:40] with others either so it's like I'm just

[10:43] trying to figure this life

[10:45] out obviously for me

[10:49] offgrid wound docking is what will make

[10:53] me the

[10:54] happiest um I just feel that I'm not

[10:56] real ready for that I don't feel I've

[10:59] done it a couple times I've enjoyed it a

[11:02] lot oh which way feel like I should know

[11:05] the answer to that you know what I know

[11:07] where I am I know exactly where I am

[11:09] okay cool um so

[11:16] anyways I just feel

[11:22] like it's complicated there's something

[11:24] I don't there's some things I want to

[11:25] talk about you know so I just I have a

[11:27] lot going on in my head right now

[11:29] and as he just call it a liino state you

[11:32] know I'm

[11:34] still I'm still working

[11:38] out how to approach my life

[11:42] here I'm not even sure organs is for me

[11:45] because for one thing that park ranger

[11:48] really upset me and the way people drive

[11:52] here is just insane to

[11:54] me and there's too many people here

[11:57] living this lifestyle there's no space

[12:00] for for us that's how it feels since I

[12:04] got here it hasn't been fun for

[12:06] me and makes me kind of wish I would you

[12:09] know go back to

[12:11] Nevada

[12:13] but there are good reasons to be here

[12:16] and I want to experience the storms and

[12:19] the rain and the different sky like

[12:23] there's a lot here that I I want to you

[12:25] know you can see where the the tension

[12:29] comes from it's not from the place it's

[12:31] from the

[12:32] people

[12:36] and you know I've been navigating that

[12:38] my whole life

[12:43] so okay yeah I know where I am

[12:47] okay

[12:52] um and I don't want you to get me wrong

[12:54] I actually like the van life where I saw

[12:56] yesterday running the generator I

[12:59] respect of that person they were

[13:01] offgrade on the side of a Road near the

[13:04] river just living their life and I think

[13:06] that's

[13:08] awesome it's

[13:10] not nothing in my world is black and

[13:13] white there's Nuance to everything

[13:16] so I wouldn't want to be parked next to

[13:18] that person but I

[13:22] absolutely love what they're doing with

[13:24] their life so you know

[13:26] there's it's just I need to find my

[13:29] place that's what this has always been

[13:32] about where I

[13:35] belong

[13:37] and haven't found it

[13:43] yet maybe it's in Washington I truly

[13:45] don't know maybe it's in Nevada I don't

[13:48] know I kind of liked Wyoming I liked

[13:50] Kansas so and I like exploring

[13:54] it's complicated

[13:57] so um I don't have all the answers and

[14:00] that's not how I live my life I don't

[14:02] live my life making up

[14:04] answers

[14:07] I I

[14:09] explore the world myself you know

[14:12] everything and very comfortable with

[14:15] ambiguity I don't need to have the

[14:18] answers I just need

[14:21] to um keep working

[14:26] towards the Contours of what works for

[14:28] me

[14:30] might be a difficult thing for some of

[14:32] you to

[14:34] understand like

[14:36] they're our boundaries our

[14:39] borders to what works for you and what

[14:43] doesn't and I'm striving to live within

[14:47] my

[14:48] borders just don't know where they are

[14:50] yet I'm still exploring

[14:54] them you know this is why I have

[14:56] comments disabled I'm not looking for

[14:58] comment I'm not interested in your

[15:01] commentary or your you know your point

[15:03] of view like it's not relevant to my

[15:05] life I don't know why

[15:07] people I don't know why

[15:10] people always want to inject themselves

[15:14] like for me when I started my YouTube

[15:16] channel I expected you guys to talk

[15:18] about your own

[15:20] lives in comparison to mine that never

[15:24] happens you are hyperfocused on me and I

[15:27] that was unacceptable

[15:30] focus on your own

[15:32] life what do we have in common you know

[15:35] build a bridge but you guys wen't even

[15:37] trying so you know I'm done with

[15:42] that um I had a point kind of lost the

[15:45] thread

[15:50] there okay we're back to the the rocking

[15:55] stairs don't have a belt on I keep

[15:57] having to pull my pants up

[16:02] you

[16:04] know AI told me there wouldn't be a sun

[16:08] there'd be cloud cover all the time gray

[16:10] skies

[16:12] rain and it will change

[16:15] you I'm like are you kidding me I am so

[16:18] excited for this but now I'm

[16:21] experiencing

[16:24] it I actually do love it I do

[16:30] so which doesn't to say I'd like to you

[16:33] know I'd like to see the sun sometimes

[16:34] like how's my solar going to work how

[16:37] would that even work so kind of feel

[16:40] like I need campgrounds at

[16:43] least at least to charge my solar but I

[16:46] I'm still working out the

[16:48] solar on my power

[16:51] consumption it's it's

[16:54] complicated because I need those

[16:56] batteries to last and

[17:00] you know I can go through 20 30% in a

[17:02] day or

[17:03] overnight um which obviously overnight I

[17:06] shouldn't be charging any I shouldn't be

[17:08] running anything right so but it depends

[17:11] like okay

[17:12] so my

[17:14] dehumidifier you know I

[17:18] actually oh I know where I am it's where

[17:22] I thought I was earlier when I said I

[17:23] know where I am actually that's funny

[17:27] okay we're almost out know so anyway my

[17:31] dehumidifier uses a lot of power you in

[17:35] an environment like this you do need

[17:37] it you need you know I need my electric

[17:40] heater I can't power them together

