[0:00]
So, I'm going to uh start this video by
[0:03]
addressing an audience
[0:06]
um that I haven't built yet that I
[0:07]
haven't tried to cultivate. There are
[0:09]
like eight subscribers to my channel.
[0:12]
I think they're probably people who have
[0:15]
been following my journey for quite a
[0:16]
while. They probably found my new
[0:19]
channel and
[0:21]
cuz you know the
[0:23]
just the vibe I get.
[0:26]
You'll notice that I don't allow
[0:28]
comments on my channel. I don't even
[0:29]
show the number of likes a video gets.
[0:32]
And you'll notice that the titles are
[0:35]
just a long string of letters and
[0:36]
numbers.
[0:38]
That's called a Ulid.
[0:41]
All this is deliberate.
[0:45]
[Music]
[0:46]
I had a YouTube channel for a year and a
[0:48]
half
[0:50]
and I didn't feel
[0:54]
like I had grown an audience that
[0:57]
was aligned with me.
[1:00]
I think most people
[1:03]
online
[1:05]
consume others
[1:09]
and they don't really see them as whole
[1:11]
human beings living their lives.
[1:18]
And for me that's
[1:24]
well I call it simulation.
[1:28]
You're not connecting with somebody if
[1:30]
you can't see them.
[1:34]
And so I ended that channel
[1:37]
oh I don't even know months ago.
[1:41]
I've been making videos every once in a
[1:42]
while. I've been I'm hiking. I'm a
[1:43]
little bit out of breath here. I need to
[1:48]
need to stop vaping so bad.
[1:53]
So, I'm right off the 101. Like I said,
[1:57]
I had a trail called the Taken Trail.
[1:59]
It's near our Technich Lake. It's kind
[2:02]
of the area that
[2:04]
I live in as a volunteer.
[2:07]
I just walked down here today to take
[2:09]
this trail. It's pretty long. It's like
[2:10]
three miles one way.
[2:13]
Um, and I've been going uphill the whole
[2:14]
time. We're climbing a dune. I think
[2:17]
we're climbing. Yeah, we're climb
[2:18]
climbing a dune right now.
[2:27]
Really need to quit vaping. It's the one
[2:29]
thing that I feel like I could really do
[2:31]
to improve my health.
[2:34]
It just happens to be the hardest one.
[2:37]
And so
[2:41]
even though I'm very active, I do this
[2:42]
all the time.
[2:46]
Nice of the forest service to put a
[2:47]
bench here.
[2:50]
Nice for
[2:52]
like little things like that.
[3:00]
So yeah, um just wanted to start by
[3:03]
addressing an audience so they had some
[3:05]
kind of idea of what they're walking
[3:06]
into here.
[3:09]
So I'm just going to kind of record a
[3:12]
transcript after this describing what I
[3:15]
want to do with the homepage that I'm
[3:16]
making a portfolio site for my work
[3:20]
that I'm going to transcribe and share
[3:22]
with the AI in order to have it help me
[3:23]
build it.
[3:25]
Um,
[3:32]
there's just so much. Um,
[3:38]
so I'm at
[3:41]
I'm at a pivotal point in my life, put
[3:43]
it that way.
[3:46]
Been volunteering
[3:49]
for the Forest Service for six months.
[3:53]
I'm about to start a new roll with them
[3:55]
next month, a couple weeks from now.
[4:00]
Flat broke. Haven't found a job. I have
[4:03]
been earnestly looking on Upwork.
[4:08]
I thought that I might have landed one.
[4:10]
I was really hopeful, but it didn't come
[4:12]
through. And that happens. I don't have
[4:14]
a reputation on this site yet. I built
[4:17]
one up over a long period of time on a
[4:20]
different platform and I was very
[4:22]
successful there,
[4:24]
but nobody uses it anymore.
[4:28]
And you can't really just port your
[4:30]
stuff over to a new platform cuz, you
[4:32]
know, for all kinds of reasons.
[4:35]
So, I've done everything I can I feel to
[4:39]
um give myself a solid foundation on
[4:41]
which to start building new client base.
[4:46]
um been bidding on jobs, but
[4:50]
a lot of the ones I bid on, 50 plus
[4:52]
people are also bidding on them. It's a
[4:55]
cutthroat marketplace
[4:57]
without statistics or reputation on
[4:59]
there. I'm getting ranked lower, I'm
[5:01]
sure. You have to pay for your bids.
[5:06]
Um it's
[5:08]
in some ways an exploitative
[5:09]
marketplace.
[5:11]
So, I just got to the first dune that
[5:13]
turns to sand.
