Morning Assessment of RV Lifestyle Fit

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July 10, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

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Density 0.60

Energetic Quality

steady low-amplitude processing

Journey Phase

recalibrating

Directional Vector

toward accurate self-assessment of a chosen lifestyle

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Chapters

Transcript

[0:01] good morning

[0:03] volans it's 7 in the morning I can't

[0:06] sleep there is stuff falling on the roof

[0:09] at terminal

[0:12] velocity birds are out making a bunch of

[0:19] noise it's just one of those

[0:23] days noways this is not fun just there

[0:26] just are that's realistic

[0:30] is right in the center of the bed

[0:33] like he's like I'm not moving like this

[0:37] is my

[0:38] space now he's

[0:46] up hi

[0:49] Bailey I have a dentist appointment

[0:53] today I really don't want to go cuz it's

[0:55] so far away and it's

[0:58] just a wax trying or something simple

[1:02] like I don't think it's very not a big

[1:09] deal I'm kind of concerned about those

[1:12] noises cuz I'm not kidding when I say

[1:15] terminal velocity like it was loud it's

[1:18] happened several times being under these

[1:27] trees this lifestyle really

[1:31] there are just so many little things you

[1:33] do not think

[1:38] about that's why I talk about them so

[1:41] that you know about

[1:46] them I don't can't say I love this yet

[1:50] because I just I I

[1:53] don't probably just been sitting here

[1:55] for an hour time to get out of this bed

[1:58] and start my day

[2:02] that's going to be a long one I need to

[2:05] empty

[2:07] that like twice a day so before somebody

[2:11] labels my first clip complaining that's

[2:15] just me processing my morning I like to

[2:18] do that on camera

[2:21] sometimes there are strategies I can

[2:24] employ I can use a fan for White Noise I

[2:28] hadn't had to do that for a while

[2:30] because where I was there's a spider in

[2:33] here

[2:35] yeah man it was like spider web you know

[2:40] which means there's a spider in

[2:42] here

[2:46] um I hadn't had to do that at my last

[2:49] spot

[2:51] because I didn't really realize this but

[2:54] you know the birds are under the Trees

[2:56] of course they

[2:58] are I didn't

[3:01] register and then the nois is on the

[3:04] roof I'm just thinking in my head you

[3:06] know I'm going to have to go up there

[3:09] now

[3:11] because um I'm afraid of heights I don't

[3:13] want to do that but I heard some pretty

[3:15] loud noises which means there's probably

[3:17] stuff up there I got to deal with I'm

[3:19] trying to deal with coffee here I think

[3:21] at this point in my journey there are

[3:23] probably different reasons that people

[3:25] follow me and if if you're subscribed to

[3:28] me because of

[3:30] my RV lifestyle you just need to know

[3:33] that it's got challenges I mean there

[3:37] it's a

[3:38] challenge um we all have different ways

[3:42] of different cognitive

[3:44] Styles I think probably for lots of

[3:46] people it's really not that bad you know

[3:49] if you don't have a fear of heights and

[3:52] um you don't do mind doing things like

[3:54] that then you know it'll be nothing to

[3:57] you to me it is

[4:00] significant like

[4:03] consideration I'm running low on

[4:05] drinking

[4:08] water so this is my daily reminder to

[4:11] get those tanks cleaned I'm doing this

[4:13] slower today because I'm going to try

[4:16] being patient for

[4:20] once let's spill my water

[4:25] everywhere okay we're all ready for

[4:28] coffee it's going

[4:30] high in the low 80s today that sounds

[4:33] like a

[4:34] blessing which is interesting

[4:37] considering high in the low 80s isn't

[4:39] actually Pleasant

[4:41] so just it's Pleasant compared to what

[4:44] we've been dealing with that's for

[4:50] sure are you having a moment over there

[4:55] Bailey you're so funny

[4:58] buddy look at you

[5:00] so

[5:01] indecent all right

[5:04] so the part that doesn't come out in my

[5:07] processing is what's going on in my head

[5:09] so at the same time that these things

[5:11] are falling on my roof I'm thinking

[5:12] should I have moved under this tree

[5:14] canopy maybe I should be in the other

[5:16] part of the campground but then I'm

[5:19] exposed

[5:20] [Music]