[17:42] that's another thing with my RV it's

[17:45] like two appliances is one too

[17:48] many so I can't run my ninja foodie if I

[17:51] have either of those things

[17:54] on um yeah this is right at the

[17:57] beginning I didn't okay that was a lot

[17:58] close closer than I thought we

[18:00] out

[18:04] um there just a lot you know I'm still

[18:07] working through it's a

[18:08] process one that I'm enjoying one that I

[18:11] wanted to share with you guys without

[18:15] the fragmentation of

[18:17] your point of view this is my

[18:21] channel this is my life that I'm sharing

[18:24] with you

[18:29] I just don't

[18:31] I I hold on a second all right just a

[18:35] lot of activity

[18:37] there I need to get down that road and

[18:39] see what's down there so many cars go

[18:41] down there but I know that's the

[18:43] national forest what is down there that

[18:45] so many people are going

[18:48] to and what can I find down there you

[18:50] know I just need to explore that

[18:57] area this is

[18:59] and I don't even know where the sun is

[19:01] at like where is it in the

[19:03] sky is it over there trly don't

[19:08] know

[19:15] fascinating it's a pleasant morning here

[19:19] how quiet it

[19:25] is stop the spread of sudden Oak death

[19:38] no idea what that about I'll find

[19:48] out one of my contact I can't see real

[19:54] well one thing I saw when I was looking

[19:56] at Maps

[20:02] something about this area closed to

[20:04] firewood

[20:05] Gathering

[20:08] interesting firewood Gathering not

[20:10] cutting trees down just Gathering that

[20:13] firewood

[20:17] um these forests

[20:20] have use maps for cutting down Christmas

[20:23] trees I didn't know we did

[20:26] that thought that was fascinating they

[20:28] broke them up in these little

[20:30] grids

[20:33] and sure they change them every

[20:46] here I'm excited to see this River girl

[20:48] it must get so big cuz you can just tell

[20:51] those look that's all that's got to be a

[20:54] river B right maybe not all of it but a

[20:58] lot of it

[21:00] that's rub could get very

[21:05] big I want to see

[21:08] it I don't know what this is called but

[21:10] it's fascinating look at that right next

[21:12] to the

[21:15] road I mean do you call that a sinkhole

[21:18] when they're like more like little

[21:19] Caverns

[21:42] I mean there's going to be so much water

[21:44] here I am just

[21:50] waiting all of it going into the

[21:53] ocean so

[21:55] cool I wouldn't want to see that

[22:00] we're going to cut in over here to get

[22:01] to the River View

[22:03] Trail and that'll take us back to the

[22:17] campground this is where the van life

[22:19] was by the

[22:21] way out here overnight

[22:46] theying this slowly cuz my hands are

[22:48] full

[22:51] and see

[22:53] very very wet slippery

[22:58] and we're

[23:18] down very proud of myself for coming out

[23:21] here today because I did resist it I

[23:23] didn't didn't feel up to it but I did

[23:27] it I hiked the whole Redwood Trail too

[23:30] so very

[23:32] proud got to do that every

[23:47] day so I made burgers in my ninja foodie

[23:50] last

[23:51] night that was

[23:53] awesome they were too big cuz I had I

[23:57] had 2 lbs of hamburger burger and I had

[23:59] to split that in half to make my

[24:01] chili so I made two burgers out of the

[24:03] rest which meant they were half PB

[24:05] each that took a long time to

[24:08] cook I learned from

[24:10] that make them

[24:12] smaller but they cooked and it was good

[24:15] I ate one and put the other in the

[24:17] fridge so I warm it up today in a ninja

[24:19] foodie I still have

[24:23] chilly um didn't need anything this

[24:26] morning but I'm pretty hungry I'm going

[24:29] to eat I'm going to get

[24:31] back some bagels or eggs or hash browns

[24:34] that's everything I

[24:42] got

[24:47] okay I

[24:50] am very far from home what was home for

[24:54] a very long

[24:56] time I drove here in an hour with my

[25:00] cat

[25:03] and I am doing something

[25:11] that

[25:12] well consider this quite

[25:22] profound and I'm determined I I'll find

[25:26] some new clients

[25:28] get some new work going

[25:37] and

[25:46] yeah leave it there I had of a clip from

[25:49] the other day on this trail that I'm

[25:51] going to

[25:53] um append to this video

[25:59] just talking

[26:00] about how this just this phone that I'm

[26:03] holding it's about phones I almost

[26:06] posted it called the phone but I

[26:09] didn't I was thinking about it on

[26:12] my

[26:13] um my hike today I'll just append it to

[26:17] this

[26:18] and cuz I'm

[26:24] contemplating I don't like the

[26:25] attachment to this phone I don't want it

[26:27] in my hand on all the

[26:29] time yeah I don't like the way it's

[26:31] changing us as a

[26:35] society if I'm going

[26:37] to share my hikes and talk about my

[26:41] life when I'm out here I think that I

[26:45] need

[26:46] to come up with a different strategy

[26:48] maybe my GoPro just attached to my rain

[26:51] jacket or

[26:54] whatever um

[26:58] CU I'm thinking I might start leaving my

[27:00] phone at home

[27:04] because I don't like what it's done to

[27:06] us

[27:58] for

[28:38] even in these natural

[28:40] spaces we pull our phones

[28:44] out there's someone sitting by the

[28:47] river drove their vehicle right up to

[28:51] it sitting down on the

[28:54] rivered staring at their phone

[29:00] and I'm not judging cuz I do

[29:05] it but I came out here today started

[29:09] looking

[29:09] [Music]

