[0:01]
So, it's almost 8:00 p.m. here. I'm just
[0:04]
leaving Newport. I drove up here to see
[0:07]
John. It's an hour and a half from
[0:09]
me. I came up here to see him because
[0:11]
it's my birthday. I didn't want to spend
[0:13]
it alone. I wanted to see my friend. And
[0:16]
he was going to loan me $40 that I could
[0:18]
have used to put fuel on my Jeep. I got
[0:23]
some fortunate news. My mom reached out
[0:25]
to my aunt who I hadn't talked to in
[0:27]
decades and she sent me
[0:29]
$200. So I gave him his money back cuz
[0:33]
you know he doesn't have a lot himself
[0:36]
and not trying to take what I don't
[0:38]
absolutely need. So, I took the money
[0:41]
that my aunt gave
[0:42]
me and I booked my
[0:46]
campground for the remaining nights that
[0:49]
I'm allowed to be there because you can
[0:50]
only stay up to 14 nights and that was
[0:53]
mostly a week. So, um I'm there till
[0:56]
Friday now.
[0:58]
Hopefully, I'll have all of
[1:02]
the all of the um steps that you have to
[1:06]
go through in order
[1:08]
to be able to start volunteering for the
[1:11]
Forest Service. And hopefully I'll have
[1:13]
that done by then and I'll be able to
[1:14]
move there by Friday. So, that's that's
[1:16]
the hope.
[1:18]
Um, I wasn't able to, um, get
[1:22]
fingerprinted today because I never got
[1:24]
the email about this and I needed to get
[1:26]
an email that gave me in instructions
[1:30]
and I think from what she was telling
[1:32]
me, you actually have to schedule an
[1:33]
appointment. So,
[1:36]
um, you know, I had reached out to her
[1:38]
hoping hoping to get that done, but it
[1:40]
just didn't happen. Hopefully Monday,
[1:43]
I'll just drive right up there and do
[1:45]
it. It's quite a distance. is 90 mi away
[1:48]
one way. So,
[1:50]
[Music]
[1:51]
um I'll get that done
[1:54]
cuz I feel like this is a very good
[1:57]
opportunity for me.
[1:59]
I'll just be one of two caretakers on
[2:02]
this
[2:03]
campground or basically responsible for
[2:08]
um being the presence there.
[2:12]
[Music]
[2:14]
And it's, you know, it's pretty basic
[2:17]
um chores that you have to
[2:20]
do. And I'll have electric, water,
[2:23]
sewer, and propane. And I'll be in a
[2:26]
stable environment near a big city. And
[2:29]
so I'll be able to start looking for
[2:31]
work like in town or something like
[2:34]
that, you know, with my rent and stuff
[2:36]
covered, renting utilities basically by
[2:39]
volunteering.
[2:40]
And then I only have to worry about my
[2:42]
other bills, which, you know, my Jeep
[2:44]
and my RV payments, my insurance, my
[2:47]
internet, my phone, and
[2:50]
food, you know, so I could cover that
[2:55]
from just a normal regular job somewhere
[2:59]
hopefully. So, I'm going to try to do
[3:02]
that. So, I got to wait a week, about
[3:04]
probably a week before I'll be at that
[3:06]
campground. At least I'm in a stable
[3:08]
environment for now. I'm still off grid.
[3:10]
I'll have to keep my batteries charged
[3:12]
through my using my
[3:13]
Jeep and I still have some things I'll
[3:16]
have to take care
[3:18]
of to secure this this relationship, but
[3:22]
it's basically done. I just, you know, I
[3:24]
need to go and
[3:26]
um just do their background check stuff
[3:29]
and
[3:31]
that's and I shouldn't have a problem
[3:33]
with that. So,
[3:35]
um I mean I won't have a problem with
[3:38]
it. there's nothing for them to find.
[3:40]
So, it's just, you know,
[3:43]
um I just really want to get there as
[3:46]
soon as possible. This campground is
[3:49]
it's an off-grid campground like the one
[3:51]
I'm at. So, everybody who's staying
[3:53]
there, they're all off grids. The hosts
[3:55]
are the ones that have
[3:57]
hookups. And it's right on the ocean and
[4:00]
the beach in the dunes and really close
[4:03]
to Kousay.