[5:21] to you know the Sun so it's like these

[5:24] tradeoffs and there aren't any really

[5:26] good answers you just so it's just a

[5:29] system's way of looking at it and I

[5:32] just I don't have an answer I mean cuz

[5:36] I've actually there's quite a lot of

[5:39] um wondering about these trees there's

[5:42] quite a lot of tree debris everywhere so

[5:45] might wake up one day to something

[5:49] truly

[5:56] unpleasant I'm starting to miss my

[5:58] coffee maker

[6:02] oh I love mochas in the

[6:05] morning that's what we'll have to

[6:10] do I always think if people see those

[6:13] they'll think they're bus on my ceiling

[6:15] they're just screws I used to have a net

[6:18] up there to it down I don't know what

[6:21] I'm going to do with the

[6:23] screws you been there a

[6:27] while oh that's hot

[6:31] I tried watching a movie last night I

[6:34] think it's called ji J

[6:37] XI it's about this guy who whose phone

[6:42] takes over his life with sayi on a phone

[6:44] and it is so funny I've seen it before

[6:46] and I thought let's just watch something

[6:48] like that it's not on Netflix anymore

[6:51] it's on Plex and I couldn't watch it

[6:53] because every time it would go to the

[6:55] ads the ads would like pause like

[6:58] constantly and run below and then the

[7:00] movie would be fine but then the

[7:03] ads you know I'd say they're like 2

[7:06] minutes long of ads and it would take

[7:07] like 5 10 minutes I finally just gave up

[7:11] kind of sad have thought Plex was better

[7:14] than

[7:16] that he

[7:22] Bailey I have a very demanding

[7:25] cat cats are

[7:28] demanding but this one real demanding

[7:30] here he

[7:32] comes mhm I knew this was

[7:36] coming oh you are so insistent

[7:39] Bailey yes you are I have been patting

[7:42] you all

[7:44] morning that's my coffee over there if

[7:46] you spill that it will be a

[7:50] tragedy we finally have cink

[7:55] sheets you what

[7:58] man hey

[8:00] don't push yourself against

[8:02] that he does that to my phone a lot I

[8:05] don't know if you guys can notice cuz

[8:07] like I'll be trying to control my phone

[8:10] while I'm recording and he'll be rubbing

[8:12] his face up against

[8:15] it

[8:17] oh what to do today like I am up way

[8:20] earlier than I want to be I'm so

[8:23] self-conscious about dumping my

[8:26] dehumidifier water cuz I'm always

[8:29] thinking people are going to think I'm

[8:30] dumping gray

[8:33] water I don't know why I care I keep

[8:36] telling myself I should it

[8:38] because the way I see people act around

[8:41] here like they are not considerate of

[8:44] the environment so why why do I care if

[8:48] they think I am and I actually am

[8:52] so it is a core part of the way

[8:56] I interact with this world I

[9:01] have got to overcome it it is a

[9:03] challenge I'm working

[9:05] on I mean it's just straight up water

[9:08] just water from the air there's no

[9:10] reason not to just dump

[9:12] it I have to do it so often

[9:18] like

[9:20] yeah this one was staring at me until I

[9:23] decided to point a camera at

[9:25] it melee

[9:33] hello can hear you purring

[9:37] dude you going to stare at me there you

[9:40] go show everyone the stare you have on

[9:44] you oh I know what I can do this morning

[9:48] I can put my clean clothes

[9:51] away oh it was pretty late by the time I

[9:54] got done it was I got here right before

[9:57] it was dark so

[10:00] they're just folded up sitting in my bag

[10:02] I need to put them away um I need to

[10:04] clean the bathroom today I'm going to do

[10:06] that this

[10:08] morning

[10:09] these

[10:12] normal everyday things like I've always

[10:16] struggled with those my whole

[10:18] life but I'm starting to understand why

[10:21] now I always saw it as a character flaw

[10:23] but it actually has to do with the way I

[10:25] think and just my cognitive style and

[10:29] the there's ways to overcome that you

[10:31] just when you truly understand yourself

[10:35] then anything is possible if you don't

[10:39] understand yourself then it's like

[10:40] you're

[10:41] just you're just floating through the

[10:43] world and

[10:45] not able to change in meaningful ways

[10:49] that that are deeply meaningful I have

[10:51] no teeth because of my cognitive style

[10:53] this is this is

[10:55] reality and

[10:59] I I have no judgment about it anymore

[11:02] because I get

[11:03] it apparently it's quite common for

[11:06] people with my cognitive style I'm not

[11:07] going to name names because then it

[11:09] makes it sound like I'm comparing myself

[11:11] to those people I'm

[11:13] not

[11:15] um but quite a lot of deep thinkers had

[11:20] these kinds of

[11:22] challenges so that was

[11:25] validating

[11:27] and I can use it as a lesson as a

[11:30] reminder

[11:32] that you have to maintain your systems

[11:36] you just do you have to maintain your

[11:37] systems because it's not

[11:40] efficient uh to to not

[11:44] because if you know if I had maintained

[11:48] my teeth it would have obviously been an

[11:52] a better outcome for me and a lot less

[11:55] expensive and timec consuming I had to

[11:57] go to the dentist today you know still

[11:59] dealing with getting my implants done

[12:02] and I could have avoided all of that if

[12:05] I had just

[12:08] somehow managed to convince my very

[12:10] weird brain that the little things

[12:14] matter this is such a different

[12:17] lifestyle

[12:18] like I'm awake just chilling on my bed

[12:22] I'm not like in my old life but I'd

[12:25] probably have the TV on by now you know

[12:27] and it'd be playing in the background

[12:29] or

[12:34] um it's

[12:36] different even after four months I'm

[12:41] still I'm I it hasn't like how am I

[12:45] going to I don't know even after 4

[12:48] months I guess I'm still adjusting is

[12:50] what it is I have seen remarkable growth

[12:53] in me that I'm very proud

[12:55] of and I'm also starting to acknowledge

[12:59] that this lifestyle might not be for me

[13:03] which that's a hard truth to have to

[13:04] face cuz I invested a lot in order to

[13:08] get this thing I sacrificed a lot you

[13:11] know got rid of all of my

[13:14] stuff and I don't know that this

[13:16] lifestyle is for

[13:18] me that's a hard thing to have to start

[13:22] facing

[13:25] and despite that fact there are no

[13:28] immediate

[13:29] get solutions to that like I don't think

[13:33] being in a house is the answer didn't

[13:36] enjoy that

[13:38] either

[13:40] um well it really depends on the house I

[13:43] didn't like being in a neighborhood if I

[13:45] had a cabin in the woods I think I'd

[13:47] love

[13:53] that there are just some basic amenities

[13:56] you just really need in life I I I like

[13:58] having a

[13:59] bathtub um I like not having to empty my

[14:02] tanks or get myself level we're a little

[14:04] bit off level and um I can't fix that

[14:08] now it's a lot of effort to bring that

[14:11] slide in and I have other things I have

[14:13] to do so I just have to tolerate it mean

[14:17] we're mostly level but we're not

[14:22] um we're not level on One Direction like