[29:11] around I Fu

[29:14] connected didn't need my

[29:20] phone these things do not provide

[29:23] connection they disconnect us from each

[29:25] other in the world

[29:34] you see that don't

[29:39] you I know some of you think you're

[29:41] connected to me but you're

[29:47] not cuz I'm not connected to

[29:53] you I'm just a mirror

[29:58] I'm a

[30:00] mirror of your own

[30:04] self the struggles you face the fears

[30:06] you have the triumphs of joy is allv it

[30:10] that's all I

[30:13] am I'm not a real person to

[30:17] you and you could never be a real person

[30:19] to me cuz I'm looking at a camera right

[30:24] now or a phone

[30:28] that has disconnected this entire

[30:32] world we should sit with that for a

[30:34] while

[0:00] good morning fellow humans it's 10:00 in

[0:03] the morning here

[0:04] Monday it's been raining all night so I

[0:07] wanted to see how the river

[0:09] looked I don't think it's grown very

[0:11] much yet doesn't mean it isn't pretty

[0:16] good to fog up there in the

[0:17] mountains Cloudy Skies grain no sun

[0:23] anywhere and this is the Pacific

[0:25] Northwest for

[0:27] you it was very pleasant

[0:30] night the rain drops on my RV roof

[0:35] were very

[0:39] pleasant oh I guess I got across this

[0:44] tree I do want to build a bridge here

[0:47] but I was thinking about it and I don't

[0:52] think I am amazed people do this

[0:55] actually you know what it's that tree

[0:57] isn't it yes

[1:00] okay like something feels off

[1:04] here

[1:07] um I mean it's you know it's wet and

[1:09] slippery

[1:11] so

[1:12] crap yeah I'm not risking it I'm not a

[1:15] child anymore I know other way

[1:19] around oh what was I

[1:21] saying I just don't I don't know my

[1:24] bance felt off

[1:26] so there's a way out of here up to the

[1:29] road get over to the Redwood

[1:33] Forest um so I don't know if I have much

[1:36] to say

[1:38] today but every time I say that I end up

[1:41] talking for an hour so I guess we'll

[1:42] find

[1:44] out um so it's Monday and today is the

[1:49] day that I picked for

[1:54] um adding work to my new

[1:57] life so I'll be doing that when I get

[2:00] back I got my RV mostly

[2:03] organized small number of things I still

[2:06] need to figure out a place for

[2:08] but it's

[2:11] always I mean that's something that will

[2:13] just be ongoing for the rest of my life

[2:15] I

[2:17] feel I don't believe in any like final

[2:21] sedan I'll always be moving stuff around

[2:23] and

[2:30] but I would like to get as organized as

[2:31] I

[2:32] can I'm very

[2:36] close all

[2:38] right I feel

[2:43] like I need to do this every

[2:46] day

[2:48] I'm not as physically conditioned as I

[2:51] thought I

[2:52] was

[2:55] although I think I know it's the vaping

[2:59] I will quit that it's been on my mind so

[3:05] much a little

[3:08] bit

[3:12] um I mean I don't know the right word I

[3:15] guess

[3:17] afraid that it will be a challenge

[3:21] and

[3:24] um you know so there's that

[3:31] but I can't know this with

[3:34] certainty have to try and see what

[3:38] happens for

[3:40] me when I'm ready to let something

[3:44] go you get rid of everything associated

[3:47] with it then you move

[3:50] on that's you know so but I mean with my

[3:53] finances the way they are if I did that

[3:57] it didn't work out

[4:00] well that would be difficult

[4:03] so I don't

[4:06] know been learning a lot about these

[4:09] trees the

[4:11] Redwoods they're fascinating one single

[4:14] tree can make its own

[4:16] microclimate and at different vertical

[4:19] levels trees so when it sech growing

[4:24] branches those branches get soil on them

[4:27] just plant der bean stuff turns into

[4:29] soil

[4:31] and then other trees can grow there like

[4:33] they were on the ground a whole other

[4:36] tree just growing on a on a redwood how

[4:39] cool is

[4:40] that the seeds get up there from

[4:42] different ways like when but also from

[4:44] the animals like

[4:47] squirrels probably

[4:50] Birds

[4:52] um be looking for these there's a name

[4:55] for these kinds of trees they're not

[4:57] parasitic because they're not

[5:00] taking anything from the tree they're

[5:01] just they're living on

[5:04] it it can even add stability from their

[5:08] own Roots growing around you know and

[5:10] wrapping around the branches and the

[5:11] tree and stuff just

[5:17] fascinating nature is

[5:20] amazing all right so we're at the

[5:24] trail wish I knew how to pronounce that

[5:27] SSU sisu Rogue River where is this Rogue

[5:32] River I'm not sure I've ever seen

[5:34] it no

[5:41] brochures oh I'm not sure I even looked

[5:43] at this map actually oh look at

[5:46] that they do tell you the numbers what

[5:48] they

[5:49] mean all right let's see

[5:58] here there's a large red

[6:03] wood I don't see anything about fairy

[6:07] circles I don't have any fairy

[6:11] circles that's what I want to

[6:17] see those trees are

[6:24] pretty

[6:26] so I don't think people really watch my

[6:29] he videos very much which you know it's

[6:33] not why I do

[6:34] it um I don't you know I'm not seeking

[6:37] validation or trying to entertain you

[6:42] guys this is just me about about me

[6:44] documenting my life

[6:48] and I don't feel like I have much else

[6:50] to say so I'm just going to stop it here

[6:54] we'll see if there's anything more I

[6:55] want to share I don't know if this will

[6:58] show up on my camera real well but this

[7:00] is nice this

[7:03] fog that's another thing I learned about

[7:06] um

[7:07] redwoods they draw in the fog and they

[7:10] bring it down to ground

[7:12] level which helps to bring more moisture

[7:16] down here redwoods are pretty amazing I

[7:20] mean the more I was reading about them

[7:22] more impressed I

[7:26] was I mean they're not

[7:32] I guess they're just different they're

[7:33] not you know my kind of trees

[7:36] but I think they're so cool cuz they

[7:41] are they're very diverse

[7:45] things so I've been hiking I don't know

[7:47] a couple of

[7:50] Miles not sure how close I am to the end

[7:54] here probably pretty close

[7:57] though elevation game was about 400 ft I

[8:01] don't know if that's a lot I sure did a

[8:03] work out on my lungs my legs a little

[8:06] bit even though I do it every day

[8:09] so I am wondering what that's about I

[8:12] feel

[8:14] like it ain't acceptable I've been

[8:16] hiking my whole life so I'm age is not

[8:20] going to stop me I will keep doing this

[8:22] until it just becomes as simple as

[8:24] breathing to

[8:26] me um so Thursday I leave for the Coast