[5:15]
You just walk right along the edge of
[5:17]
it. I love this place. This is a
[5:19]
wonderful place.
[5:22]
So, um
[5:25]
I'm doing everything I can, but I'm flat
[5:27]
broke and
[5:29]
don't really have everything I need as
[5:31]
far as supplies.
[5:33]
Running low on everything and don't have
[5:36]
fuel.
[5:37]
Don't really have much food.
[5:40]
um
[5:43]
sold just about everything that I can
[5:46]
and what I have left people aren't
[5:49]
wanting to buy because it's been up on
[5:51]
Facebook Marketplace for weeks or months
[5:54]
with nobody showing any interest. So,
[5:58]
I feel like I've reached
[6:01]
the base level
[6:04]
of whatever signal I'm tracking.
[6:12]
I'll either rise from here
[6:15]
or I won't.
[6:17]
But I'll learn something from it.
[6:21]
So I'm trusting
[6:28]
trusting in this process that I've been
[6:29]
following.
[6:37]
So, I guess I'll leave it at that.
[6:40]
Um,
[6:43]
if if someone happens to see this,
[6:47]
um, who knows me, who resonates with
[6:50]
this and can help, all you have to do is
[6:53]
go to my homepage, rswire.com.
[6:56]
There's a link in the description
[6:58]
and go to the contribute page. There are
[7:02]
links there for sending me money if you
[7:04]
can.
[7:06]
No doubt.
[7:09]
I'm doing everything I can to build
[7:13]
build a life that's sovereign and
[7:17]
but not
[7:20]
not separated from the world just on its
[7:23]
edge
[7:25]
where I think it makes most sense to be.
[7:28]
And that's hard to do.
[7:31]
It's definitely hard to do.
[7:33]
But I feel like I'm getting there. I
[7:35]
feel like I'm close.
[7:38]
So,
[7:40]
I'm going to switch gears here now.
[7:43]
I want to describe this project I'm
[7:45]
going to create.
[7:47]
So, originally
[7:50]
I started
[7:52]
adapting uh my my repository for
[7:56]
rswire.dev.
[7:58]
Originally, it was just a Laravel
[7:59]
project with a landing page written in
[8:02]
view.
[8:04]
Um, and then I got this idea in my head
[8:07]
about a week ago that I'd really like to
[8:09]
try using React.
[8:12]
Um,
[8:14]
feel like I we're going uphill again. By
[8:16]
the way,
[8:18]
this is some steep train here.
[8:23]
This is a wonderful experience. So,
[8:27]
so got in my head that
[8:31]
wanted to build a threeact
[8:34]
cuz I saw some code from it. It was very
[8:36]
clean and I liked it compared to how you
[8:39]
would do it in Vue.
[8:41]
So, I thought I'd use the dev site
[8:45]
um
[8:47]
to migrate my main site, the.com
[8:51]
from view to react.
[8:53]
But then I got to thinking ours.dev dev
[8:56]
is it's a good name on its own and I
[9:00]
could turn that into a portfolio site
[9:05]
featuring
[9:07]
I don't want it to be
[9:10]
um
[9:12]
don't want it to be like other people's
[9:15]
not marketing myself I'm not
[9:22]
I'm not here
[9:25]
in this world to
[9:28]
um
[9:35]
at a loss for words on this one. I just
[9:38]
feel that a different approach works for
[9:40]
me and always has.
[9:43]
I don't need to downshift. I don't need
[9:45]
to
[9:47]
um I don't do what other people do. I do
[9:49]
what resonates, what feels right to me.
[9:53]
For some reason, that's odd to most of
[9:54]
the world.
[9:57]
Perfectly logical
[10:00]
and clear to me.
[10:02]
And somehow I made it this far in life,
[10:05]
48 years, so it must be doing something
[10:07]
right.
[10:12]
So, this isn't a marketing heavy type
[10:14]
site, but I was thinking maybe it starts
[10:16]
with a landing page.
[10:19]
Maybe there's a section
[10:22]
um where I describe all the projects
[10:24]
I've worked on over my life starting
[10:27]
back in the sixth grade
[10:30]
making batch tools distributing those on
[10:33]
BBS systems.
[10:36]
um
[10:38]
name my note for my band teacher in 8th
[10:40]
grade
[10:42]
wizard matrix server
[10:45]
uh during my
[10:47]
teen years 1819
[10:51]
um writing it on paper running the code
[10:54]
in my head
[10:56]
feeling into this big system content
[10:58]
management system so that I could give
[11:00]
clients the tools to manage their own
[11:04]
content without needing me way before
[11:07]
way before those things existed and the
[11:10]
world knew we needed them.