[14:26] from front to back it feels like we're

[14:28] going this way

[14:30] yeah and I've noticed that that affects

[14:32] so many things it affects my sleep my my

[14:35] back hurts a little bit which that had

[14:38] gone away for a while so I think me

[14:40] fixing my bed platform and

[14:43] then um being level that made a

[14:47] difference and now being unlevel is is

[14:50] showing me just how much of a difference

[14:52] it

[14:53] made these are just challenges though I

[14:57] don't particularly enjoy having to face

[14:59] all the

[15:00] time that's reality that's what you

[15:02] don't hear on a lot of other RV life

[15:06] channels mine is not an RV Life channel

[15:09] I've been saying that since pretty much

[15:11] day one but there's a lot of RV life

[15:14] content so I guess we could we could

[15:17] label it that

[15:20] way and that's the reality this

[15:24] is not a glamorous lifestyle it is not I

[15:30] I didn't embark on this journey you know

[15:32] I do want to clarify that I didn't

[15:35] embark on this journey watching other

[15:37] YouTubers make this thing look glamorous

[15:39] this was something I just felt a deep

[15:41] need to do and I think I did need to do

[15:44] it um but you know at once I did do it I

[15:48] started watching that content and I see

[15:51] the way they present it and that's not

[15:53] reality and you need to know that it's

[15:55] not reality and I say that recognizing

[15:58] that we're all different different you

[15:59] know I have a pretty unique cognitive

[16:02] style for some people it would be less

[16:05] challenging and for some people they

[16:06] would absolutely love it but it still

[16:08] wouldn't be glamorous those channels

[16:11] still don't represent

[16:12] reality it's very easy to romanticize

[16:15] this

[16:17] lifestyle I certainly

[16:20] did and there are aspects of it worth

[16:24] romanticizing that feel like an accurate

[16:27] representation of how you're

[16:28] romanticizing it but there is just so

[16:32] much more than

[16:34] that and I think that those

[16:38] channels let me reward that I I think

[16:41] that we need a more balanced perspective

[16:44] whether or not it comes from those

[16:45] channels it doesn't really matter to me

[16:47] but we need a more balanced

[16:55] perspective we just

[16:57] do hey guess I'm going to leave it there

[17:00] for today I'm going to deal with um the

[17:03] things I mentioned I want to clean my

[17:05] bathroom get my clothes put away maybe

[17:09] there's some other things I can do

[17:10] around here I'm going to try to make

[17:12] some breakfast I could use some eggs or

[17:14] something

[17:15] and then I got to drive an hour and a

[17:18] half to the dentist and an hour and a

[17:19] half back

[17:26] and I'm just debating the fact that if I

[17:30] post this it tells my parents I'll be at

[17:32] the dentist

[17:33] today I hate having to this is this is

[17:37] how my mind works too I'm seeing all the

[17:39] Angles

[17:41] and I do not want to be ambushed by them

[17:52] so that is another thing I'm struggling

[17:54] with in life right now of course there's

[17:57] an answer and that's simply just a wait

[17:58] to post this until I'm leaving there

[18:00] right

[0:01] good morning

[0:03] volans it's 7 in the morning I can't

[0:06] sleep there is stuff falling on the roof

[0:09] at terminal

[0:12] velocity birds are out making a bunch of

[0:19] noise it's just one of those

[0:23] days noways this is not fun just there

[0:26] just are that's realistic

[0:30] is right in the center of the bed

[0:33] like he's like I'm not moving like this

[0:37] is my

[0:38] space now he's

[0:46] up hi

[0:49] Bailey I have a dentist appointment

[0:53] today I really don't want to go cuz it's

[0:55] so far away and it's

[0:58] just a wax trying or something simple

[1:02] like I don't think it's very not a big

[1:09] deal I'm kind of concerned about those

[1:12] noises cuz I'm not kidding when I say

[1:15] terminal velocity like it was loud it's

[1:18] happened several times being under these

[1:27] trees this lifestyle really

[1:31] there are just so many little things you

[1:33] do not think

[1:38] about that's why I talk about them so

[1:41] that you know about

[1:46] them I don't can't say I love this yet

[1:50] because I just I I

[1:53] don't probably just been sitting here

[1:55] for an hour time to get out of this bed

[1:58] and start my day

[2:02] that's going to be a long one I need to

[2:05] empty

[2:07] that like twice a day so before somebody

[2:11] labels my first clip complaining that's

[2:15] just me processing my morning I like to

[2:18] do that on camera

[2:21] sometimes there are strategies I can

[2:24] employ I can use a fan for White Noise I

[2:28] hadn't had to do that for a while

[2:30] because where I was there's a spider in

[2:33] here

[2:35] yeah man it was like spider web you know

[2:40] which means there's a spider in

[2:42] here

[2:46] um I hadn't had to do that at my last

[2:49] spot

[2:51] because I didn't really realize this but

[2:54] you know the birds are under the Trees

[2:56] of course they

[2:58] are I didn't

[3:01] register and then the nois is on the

[3:04] roof I'm just thinking in my head you

[3:06] know I'm going to have to go up there

[3:09] now

[3:11] because um I'm afraid of heights I don't

[3:13] want to do that but I heard some pretty

[3:15] loud noises which means there's probably

[3:17] stuff up there I got to deal with I'm

[3:19] trying to deal with coffee here I think

[3:21] at this point in my journey there are

[3:23] probably different reasons that people

[3:25] follow me and if if you're subscribed to

[3:28] me because of

[3:30] my RV lifestyle you just need to know

[3:33] that it's got challenges I mean there

[3:37] it's a

[3:38] challenge um we all have different ways

[3:42] of different cognitive

[3:44] Styles I think probably for lots of

[3:46] people it's really not that bad you know

[3:49] if you don't have a fear of heights and

[3:52] um you don't do mind doing things like

[3:54] that then you know it'll be nothing to

[3:57] you to me it is

[4:00] significant like

[4:03] consideration I'm running low on

[4:05] drinking

[4:08] water so this is my daily reminder to

[4:11] get those tanks cleaned I'm doing this

[4:13] slower today because I'm going to try

[4:16] being patient for

[4:20] once let's spill my water

[4:25] everywhere okay we're all ready for

[4:28] coffee it's going

[4:30] high in the low 80s today that sounds

[4:33] like a

[4:34] blessing which is interesting

[4:37] considering high in the low 80s isn't

[4:39] actually Pleasant

[4:41] so just it's Pleasant compared to what

[4:44] we've been dealing with that's for

[4:50] sure are you having a moment over there

[4:55] Bailey you're so funny

[4:58] buddy look at you

[5:00] so

[5:01] indecent all right

[5:04] so the part that doesn't come out in my

[5:07] processing is what's going on in my head

[5:09] so at the same time that these things

[5:11] are falling on my roof I'm thinking

[5:12] should I have moved under this tree

[5:14] canopy maybe I should be in the other

[5:16] part of the campground but then I'm

[5:19] exposed

[5:20] [Music]