[8:30] for 3 days I'm going to be at a

[8:31] campground right on the coast that'll be

[8:34] fun you know we'll check out the ocean

[8:36] and stuff hopefully it's raining I don't

[8:38] know um the weather forecast chain so

[8:41] quickly here that it's kind of hard to

[8:44] know right now it's saying it isn't

[8:46] going to rain

[8:47] so but it's going to rain all week

[8:49] pretty much I think I mean it's kind of

[8:52] sprinkling right

[8:54] now it's just

[8:56] nice I like this

[9:00] rain is what I am looking forward to the

[9:01] most just constant rain for days and

[9:04] weeks at a

[9:05] time anyway

[9:08] so Thursday I'll go to the coast for 3

[9:11] days and then I'll come back here for

[9:12] two weeks and I think after that I'm

[9:15] going to start heading

[9:17] North I have been looking at different

[9:21] possibilities I may go quite a ways up

[9:24] north I may

[9:26] not

[9:28] um it's going to take it more casually

[9:31] but uh I've you know I've explored this

[9:34] area a little

[9:35] bit

[9:38] and

[9:40] um I don't know we'll see I'm still kind

[9:43] of you know I don't want to be skipping

[9:45] things stuff like that but like for

[9:48] example there's this mountain called

[9:50] Humbug Mountain and there's a campground

[9:53] there seemed really nice but it's very

[9:56] busy I mean it's it's middle of October

[10:01] I don't want to be on a campground with

[10:04] tons of other people that's not what I'm

[10:05] looking for that's not why I'm out here

[10:07] it's that why I even started this like I

[10:10] it was culture shock for me to learn

[10:12] about the rvers and the van lifers I

[10:14] didn't know about them that's not why I

[10:17] did this

[10:19] so

[10:21] um I feel like I just need to get up

[10:24] north more there was one Campground I

[10:26] saw that it had like nine

[10:30] sites puts them close together though

[10:32] you know you're

[10:33] not you got nine sites so you probably

[10:36] got nine people right around you I don't

[10:38] want to be in a little box of sardines

[10:40] with others either so it's like I'm just

[10:43] trying to figure this life

[10:45] out obviously for me

[10:49] offgrid wound docking is what will make

[10:53] me the

[10:54] happiest um I just feel that I'm not

[10:56] real ready for that I don't feel I've

[10:59] done it a couple times I've enjoyed it a

[11:02] lot oh which way feel like I should know

[11:05] the answer to that you know what I know

[11:07] where I am I know exactly where I am

[11:09] okay cool um so

[11:16] anyways I just feel

[11:22] like it's complicated there's something

[11:24] I don't there's some things I want to

[11:25] talk about you know so I just I have a

[11:27] lot going on in my head right now

[11:29] and as he just call it a liino state you

[11:32] know I'm

[11:34] still I'm still working

[11:38] out how to approach my life

[11:42] here I'm not even sure organs is for me

[11:45] because for one thing that park ranger

[11:48] really upset me and the way people drive

[11:52] here is just insane to

[11:54] me and there's too many people here

[11:57] living this lifestyle there's no space

[12:00] for for us that's how it feels since I

[12:04] got here it hasn't been fun for

[12:06] me and makes me kind of wish I would you

[12:09] know go back to

[12:11] Nevada

[12:13] but there are good reasons to be here

[12:16] and I want to experience the storms and

[12:19] the rain and the different sky like

[12:23] there's a lot here that I I want to you

[12:25] know you can see where the the tension

[12:29] comes from it's not from the place it's

[12:31] from the

[12:32] people

[12:36] and you know I've been navigating that

[12:38] my whole life

[12:43] so okay yeah I know where I am

[12:47] okay

[12:52] um and I don't want you to get me wrong

[12:54] I actually like the van life where I saw

[12:56] yesterday running the generator I

[12:59] respect of that person they were

[13:01] offgrade on the side of a Road near the

[13:04] river just living their life and I think

[13:06] that's

[13:08] awesome it's

[13:10] not nothing in my world is black and

[13:13] white there's Nuance to everything

[13:16] so I wouldn't want to be parked next to

[13:18] that person but I

[13:22] absolutely love what they're doing with

[13:24] their life so you know

[13:26] there's it's just I need to find my

[13:29] place that's what this has always been

[13:32] about where I

[13:35] belong

[13:37] and haven't found it

[13:43] yet maybe it's in Washington I truly

[13:45] don't know maybe it's in Nevada I don't

[13:48] know I kind of liked Wyoming I liked

[13:50] Kansas so and I like exploring

[13:54] it's complicated

[13:57] so um I don't have all the answers and

[14:00] that's not how I live my life I don't

[14:02] live my life making up

[14:04] answers

[14:07] I I

[14:09] explore the world myself you know

[14:12] everything and very comfortable with

[14:15] ambiguity I don't need to have the

[14:18] answers I just need

[14:21] to um keep working

[14:26] towards the Contours of what works for

[14:28] me

[14:30] might be a difficult thing for some of

[14:32] you to

[14:34] understand like

[14:36] they're our boundaries our

[14:39] borders to what works for you and what

[14:43] doesn't and I'm striving to live within

[14:47] my

[14:48] borders just don't know where they are

[14:50] yet I'm still exploring

[14:54] them you know this is why I have

[14:56] comments disabled I'm not looking for

[14:58] comment I'm not interested in your

[15:01] commentary or your you know your point

[15:03] of view like it's not relevant to my

[15:05] life I don't know why

[15:07] people I don't know why

[15:10] people always want to inject themselves

[15:14] like for me when I started my YouTube

[15:16] channel I expected you guys to talk

[15:18] about your own

[15:20] lives in comparison to mine that never

[15:24] happens you are hyperfocused on me and I

[15:27] that was unacceptable

[15:30] focus on your own

[15:32] life what do we have in common you know

[15:35] build a bridge but you guys wen't even

[15:37] trying so you know I'm done with

[15:42] that um I had a point kind of lost the

[15:45] thread

[15:50] there okay we're back to the the rocking

[15:55] stairs don't have a belt on I keep

[15:57] having to pull my pants up

[16:02] you

[16:04] know AI told me there wouldn't be a sun

[16:08] there'd be cloud cover all the time gray

[16:10] skies

[16:12] rain and it will change

[16:15] you I'm like are you kidding me I am so

[16:18] excited for this but now I'm

[16:21] experiencing

[16:24] it I actually do love it I do

