Rain, Power Loss, and First Weeks in the Camper

01HWDMRVN8C7ZWJZWT29QNA320

PUBLIC

April 26, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.20

Density 0.80

Energetic Quality

steady and diffuse, low-amplitude and thinking aloud

Journey Phase

transitional — mid-relocation, systems not yet settled

Directional Vector

into full-time mobile living, toward reconstructing an income architecture

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Transcript

[0:00] so I wasn't sure my surge protector is

[0:03] waterproof but I saw it puddling up out

[0:05] there so I went out there you know put

[0:08] it on top of a stand and then put that

[0:12] tarp around

[0:13] it um and it was blinking and I don't

[0:16] have power in here so something

[0:19] happened um yeah these are things you're

[0:22] just going to have

[0:24] to you know be mindful of I'm definitely

[0:28] going to not you know I should have

[0:30] probably done that as soon as I got here

[0:32] have a little blue tarp somewhere that I

[0:34] normally wrap around it should have done

[0:37] that you

[0:39] know oh well um lesson

[0:42] learned it's raining pretty hard this

[0:45] morning hi

[0:47] Oliver um it's supposed to end soon

[0:50] they're

[0:53] saying um we lost

[0:55] power it's weird coincidence because I

[0:58] saw that like my surge there was a

[1:01] puddle building up near my surge

[1:02] protector so I went out there just to

[1:04] protect it and then all of a sudden we

[1:06] didn't have power

[1:08] so

[1:12] um I don't know I think I've done

[1:14] everything that I'm supposed to I hope

[1:16] maybe I should have turned the circuit

[1:17] breaker

[1:21] off

[1:23] so maybe disconnect completely idon

[1:28] know and what do other people people do

[1:30] right it's how you learn this

[1:38] stuff they have so much stuff over there

[1:40] like wow like wow I mean like their

[1:43] campsite is like it's just that's a lot

[1:46] of stuff I'll show you what are they

[1:48] doing over

[1:50] there partying it up I

[1:58] guess now we're spying on them

[2:03] too so there with me guys um want to

[2:08] talk about

[2:09] something it's going to be difficult I

[2:12] think cuz I don't really have the words

[2:13] for it yet I haven't thought it through

[2:16] I never do when I talk to you

[2:20] guys Ian I might be thinking about

[2:22] something but I don't ever

[2:24] know what I'm going to say

[2:27] really I don't script anything

[2:35] I

[2:36] am contemplating my life choices

[2:40] today and it's not the rain just want to

[2:43] be clear about that I love rain it's not

[2:45] the rain it's not that I don't have

[2:47] powers none of

[2:48] that it's just how I felt when I woke

[2:51] up

[2:57] um this is a big transition

[3:00] so if you're going to do it just know

[3:03] that it's not you

[3:04] know I've spent a month now just getting

[3:08] ready um and it's been so busy that I

[3:11] haven't really had time to

[3:13] really I guess experience what life is

[3:16] like in this

[3:18] thing you know what I mean like

[3:23] just um just living in it moving it you

[3:27] know breaking Camp putting camp together

[3:30] all that stuff like cooking in it I

[3:32] haven't even cooked in here

[3:34] yet I didn't even eat yesterday I

[3:36] haven't eaten

[3:37] today

[3:46] um I don't first of all I am different

[3:49] than a lot most people I just am I'm not

[3:52] even saying that's a good thing in a lot

[3:54] of ways it's not so

[3:58] um maybe other people would not have so

[4:01] many challenges compared to me I don't

[4:03] know I I I imagine not

[4:06] though I mean look at these guys they

[4:11] clearly you

[4:12] know have embrac this lifestyle pretty

[4:16] well I don't know that they do it

[4:18] fulltime but I mean that's the point

[4:20] even if they they're not they sure know

[4:22] how to Camp don't

[4:28] they um

[4:31] it feels really hard with my

[4:36] cats they're not happy today they want

[4:38] to be outside they destroyed the place

[4:40] while I was

[4:42] sleeping

[4:46] um oh my God that looks like a tiny

[4:50] scorpion oh my

[4:52] God I know they're going to seek revenge

[4:55] on me one

[4:57] day no power I don't think so I thing

[5:01] popped up on my

[5:03] phone nope no

[5:06] power I'll check on it in a little while

[5:09] it says the rain will stop in the next

[5:10] hour

[5:14] so where's my coffee

[5:17] go

[5:18] man I will be

[5:28] back well let me just start with this

[5:30] guys I don't want to be complaining all

[5:32] the time that's not me it really isn't

[5:36] maybe it

[5:37] is you

[5:39] know how well do we really know

[5:42] ourselves I'm learning a lot about

[5:44] myself through this channel that's for

[5:47] sure um anyways I'm embracing today I'm

[5:50] going to go and get some food I'm going

[5:52] to go find a store

[5:54] and I want to make chili today you know

[5:57] just something that I can eat all week I

[6:00] love making

[6:01] chili um I have some other clips from

[6:05] this morning that I'll piece together

[6:07] after this and you know it's very clear

[6:10] that I'm going to go through withraw

[6:11] soon and um just kind of want to be

[6:13] prepared for that the best that I can I

[6:18] guess I need to go home

[6:20] tomorrow um and just finish whatever is

[6:26] there that fan by the way the first time

[6:29] that I drove it um to the first Park I

[6:32] forgot to close it and it's stuck the

[6:35] the thing is stuck up there and I went

[6:38] up

[6:39] there with my telescoping ladder before

[6:43] I came here that was scary and it was

[6:46] just too far over the edge for me to get

[6:48] to it and I just didn't do anything

[6:50] about it

[6:52] so

[6:54] um I'm really struggling to race this

[6:57] life I can just imagine some people are

[7:00] watching me and they're like yeah you

[7:02] shouldn't be doing this you

[7:04] know um somebody wrote me that comment

[7:07] once on Facebook and I was like you're a

[7:10] [ __ ] but whatever they're probably

[7:13] right

[7:14] too

[7:20] um it doesn't matter like whether I'm

[7:24] good at this or bad at this this is what

[7:27] I want to do so I'm going to do it you

[7:28] know it's that

[7:30] simple and if that's how you feel then

[7:32] do it you know you don't have to be good

[7:34] at

[7:35] something all the time you know you can

[7:38] learn to be good at something

[7:40] overtime um I really don't like people

[7:43] who seem to think that you just have to

[7:46] be a master of everything in order you

[7:48] know or you're just not allowed to do it

[7:50] or something my friend Brandon he is

[7:53] learning the program right now and he's

[7:54] doing a great job I'm very proud of him

[7:58] um

[8:01] you know if there's something you want

[8:03] to do just do it you will get better at

[8:07] it so I've never addressed this I don't

[8:10] like smoking around my cats okay I hate

[8:12] that I do for a long time I didn't um I

[8:15] had a room dedicated to smoking and air

[8:18] purifiers everywhere it's a little

[8:21] harder to do in this

[8:22] camper but I do have those fans that

[8:25] just blow all the smoke right out the

[8:27] you know the roof so I feel a little bit

[8:29] about it from that angle but yes it's

[8:32] not the greatest thing in the

[8:34] world um they don't deserve to have

[8:39] their health impacted by my poor choices

[8:41] in

[8:42] life

[8:45] um I wish I had never started and it's

[8:48] so stupid the the reason I started was

[8:50] to get back at my parents like any

[8:51] 16-year-old is just a

[8:53] dummy um and then look what it's done to

[8:56] me like 30 years later I'm still smoking

[9:00] so dumb don't start guys don't start if