[5:21] to you know the Sun so it's like these

[5:24] tradeoffs and there aren't any really

[5:26] good answers you just so it's just a

[5:29] system's way of looking at it and I

[5:32] just I don't have an answer I mean cuz

[5:36] I've actually there's quite a lot of

[5:39] um wondering about these trees there's

[5:42] quite a lot of tree debris everywhere so

[5:45] might wake up one day to something

[5:49] truly

[5:56] unpleasant I'm starting to miss my

[5:58] coffee maker

[6:02] oh I love mochas in the

[6:05] morning that's what we'll have to

[6:10] do I always think if people see those

[6:13] they'll think they're bus on my ceiling

[6:15] they're just screws I used to have a net

[6:18] up there to it down I don't know what

[6:21] I'm going to do with the

[6:23] screws you been there a

[6:27] while oh that's hot

[6:31] I tried watching a movie last night I

[6:34] think it's called ji J

[6:37] XI it's about this guy who whose phone

[6:42] takes over his life with sayi on a phone

[6:44] and it is so funny I've seen it before

[6:46] and I thought let's just watch something

[6:48] like that it's not on Netflix anymore

[6:51] it's on Plex and I couldn't watch it

[6:53] because every time it would go to the

[6:55] ads the ads would like pause like

[6:58] constantly and run below and then the

[7:00] movie would be fine but then the

[7:03] ads you know I'd say they're like 2

[7:06] minutes long of ads and it would take

[7:07] like 5 10 minutes I finally just gave up

[7:11] kind of sad have thought Plex was better

[7:14] than

[7:16] that he

[7:22] Bailey I have a very demanding

[7:25] cat cats are

[7:28] demanding but this one real demanding

[7:30] here he

[7:32] comes mhm I knew this was

[7:36] coming oh you are so insistent

[7:39] Bailey yes you are I have been patting

[7:42] you all

[7:44] morning that's my coffee over there if

[7:46] you spill that it will be a

[7:50] tragedy we finally have cink

[7:55] sheets you what

[7:58] man hey

[8:00] don't push yourself against

[8:02] that he does that to my phone a lot I

[8:05] don't know if you guys can notice cuz

[8:07] like I'll be trying to control my phone

[8:10] while I'm recording and he'll be rubbing

[8:12] his face up against

[8:15] it

[8:17] oh what to do today like I am up way

[8:20] earlier than I want to be I'm so

[8:23] self-conscious about dumping my

[8:26] dehumidifier water cuz I'm always

[8:29] thinking people are going to think I'm

[8:30] dumping gray

[8:33] water I don't know why I care I keep

[8:36] telling myself I should it

[8:38] because the way I see people act around

[8:41] here like they are not considerate of

[8:44] the environment so why why do I care if

[8:48] they think I am and I actually am

[8:52] so it is a core part of the way

[8:56] I interact with this world I

[9:01] have got to overcome it it is a

[9:03] challenge I'm working

[9:05] on I mean it's just straight up water

[9:08] just water from the air there's no

[9:10] reason not to just dump

[9:12] it I have to do it so often

[9:18] like

[9:20] yeah this one was staring at me until I

[9:23] decided to point a camera at

[9:25] it melee

[9:33] hello can hear you purring

[9:37] dude you going to stare at me there you

[9:40] go show everyone the stare you have on

[9:44] you oh I know what I can do this morning

[9:48] I can put my clean clothes

[9:51] away oh it was pretty late by the time I

[9:54] got done it was I got here right before

[9:57] it was dark so

[10:00] they're just folded up sitting in my bag

[10:02] I need to put them away um I need to

[10:04] clean the bathroom today I'm going to do

[10:06] that this

[10:08] morning

[10:09] these

[10:12] normal everyday things like I've always

[10:16] struggled with those my whole

[10:18] life but I'm starting to understand why

[10:21] now I always saw it as a character flaw

[10:23] but it actually has to do with the way I

[10:25] think and just my cognitive style and

[10:29] the there's ways to overcome that you

[10:31] just when you truly understand yourself

[10:35] then anything is possible if you don't

[10:39] understand yourself then it's like

[10:40] you're

[10:41] just you're just floating through the

[10:43] world and

[10:45] not able to change in meaningful ways

[10:49] that that are deeply meaningful I have

[10:51] no teeth because of my cognitive style

[10:53] this is this is

[10:55] reality and

[10:59] I I have no judgment about it anymore

[11:02] because I get

[11:03] it apparently it's quite common for

[11:06] people with my cognitive style I'm not

[11:07] going to name names because then it

[11:09] makes it sound like I'm comparing myself

[11:11] to those people I'm

[11:13] not

[11:15] um but quite a lot of deep thinkers had

[11:20] these kinds of

[11:22] challenges so that was

[11:25] validating

[11:27] and I can use it as a lesson as a

[11:30] reminder

[11:32] that you have to maintain your systems