[16:30] so which doesn't to say I'd like to you

[16:33] know I'd like to see the sun sometimes

[16:34] like how's my solar going to work how

[16:37] would that even work so kind of feel

[16:40] like I need campgrounds at

[16:43] least at least to charge my solar but I

[16:46] I'm still working out the

[16:48] solar on my power

[16:51] consumption it's it's

[16:54] complicated because I need those

[16:56] batteries to last and

[17:00] you know I can go through 20 30% in a

[17:02] day or

[17:03] overnight um which obviously overnight I

[17:06] shouldn't be charging any I shouldn't be

[17:08] running anything right so but it depends

[17:11] like okay

[17:12] so my

[17:14] dehumidifier you know I

[17:18] actually oh I know where I am it's where

[17:22] I thought I was earlier when I said I

[17:23] know where I am actually that's funny

[17:27] okay we're almost out know so anyway my

[17:31] dehumidifier uses a lot of power you in

[17:35] an environment like this you do need

[17:37] it you need you know I need my electric

[17:40] heater I can't power them together

[17:42] that's another thing with my RV it's

[17:45] like two appliances is one too

[17:48] many so I can't run my ninja foodie if I

[17:51] have either of those things

[17:54] on um yeah this is right at the

[17:57] beginning I didn't okay that was a lot

[17:58] close closer than I thought we

[18:00] out

[18:04] um there just a lot you know I'm still

[18:07] working through it's a

[18:08] process one that I'm enjoying one that I

[18:11] wanted to share with you guys without

[18:15] the fragmentation of

[18:17] your point of view this is my

[18:21] channel this is my life that I'm sharing

[18:24] with you

[18:29] I just don't

[18:31] I I hold on a second all right just a

[18:35] lot of activity

[18:37] there I need to get down that road and

[18:39] see what's down there so many cars go

[18:41] down there but I know that's the

[18:43] national forest what is down there that

[18:45] so many people are going

[18:48] to and what can I find down there you

[18:50] know I just need to explore that

[18:57] area this is

[18:59] and I don't even know where the sun is

[19:01] at like where is it in the

[19:03] sky is it over there trly don't

[19:08] know

[19:15] fascinating it's a pleasant morning here

[19:19] how quiet it

[19:25] is stop the spread of sudden Oak death

[19:38] no idea what that about I'll find

[19:48] out one of my contact I can't see real

[19:54] well one thing I saw when I was looking

[19:56] at Maps

[20:02] something about this area closed to

[20:04] firewood

[20:05] Gathering

[20:08] interesting firewood Gathering not

[20:10] cutting trees down just Gathering that

[20:13] firewood

[20:17] um these forests

[20:20] have use maps for cutting down Christmas

[20:23] trees I didn't know we did

[20:26] that thought that was fascinating they

[20:28] broke them up in these little

[20:30] grids

[20:33] and sure they change them every

[20:46] here I'm excited to see this River girl

[20:48] it must get so big cuz you can just tell

[20:51] those look that's all that's got to be a

[20:54] river B right maybe not all of it but a

[20:58] lot of it

[21:00] that's rub could get very

[21:05] big I want to see

[21:08] it I don't know what this is called but

[21:10] it's fascinating look at that right next

[21:12] to the

[21:15] road I mean do you call that a sinkhole

[21:18] when they're like more like little

[21:19] Caverns

[21:42] I mean there's going to be so much water

[21:44] here I am just

[21:50] waiting all of it going into the

[21:53] ocean so

[21:55] cool I wouldn't want to see that

[22:00] we're going to cut in over here to get

[22:01] to the River View

[22:03] Trail and that'll take us back to the

[22:17] campground this is where the van life

[22:19] was by the

[22:21] way out here overnight

[22:46] theying this slowly cuz my hands are

[22:48] full

[22:51] and see

[22:53] very very wet slippery

[22:58] and we're

[23:18] down very proud of myself for coming out

[23:21] here today because I did resist it I

[23:23] didn't didn't feel up to it but I did

[23:27] it I hiked the whole Redwood Trail too

[23:30] so very

[23:32] proud got to do that every

[23:47] day so I made burgers in my ninja foodie

[23:50] last

[23:51] night that was

[23:53] awesome they were too big cuz I had I

[23:57] had 2 lbs of hamburger burger and I had

[23:59] to split that in half to make my

[24:01] chili so I made two burgers out of the

[24:03] rest which meant they were half PB

[24:05] each that took a long time to

[24:08] cook I learned from

[24:10] that make them

[24:12] smaller but they cooked and it was good

[24:15] I ate one and put the other in the

[24:17] fridge so I warm it up today in a ninja

[24:19] foodie I still have

[24:23] chilly um didn't need anything this

[24:26] morning but I'm pretty hungry I'm going

[24:29] to eat I'm going to get

[24:31] back some bagels or eggs or hash browns

[24:34] that's everything I

[24:42] got

[24:47] okay I

[24:50] am very far from home what was home for

[24:54] a very long

[24:56] time I drove here in an hour with my

[25:00] cat

[25:03] and I am doing something

[25:11] that

[25:12] well consider this quite

[25:22] profound and I'm determined I I'll find

[25:26] some new clients

[25:28] get some new work going

[25:37] and

[25:46] yeah leave it there I had of a clip from

[25:49] the other day on this trail that I'm

[25:51] going to

[25:53] um append to this video

[25:59] just talking

[26:00] about how this just this phone that I'm

[26:03] holding it's about phones I almost

[26:06] posted it called the phone but I

[26:09] didn't I was thinking about it on

[26:12] my

[26:13] um my hike today I'll just append it to

[26:17] this

[26:18] and cuz I'm

[26:24] contemplating I don't like the

[26:25] attachment to this phone I don't want it

[26:27] in my hand on all the

[26:29] time yeah I don't like the way it's

[26:31] changing us as a

[26:35] society if I'm going

[26:37] to share my hikes and talk about my

[26:41] life when I'm out here I think that I

[26:45] need

[26:46] to come up with a different strategy

[26:48] maybe my GoPro just attached to my rain

[26:51] jacket or

[26:54] whatever um

[26:58] CU I'm thinking I might start leaving my

[27:00] phone at home

[27:04] because I don't like what it's done to

[27:06] us

[27:58] for

[28:38] even in these natural

[28:40] spaces we pull our phones

[28:44] out there's someone sitting by the

[28:47] river drove their vehicle right up to

[28:51] it sitting down on the

[28:54] rivered staring at their phone

[29:00] and I'm not judging cuz I do

[29:05] it but I came out here today started

[29:09] looking

[29:09] [Music]