[9:02] there is ever some young person watching

[9:06] me just don't you think that you

[9:10] can everybody thinks that they can stop

[9:13] when they want to it doesn't work that

[9:15] way don't don't ever start ever just

[9:20] don't it is not worth it and it's not

[9:22] even that great like it's not like

[9:24] you're you're not missing out on

[9:26] anything you're really not you're not

[9:28] missing out

[9:31] um you know there's much better things

[9:33] out there okay there

[9:37] is totally just rambling I guess I'm not

[9:40] even getting to the

[9:45] point

[9:48] um I'm starting to feel the pressure of

[9:51] needing to

[9:53] work and it's been a long time since

[9:56] I've had to do any freelancing cuz I've

[9:58] been with the same client for 10 years

[10:00] which means I don't even have a

[10:02] website um for my projects or

[10:07] um and when you're a freelancer reviews

[10:09] are very important you know like on

[10:11] upwork or guru.com and I got them on

[10:14] guru.com and they're old you know it's

[10:17] been a long time and I'm going to have

[10:19] to build up a presence on there again

[10:21] and that takes time and you kind of work

[10:23] for cheaper because you know you got to

[10:25] get people to trust you and try you out

[10:27] and all that kind of stuff and it's just

[10:28] a problem

[10:30] process

[10:32] um God and it's really not where I

[10:35] wanted to end up it's like not what I

[10:36] wanted

[10:39] to I didn't want to be here again but I

[10:42] don't see how I have a choice I have to

[10:43] make

[10:45] money um and I don't know any other way

[10:47] so that's what I've done my whole life

[10:49] that's how I've managed to get from

[10:51] point A to point B my whole

[10:55] life well not always like I've I've

[10:58] worked many gas stations I you

[11:01] know

[11:05] um you know I'm just saying like that's

[11:08] how my programming work has always gone

[11:10] always as a freelancer and then you find

[11:12] a client that you really like and they

[11:13] like you and you end up working together

[11:15] a long time

[11:16] and

[11:19] um you know I quit my job and just cuz I

[11:22] was burnt out we're still

[11:25] talking um he owes me money and he's

[11:28] struggling to pay

[11:29] and

[11:31] um or choosing not to I don't know

[11:36] um we're talking about me maybe coming

[11:39] back and working on some AI stuff but

[11:42] you

[11:44] know just I don't know if that's going

[11:46] to work out so I'm just thinking about

[11:48] what am I going to

[11:50] do

[11:53] I it's not something I have to do right

[11:55] away you know and I don't even think I

[11:58] could because I'm going to be

[12:00] um moving West for a while like a whole

[12:03] month I guess

[12:05] so be hard to work during under those

[12:08] conditions I think um just constantly

[12:13] moving but it's on my mind today I guess

[12:16] and I'm imagining a life like um what my

[12:19] life will look like um doing that in a

[12:23] camper really hope that you are just a

[12:25] gat and not a

[12:28] mosquito toate a

[12:32] that that's another thing you move into

[12:35] a camper expect to deal with insects

[12:38] that's for

[12:39] sure and expect them to get revenge I

[12:43] know they

[12:44] will they always

[12:53] do oh I was trying to figure out what

[12:54] that noise is it's my fan over there

[12:56] which means it's running on the battery

[12:59] real worried about my batteries I never

[13:00] even looked at them I don't know what

[13:01] they are how good they are how charged

[13:04] they are

[13:06] nothing the rain stopped I have to go

[13:10] out there and just see maybe

[13:11] the um you know just see why isn't it

[13:17] on I really thought I mean it was on all

[13:20] night and it had been raining so I don't

[13:23] know but I'm glad I went out there and

[13:25] did that like that's just being

[13:27] responsible I was like oh puddle forming

[13:29] better do something about

[13:33] it um what time is

[13:36] it it's only 9 o' in the morning guys

[13:43] wow so

[13:48] yeah a full day ahead

[13:59] guess this is going to be a boring one I

[14:01] don't really have a lot to say I'm

[14:10] just it's sinking in

[14:13] now that's what's happening good sing

[14:16] in I'll leave it there you guys have a

[14:19] good day what is

[14:21] today wow it's Friday have a good

[14:24] weekend what the [ __ ] is that up there

[14:27] oh my God

[14:30] Oliver pointed it out he looked up there

[14:32] like oh my God I vacuumed it up it's

[14:35] gone now whatever that

[14:38] was this is why you get cats by the way

[14:42] I was going to say I slept in this

[14:44] morning and then I looked at the time at

[14:46] 7:30 in the morning that does not

[14:48] count it was raining

[14:52] so it's wet out there cat stuff is going

[14:55] to be

[14:57] wet oh

[15:03] I need

[15:06] coffee

[15:08] mhm good morning everyone I haven't been

[15:12] up very long

[15:14] so I'm sure I'll sound like

[15:18] that um still smoking my first cigarette

[15:22] over

[15:24] here

[15:26] um it's raining outside we're not going

[15:28] to be able to like do anything out there

[15:31] the cats will not

[15:35] understand well you Bailey what do you

[15:38] mean I can't go outside in the

[15:40] rain

[15:42] you did he make it in the shot I wasn't

[15:47] watching

[15:49] um so I was thinking I was going to go

[15:52] on to Walmart today or

[15:54] something um that's what the attendant

[15:57] had mentioned was there's a Walmart

[15:58] around here

[16:00] and get stuff to make chili in my crock

[16:02] poot cuz I haven't done that yet and

[16:04] then I was like I'll have to make

[16:07] hamburger and I don't have very much

[16:11] propane so I mean I guess I could do it

[16:14] on the grill it's raining

[16:17] though I'll figure it out I might I'm

[16:20] probably going to that's what I'm saying

[16:23] and um I have I realized I haven't even

[16:26] cooked in here yet like at all I've

[16:28] never returned that thing

[16:34] on I wonder how much propane it takes to

[16:37] like use it you know I have no idea I

[16:41] have 11% so that's what I

[16:49] got um and I'll probably just live with

[16:51] that you know like I did the last camera

[16:53] I didn't use it at all

[16:55] so um until I have to move

[16:59] cuz so if I'm going to get propane it's

[17:01] I think it's going to be at one of those

[17:02] big truck stops that's probably the only

[17:04] place I'll ever get

[17:06] propane it just know me you

[17:10] know unless I can go to like

[17:14] well so hard like I

[17:19] just you know you got to pack everything

[17:21] up and bring the slid in

[17:24] and deal with the cats that's a big one

[17:31] just to get resources for this

[17:33] thing it's

[17:35] hard hopefully the cats will get

[17:37] adjusted to this because I think they

[17:39] are Oliver's doing well

[17:42] he's maybe over time it will become

[17:44] normal it is weird in here though guys I

[17:47] one day I'll I'll try to record what

[17:50] it's like driving in here

[17:53] like it is like a little earthquake

[17:55] going down the road like it's it's wild

[17:58] like you you can feel it it's you know

[18:00] you can feel the sway of your your

[18:04] house um everything's rattling if it's a

[18:07] bad Road you really feel it

[18:10] um I mean I can understand why the

[18:13] cats don't do so

[18:18] well what everything was knocked down

[18:21] when I woke up everything these cats

[18:24] have managed to knock everything down

[18:27] they knocked more things down and then

[18:29] night I did driving

[18:34] here oh don't do that

[18:36] [Music]