[11:36] you just do you have to maintain your

[11:37] systems because it's not

[11:40] efficient uh to to not

[11:44] because if you know if I had maintained

[11:48] my teeth it would have obviously been an

[11:52] a better outcome for me and a lot less

[11:55] expensive and timec consuming I had to

[11:57] go to the dentist today you know still

[11:59] dealing with getting my implants done

[12:02] and I could have avoided all of that if

[12:05] I had just

[12:08] somehow managed to convince my very

[12:10] weird brain that the little things

[12:14] matter this is such a different

[12:17] lifestyle

[12:18] like I'm awake just chilling on my bed

[12:22] I'm not like in my old life but I'd

[12:25] probably have the TV on by now you know

[12:27] and it'd be playing in the background

[12:29] or

[12:34] um it's

[12:36] different even after four months I'm

[12:41] still I'm I it hasn't like how am I

[12:45] going to I don't know even after 4

[12:48] months I guess I'm still adjusting is

[12:50] what it is I have seen remarkable growth

[12:53] in me that I'm very proud

[12:55] of and I'm also starting to acknowledge

[12:59] that this lifestyle might not be for me

[13:03] which that's a hard truth to have to

[13:04] face cuz I invested a lot in order to

[13:08] get this thing I sacrificed a lot you

[13:11] know got rid of all of my

[13:14] stuff and I don't know that this

[13:16] lifestyle is for

[13:18] me that's a hard thing to have to start

[13:22] facing

[13:25] and despite that fact there are no

[13:28] immediate

[13:29] get solutions to that like I don't think

[13:33] being in a house is the answer didn't

[13:36] enjoy that

[13:38] either

[13:40] um well it really depends on the house I

[13:43] didn't like being in a neighborhood if I

[13:45] had a cabin in the woods I think I'd

[13:47] love

[13:53] that there are just some basic amenities

[13:56] you just really need in life I I I like

[13:58] having a

[13:59] bathtub um I like not having to empty my

[14:02] tanks or get myself level we're a little

[14:04] bit off level and um I can't fix that

[14:08] now it's a lot of effort to bring that

[14:11] slide in and I have other things I have

[14:13] to do so I just have to tolerate it mean

[14:17] we're mostly level but we're not

[14:22] um we're not level on One Direction like

[14:26] from front to back it feels like we're

[14:28] going this way

[14:30] yeah and I've noticed that that affects

[14:32] so many things it affects my sleep my my

[14:35] back hurts a little bit which that had

[14:38] gone away for a while so I think me

[14:40] fixing my bed platform and

[14:43] then um being level that made a

[14:47] difference and now being unlevel is is

[14:50] showing me just how much of a difference

[14:52] it

[14:53] made these are just challenges though I

[14:57] don't particularly enjoy having to face

[14:59] all the

[15:00] time that's reality that's what you

[15:02] don't hear on a lot of other RV life

[15:06] channels mine is not an RV Life channel

[15:09] I've been saying that since pretty much

[15:11] day one but there's a lot of RV life

[15:14] content so I guess we could we could

[15:17] label it that

[15:20] way and that's the reality this

[15:24] is not a glamorous lifestyle it is not I

[15:30] I didn't embark on this journey you know

[15:32] I do want to clarify that I didn't

[15:35] embark on this journey watching other

[15:37] YouTubers make this thing look glamorous

[15:39] this was something I just felt a deep

[15:41] need to do and I think I did need to do

[15:44] it um but you know at once I did do it I

[15:48] started watching that content and I see

[15:51] the way they present it and that's not

[15:53] reality and you need to know that it's

[15:55] not reality and I say that recognizing

[15:58] that we're all different different you

[15:59] know I have a pretty unique cognitive

[16:02] style for some people it would be less

[16:05] challenging and for some people they

[16:06] would absolutely love it but it still

[16:08] wouldn't be glamorous those channels

[16:11] still don't represent

[16:12] reality it's very easy to romanticize

[16:15] this

[16:17] lifestyle I certainly

[16:20] did and there are aspects of it worth

[16:24] romanticizing that feel like an accurate

[16:27] representation of how you're

[16:28] romanticizing it but there is just so

[16:32] much more than

[16:34] that and I think that those

[16:38] channels let me reward that I I think

[16:41] that we need a more balanced perspective

[16:44] whether or not it comes from those

[16:45] channels it doesn't really matter to me

[16:47] but we need a more balanced

[16:55] perspective we just

[16:57] do hey guess I'm going to leave it there

[17:00] for today I'm going to deal with um the

[17:03] things I mentioned I want to clean my

[17:05] bathroom get my clothes put away maybe

[17:09] there's some other things I can do