[29:11] around I Fu

[29:14] connected didn't need my

[29:20] phone these things do not provide

[29:23] connection they disconnect us from each

[29:25] other in the world

[29:34] you see that don't

[29:39] you I know some of you think you're

[29:41] connected to me but you're

[29:47] not cuz I'm not connected to

[29:53] you I'm just a mirror

[29:58] I'm a

[30:00] mirror of your own

[30:04] self the struggles you face the fears

[30:06] you have the triumphs of joy is allv it

[30:10] that's all I

[30:13] am I'm not a real person to

[30:17] you and you could never be a real person

[30:19] to me cuz I'm looking at a camera right

[30:24] now or a phone

[30:28] that has disconnected this entire

[30:32] world we should sit with that for a

[30:34] while

25:13

Driving Wyoming Toward Oregon With Bailey

Sep 28, 2024

9:46

Recording Night Sky at Wagon Trail Pullout

Sep 29, 2024

9:04

Approaching Oregon Without a Plan

Sep 30, 2024

4:07

Naming the Unguarded Man from the Gas Station

Sep 30, 2024

22:41

Crossing Into Nevada En Route to Oregon Coast

Sep 30, 2024

2:31

Driving Into Elko for Supplies and Laundry

Oct 1, 2024

13:42

Contemplating Rootedness and Exploration on the Ruby Mountain

Oct 2, 2024

Photos · Oct 3, 2024

Oct 3, 2024

6:05

Facing the Mountain Without Medication

Oct 4, 2024

23:25

Driving Chimney Rock Mountain Road, Integrating Fear Response

Oct 4, 2024

10:44

Weighing Reopening Comments While Cooking Chili

Oct 5, 2024

48:33

Solving Off-Grid Battery Charging in Nevada

Oct 5, 2024

2:54

Charging House Batteries Through Solar Inverter

Oct 6, 2024

11:41

Weighing Nevada Against Oregon While Handling a Mouse

Oct 6, 2024

19:02

Deciding on Oregon While Hiking in Nevada

Oct 7, 2024

19:18

Last Day in Nevada, Preparing Departure for Oregon

Oct 7, 2024

Photos · Oct 8, 2024

Oct 8, 2024

Photos · Oct 8, 2024

Oct 8, 2024

Photos · Oct 8, 2024

Oct 8, 2024

32:45

Driving to the Southern Oregon Coast

Oct 10, 2024

My First Visit to the Ocean

Oct 12, 2024

2:35

Observing an Older Couple's Camp Routine

Oct 16, 2024

7:55

Hiking Oregon Redwoods Trail After Client Nonpayment

Oct 17, 2024

7:18

Documenting Riverside Stop at Sea Level

Oct 18, 2024

12:52

Morning Grocery Run and Coastal Resource Navigation

Oct 19, 2024

7:01

Cooking First Chili in the Ninja Foodi

Oct 19, 2024

3:42

Reframing Calm and Stress as Layered Experience

Oct 20, 2024

30:35

Hiking Redwood Trail, Working Out Terms of Mobile Life

Oct 21, 2024

21:49

Naming Boundary Limits With Bailey on Morning Hike

Oct 25, 2024

20:38

Recognizing an Unplanned Flirtation at the Gate

Oct 25, 2024

15:50

Documenting the Gate House Approach and Its Outcome

Oct 27, 2024

2:28

Closing Video Transmissions on Staying Open

Nov 2, 2024

Photos · Nov 3, 2024

Nov 3, 2024

Photos · Nov 3, 2024

Nov 3, 2024

Photos · Nov 5, 2024

Nov 5, 2024

Photos · Nov 5, 2024

Nov 5, 2024

Photos · Nov 5, 2024

Nov 5, 2024

Photos · Nov 6, 2024

Nov 6, 2024

Photos · Nov 6, 2024

Nov 6, 2024

Photos · Nov 7, 2024

Nov 7, 2024

Photos · Nov 7, 2024

Nov 7, 2024

PUBLIC

October 21, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.10

Density 0.80

Energetic Quality

unhurried and observationally sharp

Journey Phase

transitional — actively calibrating

Directional Vector

toward locating personal borders; away from mediated connection

Narrative

It was ten in the morning on a Monday in late October, and rswfire went down to the river first, because it had rained all night and he wanted to see whether the water had risen. It hadn't much — not yet — but he stood with it for a moment anyway, reading the fog banked up in the mountains, the cloud cover with no sun anywhere in it, and named the whole arrangement as the Pacific Northwest doing what it does. The rain on the RV roof had been pleasant all night. He said so plainly, the way a person says a thing they have decided is true.

At the downed tree spanning the water, the narrative turned. He had crossed it before, and had been thinking about building a bridge there, and then, standing on it with wet bark under his feet, something registered as off. He named it: his balance felt wrong, the wood was slick, and he was not a child anymore. He turned around. There was another way out — up to the road, over toward the redwood grove — and he took it. The decision consumed about thirty seconds of his morning and cost him nothing except the shorter route.

Walking up, he laid out the day's other business. Monday was the date he had chosen for adding work back into the new life; he would start on client acquisition when he got back. The RV was mostly organized, with a small number of things still without a place, and he said he did not believe in a final arrangement — he expected to be moving things around for the rest of his life, and still wanted to be as organized as he could get. The hike itself was working his lungs harder than he expected across four hundred feet of gain. He attributed that to vaping, said quitting had been on his mind, and then set the whole thing against his finances: if he cleared out everything associated with it, the way he does when he is ready to let something go, and it didn't work, that would be difficult. He left it there, unresolved by design, and turned his attention to the trees.

The redwoods held him for a while. He had been reading about them, and what impressed him was the architecture: a single tree generating its own microclimate, drawing fog down out of the air and delivering it to ground level as moisture; branches accumulating soil over years until whole other trees grow up there as if on flat earth, seeds carried by squirrels and birds; and those tenants taking nothing from the host — not parasitic, he said, searching for the word for them and not finding it — instead adding stability, their roots wrapping around the branches. They were not his kind of trees. He said that too, and then said they were amazing anyway, that the more he read the more impressed he got, and that what made them cool was how diverse they were.