[18:37] man

[18:39] please are you

[18:41] bored their toys are getting wet out

[18:44] there I I'm

[18:46] like you

[18:48] know that really sucks like if you have

[18:51] to break Camp every single day that's

[18:53] going to get old and yet I think I have

[18:56] to because now their stuff is going you

[19:00] know

[19:03] um the stuff that they play in like that

[19:06] stuff drives real easy their toys are

[19:09] not going to

[19:15] though it's nice though I love rain I

[19:18] really love rain it's like my favorite

[19:20] thing like one of my favorite things in

[19:22] the world

[19:24] so

[19:27] um yeah

[19:30] I'm going to get some

[19:31] coffee well let me just talk about this

[19:34] real

[19:36] fast I have 10 of these trod

[19:43] doll for some reason I had the same

[19:46] doctor for decades and he's an awesome

[19:48] man and I love this man I mean I feel

[19:50] like he saved my life genuinely when he

[19:53] put me on copen cuz I was not eating I

[19:56] was you know just

[19:59] mentally way messed up and this man

[20:03] helped me get through all of that and we

[20:05] were talking

[20:07] decades and then the second I move into

[20:09] an RV the man freaks out and won't

[20:12] prescribe my meds anymore even though

[20:14] I'm I'm not now but I was in still in

[20:17] Kentucky so I don't have a choice

[20:19] because I'm going to go through withdraw

[20:22] I don't have a choice so and I'm not

[20:25] excited about it it's a little scary you

[20:27] know I don't want to go through that but

[20:29] at the same time I really want to get

[20:31] off these things so if this is the only

[20:33] way to do it then that's how I'm going

[20:35] to do it you

[20:37] know um there's been a couple times on

[20:41] my channel where there have been

[20:42] comments about it and

[20:46] just you know I I don't know another way

[20:49] so you know not without like I don't

[20:52] know another way what do you just find

[20:54] another doctor and hope that it works

[20:56] out I don't see it working out not in

[20:59] this country not after what we've been

[21:01] through with opian

[21:03] so um I wish I had just never taken them

[21:06] but I do have a lot of physical pain

[21:10] and they helped they do help

[21:15] and but they also hurt you so it's a

[21:18] double Ed sword with these

[21:21] things

[21:23] so I don't have a choice I'm going to go

[21:25] through withdrawal that's just the way

[21:27] it is it's the way it has to to be there

[21:30] was a giant bug in here last night

[21:32] Oliver what are you doing man oh my

[21:37] God anyways it looked very scary I don't

[21:41] know what it

[21:43] was Oliver noticed it first I'm so glad

[21:46] for

[21:48] him this one don't want to be good this

[21:52] morning I hell no don't do that man

[21:55] taking my meds

[22:04] I didn't e it all yesterday I'm

[22:09] hungry like that car was coming over

[22:11] here what are they

[22:14] doing it's one way this is like a easy

[22:17] one at least I know how to get out of

[22:24] here this oliv over here

[22:32] you haven't find

[22:34] Oliver hey

[22:41] you Oliver can I move this or you know

[22:44] let me move the

[22:46] pillow what are you

[22:49] doing they see you're tail

[22:54] wagging it's rainy out there you know

[22:57] that right you know that means it's wet

[23:00] right hope you guys aren going to try to

[23:02] go outside

[23:06] today it looks nice out there though I

[23:10] like watching rain on on water like when

[23:12] it you know drops into a lake

[23:15] whatever my windows are

[23:21] dirty a bird over there

[23:34] so wow there are a lot of insects around

[23:38] here um which makes sense you're near

[23:40] water whatever but I'll remember that

[23:43] for

[23:47] sure I'm was going to say something but

[23:49] I don't know how to say it I'm kind of

[23:51] contemplating it

[24:00] um I like the attention but I also don't

[24:03] so I'm like really struggling with that

[24:05] right now

[24:11] because um why does everybody like have

[24:14] to have an opinion

[24:16] like

[24:19] about I've tried to be real diplomatic

[24:23] here um just let me be me you know I

[24:26] don't have to be any different than I am

[24:28] um you can be different than me you know

[24:31] you can like things that I don't

[24:33] like

[24:35] um we don't have to be the same we

[24:39] really don't hi

[24:42] Bailey hi

[24:44] buddy these cats really do seem to like

[24:47] this new life just because it brings

[24:49] them so much closer to me CU I can't get

[24:51] away from

[24:53] them and I I got to get out I need

[24:56] coffee Bailey this is not going to work

[24:59] this is not going to

[25:02] work oh it's

[25:05] getting

[25:07] um not I'm going to have to deal with

[25:10] that

[25:11] today maded this cat has so much for you

[25:16] know that's the problem you deal with

[25:18] with cats like

[25:20] this you

[25:22] know when I woke up I he was giving over

[25:25] a bath I'm like give yourself a bath

[25:27] Bailey never clean

[25:29] himself but no don't clean his brother

[25:34] though I not sure why but we don't feel

[25:37] very lovable it feels like we're

[25:39] traveling that

[25:41] way

[25:43] um I didn't think it was any worse than

[25:45] the last place but I don't know I just

[25:47] feel like you're moving downhill and I

[25:50] didn't put my stabilizer down

[25:52] because I'm worried it's going to go

[25:55] down and never come back up again

[25:58] know I have socks around here

[26:01] somewhere oh come

[26:06] on I'm done you guys it's very hard to

[26:10] get organized in a place like

[26:14] this you will you will learn that if you

[26:17] decide to do

[26:19] this you want Little socks not big ones

[26:23] thank you

[26:29] um I really should

[26:35] like just debating it I mean I do need

[26:38] to drive up there and empty the

[26:40] tanks guys you made such a mess in here

[26:43] like

[26:46] wow I didn't even put my like I didn't

[26:49] do I didn't like nothing like you know I

[26:53] didn't really like set up camp or

[26:55] anything

[27:00] no reason to I guess I

[27:04] just will be like when we really do

[27:07] start moving though

[27:09] like every two days like I'm trying to

[27:12] figure

[27:14] out cuz that's going to be my life for a

[27:17] while at least until I get there and

[27:19] then you know maybe we'll chill for a

[27:21] while

[27:24] but um trying to think about how to do

[27:27] that efficiently you

[27:29] know sorry guys my nose is running

[27:33] today well with everything disconnected

[27:36] I should be able to make coffee pretty

[27:37] easy you know hopefully I won't blow a

[27:42] fuse oh my

[27:45] gosh this is a weird way to live guys it

[27:48] truly

[27:51] is

[27:53] um just as you need water no I'm out of

[27:58] my bottle

[28:01] water oh I use a water filter but still

[28:06] Oliver nobody wants you in their coffee

[28:08] all right nobody come on come

[28:11] on

[28:20] Oliver all

[28:23] right you guys have made a terrible mess

[28:25] in here like what happened happened in

[28:29] here while I was

[28:37] sleeping what are you guys been doing

[28:40] huh thought you were sleeping with

[28:46] me

[28:54] however this is not too

[28:56] bad so I know what to do with this

[29:00] stuff giant bug of that

[29:05] vacuum oh my God you can see it in

[29:09] there whatever the hell is scary very

[29:20] scary I'm going to show

[29:23] you

[29:25] kitties it's very

[29:28] um what

[29:32] out oh they poor

[29:37] clothes mean yeah I knew it wasn't under

[29:43] the mining

[29:49] so you got to hurry or this thing won't

[29:51] let you do a second one of

[29:55] these without waiting like a minute or

[29:58] something to do

[29:59] with some kind it's a feature I'd call

[30:02] it a bug

[30:07] honestly you guys can look out there

[30:11] but just as long as you understand it's

[30:14] very wet you don't want to be out

[30:17] there yeah it's very wet you can see it

[30:20] on top of your things first one's fine

[30:23] it's under the awning

[30:25] but you could even tell where

[30:34] sorry guys it's an indoor day for you

[30:37] two see I wasn't fast enough the milk

[30:41] finished and the coffee

[30:45] thingy ready going to make me

[30:50] wait

[30:55] um oh here we go cool

[30:58] sometimes it'll just sit there and

[31:00] you'll just be like

[31:01] why so something doesn't get too hot or

[31:05] I don't

[31:07] know give us coffee coffee maker

[31:30] really I need the patient of the Gods

[31:31] for

[31:43] this didn't sound

[31:53] right let's figure this

[31:55] out don't go up there please please

[32:00] don't please I'm begging you don't do

[32:05] it because they already made a terrible