[11:13]
I knew
[11:17]
um
[11:19]
popstar.com.
[11:21]
So,
[11:23]
not sure when this would be. I'm
[11:25]
skipping quite ahead because there was a
[11:27]
lot I did between that those two things.
[11:31]
Um,
[11:33]
but I built a gamified system where when
[11:35]
users contributed, they earned points.
[11:37]
They could use those points to bid on um
[11:40]
free merchandise and having virtual
[11:42]
auctions
[11:44]
shipped to them for free all over the
[11:45]
world. And I do that myself, all the
[11:48]
work.
[11:52]
Built a writer dashboard where um
[11:56]
freelance writers could write for our
[11:58]
site. We would track any revenue that
[12:01]
way we earned from their content and
[12:03]
split it with them 50/50
[12:08]
way before medium and substack and all
[12:10]
that. Way before
[12:14]
truly ethical.
[12:21]
I was always ahead of the curve. Always.
[12:28]
These are travel platforms. I worked on
[12:34]
these massive
[12:38]
SEM campaign 100,000 ad groups
[12:42]
targeting travel words like hotels and
[12:45]
car rentals and
[12:48]
every city in the world.
[12:50]
And then we would do price comparisons
[12:52]
way before Kayak.
[13:00]
100,000 ad groups
[13:03]
fully automated. I created all the
[13:05]
automation for this
[13:08]
way before
[13:10]
whatever people are doing now.
[13:15]
The remain music streaming service and
[13:19]
sound block the music distribution
[13:22]
platform.
[13:25]
blockchain contracts
[13:28]
that split royalties among band members
[13:32]
using crypto.
[13:35]
uh distributing their music to different
[13:36]
platforms like Spotify, tracking the
[13:38]
royalties they earn and then
[13:39]
distributing it through blockchain
[13:42]
contracts, smart contracts,
[13:45]
um tracking data through the blockchain
[13:47]
and um
[13:52]
transparent
[13:55]
royalty distribution
[13:58]
and a music streaming platform that
[13:59]
never never went live unfortunately.
[14:03]
spent years working with this client,
[14:05]
managed all kinds of other programmers
[14:06]
for him that I'd hire on Upwork,
[14:11]
but it was chaos
[14:16]
for a bunch of reasons that I've learned
[14:17]
from.
[14:22]
Feel like I'm in a place now where I
[14:24]
would set much better boundaries with
[14:25]
people.
[14:28]
It's necessary
[14:31]
for the right client.
[14:34]
I can build big things for them.
[14:43]
So, I'm just thinking about this new
[14:45]
homepage, this portfolio. So,
[14:47]
testimonials I have, not really sure how
[14:50]
many, but they're from guru.com. So,
[14:52]
when I freance there,
[14:55]
um, I can share them in a portfolio
[14:57]
project on upward.
[15:01]
Well, I can't link to them directly in
[15:03]
my bids and things like that.
[15:06]
Um,
[15:08]
but if we make this page rwfire.dev
[15:11]
the main place that I send potential
[15:13]
clients to, maybe we have a testimonials
[15:16]
page.
[15:18]
Uh, maybe we store all of that data on
[15:20]
Jason or something and display those on
[15:23]
a page and maybe feature some of them on
[15:27]
the main landing page.
[15:30]
um
[15:33]
with links to the verified reviews that
[15:36]
I've had over the years. Proof that I'm
[15:39]
different than others cuz those
[15:40]
testimonials,
[15:42]
they're not like what other people would
[15:43]
get.
[15:48]
Just need to find the right aligned
[15:50]
client now.
[15:54]
So,
[15:55]
figured I'd go for a hike,
[15:58]
just go see the ocean for a little
[16:00]
while, hike back, and then I'll start
[16:01]
doing some work. I have the next two
[16:03]
days off. These are my days off, so it's
[16:05]
kind of like my weekends. Um, I'm going
[16:07]
to use them to
[16:10]
work on this site and
[16:13]
hopefully figure out how to get some
[16:15]
money coming in cuz really need it.
[16:20]
um struggling,
[16:23]
but
[16:25]
I'm intact always
[16:30]
once I find the right aligned client,
[16:31]
everything's going to turn around very
[16:33]
quickly for me. I know this.
[16:37]
So, not panicking. I just haven't
[16:40]
figured out
[16:42]
I haven't figured out the path forward
[16:44]
through,
[16:46]
you know, where I am to where I'm trying
[16:48]
to get to. It's hard. You just kind of
[16:50]
have to trust the process and
[16:53]
you know that's what I do. I just
[16:56]
I trust myself completely. I've said
[16:59]
this many times on camera.