At the trailhead map he tried to pronounce the trail's name, looked for the Rogue River and wasn't sure he'd ever seen it, found the numbered legend, noted the large redwood, and registered mild disappointment that there was nothing on the map about fairy circles. He checked his location three separate times on the walk and got it right each time, the third time recognizing that it was the same spot he had already correctly identified earlier — which he found funny.

The forward calendar came out in pieces as he walked. Thursday, three days at a campground on the coast, with the hope that it would rain. Then back here for two weeks. Then north, possibly a long way north, taken casually. Humbug Mountain looked good and was too busy for mid-October. Another campground had nine sites packed close, and nine sites meant nine people around him. He said off-grid boondocking was clearly what would make him happiest, that he had done it a few times and enjoyed it, and that he didn't feel ready for it yet. He named the whole condition a limbo state. He said he wasn't even sure Oregon was for him — the park ranger, the driving, the sheer number of people out here living this lifestyle, no space for it — and that the tension came from the people, not the place, and that he had been navigating that his whole life. Then, without softening it, he described the van lifer he'd seen the day before running a generator off-grid beside the road, said he respected it, said he loved what that person was doing, and said he wouldn't want to be parked next to them. Nothing in his world is black and white.

What he was actually doing, he said, was working toward the contours of what works for him — that there are borders to what works for a person, that he is striving to live inside his, and that he doesn't know yet where they are. He said he doesn't make up answers, that he explores instead, that he is comfortable with ambiguity. This was also, he said, why comments are disabled: he had expected people to talk about their own lives in comparison to his, and instead they hyperfocused on him, and that was unacceptable. Build a bridge, he said, and they weren't even trying. The trail ran him past the rocking stairs, past a roadside formation he called a cavern rather than a sinkhole, past a riverbed wide enough to tell him how big this water gets, past signage about sudden oak death and a firewood-gathering closure and the gridded maps the forests use for Christmas tree cutting. He worked the power math out loud as he walked: twenty or thirty percent of battery in a day, the dehumidifier that this climate requires, the electric heater, the Ninja Foodi — two appliances one too many, and the solar question still open under a sky where he could not locate the sun.

He came down the wet slope slowly, hands full, and said he was proud of himself, because he had resisted coming out and came anyway and hiked the whole Redwood Trail. He said he would do this every day. He talked about the burgers he'd made too large the night before and would reheat, the chili still in the fridge, and then said he was very far from what had been home for a long time, that he had driven here in an hour with his cat, and that he considered what he was doing profound, and that he was determined. Then he named the clip he would append — the one about the phone in his hand, which he doesn't want in his hand all the time, and the GoPro he might use instead, and the person he'd seen who drove right up to the river to sit on the bed of it staring at a screen. He said he wasn't judging, because he does it too. He said he had come out that morning and started looking around and felt connected without it. Then he addressed the people watching directly: some of you think you're connected to me and you're not, because I'm not connected to you — I'm a mirror, a mirror of your own self, your struggles and fears and joys, and that's all I am. Not a real person to you, and you could never be one to him, because he was looking at a phone. We should sit with that for a while, he said, and let the rain keep coming down.

Summary

rswfire records a morning hike in rain and fog near the Rogue River, checking river levels after overnight rain and walking the Redwood Trail (roughly two miles, ~400 ft elevation gain). He declines a wet log crossing after noting his balance felt off, and states he is proud of completing the hike he had resisted starting.

He describes redwood ecology at length — trees generating their own microclimates, soil accumulating on branches allowing other trees to grow aerially, seed transport by animals, and fog drawn down to ground level for moisture.

Operational items covered:

Monday is the day he designated for adding work back into his new life; he states he will find new clients when he returns.
RV organization is mostly complete; he describes it as ongoing rather than finished.
Thursday departure for three days at a coastal campground, then two weeks back, then possibly heading north.
Power management: dehumidifier, electric heater, and Ninja Foodi cannot run simultaneously; solar and battery draw (20–30% per day) remain unresolved.
He states he intends to quit vaping and names finances as a factor in timing.

He names friction with people, not place — a park ranger encounter, driving, and campground density — and states off-grid boondocking is what would suit him best. He closes on phone attachment, stating he may switch to a GoPro or leave the phone behind, and that he functions as a mirror rather than a connection for viewers.

Environment

A rain-soaked morning hike in the Pacific Northwest, recorded on a phone at roughly 10:00 AM on a Monday in mid-to-late October. rswfire moves through a redwood grove and trail system near the Rogue River drainage, passing trailhead maps, a downed tree crossing over water, roadside cavern formations, and signage about sudden oak death and firewood-gathering closures.

The route runs from the river, up to a road, through the Redwood Trail and River View Trail, and back toward a campground where his RV is parked. Conditions are fog, cloud cover, no visible sun, intermittent rain, wet and slippery ground. A second clip filmed on an earlier day on the same trail is appended at the end.

Substrate

rswfire holds a position that place, work, and physical conditioning are variables under active test rather than settled facts — he names the process explicitly as living without pre-made answers and moving toward the contours of what works for him. The redwood material functions as structural parallel: an organism that generates its own microclimate and hosts other systems without parasitism, stability arriving through wrapped roots rather than isolation. The closing segment dissolves the premise of parasocial connection outright, stating he is a mirror rather than a relation, and locates the phone itself as the disconnecting mechanism.