[32:08] mess all right

[32:13] already yeah I'm sliding downhill here

[32:16] like that is not

[32:19] good we need to get more

[32:24] level today would be the day to drain

[32:26] your tanks cuz nobody else will want to

[32:29] you know out in the

[32:39] rain

[32:42] CS all right you mind going for a drive

[32:48] today I don't know how I'm going to do

[32:50] this with

[32:52] them Oliver got

[32:56] so V violence inside of his carrier that

[33:01] I was worried he'd hurt himself so I had

[33:03] to let him

[33:11] out I

[33:13] mean I'm thinking I don't have a choice

[33:16] but to start giving them benro you

[33:19] know I don't want to do that but I don't

[33:22] know that I have a choice

[33:42] it's probably about one though right I

[33:44] mean you want them to

[33:47] feel safe

[33:49] and I mean maybe that's the only

[33:53] way you have I don't know I don't know

[33:59] you know I haven't seen any Youtubers

[34:01] with cats somebody mentioned one I meant

[34:03] to look it up and

[34:05] forgot

[34:09] um wait I've seen them with cats what

[34:12] how

[34:15] come how are they doing it I you know

[34:18] how are they doing it I have seen

[34:25] it I mean

[34:29] and I've seen quite a few I don't I

[34:31] can't think of anything that has been

[34:32] said that they're doing special for

[34:35] their cats so I don't

[34:40] know I mean Size Doesn't Matter right I

[34:43] mean as far as like they all had bigger

[34:46] campers but that doesn't matter right

[34:49] like cats are cats they're not going

[34:52] to be

[34:54] happy regardless of this you know like

[34:59] I don't know I don't know what I'm

[35:01] saying so I'm definitely going to go to

[35:04] Walmart today or a grocery store anyway

[35:07] and

[35:10] um there something oh and I'm going to

[35:12] find a tire

[35:14] place I don't know if it'll be like

[35:21] um I don't

[35:23] know I'll figure this stuff

[35:25] out I feel like I have lot of thinking

[35:28] to

[35:29] do

[35:33] um took a lot of work to get to this

[35:35] point right and I just I need to think

[35:39] of the next

[35:41] part for one Jesus Oliver

[35:46] um I'm thinking about work

[35:49] now I'm going to have to make a new

[35:52] website and um

[35:58] probably do some freelancing at some

[35:59] point and I just need to get ready for

[36:04] that things aren't going well my old

[36:07] boss he's long long story not every

[36:11] we're talking about I guess um

[36:34] you better be good down there been real

[36:37] bad this morning man

[0:00] so I wasn't sure my surge protector is

[0:03] waterproof but I saw it puddling up out

[0:05] there so I went out there you know put

[0:08] it on top of a stand and then put that

[0:12] tarp around

[0:13] it um and it was blinking and I don't

[0:16] have power in here so something

[0:19] happened um yeah these are things you're

[0:22] just going to have

[0:24] to you know be mindful of I'm definitely

[0:28] going to not you know I should have

[0:30] probably done that as soon as I got here

[0:32] have a little blue tarp somewhere that I

[0:34] normally wrap around it should have done

[0:37] that you

[0:39] know oh well um lesson

[0:42] learned it's raining pretty hard this

[0:45] morning hi

[0:47] Oliver um it's supposed to end soon

[0:50] they're

[0:53] saying um we lost

[0:55] power it's weird coincidence because I

[0:58] saw that like my surge there was a

[1:01] puddle building up near my surge

[1:02] protector so I went out there just to

[1:04] protect it and then all of a sudden we

[1:06] didn't have power

[1:08] so

[1:12] um I don't know I think I've done

[1:14] everything that I'm supposed to I hope

[1:16] maybe I should have turned the circuit

[1:17] breaker

[1:21] off

[1:23] so maybe disconnect completely idon

[1:28] know and what do other people people do

[1:30] right it's how you learn this

[1:38] stuff they have so much stuff over there

[1:40] like wow like wow I mean like their

[1:43] campsite is like it's just that's a lot

[1:46] of stuff I'll show you what are they

[1:48] doing over

[1:50] there partying it up I

[1:58] guess now we're spying on them

[2:03] too so there with me guys um want to

[2:08] talk about

[2:09] something it's going to be difficult I

[2:12] think cuz I don't really have the words

[2:13] for it yet I haven't thought it through

[2:16] I never do when I talk to you

[2:20] guys Ian I might be thinking about

[2:22] something but I don't ever

[2:24] know what I'm going to say

[2:27] really I don't script anything

[2:35] I

[2:36] am contemplating my life choices

[2:40] today and it's not the rain just want to

[2:43] be clear about that I love rain it's not

[2:45] the rain it's not that I don't have

[2:47] powers none of

[2:48] that it's just how I felt when I woke

[2:51] up

[2:57] um this is a big transition

[3:00] so if you're going to do it just know

[3:03] that it's not you

[3:04] know I've spent a month now just getting

[3:08] ready um and it's been so busy that I

[3:11] haven't really had time to

[3:13] really I guess experience what life is

[3:16] like in this

[3:18] thing you know what I mean like

[3:23] just um just living in it moving it you

[3:27] know breaking Camp putting camp together

[3:30] all that stuff like cooking in it I

[3:32] haven't even cooked in here

[3:34] yet I didn't even eat yesterday I

[3:36] haven't eaten

[3:37] today

[3:46] um I don't first of all I am different

[3:49] than a lot most people I just am I'm not

[3:52] even saying that's a good thing in a lot

[3:54] of ways it's not so

[3:58] um maybe other people would not have so

[4:01] many challenges compared to me I don't

[4:03] know I I I imagine not

[4:06] though I mean look at these guys they

[4:11] clearly you

[4:12] know have embrac this lifestyle pretty

[4:16] well I don't know that they do it

[4:18] fulltime but I mean that's the point

[4:20] even if they they're not they sure know

[4:22] how to Camp don't

[4:28] they um

[4:31] it feels really hard with my

[4:36] cats they're not happy today they want

[4:38] to be outside they destroyed the place

[4:40] while I was

[4:42] sleeping

[4:46] um oh my God that looks like a tiny

[4:50] scorpion oh my

[4:52] God I know they're going to seek revenge

[4:55] on me one

[4:57] day no power I don't think so I thing

[5:01] popped up on my

[5:03] phone nope no

[5:06] power I'll check on it in a little while

[5:09] it says the rain will stop in the next

[5:10] hour

[5:14] so where's my coffee

[5:17] go

[5:18] man I will be

[5:28] back well let me just start with this

[5:30] guys I don't want to be complaining all

[5:32] the time that's not me it really isn't

[5:36] maybe it

[5:37] is you

[5:39] know how well do we really know

[5:42] ourselves I'm learning a lot about

[5:44] myself through this channel that's for

[5:47] sure um anyways I'm embracing today I'm

[5:50] going to go and get some food I'm going

[5:52] to go find a store

[5:54] and I want to make chili today you know

[5:57] just something that I can eat all week I

[6:00] love making

[6:01] chili um I have some other clips from

[6:05] this morning that I'll piece together

[6:07] after this and you know it's very clear

[6:10] that I'm going to go through withraw

[6:11] soon and um just kind of want to be

[6:13] prepared for that the best that I can I

[6:18] guess I need to go home

[6:20] tomorrow um and just finish whatever is

[6:26] there that fan by the way the first time

[6:29] that I drove it um to the first Park I

[6:32] forgot to close it and it's stuck the

[6:35] the thing is stuck up there and I went

[6:38] up

[6:39] there with my telescoping ladder before

[6:43] I came here that was scary and it was

[6:46] just too far over the edge for me to get

[6:48] to it and I just didn't do anything

[6:50] about it

[6:52] so

[6:54] um I'm really struggling to race this

[6:57] life I can just imagine some people are

[7:00] watching me and they're like yeah you

[7:02] shouldn't be doing this you

[7:04] know um somebody wrote me that comment

[7:07] once on Facebook and I was like you're a

[7:10] [ __ ] but whatever they're probably

[7:13] right

[7:14] too

[7:20] um it doesn't matter like whether I'm

[7:24] good at this or bad at this this is what

[7:27] I want to do so I'm going to do it you

[7:28] know it's that

[7:30] simple and if that's how you feel then

[7:32] do it you know you don't have to be good

[7:34] at

[7:35] something all the time you know you can

[7:38] learn to be good at something

[7:40] overtime um I really don't like people

[7:43] who seem to think that you just have to

[7:46] be a master of everything in order you

[7:48] know or you're just not allowed to do it

[7:50] or something my friend Brandon he is

[7:53] learning the program right now and he's