[17:02]
I think I'm going to start using some of
[17:04]
the language that can find in the
[17:07]
lexicon on my homepage
[17:10]
because it's really the only way to
[17:11]
explain these things and it'll feel
[17:14]
foreign to most people. But if you want
[17:17]
to understand it,
[17:19]
go to the lexicon on my homepage.
[17:22]
So what I would say is that for the past
[17:24]
year and a half,
[17:27]
I shed everything that wasn't working
[17:29]
for me until I brought myself down to
[17:32]
just pure sigma.
[17:34]
I shed everything that I didn't need in
[17:37]
order to focus on what does, what
[17:39]
matters.
[17:42]
And it hasn't been easy. It's been
[17:44]
pretty hard. And I've had some
[17:46]
unexpected experiences, but I think they
[17:49]
probably
[17:51]
serve a purpose.
[17:54]
In fact, I'm sure they do.
[17:57]
Sigma doesn't always lead you to safe
[17:59]
places, but it will lead you to truth
[18:02]
always.
[18:04]
And
[18:07]
you know, I got a lot better at
[18:09]
defending my boundaries from distortion
[18:12]
cuz I feel that sematically. I hate
[18:15]
distortion. I don't want it around to
[18:17]
me.
[18:19]
But now I'm having to interface with
[18:21]
certain systems
[18:25]
because I need some kind of an economic
[18:27]
base in order to um sustain my life to
[18:31]
do the things I want.
[18:34]
It's hard to do that without betraying
[18:37]
your yourself, your shape,
[18:41]
but I've always done it somehow.
[18:45]
It feels harder now for some reason.
[18:48]
Something about
[18:50]
um
[18:53]
everything that I've experienced over
[18:54]
the past year and a half, it's, you
[18:56]
know, I'm not the same person I was when
[18:58]
I left my house. I'm just not.
[19:04]
It's one of those rare days when there's
[19:06]
some actual insects out here in orchid.
[19:13]
That's one way I'm
[19:18]
cuz I just lost my train of thought
[19:20]
there.
[19:29]
Eventually, it'll all make sense.
[19:33]
I don't think my videos are meant to be
[19:37]
interpreted by most people right now.
[19:41]
That's okay.
[19:46]
I do this for myself first and foremost
[19:50]
also because I feel like it's part of my
[19:52]
life purpose.
[19:57]
I think at some point this these become
[20:00]
these become important in some context
[20:06]
or offerings to the world.
[20:10]
I'm hoping one day it will be able to
[20:12]
see
[20:16]
what I just can't yet.
[20:26]
I've been
[20:29]
I've been in a very contemplative state
[20:32]
for a few days now.
[20:36]
existential questions,
[20:39]
the real ones.
[20:48]
I'm trying to decide how much I want to
[20:51]
say here.
[20:56]
Um, I think I would say that
[21:02]
I'm trying
[21:04]
I'm testing the loadbearing structures.
[21:06]
of my life and my um my beliefs, my
[21:09]
values,
[21:12]
my behavior
[21:16]
um
[21:18]
against what I would call
[21:27]
base reality
[21:32]
and they boat.
[21:35]
I always do.
[21:47]
I'm just trying to understand
[21:51]
what it is I'm supposed to do with my
[21:52]
life because I just don't know.
[22:00]
It's not going to be what other people
[22:03]
think I should be doing.
[22:06]
I don't know. I'll comment on this
[22:07]
channel cuz seeing something like that
[22:09]
will get you a lot of feedback you
[22:11]
didn't ask for.
[22:16]
I'm in a limited space.
[22:18]
I'm comfortable in it.
[22:23]
My choices come from a very different
[22:25]
place than most other people's.
[22:28]
When I say I don't know,
[22:33]
what I'm heading towards,
[22:36]
what I meant to do.
[22:40]
I mean, precisely that.
[22:44]
I don't try to fix it. I let it breathe.
[22:48]
I hold it till the answer comes to me.
[22:55]
So that's where I am right now.
[23:01]
So going uphill again.
[23:04]
It's beautiful out here.
[23:09]
It is. I'll show you
[23:13]
climbing up this thing.
[23:16]
It's the trail down there. Yeah, we came
[23:18]
around the corner.
[23:24]
It's a beautiful view
[23:28]
heading towards the ocean.
[23:31]
There's another bench.
[23:39]
Year and a half ago,
[23:41]
I probably have
[23:46]
I don't myself about wanting to sit down
[23:48]
on a bench like this.
[23:50]
Like
[23:52]
feeling my age these days.
[23:58]
Got to keep doing it though.