[4:06]
And I think that I'll I think I'll
[4:08]
really like it. I'm really excited for
[4:10]
this. I think feel fortunate about
[4:14]
it. So, for the next week,
[4:17]
um I need
[4:19]
to just wait. I'll keep looking for work
[4:23]
on Guru and
[4:25]
Upwork. I still have some resistance
[4:27]
around programming, but I'm going to
[4:29]
keep looking and if something comes up
[4:31]
and someone's willing to hire me, I'll
[4:33]
do the work. You know, I it's kind of
[4:37]
strange because I feel like I could make
[4:39]
so much more money as a freelance
[4:41]
programmer
[4:43]
versus, you know, working at a store in
[4:45]
town, but I would just rather work at
[4:47]
that store in town. That
[4:50]
just don't want to be a programmer
[4:52]
anymore. Did it all my life and I don't
[4:54]
want to do it
[4:54]
[Music]
[4:56]
anymore. Maybe that will change, you
[4:59]
know, cuz it has been quite a while
[5:00]
since I did it. And if I found the right
[5:03]
opportunities and I started doing it,
[5:05]
maybe I would go into a flow state where
[5:08]
um I could just see that expanding and
[5:11]
becoming my life again, but in a
[5:13]
different way cuz I'm, you know, I live
[5:17]
differently. Um I wanted to say nomad
[5:20]
there, but I'm going to be
[5:21]
stationary. This opportunity is mine for
[5:24]
as long as I stay there, but as soon as
[5:26]
I leave, you know, she'll have to get
[5:28]
someone else to go there. You can stay
[5:31]
for as long as you want to. As long, you
[5:34]
know, if they're working out and they
[5:35]
like you, you can stay there for months
[5:37]
or years, literally
[5:40]
years. And
[5:42]
so, you know, it's not like the state
[5:44]
parks where they have a maximum of 3
[5:46]
months and usually they, you know, when
[5:48]
they start you off, it's just for one
[5:50]
month. So, you're moving around every
[5:52]
month. Um, which to me that was kind of
[5:55]
like a benefit because I want to move
[5:57]
around. But here with the Forest
[6:01]
Service, this position is mine until I
[6:03]
give it up. So I have to be careful
[6:05]
about that. And you know,
[6:10]
um, I'm just not sure how that will go
[6:13]
because this movement is really
[6:14]
important to me. Exploration is
[6:16]
important. Um, it's not just important.
[6:19]
I think that it's a a defining attribute
[6:23]
of who I am, how I am. Like I feel
[6:29]
like I feel like movement is a big part
[6:33]
of what keeps me growing. Um cuz I'm
[6:36]
always I'm always pushing an edge. I'm
[6:38]
pushing at an edge. When you're
[6:40]
stationary, you stop pushing at those
[6:42]
edges and your life can start to
[6:44]
stagnate. it can become very
[6:47]
routine and it's not a thing that I
[6:50]
want. So,
[6:53]
um at the same time, this opportunity is
[6:57]
a really good one. And if
[7:01]
I can find a way to maybe find movement
[7:04]
while remaining
[7:06]
stationary, you know, because staying
[7:08]
there means stability while I
[7:13]
build, you know, the life that I
[7:15]
want. Maybe I commit for a year because
[7:19]
this is it's my birthday still, 48 years
[7:21]
old. Maybe I stay there for a year. And
[7:24]
year two was all about being a volunteer
[7:27]
for the Forest Service while
[7:31]
building, you know, more into my life,
[7:34]
building my savings,
[7:37]
um, building out how I want my RV to be,
[7:41]
you know, fixing the slide, getting a
[7:42]
better bed platform,
[7:45]
um, redoing the interior so that it
[7:48]
better matches the way that I live,
[7:51]
learning to cook,
[7:53]
um,
[7:55]
you know, getting very much better at
[7:57]
nutrition, learning to take care of
[7:59]
myself, learning
[8:01]
to do stretches in the morning,
[8:04]
exercise, which, you know, I get a lot
[8:06]
of exercise just from hiking, but just,
[8:08]
you know, calisthenics or something like
[8:11]
this,
[8:13]
building the version of myself that I I
[8:17]
hold internally, but don't doesn't match
[8:21]
doesn't match reality, doesn't match who
[8:23]
I am
[8:25]
externally doesn't match my behavior, my
[8:28]
patterns. This is about building new
[8:32]
patterns. If I can approach it from that
[8:36]
mindset, you
[8:38]
know, truly build the version of myself
[8:41]
I want to
[8:42]
be, there's a lot of
[8:45]
resistance. Somehow I'm going to have to
[8:47]
navigate and work through
[8:49]
that. I'm serious about this, though.
[8:53]
That could be a
[8:55]
good outcome for year two and maybe year
[8:58]
three is when I
[9:01]
start, you know, exploring
[9:03]
again. I'm sure during this, you know,
[9:06]
this this year now, second year, I will
[9:09]
see the rest of the Oregon coast. Even
[9:11]
if it's just my days off, I'll travel
[9:13]
north and, you know, eventually I will
[9:16]
get to the Columbia River.