[7:54] doing a great job I'm very proud of him

[7:58] um

[8:01] you know if there's something you want

[8:03] to do just do it you will get better at

[8:07] it so I've never addressed this I don't

[8:10] like smoking around my cats okay I hate

[8:12] that I do for a long time I didn't um I

[8:15] had a room dedicated to smoking and air

[8:18] purifiers everywhere it's a little

[8:21] harder to do in this

[8:22] camper but I do have those fans that

[8:25] just blow all the smoke right out the

[8:27] you know the roof so I feel a little bit

[8:29] about it from that angle but yes it's

[8:32] not the greatest thing in the

[8:34] world um they don't deserve to have

[8:39] their health impacted by my poor choices

[8:41] in

[8:42] life

[8:45] um I wish I had never started and it's

[8:48] so stupid the the reason I started was

[8:50] to get back at my parents like any

[8:51] 16-year-old is just a

[8:53] dummy um and then look what it's done to

[8:56] me like 30 years later I'm still smoking

[9:00] so dumb don't start guys don't start if

[9:02] there is ever some young person watching

[9:06] me just don't you think that you

[9:10] can everybody thinks that they can stop

[9:13] when they want to it doesn't work that

[9:15] way don't don't ever start ever just

[9:20] don't it is not worth it and it's not

[9:22] even that great like it's not like

[9:24] you're you're not missing out on

[9:26] anything you're really not you're not

[9:28] missing out

[9:31] um you know there's much better things

[9:33] out there okay there

[9:37] is totally just rambling I guess I'm not

[9:40] even getting to the

[9:45] point

[9:48] um I'm starting to feel the pressure of

[9:51] needing to

[9:53] work and it's been a long time since

[9:56] I've had to do any freelancing cuz I've

[9:58] been with the same client for 10 years

[10:00] which means I don't even have a

[10:02] website um for my projects or

[10:07] um and when you're a freelancer reviews

[10:09] are very important you know like on

[10:11] upwork or guru.com and I got them on

[10:14] guru.com and they're old you know it's

[10:17] been a long time and I'm going to have

[10:19] to build up a presence on there again

[10:21] and that takes time and you kind of work

[10:23] for cheaper because you know you got to

[10:25] get people to trust you and try you out

[10:27] and all that kind of stuff and it's just

[10:28] a problem

[10:30] process

[10:32] um God and it's really not where I

[10:35] wanted to end up it's like not what I

[10:36] wanted

[10:39] to I didn't want to be here again but I

[10:42] don't see how I have a choice I have to

[10:43] make

[10:45] money um and I don't know any other way

[10:47] so that's what I've done my whole life

[10:49] that's how I've managed to get from

[10:51] point A to point B my whole

[10:55] life well not always like I've I've

[10:58] worked many gas stations I you

[11:01] know

[11:05] um you know I'm just saying like that's

[11:08] how my programming work has always gone

[11:10] always as a freelancer and then you find

[11:12] a client that you really like and they

[11:13] like you and you end up working together

[11:15] a long time

[11:16] and

[11:19] um you know I quit my job and just cuz I

[11:22] was burnt out we're still

[11:25] talking um he owes me money and he's

[11:28] struggling to pay

[11:29] and

[11:31] um or choosing not to I don't know

[11:36] um we're talking about me maybe coming

[11:39] back and working on some AI stuff but

[11:42] you

[11:44] know just I don't know if that's going

[11:46] to work out so I'm just thinking about

[11:48] what am I going to

[11:50] do

[11:53] I it's not something I have to do right

[11:55] away you know and I don't even think I

[11:58] could because I'm going to be

[12:00] um moving West for a while like a whole

[12:03] month I guess

[12:05] so be hard to work during under those

[12:08] conditions I think um just constantly

[12:13] moving but it's on my mind today I guess

[12:16] and I'm imagining a life like um what my

[12:19] life will look like um doing that in a

[12:23] camper really hope that you are just a

[12:25] gat and not a

[12:28] mosquito toate a

[12:32] that that's another thing you move into

[12:35] a camper expect to deal with insects

[12:38] that's for

[12:39] sure and expect them to get revenge I

[12:43] know they

[12:44] will they always

[12:53] do oh I was trying to figure out what

[12:54] that noise is it's my fan over there

[12:56] which means it's running on the battery

[12:59] real worried about my batteries I never

[13:00] even looked at them I don't know what

[13:01] they are how good they are how charged

[13:04] they are

[13:06] nothing the rain stopped I have to go

[13:10] out there and just see maybe

[13:11] the um you know just see why isn't it

[13:17] on I really thought I mean it was on all

[13:20] night and it had been raining so I don't

[13:23] know but I'm glad I went out there and

[13:25] did that like that's just being

[13:27] responsible I was like oh puddle forming

[13:29] better do something about

[13:33] it um what time is

[13:36] it it's only 9 o' in the morning guys

[13:43] wow so

[13:48] yeah a full day ahead

[13:59] guess this is going to be a boring one I

[14:01] don't really have a lot to say I'm

[14:10] just it's sinking in

[14:13] now that's what's happening good sing

[14:16] in I'll leave it there you guys have a

[14:19] good day what is

[14:21] today wow it's Friday have a good

[14:24] weekend what the [ __ ] is that up there

[14:27] oh my God

[14:30] Oliver pointed it out he looked up there

[14:32] like oh my God I vacuumed it up it's

[14:35] gone now whatever that

[14:38] was this is why you get cats by the way

[14:42] I was going to say I slept in this

[14:44] morning and then I looked at the time at

[14:46] 7:30 in the morning that does not

[14:48] count it was raining

[14:52] so it's wet out there cat stuff is going

[14:55] to be

[14:57] wet oh

[15:03] I need

[15:06] coffee

[15:08] mhm good morning everyone I haven't been

[15:12] up very long

[15:14] so I'm sure I'll sound like

[15:18] that um still smoking my first cigarette

[15:22] over

[15:24] here

[15:26] um it's raining outside we're not going

[15:28] to be able to like do anything out there

[15:31] the cats will not

[15:35] understand well you Bailey what do you

[15:38] mean I can't go outside in the

[15:40] rain

[15:42] you did he make it in the shot I wasn't

[15:47] watching

[15:49] um so I was thinking I was going to go

[15:52] on to Walmart today or

[15:54] something um that's what the attendant

[15:57] had mentioned was there's a Walmart

[15:58] around here

[16:00] and get stuff to make chili in my crock

[16:02] poot cuz I haven't done that yet and

[16:04] then I was like I'll have to make

[16:07] hamburger and I don't have very much

[16:11] propane so I mean I guess I could do it

[16:14] on the grill it's raining

[16:17] though I'll figure it out I might I'm

[16:20] probably going to that's what I'm saying

[16:23] and um I have I realized I haven't even

[16:26] cooked in here yet like at all I've

[16:28] never returned that thing

[16:34] on I wonder how much propane it takes to

[16:37] like use it you know I have no idea I

[16:41] have 11% so that's what I

[16:49] got um and I'll probably just live with

[16:51] that you know like I did the last camera

[16:53] I didn't use it at all

[16:55] so um until I have to move

[16:59] cuz so if I'm going to get propane it's

[17:01] I think it's going to be at one of those

[17:02] big truck stops that's probably the only

[17:04] place I'll ever get

[17:06] propane it just know me you

[17:10] know unless I can go to like

[17:14] well so hard like I

[17:19] just you know you got to pack everything

[17:21] up and bring the slid in

[17:24] and deal with the cats that's a big one

[17:31] just to get resources for this

[17:33] thing it's

[17:35] hard hopefully the cats will get

[17:37] adjusted to this because I think they

[17:39] are Oliver's doing well

[17:42] he's maybe over time it will become

[17:44] normal it is weird in here though guys I

[17:47] one day I'll I'll try to record what

[17:50] it's like driving in here

[17:53] like it is like a little earthquake

[17:55] going down the road like it's it's wild

[17:58] like you you can feel it it's you know

[18:00] you can feel the sway of your your

[18:04] house um everything's rattling if it's a

[18:07] bad Road you really feel it

[18:10] um I mean I can understand why the

[18:13] cats don't do so

[18:18] well what everything was knocked down

[18:21] when I woke up everything these cats

[18:24] have managed to knock everything down

[18:27] they knocked more things down and then

[18:29] night I did driving

[18:34] here oh don't do that

[18:36] [Music]