[17:10] around here I'm going to try to make

[17:12] some breakfast I could use some eggs or

[17:14] something

[17:15] and then I got to drive an hour and a

[17:18] half to the dentist and an hour and a

[17:19] half back

[17:26] and I'm just debating the fact that if I

[17:30] post this it tells my parents I'll be at

[17:32] the dentist

[17:33] today I hate having to this is this is

[17:37] how my mind works too I'm seeing all the

[17:39] Angles

[17:41] and I do not want to be ambushed by them

[17:52] so that is another thing I'm struggling

[17:54] with in life right now of course there's

[17:57] an answer and that's simply just a wait

[17:58] to post this until I'm leaving there

[18:00] right

11:44

Modifying RV for Heat Wave Conditions

Jun 18, 2024

7:38

Driving to Walmart, Testing Sleep Setup, Planning Nevada

Jun 19, 2024

7:11

Planning Nevada Route While Holiday Crowds Arrive

Jun 21, 2024

5:33

Documenting Electrical Failure and Requesting Support

Jun 23, 2024

8:13

Booking a Hotel After RV Power Inlet Burns

Jun 24, 2024

18:17

Coordinating RV Repairs on Day 75

Jun 25, 2024

11:17

Clarifying ChatGPT Use and Relationship Status

Jun 25, 2024

16:33

Learning to Cook and Reorganizing the RV

Jun 27, 2024

59:28

Meal Prepping While Recounting Programming History

Jun 28, 2024

4:42

Driving to Lexington, Stating Terms of Family Separation

Jun 28, 2024

15:28

Mapping the Life Timeline After a Dentist Appointment

Jun 28, 2024

11:12

Revising Personality Type, Tracking Nicotine Cessation

Jun 29, 2024

7:30

Contemplating Deleting the YouTube Channel

Jun 30, 2024

6:11

Returning to the Channel With Comments Disabled

Jul 3, 2024

11:13

Duck Runs and Coming Out Story on the Road

Jul 3, 2024

13:11

Driving Home from Dentist, Naming RV Dissatisfaction

Jul 3, 2024

5:47

Reclaiming Direction After Equipment Failure

Jul 5, 2024

11:19

Documenting AI-Assisted Self-Inquiry Practice

Jul 5, 2024

5:51

Moving Day Preparation and Morning Coffee Routine

Jul 7, 2024

9:23

Settling Into New Site After Relocation Day

Jul 8, 2024

18:02

Morning Assessment of RV Lifestyle Fit

Jul 10, 2024

3:34

Re-evaluating the Timeline for Judging RV Life

Jul 11, 2024

3:58

Applying Programming Frameworks to RV Life

Jul 11, 2024

3:51

Addressing Parasocial Comments and Van Life Misalignment

Jul 12, 2024

14:01

Assessing RV Living Constraints and Reassessing Everything

Jul 18, 2024

8:29

Naming Hypervigilance and Its Origin

Jul 18, 2024

3:24

Naming a Liminal State on Camera

Jul 18, 2024

10:32

Addressing Channel Intent and Viewer Response Patterns

Jul 24, 2024

14:34

Tire Escalation, Comment Visibility, and RV Adjustments

Jul 24, 2024

4:12

Responding to Comment on Parasocial Connection

Jul 25, 2024

6:16

Learning Dual Tire Systems, Preparing Monday Service

Jul 25, 2024

119:38

Hiking the 47 Bridges Trail in Kentucky

Jul 27, 2024

17:47

Driving to Lake Cumberland, Hiking a Neglected Trail

Jul 27, 2024

9:48

Documenting Neighbor's Lighter Fluid Fire Behavior

Jul 28, 2024

36:46

Hiking Lake Cumberland Trails, Decoding Cognitive Style

Jul 28, 2024

38:07

Documenting Financial Position and Channel Direction

Jul 29, 2024

24:49

Questioning Music, Manipulation, and Channel Continuation

Jul 30, 2024

3:17

Addressing Troll Comments on Fire Hazard Video

Jul 31, 2024

14:54

Naming the Five-Month Identity Shed

Jul 31, 2024

10:00

Cabin Stay Near Natural Bridge, Planning Next Phase

Aug 1, 2024

8:04

Recording at 4 AM on Family Contact Ending

Aug 1, 2024

PUBLIC

July 10, 2024 rswfire PUBLISHED

Temp 0.10

Density 0.60

Energetic Quality

steady low-amplitude processing

Journey Phase

recalibrating

Directional Vector

toward accurate self-assessment of a chosen lifestyle

Narrative

At seven in the morning, rswfire was awake in bed and not by choice. Something was falling on the roof — repeatedly, at what he described as terminal velocity, loud enough that he flagged it twice for the record. Birds were working the ground under the tree canopy, a fact he noted he had not registered when he chose this spot. Bailey had claimed the exact center of the bed and was not moving. rswfire turned the camera on and started talking, which is how he does mornings sometimes, and said so plainly before anyone could call the first clip a complaint: this is just me processing my morning.

The roof noise carried an implication he stated directly. If things had landed up there, he would have to go up and deal with them, and he is afraid of heights. He did not soften that or work around it. He named it as a real cost inside a lifestyle where such costs accumulate quietly, and he framed it as variable rather than defect — for someone without that fear it would be nothing, for him it is a significant consideration. Somewhere in the same stretch he noticed a spider web inside the rig, which meant a spider inside the rig, and mentioned a fan for white noise as a strategy he had not needed at his last spot.