[9:18]
But
[9:19]
maybe, you know, maybe it's only 6
[9:22]
months. I don't know. At some point, I'm
[9:24]
going to want to go back to nomadic
[9:25]
living. I'm going to want to move
[9:27]
around. And maybe not just on the Oregon
[9:31]
coast. Maybe I want to explore other
[9:33]
places. Um, I'd like to see Nevada
[9:36]
again, especially the
[9:38]
mountain and maybe travel back to
[9:41]
Kentucky.
[9:45]
So, I can hold all of this and
[9:49]
decide. I don't have to decide this
[9:52]
today. I'm fortunate that I have
[9:57]
stable stable housing. Um, I mean
[10:00]
technically my RV is stable and housing
[10:03]
myself, but navigating the world in it
[10:06]
is very
[10:07]
difficult and that's an edge that I just
[10:09]
don't feel completely comfortable with
[10:11]
yet. Like I just haven't learned how to
[10:14]
do dispersed camping and I don't have
[10:16]
the equipment for it, though. Those are
[10:17]
some other things I need to build.
[10:18]
Better batteries, better, you know,
[10:20]
getting a solar system and um again
[10:23]
because I had to sell mine. like there's
[10:26]
a lot I still need to do to feel
[10:29]
comfortable
[10:33]
um being truly nomadic. You know, if I'm
[10:37]
forced into it, I will do it because
[10:38]
that's also an edge and that's a way of
[10:40]
adapting and you know, but if I'm not, I
[10:45]
think I would like to take it a little
[10:47]
more
[10:48]
intentionally. I think that's what I'm
[10:50]
doing. So, cuz I was saying I'm
[10:51]
fortunate. I feel
[10:53]
fortunate that for the next week I'm
[10:55]
going to be on a
[10:57]
campground and then after that I'm going
[10:59]
to be on a different campground as a
[11:01]
volunteer as a
[11:04]
caretaker.
[11:07]
And so yeah, it's turned out to be a
[11:10]
pretty good birthday
[11:13]
because I I woke up this morning pretty
[11:16]
nervous cuz I didn't know what I was
[11:18]
going to do tomorrow. It was my last day
[11:20]
on the campground. and I had no way of
[11:22]
extending my my reservations
[11:25]
there.
[11:27]
But by the middle of the day, you know,
[11:29]
that was mostly it looked like that was
[11:32]
going to be solved. It hadn't been. It
[11:33]
took quite a while, but um you know, and
[11:36]
now at 8:00
[11:38]
p.m., I'm sitting back, you know, I'm
[11:40]
driving my Jeep on my way
[11:42]
home and reflecting on the fact that
[11:46]
everything did work out. Everything
[11:48]
worked
[11:49]
out. So, I still have $100. That's what
[11:52]
I have left um after
[11:55]
um my aunt sent me and extending my
[11:59]
stay. I'm going to need that to put fuel
[12:03]
in my RV cuz it's empty. Um my Jeep,
[12:07]
it's at half a tank. It'll probably be
[12:09]
maybe a quarter of a tank by the time I
[12:11]
get back. And you know, I lose use my
[12:13]
Jeep fuel a lot because it's what's
[12:16]
charging my house batteries and you
[12:18]
know, my devices and stuff. Um, I need
[12:23]
some groceries. Like I've been literally
[12:25]
living off of trail mix and tuna fish
[12:29]
and I'm so disgusted with those things
[12:32]
now. Need food. I have some of my food
[12:36]
back that um that I had given to John.
[12:40]
Um, he's in my back
[12:42]
seat. He actually cooked the chicken
[12:44]
breasts I had, which that's awesome
[12:47]
because, um, I was terrible at cooking
[12:50]
them. I tried and was not doing a very
[12:51]
good job. So, I have two of those that
[12:54]
are already cooked and I can cut those
[12:55]
up and put them into salads cuz John
[12:58]
taught me to make cabbage salads. That's
[13:00]
something that he eats all the time. And
[13:03]
you know, we had tonight, you know, we
[13:05]
had dinner together and
[13:08]
um you know, so there's a couple of
[13:10]
things I want to get from the store,
[13:12]
some cabbage and
[13:13]
stuff
[13:16]
and you know, so it should
[13:18]
be a much better week than the last week
[13:21]
was. It would be helpful if I had a
[13:24]
little bit more money. I'm not really
[13:26]
expecting anything, but I do have a
[13:28]
video up on my channel. I'm hopeful that
[13:31]
somebody, you know, maybe a couple
[13:33]
people just send small amounts of money
[13:35]
because, you know, they add up and it's
[13:38]
going to just make my life a lot
[13:41]
easier.
[13:44]
Um, so yeah, I just got to
[13:47]
wildport and I think I have exhausted
[13:49]
everything that's in my head. So, um,
[13:52]
I'll end the video here.