[18:37] man

[18:39] please are you

[18:41] bored their toys are getting wet out

[18:44] there I I'm

[18:46] like you

[18:48] know that really sucks like if you have

[18:51] to break Camp every single day that's

[18:53] going to get old and yet I think I have

[18:56] to because now their stuff is going you

[19:00] know

[19:03] um the stuff that they play in like that

[19:06] stuff drives real easy their toys are

[19:09] not going to

[19:15] though it's nice though I love rain I

[19:18] really love rain it's like my favorite

[19:20] thing like one of my favorite things in

[19:22] the world

[19:24] so

[19:27] um yeah

[19:30] I'm going to get some

[19:31] coffee well let me just talk about this

[19:34] real

[19:36] fast I have 10 of these trod

[19:43] doll for some reason I had the same

[19:46] doctor for decades and he's an awesome

[19:48] man and I love this man I mean I feel

[19:50] like he saved my life genuinely when he

[19:53] put me on copen cuz I was not eating I

[19:56] was you know just

[19:59] mentally way messed up and this man

[20:03] helped me get through all of that and we

[20:05] were talking

[20:07] decades and then the second I move into

[20:09] an RV the man freaks out and won't

[20:12] prescribe my meds anymore even though

[20:14] I'm I'm not now but I was in still in

[20:17] Kentucky so I don't have a choice

[20:19] because I'm going to go through withdraw

[20:22] I don't have a choice so and I'm not

[20:25] excited about it it's a little scary you

[20:27] know I don't want to go through that but

[20:29] at the same time I really want to get

[20:31] off these things so if this is the only

[20:33] way to do it then that's how I'm going

[20:35] to do it you

[20:37] know um there's been a couple times on

[20:41] my channel where there have been

[20:42] comments about it and

[20:46] just you know I I don't know another way

[20:49] so you know not without like I don't

[20:52] know another way what do you just find

[20:54] another doctor and hope that it works

[20:56] out I don't see it working out not in

[20:59] this country not after what we've been

[21:01] through with opian

[21:03] so um I wish I had just never taken them

[21:06] but I do have a lot of physical pain

[21:10] and they helped they do help

[21:15] and but they also hurt you so it's a

[21:18] double Ed sword with these

[21:21] things

[21:23] so I don't have a choice I'm going to go

[21:25] through withdrawal that's just the way

[21:27] it is it's the way it has to to be there

[21:30] was a giant bug in here last night

[21:32] Oliver what are you doing man oh my

[21:37] God anyways it looked very scary I don't

[21:41] know what it

[21:43] was Oliver noticed it first I'm so glad

[21:46] for

[21:48] him this one don't want to be good this

[21:52] morning I hell no don't do that man

[21:55] taking my meds

[22:04] I didn't e it all yesterday I'm

[22:09] hungry like that car was coming over

[22:11] here what are they

[22:14] doing it's one way this is like a easy

[22:17] one at least I know how to get out of

[22:24] here this oliv over here

[22:32] you haven't find

[22:34] Oliver hey

[22:41] you Oliver can I move this or you know

[22:44] let me move the

[22:46] pillow what are you

[22:49] doing they see you're tail

[22:54] wagging it's rainy out there you know

[22:57] that right you know that means it's wet

[23:00] right hope you guys aren going to try to

[23:02] go outside

[23:06] today it looks nice out there though I

[23:10] like watching rain on on water like when

[23:12] it you know drops into a lake

[23:15] whatever my windows are

[23:21] dirty a bird over there

[23:34] so wow there are a lot of insects around

[23:38] here um which makes sense you're near

[23:40] water whatever but I'll remember that

[23:43] for

[23:47] sure I'm was going to say something but

[23:49] I don't know how to say it I'm kind of

[23:51] contemplating it

[24:00] um I like the attention but I also don't

[24:03] so I'm like really struggling with that

[24:05] right now

[24:11] because um why does everybody like have

[24:14] to have an opinion

[24:16] like

[24:19] about I've tried to be real diplomatic

[24:23] here um just let me be me you know I

[24:26] don't have to be any different than I am

[24:28] um you can be different than me you know

[24:31] you can like things that I don't

[24:33] like

[24:35] um we don't have to be the same we

[24:39] really don't hi

[24:42] Bailey hi

[24:44] buddy these cats really do seem to like

[24:47] this new life just because it brings

[24:49] them so much closer to me CU I can't get

[24:51] away from

[24:53] them and I I got to get out I need

[24:56] coffee Bailey this is not going to work

[24:59] this is not going to

[25:02] work oh it's

[25:05] getting

[25:07] um not I'm going to have to deal with

[25:10] that

[25:11] today maded this cat has so much for you

[25:16] know that's the problem you deal with

[25:18] with cats like

[25:20] this you

[25:22] know when I woke up I he was giving over

[25:25] a bath I'm like give yourself a bath

[25:27] Bailey never clean

[25:29] himself but no don't clean his brother

[25:34] though I not sure why but we don't feel

[25:37] very lovable it feels like we're

[25:39] traveling that

[25:41] way

[25:43] um I didn't think it was any worse than

[25:45] the last place but I don't know I just

[25:47] feel like you're moving downhill and I

[25:50] didn't put my stabilizer down

[25:52] because I'm worried it's going to go

[25:55] down and never come back up again

[25:58] know I have socks around here

[26:01] somewhere oh come

[26:06] on I'm done you guys it's very hard to

[26:10] get organized in a place like

[26:14] this you will you will learn that if you

[26:17] decide to do

[26:19] this you want Little socks not big ones

[26:23] thank you

[26:29] um I really should

[26:35] like just debating it I mean I do need

[26:38] to drive up there and empty the

[26:40] tanks guys you made such a mess in here

[26:43] like

[26:46] wow I didn't even put my like I didn't

[26:49] do I didn't like nothing like you know I

[26:53] didn't really like set up camp or

[26:55] anything

[27:00] no reason to I guess I

[27:04] just will be like when we really do

[27:07] start moving though

[27:09] like every two days like I'm trying to

[27:12] figure

[27:14] out cuz that's going to be my life for a

[27:17] while at least until I get there and

[27:19] then you know maybe we'll chill for a

[27:21] while

[27:24] but um trying to think about how to do

[27:27] that efficiently you

[27:29] know sorry guys my nose is running

[27:33] today well with everything disconnected

[27:36] I should be able to make coffee pretty

[27:37] easy you know hopefully I won't blow a

[27:42] fuse oh my

[27:45] gosh this is a weird way to live guys it

[27:48] truly

[27:51] is

[27:53] um just as you need water no I'm out of

[27:58] my bottle

[28:01] water oh I use a water filter but still

[28:06] Oliver nobody wants you in their coffee

[28:08] all right nobody come on come

[28:11] on

[28:20] Oliver all

[28:23] right you guys have made a terrible mess

[28:25] in here like what happened happened in

[28:29] here while I was

[28:37] sleeping what are you guys been doing

[28:40] huh thought you were sleeping with

[28:46] me

[28:54] however this is not too

[28:56] bad so I know what to do with this

[29:00] stuff giant bug of that

[29:05] vacuum oh my God you can see it in

[29:09] there whatever the hell is scary very

[29:20] scary I'm going to show

[29:23] you

[29:25] kitties it's very

[29:28] um what

[29:32] out oh they poor

[29:37] clothes mean yeah I knew it wasn't under

[29:43] the mining

[29:49] so you got to hurry or this thing won't

[29:51] let you do a second one of

[29:55] these without waiting like a minute or

[29:58] something to do

[29:59] with some kind it's a feature I'd call

[30:02] it a bug

[30:07] honestly you guys can look out there

[30:11] but just as long as you understand it's

[30:14] very wet you don't want to be out

[30:17] there yeah it's very wet you can see it

[30:20] on top of your things first one's fine

[30:23] it's under the awning

[30:25] but you could even tell where

[30:34] sorry guys it's an indoor day for you

[30:37] two see I wasn't fast enough the milk

[30:41] finished and the coffee

[30:45] thingy ready going to make me

[30:50] wait

[30:55] um oh here we go cool

[30:58] sometimes it'll just sit there and

[31:00] you'll just be like

[31:01] why so something doesn't get too hot or

[31:05] I don't

[31:07] know give us coffee coffee maker

[31:30] really I need the patient of the Gods

[31:31] for

[31:43] this didn't sound

[31:53] right let's figure this

[31:55] out don't go up there please please

[32:00] don't please I'm begging you don't do

[32:05] it because they already made a terrible

[32:08] mess all right

[32:13] already yeah I'm sliding downhill here

[32:16] like that is not

[32:19] good we need to get more

[32:24] level today would be the day to drain

[32:26] your tanks cuz nobody else will want to

[32:29] you know out in the

[32:39] rain

[32:42] CS all right you mind going for a drive

[32:48] today I don't know how I'm going to do

[32:50] this with

[32:52] them Oliver got

[32:56] so V violence inside of his carrier that

[33:01] I was worried he'd hurt himself so I had

[33:03] to let him

[33:11] out I

[33:13] mean I'm thinking I don't have a choice

[33:16] but to start giving them benro you

[33:19] know I don't want to do that but I don't

[33:22] know that I have a choice

[33:42] it's probably about one though right I

[33:44] mean you want them to

[33:47] feel safe

[33:49] and I mean maybe that's the only

[33:53] way you have I don't know I don't know

[33:59] you know I haven't seen any Youtubers

[34:01] with cats somebody mentioned one I meant

[34:03] to look it up and

[34:05] forgot

[34:09] um wait I've seen them with cats what

[34:12] how

[34:15] come how are they doing it I you know

[34:18] how are they doing it I have seen

[34:25] it I mean

[34:29] and I've seen quite a few I don't I

[34:31] can't think of anything that has been

[34:32] said that they're doing special for

[34:35] their cats so I don't

[34:40] know I mean Size Doesn't Matter right I

[34:43] mean as far as like they all had bigger

[34:46] campers but that doesn't matter right

[34:49] like cats are cats they're not going

[34:52] to be

[34:54] happy regardless of this you know like

[34:59] I don't know I don't know what I'm

[35:01] saying so I'm definitely going to go to

[35:04] Walmart today or a grocery store anyway

[35:07] and

[35:10] um there something oh and I'm going to

[35:12] find a tire

[35:14] place I don't know if it'll be like

[35:21] um I don't