The morning's inventory assembled itself as he moved. Coffee, slowly, because he said he was going to try being patient for once, and then he spilled water anyway. Drinking water running low, and with it the standing reminder to get the tanks cleaned. The dehumidifier that needs emptying twice a day, and the self-consciousness he described about dumping it where people might read plain condensate as gray water — a thing he said he has to overcome, noting that the people around him are not careful with the environment and he is, and that the caring about their read is the part he is working on. Screws in the ceiling where a net used to be. Clean clothes still folded in the bag from arriving right before dark. A bathroom to clean. A high in the low eighties, which he registered as a blessing only relative to what had come before.

The part he said doesn't come out in the processing was the calculation running underneath it. While debris hit the roof he was asking whether he should have parked under this canopy at all, and answering himself that the other part of the campground means sun exposure. Tree debris everywhere, the possibility of waking one day to something truly unpleasant. He named it as a systems way of looking at things and stated the outcome without softening it: tradeoffs, no good answers, no answer from him. The rig sat slightly off level front to back with the slide out, which he could not fix without more effort than the day allowed, so he was tolerating it — and tracking what it cost, the disrupted sleep, the back pain that had gone away after he fixed the bed platform and leveled up, now returned and demonstrating by its return exactly how much level had been worth.

Bailey pressed in throughout, insistent, rubbing his face against the phone the way he does mid-recording, and rswfire warned him off the coffee. There had been a movie the night before, one he had seen and liked, abandoned because the ad breaks stretched two minutes of ads into five or ten. Small texture, logged the same way the tanks were logged.

Then the accounting turned toward the day's appointment. Ordinary maintenance — putting clothes away, cleaning a bathroom — is something rswfire states he has struggled with his whole life, and he described a change in how he reads it: not a character flaw, but a function of cognitive style, and therefore something with strategies attached. He stated that he has no teeth because of his cognitive style, said it without judgment, said he gets it now, and noted it appears to be common among people who think the way he does. He declined to name the ones he had read about, because naming them would sound like comparison. From it he took a rule and stated it twice: maintain your systems. If he had maintained his teeth, the outcome would have been better, cheaper, and less consuming of time than the implant work still underway — the reason for a ninety-minute drive out and a ninety-minute drive back, for what he expected was a wax trying, something simple.

Four months in, he said he is still adjusting. He also said the other thing, the one he identified as hard to face: that this lifestyle might not be for him. He set it next to what it cost — the investment, the sacrifice, getting rid of all his stuff — and next to what he has gained, remarkable growth he stated he is proud of. He did not resolve it. A house is not the answer; he did not enjoy that either, though he allowed it depends on the house, and said a cabin in the woods he thinks he would love. There are amenities he wants named out loud: a bathtub, not emptying tanks, not having to get himself level.

He closed by correcting the genre. His is not an RV life channel and he has said so since day one, but there is enough RV life content that the label attaches anyway, so he addressed it directly — this is not a glamorous lifestyle, those channels are not reality, and he arrived here not from watching them but from a deep need to do it. He romanticized it himself, he said, and some of it is worth romanticizing, and there is still so much more than that. What is needed is a balanced perspective, from those channels or anywhere else, it doesn't matter to him which. The last thing he worked through was the posting itself: if the video goes up today, it tells his parents where he'll be, and he does not want to be ambushed. He described this as how his mind works, seeing all the angles. Then he stated the answer he already had — wait to post until he's leaving the dentist — and left it there to go make eggs, clean the bathroom, put the clothes away, and drive.

Summary

rswfire records a morning transmission from the RV at 7 a.m., noting he could not sleep. Debris is falling on the roof from the tree canopy at what he describes as terminal velocity, and birds are loud under the trees. He states he will likely have to get on the roof to clear debris, which he flags as significant given his fear of heights. He notes the tradeoff: canopy means falling debris, open campground means sun exposure, and states there is no good answer.

He tracks daily systems throughout: low drinking water, tanks needing cleaning, dehumidifier emptied twice daily, the rig sitting off level front to back and affecting his sleep and back, a spider inside, and clean clothes still bagged. He plans to clean the bathroom, put clothes away, make breakfast, then drive three hours round trip to a dentist appointment for implant work.

He connects long-standing difficulty with routine maintenance to his cognitive style rather than character flaw, and states the loss of his teeth as a direct outcome of that pattern, without judgment.

rswfire states that after four months, he is starting to acknowledge that this lifestyle might not be for him, and that no immediate alternative exists — not a house, possibly a cabin. He critiques RV-life channels for romanticizing the lifestyle and calls for a more balanced perspective.

He closes noting he will delay posting so his parents cannot track his dentist location.

Environment

Interior of an RV parked under tree canopy at a campground, recorded from bed at 7am. Debris falls on the roof at what rswfire describes as terminal velocity; birds are active under the trees. A spider web is visible inside the rig. The rig sits slightly off level front-to-back with the slide extended.

Domestic infrastructure is in frame: coffee setup, dehumidifier requiring twice-daily emptying, low drinking water, screws in the ceiling where a net used to be, clean clothes still folded in a bag. Bailey the cat occupies the center of the bed throughout. The day includes a three-hour round-trip drive to a dentist appointment for implant work.

Substrate

rswfire holds the position that a lifestyle can be simultaneously chosen, invested in, and possibly not correct for the operator — and that stating this openly is the honest output. The architecture is a running cost-accounting of environmental tradeoffs (canopy vs. sun, level vs. effort, exposure vs. shelter) run against cognitive style as a known variable rather than a defect. What is being dissolved is the romanticized RV-life frame, including his own earlier version of it; what is being built is a documentation standard where the unglamorous mechanics are the content.