Actions

Performed

•hiking the Redwood Trail and River View Trail
•checking river level after overnight rain
•assessing and rejecting a log crossing on balance grounds
•reading the trailhead map and signage
•narrating redwood microclimate and canopy-soil mechanics
•documenting fog, sinkhole/cavern formations, and riverbed width
•stating comment policy and channel intent
•recording power-consumption math for solar, dehumidifier, heater
•appending the phone clip to the video

Referenced

•drove an hour from what was home with his cat
•organized the RV interior
•hiked a couple of miles with ~400 ft elevation gain
•read about redwood biology and epiphytic growth
•observed a van lifer running a generator roadside
•cooked burgers and chili in a Ninja Foodi
•disabled YouTube comments
•camped off-grid a few times
•consulted AI about Pacific Northwest weather before arriving
•filmed an earlier clip on the same trail about phones
•declined to cross a downed tree over the water

Planned

•adding work back into his life starting today
•finding new clients
•quitting vaping
•hiking daily
•leaving Thursday for three days at a coastal campground
•returning for two weeks, then heading north
•exploring the national forest road with heavy traffic
•looking up sudden oak death
•building a bridge at the river crossing
•switching to a GoPro and leaving the phone behind

Entities

beings

Park ranger — Named as a source of upset in the Oregon experience

Van lifer — Roadside off-grid camper he states respect for while declining proximity

His cat — Traveled with him from prior home

places

Pacific Northwest — Named region; its rain, fog, and cloud cover are what he came to experience

Rogue River — Trailhead-named river he has not yet located or seen

Oregon — Current state; he states he is unsure it is for him

Nevada — Prior location he names as a possible return

Washington — Northward possibility under consideration

Wyoming — Previously traveled, named as liked

Kansas — Previously traveled, named as liked

Humbug Mountain — Campground he ruled out for density of occupancy

Redwood Trail — Trail hiked in full during this recording

River View Trail — Return route to the campground

systems

Redwoods — Ecological system described in detail: microclimate generation, canopy soil, fog capture, non-parasitic epiphytes

RV — Dwelling and power system; organization and appliance load are ongoing calibration

Solar / battery system — Power constraint governing dehumidifier, heater, and cooking; 20-30% daily draw

AI — Consulted for pre-arrival weather expectations; its description matched

Christmas tree cutting grids — Forest Service parcel mapping he describes as fascinating

concepts

Sudden oak death — Signage subject he flags for later research

media

Ninja Foodi — Cooking appliance; competes with heater and dehumidifier for available power

YouTube channel — Publication surface with comments disabled by design

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

mirror

bridge

threshold

fog

rain

river

roots

border

grid

canopy

cavern

phone

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

sovereign (comments disabled, external commentary declared irrelevant to his life)

transitional (place, work, and power systems all under active test; 'limbo state' named by him)

embedded (moving through fog, rain, and trail with continuous somatic and ecological attention)

coherent-under-ambiguity (states comfort with not having answers; works toward contours rather than conclusions)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

somatic (balance assessment at the log crossing, lung and leg load on 400 ft gain, vaping named as conditioning variable)

ecological (redwood microclimate mechanics, fog capture, epiphytic growth, riverbed reading)

infrastructural (RV organization, solar capacity, battery draw, appliance contention)

economic (finances named as constraint on quitting vaping; work restart and client acquisition scheduled)

navigational (route-finding, trailhead map reading, repeated self-location checks)

relational (comment policy, parasocial structure, proximity thresholds with other campers)

media-critical (phone attachment, GoPro alternative, connection-versus-disconnection thesis)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

contours / borders of what works for me

I don't need to have the answers

fragmentation of your point of view

I'm just a mirror

where I belong

off-grid boondocking

these things do not provide connection

Narrative

Mirror

You start at the river because it rained all night and you want to see what the water did. It hasn't risen much. You say so, and you keep walking. The sky is closed — fog in the mountains, cloud cover, no sun anywhere, and later on the trail you look up and cannot locate the sun at all and say so directly. The ground is wet and slippery. You reach the downed tree over the water, step toward it, register that your balance feels off, and turn back. You name it: not risking it, not a child anymore. You find another way out, up to the road. The assessment takes seconds and you do not revisit it.

Multiple systems run at once and none of them wait for the others. Your lungs and legs register the four hundred feet of gain and you attribute it to the vaping, then immediately place the vaping against your finances and state that quitting could go badly enough to matter materially. Your RV is mostly organized and you say the organizing never ends. Your batteries drop twenty to thirty percent overnight, your dehumidifier and your heater cannot run together, and the Ninja Foodie cannot run with either — two appliances is one too many. You are reading redwoods while you walk: microclimate generation, fog drawn down to ground level, epiphytes that take nothing from the host and add stability by wrapping their roots around the branches. You do not know the word for those trees and you say you don't. Today is the day you picked to add work back in. Thursday you leave for the coast for three days, then two weeks back here, then north — casually, without skipping things.

You check your position out loud four separate times. Once you don't know which way. Once you announce that you know exactly where you are. Once you arrive at a place and recognize it as the place you thought you were at earlier, and you call that funny. Once you're closer to the end than you expected. The route holds — river, road, Redwood Trail, River View Trail, campground — and you complete it, and you say you're proud of yourself because you resisted coming out and came anyway.

You state the tension is not the place. It is the people, the driving, the density of others living this same lifestyle, the park ranger. You respect the van lifer running a generator on the roadside and you would not park next to them. You name Oregon as unresolved, Nevada as a possible return, Washington, Wyoming, Kansas as open. You call it a limbo state. You say you don't live your life making up answers, that you are comfortable with ambiguity, that what you are doing is working toward the contours of what works for you — borders you are still locating by walking into them.

The relational position closes hard and does not soften afterward. Comments are disabled. You state that other people's commentary is not relevant to your life, that you expected viewers to speak about their own lives in comparison to yours and they did not. Then the phone: you don't want it in your hand, you're considering the GoPro, you're considering leaving the phone behind. You describe the person parked at the riverbed staring at a screen and explicitly decline to judge them because you do it too. Then you dissolve the frame you are speaking inside of — you are not connected to the viewer, you are a mirror of their own struggles and fears and joys, you are not a real person to them and they could not be one to you, and you say this while holding the camera that makes it true. You end with an instruction to sit with it.

What is absent: any sun, any conclusion, any request. No resolution offered on place, on work, on power, on the vaping. No apology for the length, no accommodation of the audience, no claim of having arrived. You say you might not have much to say, then talk for the duration of the hike, then stop when you are done.

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Hiking Redwood Trail, Working Out Terms of Mobile Life

Energetic Quality

Journey Phase

Directional Vector

Tags

Summary

Environment

Substrate

Actions

Performed

Referenced

Planned

Entities

Symbolic Elements

Ontological States

Engaged Subsystems

Dominant Language

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