[35:23] know I'll figure this stuff

[35:25] out I feel like I have lot of thinking

[35:28] to

[35:29] do

[35:33] um took a lot of work to get to this

[35:35] point right and I just I need to think

[35:39] of the next

[35:41] part for one Jesus Oliver

[35:46] um I'm thinking about work

[35:49] now I'm going to have to make a new

[35:52] website and um

[35:58] probably do some freelancing at some

[35:59] point and I just need to get ready for

[36:04] that things aren't going well my old

[36:07] boss he's long long story not every

[36:11] we're talking about I guess um

[36:34] you better be good down there been real

[36:37] bad this morning man

8:33

Setting Up the Camper and Retrieving the Cats

Apr 20, 2024

2:03

Mounting Storage Baskets in the Camper

Apr 20, 2024

0:41

Recalling Firesworn Nation in EVE Online

Apr 21, 2024

4:33

Day Eleven: Cold Mornings and Neighbor Departures

Apr 21, 2024

2:38

Routing Next Stop and Deferring Dental Work

Apr 21, 2024

2:56

Managing Gray Tank Limits and Booking Tennessee Site

Apr 21, 2024

1:34

Unpacking Books and Storage Outside the Camper

Apr 21, 2024

1:35

Fixing Water Hookup and Deploying Solar Panel

Apr 21, 2024

0:44

Responding to RV Miles Video on Homelessness

Apr 22, 2024

3:15

Preparing RV Interior Before Retrieving Cats

Apr 22, 2024

2:26

Planning Route to Great Basin National Park

Apr 22, 2024

1:43

Day 12: Missing Journals and Retrieving Cats

Apr 22, 2024

46:56

Driving Cats to Camper, Documenting Family History

Apr 23, 2024

12:47

Documenting Day 13 of RV Life at Campsite

Apr 24, 2024

15:34

Recording Late-Night Before Camp Move, Day 14

Apr 24, 2024

2:40

Contemplating Platform Control and New Morning Rituals

Apr 24, 2024

15:03

Organizing Camper Storage on Day 14

Apr 24, 2024

10:22

Mapping RV Route to Great Basin National Park

Apr 24, 2024

9:37

Closing Out Day 14 Before Departure

Apr 25, 2024

37:19

Preparing Travel Day With Cats and Tapering Plan

Apr 25, 2024

2:32

Departing Solo for Tennessee with Cats and RV

Apr 25, 2024

36:41

Rain, Power Loss, and First Weeks in the Camper

Apr 26, 2024

9:26

Recovering Journals, Driving to Carthage Walmart

Apr 26, 2024

21:31

Cooking First Chili in the Camper on a Windy Day

Apr 27, 2024

5:43

Explaining Why Tapering Is Not Available

Apr 27, 2024

3:23

Clearing the House, Recovering the Journals

Apr 27, 2024

21:34

Assessing Camper Level While Tapering Off Opioids

Apr 28, 2024

3:14

Waking to an Emptied Campground, Recalibrating the Day

Apr 28, 2024

2:11

Leveling the RV, Weighing Travel Pace

Apr 28, 2024

2:53

Day One of Withdrawal at the Campground

Apr 29, 2024

4:23

Documenting First Night Off Opioids

Apr 29, 2024

20:41

Walking the Campground on Site 77

Apr 29, 2024

3:19

Setting Up Twitch Stream Without Sleep

Apr 29, 2024

6:08

Addressing Trolls, Gray Tank, and Cat Housing Decision

Apr 30, 2024

2:55

Relocating Cats to Parents Early in Camper Life

Apr 30, 2024

6:58

Handing Off Cats and Leaving the House

Apr 30, 2024

5:29

Recalibrating Route Plan Mid-Drive Through Tennessee

May 1, 2024

12:08

Day 21 Systems Check and Final Walkthrough

May 1, 2024

13:46

Moving Sites, Restocking, Renaming the Channel

May 1, 2024

17:15

Dumping Tanks and Repositioning to New Site

May 2, 2024

2:07

Acknowledging Loneliness as Structural Recalibration

May 2, 2024

PUBLIC

April 26, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.20

Density 0.80

Energetic Quality

steady and diffuse, low-amplitude and thinking aloud

Journey Phase

transitional — mid-relocation, systems not yet settled

Directional Vector

into full-time mobile living, toward reconstructing an income architecture

Narrative

The rain came hard that Friday morning, and rswfire was awake earlier than he wanted to be — 7:30, which he noted did not count as sleeping in. Outside, water was collecting where it shouldn't. He had seen the puddle forming near the surge protector and gone out into it, lifting the unit onto a stand and wrapping the tarp around it, doing the thing that seemed responsible. Then the power dropped. He could not establish whether the two events were connected. He ran through what he might have done differently — turned the breaker off first, disconnected fully, kept a small blue tarp staged for exactly this — and filed it: lesson learned. That was how you learned this stuff. He said so plainly, without heat, and let it stand as procedure rather than as a verdict on himself.

Inside, the camper held two cats and the accumulated evidence of their night. Everything that could be knocked down had been knocked down — more, he observed, than the drive itself had shaken loose, and the drive was like a little earthquake, the whole house swaying, everything rattling on a bad road. Oliver moved through the frame repeatedly. Bailey came and went. Neither understood the rain, and both wanted the door. Their toys were out there getting wet, which meant the toys couldn't travel, which meant breaking camp would take longer, which was the kind of arithmetic that would compound if he had to do it every two days for the next month. The roof fan was running — audible, and running on battery, which he had not planned for and which drew his attention to the batteries themselves. He stated he had never looked at them. Didn't know what they were, how good they were, how charged. That went onto the list too.

He watched the campsite across the way, where the neighbors had an extensive amount of gear laid out, and said wow twice. They clearly knew how to camp. He did not know whether they lived this way full-time and said the distinction didn't matter to what he was noticing. He was one month into it, and most of that month had gone to getting ready — breaking camp, setting up camp, moving the thing — rather than to living in it. He hadn't cooked in the camper yet. Hadn't turned the propane appliance on once. Hadn't eaten the day before, and hadn't eaten yet that morning. Eleven percent propane, and the nearest fill was probably a truck stop, which meant packing everything, bringing the slide in, and loading the cats, all of it to obtain one resource for the rig.

Somewhere in the middle of the rain he set down the question that had been sitting underneath the morning. He said he was contemplating his life choices, and immediately clarified: not because of the rain — he loves rain, says it's one of his favorite things in the world — and not the power, either. It was how he felt when he woke up. He said he had no words for it yet, that he never scripts anything, that he learns about himself through the channel. Then he answered the question anyway, on his own terms. Some people watching would say he shouldn't be doing this; someone had already said as much in a comment. He allowed they might be right. And then: whether he's good at this or bad at this, this is what he wants to do, so he's going to do it. You don't have to be good at something. You can learn to be good at it over time. He mentioned his friend Brandon, learning to program, doing a great job, and said he was proud of him.

The other threads surfaced without ceremony. Ten pills left. A physician he'd had for decades — a man he describes as awesome, a man he says genuinely saved his life — who stopped prescribing at the moment he moved into the RV, while he was still in Kentucky. rswfire stated he doesn't see finding another doctor working out, not in this country, not after what the last years of opioid policy have been. So withdrawal is coming, and he said he isn't excited about it, that it's a little scary, and also that he wants off them, and if this is the only route then this is the route. He noted the pain is real and the medication helped and also hurt — a double-edged sword, in his words. He said he doesn't have a choice, three times, evenly, the way you'd state a fixed condition of a system rather than a grievance.

The economic layer surfaced the same way. Ten years with one client meant no portfolio site, no current reviews — the ones on guru.com are old — and a re-entry into freelancing that would mean working cheap while rebuilding trust. He said it wasn't where he wanted to end up, that he didn't want to be here again, and then that he has to make money and doesn't know another way; that's how he's moved from point A to point B his whole life. His old boss still owes him. There was talk of coming back to do AI work, but he didn't know if it would materialize. He also noted he'd be moving west for roughly a month, and working under those conditions — constantly moving — seemed unlikely. It was on his mind, he said, not urgent, just present.

By the time the rain eased he had a day assembled out of the pieces: check the pedestal and find out why the power was still off, drive to the Walmart the attendant had mentioned, buy what he needed for chili in the crock pot — something he could eat all week — find a tire place, drain the tanks, and get the rig more level, because he could feel himself sliding downhill and had left the stabilizers up out of concern they'd go down and not come back. The cats would have to come along, and he raised the sedation question openly: Oliver had thrashed hard enough inside the carrier that he'd let him out rather than risk injury. He said he doesn't want to give them Benadryl and doesn't know that he has another option, and that maybe feeling safe is worth it. He vacuumed up whatever the large insect was that Oliver had spotted on the ceiling, made coffee with the power disconnected, waited out the machine's slow cycle, and remarked that everything here was near water, which explained the bugs, and that he'd remember that. Then he checked the day and found it was Friday, and said it was only nine in the morning, a full day ahead. It's sinking in now, he said. That's what's happening. And he left it there.

Summary

rswfire records a morning transmission from the camper during heavy rain, opening with power loss after he moved his surge protector onto a stand and wrapped it in a tarp when a puddle formed near it. He notes the timing as coincidence, questions whether he should have cut the breaker, and states he will check the setup once the rain stops. He also flags battery unknowns — he has not inspected them — and low propane at 11%.

He describes the first month in the RV as consumed by preparation and logistics rather than living in it: he has not cooked in the camper, did not eat the previous day, and has an open roof fan stuck in position since the first park. The cats, Oliver and Bailey, knocked things down overnight and are confined indoors by the wet; he describes Oliver's reaction inside the carrier and is weighing sedation options for travel.

He states plans for the day: drive out for groceries, make chili in the crock pot, find a tire place, dump tanks, and level the rig.