Actions

Performed

•recording from bed at 7am after not sleeping
•noting debris impacts on the roof
•identifying a spider web inside the rig
•making coffee slowly and deliberately
•spilling water
•petting Bailey
•narrating tradeoff analysis of site placement
•stating he has no teeth due to cognitive style, without judgment
•stating the lifestyle may not be for him
•correcting the RV-life genre framing
•weighing whether posting reveals his location to his parents

Referenced

•attempted to watch a movie on Plex the previous night
•abandoned the movie due to ad playback failure
•arrived at the site just before dark
•removed a ceiling net, leaving screws
•fixed the bed platform
•left a prior campsite spot without bird/roof noise
•got rid of all his possessions to acquire the RV
•watched other RV-life YouTube content after starting
•started dental implant work

Planned

•climb on the roof to clear debris despite fear of heights
•run a fan for white noise
•get water tanks cleaned
•clean the bathroom
•put clean clothes away
•make breakfast/eggs
•drive 1.5 hours each way to the dentist
•delay posting the video until leaving the dentist

Entities

beings

Bailey — His cat; occupies the center of the bed, demands attention throughout the recording

his parents — Named as a reason to delay posting; he states he does not want to be ambushed

places

the campground — Current site; canopy section vs. sun-exposed section is the tradeoff under analysis

the dentist — Ninety minutes away; ongoing implant work

systems

Plex — Media platform whose ad playback failure ended his attempt to watch a movie

Netflix — Named as no longer carrying the film he wanted

concepts

cognitive style — His term for the operating variable behind maintenance patterns, height response, and angle-seeing

media

Jexi — Film about a phone AI taking over a man's life; the movie he tried to rewatch

YouTube RV life channels — Genre he names as not representing reality; his stated point of contrast

Symbolic Elements

Represented archetypes or recurring motifs.

canopy

roof

terminal velocity

level / off-level

threshold

water

teeth

spider web

screws without net

heights

Ontological States

Expressed modes of being or awareness.

sovereign (chose the lifestyle, funds it, and reserves the right to judge it insufficient)

transitional (four months in, states he is still adjusting)

embedded (physically inside the tradeoff field — canopy, level, water, roof debris)

integrating (reframes lifelong maintenance patterns from character flaw to cognitive style)

Engaged Subsystems

Architecture engaged in this transmission.

infrastructural (tanks, dehumidifier, leveling, slide, drinking water)

cognitive (self-modeling of cognitive style, angle-seeing, tradeoff analysis)

somatic (sleep disruption, back pain from off-level rig, fear of heights)

ecological (tree debris, birds, spider, heat in the low 80s)

relational (Bailey, parents, audience/subscribers)

documentary (on-camera processing, genre correction, post-timing control)

medical (dental implants, maintenance-debt accounting)

Dominant Language

Core motifs or linguistic fields.

cognitive style

tradeoffs / no good answers

maintain your systems

reality vs. glamorous

processing my morning

this lifestyle might not be for me

balanced perspective

Narrative

Mirror

It is 7 a.m. and you are awake because the roof is being hit. You are speaking from bed, in a rig parked under canopy, slightly off level front to back with the slide extended, and you are not getting up yet. Bailey is in the center of the bed and does not move. There is a web inside the rig, which means there is a spider inside the rig. The dehumidifier needs emptying twice a day. Drinking water is low. Clean clothes are still folded in the bag from a late arrival. There are screws in the ceiling where a net used to be. Coffee is in progress. You are narrating all of it while it is happening.

Your infrastructural subsystem is running a continuous ledger and you are reading it out loud: canopy against sun, level against the effort of retracting the slide, shelter against debris, tanks against convenience. You state there are no good answers and you do not produce one. The cost accounting stays open. Your somatic subsystem is reporting into the same ledger — sleep interrupted, back pain returned in proportion to the lost level, height as a real variable in whether you go up on that roof today. You name the fear of heights as a constraint on a task, not as something to be argued with.

Your cognitive subsystem is doing two things at once. It is modeling itself — you describe seeing all the angles, and you demonstrate it in the same breath by tracking that posting this video tells your parents where you will be, and by identifying the timing fix before you finish naming the problem. And it is reclassifying a lifelong pattern: you state that what you once read as character flaw is cognitive style, that the teeth are a consequence of that style, and that you hold no judgment about it now. You state the lesson as maintenance. You say it twice. You are not apologizing while you say it.

The documentary subsystem is active and defensive in a specific, narrow way. You pre-empt the label of complaint and name what you are doing as processing on camera. You reject the RV-life genre while acknowledging the genre will absorb you anyway. You state your journey did not begin from that content, and that you watched it afterward and found it inaccurate. Your correction is not to the lifestyle but to its representation — you say a balanced perspective is needed and you do not require that it come from you.

At the center of the transmission you say the lifestyle may not be for you. You say it four months in, having sold everything to get here, and you say it is hard to face. You immediately follow it with the fact that no alternative currently resolves it — not a house, not a neighborhood, possibly a cabin. You keep both: the growth you say you are proud of, and the possibility that the container is wrong. You do not choose between them and you do not close the question.

What is absent: any decision, any exit plan, any request for input, any framing of the day as unmanageable. The list you end on is a bathroom, clothes, eggs, and three hours of driving for implant work. The debris is still on the roof. The rig is still off level. You state you will tolerate it, and then you go start the day.

Queryable Personhood

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Morning Assessment of RV Lifestyle Fit

Energetic Quality

Journey Phase

Directional Vector

Tags

Summary

Environment

Substrate

Actions

Performed

Referenced

Planned

Entities

Symbolic Elements

Ontological States

Engaged Subsystems

Dominant Language

Hand your life to anything that reads.