Other threads he raises directly:

Freelance re-entry — no current website, dated guru.com reviews, an ex-client who owes him money, possible AI work
Upcoming opioid withdrawal after his longtime doctor stopped prescribing when he moved into the RV
Smoking around the cats, and a direct statement to younger viewers not to start
Viewer commentary — he states people can be different from him and asks to be left as he is

Environment

Recorded inside a travel trailer/camper at a campground during heavy morning rain, approximately 9:00 AM on a Friday. The site is near water — rswfire notes high insect density and attributes it to the proximity of a lake or similar body of water. This is an early-stage waypoint in a cross-country westward relocation; rswfire states he is still in transit and references Kentucky as the prior residence and a home he needs to return to the following day.

Shore power is out. A surge protector outside was found sitting in a forming puddle, was elevated onto a stand and wrapped in a tarp, and afterward the power dropped; a roof fan is now running on battery. The camper is not leveled and stabilizers are not deployed. Two cats, Oliver and Bailey, are indoors and confined by the rain. Nearby campers are visible across the way with an extensively equipped campsite. A grocery run to Walmart, a tire shop visit, and tank draining are all pending.

Substrate

The architecture here is a system in early operation before its operating procedures exist — rig, power, propane, animals, body, and income all being learned simultaneously and in real time, with each failure logged as procedure rather than as verdict. rswfire holds a stance that competence is acquired, not prerequisite: he explicitly separates whether he is good at this from whether he intends to do it, and resolves the question on intent. What is dissolving is the prior structural scaffolding — the decade-long single client, the decades-long prescribing physician, the fixed residence — and what is being built is a replacement set of self-authored dependencies, none of which is yet load-bearing.

Actions

Performed

•documenting the power loss on camera
•checking phone for outage status
•observing the neighboring campsite
•smoking first cigarette of the morning
•making coffee with the machine
•taking meds
•vacuuming up a large insect
•managing and narrating the cats
•cleaning up items the cats knocked down
•noting the camper is sliding downhill / not level
•identifying the fan noise as battery draw
•looking for socks
•stating he has not eaten yesterday or today

Referenced

•elevating the surge protector onto a stand and tarping it
•spending a month preparing for the transition
•leaving a job due to burnout
•working with the same client for ten years
•working freelance his whole life, plus gas station work
•building old reviews on guru.com
•leaving the roof fan open while driving, jamming it
•climbing a telescoping ladder to reach the stuck fan and stopping
•letting Oliver out of the carrier mid-drive
•keeping a dedicated smoking room with air purifiers previously
•starting smoking at sixteen
•being prescribed by the same physician for decades
•physician declining to continue prescribing after the RV move
•receiving a discouraging comment on Facebook
•the cats destroying the interior overnight

Planned

•going out to inspect the power connection once rain stops
•driving to Walmart or a grocery store
•making chili in the crock pot to eat all week
•finding a tire place
•driving up to empty the tanks
•returning home tomorrow to finish remaining tasks
•moving west for roughly a month, relocating every two days
•going through opioid withdrawal and getting off the medication
•building a new website and freelance presence
•possibly returning to the former client for AI work
•considering Benadryl for the cats during drives
•editing together other clips from the morning
•getting propane at a truck stop when he next moves
•recording what driving the camper feels like

Entities

beings

Oliver — Cat; spotted the large insect, reacted violently in his carrier during a drive, adapting to the camper per rswfire

Bailey — Cat; grooming Oliver, wanting outdoor access, blocked by rain

Brandon — Friend currently learning to program; cited as evidence that skill is acquired over time

old client / old boss — Ten-year client, owes money, possible AI work discussion pending

longtime physician — Decades-long prescriber; rswfire states the man saved his life and then stopped prescribing after the RV move

places

Kentucky — Prior state of residence; the prescribing relationship was based there

Walmart — Nearby store mentioned by the campground attendant; destination for chili supplies

systems

guru.com — Freelance platform holding his aged reviews

Upwork — Freelance platform named as part of the presence he would need to rebuild

Facebook — Source of a comment telling him he shouldn't be doing this

surge protector — Shore power interface; found in a forming puddle, elevated and tarped, blinking after power loss

concepts

withdrawal — Named as imminent and unavoidable; framed as the mechanism by which he gets off the medication

breaking camp — The recurring operational unit of the coming month of travel

media

the channel — The YouTube audience he addresses directly; described as a mechanism through which he is learning about himself

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

rain

power loss

puddle

tarp

threshold

stuck roof fan

unleveled ground / sliding downhill

insects

the neighboring well-equipped campsite

coffee

battery

carrier

withdrawal

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

transitional (one month into full-time camper living, procedures not yet established)

sovereign (frames competence as optional and intent as sufficient — 'whether I'm good at this or bad at this, this is what I want to do')

unsupported by prior structures (client, physician, fixed residence all discontinued in the same window)

embedded (cats, weather, insects, and rig systems all press directly on the operating day)

self-observing (states he is learning about himself through the channel, speaking unscripted)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

infrastructural (shore power, surge protector, batteries, propane, tanks, tires, leveling and stabilizers)

somatic (no food for two days, physical pain, imminent opioid withdrawal, smoking, running nose)

custodial (two cats: containment, drive stress, mess management, air quality, sedation question)

economic (freelance re-entry, dead reviews, no portfolio site, unpaid invoice, possible AI contract)

medical-institutional (decades-long prescriber discontinuing at the point of relocation; national opioid policy context)

cognitive (thinking aloud without script, comparing his operation against other campers and other YouTubers)

media (channel as running log; audience opinion pressure; clip assembly)

environmental (rain, water proximity, insect load, wet gear)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

I don't have a choice

lesson learned / how you learn this stuff

big transition

breaking camp / setting up camp

withdrawal

you don't have to be good at something

it's sinking in

figure it out

Narrative

Mirror

It is 9:00 on a Friday morning and it is raining hard. You are inside the camper, the rig is not leveled, the stabilizers are not down, and you can feel yourself sliding downhill. The shore power is out. You went outside because a puddle was forming under the surge protector, you set it on a stand and wrapped it in a tarp, and then the power dropped. You do not know whether those two things are connected. The roof fan is running on battery, and it is running because you left it open on the first drive and it is stuck up there — you took a telescoping ladder to it once, found it too far over the edge, and came back down. You have never looked at your batteries. You do not know what they are, how good they are, or how charged. You state this plainly and do not follow it anywhere.

The subsystems in motion this morning are infrastructural, custodial, somatic, and economic, and they are all in the same room. Propane is at 11%. The tanks need draining. The tires need a shop. The oven has never been turned on. Two cats are indoors, wet-blocked, and they took the place apart while you slept; Oliver spotted the insect before you did, Bailey is licking the wrong animal, and one of them went violent enough inside a carrier that you let him out mid-drive. You have not eaten in two days. You are on your first cigarette and your nose is running. You have ten tramadol and a prescriber of decades who stopped writing at the point of relocation. You name the withdrawal as arriving, name it as scary, and name it as the way off. Then you move to the coffee maker, which is making you wait.

The energy is low and even. There is no spike anywhere in this. You correct the record twice — it is not the rain, you love the rain; it is not the power. You place the source at how you felt when you woke up and you do not elaborate past that, because you say you do not have the words yet and you never script. You are speaking without knowing the ending of the sentence, and you say so while doing it. The recurring phrases are procedural: lesson learned, that's how you learn this stuff, I'll figure it out, I don't have a choice. Each failure this morning is logged as procedure. None of it is logged as verdict.

You look across the way at the campsite with all the equipment and you register the gap without closing it. You say those people know how to camp. You say you are different from most people and that in a lot of ways it is not a good thing. Then you separate the two questions cleanly: whether you are good at this, and whether this is what you want to do. You resolve on the second and discard the first. The comment on Facebook that said you shouldn't be doing this — you call the person a name and then say they are probably right too, and neither of those changes what you do next. The same structure repeats around the audience: you like the attention and you don't, and the request is to be left as you are rather than to be agreed with.

What is being dismantled is stated directly and in sequence: the ten-year client, the decades-long doctor, the fixed house in Kentucky you have to drive back to tomorrow. What is being built is named but not yet standing — a website that does not exist, reviews that have gone old on guru.com, an invoice unpaid, an AI contract that may or may not materialize, a month of westward movement during which you say you could not work anyway. You say this is not where you wanted to end up, you say you didn't want to be here again, and you follow it with the fact that you have to make money and know one way to do it. There is no plan attached to that yet. There is no reversal attached to it either.

What is present: rain, coffee, cats, insects, a tarp, a full day ahead. What is absent: leveling, stabilizers, food, a portfolio, a working knowledge of your own power system, a resolution to any of the above, and any move to unmake the decision that put you here. You end it by saying it is sinking in, and you leave it there.

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Rain, Power Loss, and First Weeks in the Camper

Energetic Quality

Journey Phase

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Environment

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Performed

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Planned

Entities

Symbolic Elements

Ontological States

Engaged Subsystems

Dominant Language

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